Bump, Set, Spike...Give 'em What We Like!!

I love this music sidebar thing. I have so much fun choosing songs! This one was from my high school pre-game warm up CD. Go Lady Bruins! (For full imagery sake, imagine me dazzling in Gold and Brown...running a lap with my team while we're all swinging our arms)

Last night I went and played volleyball at the Stake Center. I realized today that I could post about it with absolutely no censoring. Nobody that was there reads this. Nobody even knows who else was there. Freedom!!!!!

I have been wishing, hoping, plotting for a volleyball night for women for as long as I've been married. In Denver, our church building was really unique in that they didn't have a gym, but rather, a true cultural hall. The ceiling was lower, it was carpeted (without basketball lines) and had stairs to the stage that went the entire width of it. You know....like the Lincoln Memorial or something. We did attempt to play volleyball there occasionally, but with the low ceiling, flimsy posts and risk of major rug burn, actual play there happened few and far between.

Of course, now that it finally starts here, I am moving. It's actually been going on for a month now but last night was the first time I didn't have a conflict or memory lapse. I got to the church at 8:30 and met two other ladies passing a ball back and forth to each other. I turned on my super charm and introduced myself and we made a triangle. Bump, bump, bump. Wheee!

Another woman comes and now there are four of us. Bump, Bump....wait a minute....set....bump. I'm still smiling but starting to wonder if this was the better choice over my bubble bath. After about fifteen minutes, the person with the keys to the closet shows up and we finally get the net set up.

It's been forever since I've played a game with a net set at women's height, which is way more fun. The few times I've played anything but backyard ball, the game is co-ed so the net is raised to the men's setting. For good reason too....the ego of certain men usually takes over and it prevents most from pummeling the ball down onto unsuspecting Sally Sue. Plus, I can't hit on a men's net. My vertical is all of about three inches.

While the net is getting set up, a few more women show up so there are nine of us total. We play four on five, which is o.k., but there are a lot of holes on the court and no one on either side is good enough to cover them. But I'm happy. I'm playing volleyball... I'm having a good time.

But it's kind of quiet. So, I turn on my hyper boost (my family will know what I'm talking about) and start totally spazzing out. Making jokes, taunting the other team in that overly friendly way (guffaw, guffaw) trying to get some smiles from these people. My attempts at breaking the ice hardly even get an eye twitch, though, so I concentrate on my game instead.

Nobody seems to be having a particularly good time, and I start to wonder why some came if it wasn't for the social interaction. Like the one woman who always punches the ball with her fist, no matter how the ball is coming to her. Serve receive? Punch! Trying to set (although...there is no way she was actually trying. I'm just saying the ball came to her on the second hit)? Punch! Free ball? Punch!

I noticed a pattern that whoever's team she was on tended to lose. At first, we switched up the teams by having two people from each team switch sides. The next time we started to switch up teams, one woman asked if we wanted to choose balls for teams. Huh? There are only nine of us and it's pretty easy to remember who was on which team the game before. There stood the eight of us, looking around, waiting for someone to make the decision so I said, "sure...let's choose balls."

She runs over to her backpack on the stage and whips out a tin pan. The kind my mom puts homemade carmels in or peanut brittle at Christmas. Rather than sweet treats, the tin was full of orange and white ping pong balls. She came prepared! I jokingly asked if she served in the primary and I didn't even get a smile! Tough, tough crowd.

Balls chosen and teams decided, we started again. Puncher and I happened to both choose white balls so the next two games weren't very fun. I really, really didn't want to be that bossy lady who is trying to relive any kind of glory day by "coaching" her team. But, nobody was getting the serve up because three people were crowding into the back row and everyone thought the other person would get it. When I asked who the setter was, in hopes that someone would move up to the net, the only response was, "Whoever wants to, I guess." No...no...no. It's supposed to be the person up at the net. The person you try to get the serve receive to. Smile on the outside, screaming on the inside.

I realize I sound like I'm starring in the movie, Dodgeball, but most of the women there were really trying to play. Everyone was serving overhand (except for one person who started in a low crouch and then did some bizarre sidewinder serve) and almost everyone at least attempted to set up a play instead of catapulting the ball back over after only one hit. It was more like someone just needed to take charge, you know?

We continued on, choosing more balls every so often. After we had been playing for about an hour, a man from the stake poked his head into the gym to see what was going on. Now, this man is THE nicest man. The most pure hearted man I've ever met. Truly, one of my favorite people ever. But he went on, and on, and on.....and on about how wonderful it was that we were there playing. "Look at you guys! How great that you are here playing! This is so neat! Gosh...I just think this is the best thing!" Eventually, his enchanting enthusiasm could no longer mask his real meaning which was, "look at you out of shape women getting out of your houses to be active together! Way to go! Keep up the effort!"....but in a totally nice way.

I don't know why women don't do this sort of thing more frequently or regularly. Well, I actually do. We have husbands who have callings or jobs that take precedence. Or important and valuable family and couple time to recharge and refresh a relationship. But, if the men can sneak out of the house for basketball AND ultimate frisbee AND softball (although, I should mention Jay rarely does. He, bless his heart, always says he'd rather be home with me!!!), women should try to do something every once in a while, too, that doesn't involve desserts.

We promptly ended at 10:00. I bet most people return next week. It was a good time. It would be even more fun with a few more people. Oh...and Sarah? Someone had knee pads! And it wasn't me!