Hand Ups Not Hand Outs

I have been insensitive. Last October, when we put a new stair railing in our home, we hired some Ukranians to do the work. I've made a lot of noise lately about hiring more "Russians" to do some work in my home. On Friday, when one of these workers arrived at my house to finish painting the bathroom, Christopher, who had stayed here overnight before he and Jen and their kids left for their Spring Break vacation, immediately said, "I don't think he's Russian. He looks Bosnian."

While Christopher might have an advantage because he has several Bosnian clients, it was arrogant and narrow-minded of me to assign a nation to these men without real knowledge. Especially to repeat it over and over. Christopher went to investigate and turns out he is Bosnian, and he's a Muslim Refugee. In fact, Christopher also discovered that some of his clients were from the same town as this man in Bosnia.

I felt like the Ugly American. I know it's impossible to tell what country someone is from simply by looking at them. And unless you are a linguistics expert, I'm guessing Russian and Bosnian sound an awful lot alike. To be truthful though, it was easier for me to deal with my frustrations by not really caring what language he was speaking.

Is it wrong that I didn't mind the extra $300 now knowing about their plight? Was I being a miserly miser earlier or a bleeding heart later? They certainly didn't ask for any sympathy and it definitely wasn't a hand out. They worked hard. They did a good job. Fair pay for fair work. (I sound like a union!)

What I'm getting at is that it felt good to pay them because I felt like it helped them. It must be hard to come to a new country as an adult and make a living without speaking the language. Although there were many frustrations, I'm glad I hired them. Even with their frequent smoke breaks and the heated exchange about white baseboards in my foyer (they didn't do them at first because they thought it would be ugly. Um...are they Martha Stewart in disguise???), I'd say overall, I'm happy with their work.

Later that day, I was the recipient of several hand-ups myself. One of Jay's friends from his residency called and asked if I would mind if he came over to edge my lawn. He was post-call and wanted to be outside (a very common effect from spending so many hours in dark rooms) but it's not like we are close friends. But he's a nice guy and Jay had asked if he had an edger he could borrow and I suppose he felt like helping us out. At first, he tried using his weed whacker but our grow-out was a bit more advanced, so he manually edged it all with a hoe. I was touched. Kindness matters.

Jen and Christopher once again helped check some things off my list. Even on their vacation. I really love those guys.

Today, I watched my neighbors girls for several hours because her sister's car wouldn't start and she had a hair appointment. Not really my cup of hot chocolate on conference Saturday but she's a friend and a freak about her hair. I knew her hair appointment was a big deal and it's gotta be hard to schedule things like that when you are a single mother. Later this afternoon, her boyfriend fixed our shared fence and a couple of spots of other sides of our fence. How nice.

Whatever all this goodwill is called, it really makes the world go 'round.

Book Review #42 - Voyager

I am so glad this series continues. Even though my arm gets tired from holding the sheer mass of these books (this one was 890 pages), I am eagerly looking forward to the next book.

Diana Gabaldon struck gold with the idea of a time-crossed super couple. The first chunk of this book, Claire was in her comfotable, but lonely,20th century, raising her and Jaime's daughter, when she decides to finally find out how Jaime died (it was too painful when she returned through the stones twenty years earlier to save their child and escape the Scottish slaughter at Culloden). These first hundred pages were well written, but luckily, Gabaldon realized that she needs these two together for the magic to be there. When Claire left all of her conveniences again, this time by choice, and finds Jamie in his printshop and says, "Jaime. . .it's me, Claire.", I got that warm-heart-all-a-flutter feeling. I think I may have even teared up. I'm not proud of it.

In Voyager, Jaime and Claire leave Scotland when trouble brews for Jaime and all of his aliases (he's become a smuggler, printer and seditionist now that his soldiering days are over), and travel to the Caribbean in pursuit of a kidnapped nephew. The history of slave trading, European colonial rule and sea travel are all richly detailed.

Unfortunately, I still cannot simply give a full stamp of approval to Gabaldon. She is a great writer and the historical detail and storyline are independently worthy of praise. But, in my opinion, she keeps these books from being truly great by including all the "ample bosom"isms. I don't know if there was a quota for the number of times she had to mention nipples but if there was. . .she met it.

That being said, I still loved it. It's a perfect mix of escapism and page-turning plot that truly makes reading fun.

Yes, I am still reading English Creek. Apparently, Ivan Doig just doesn't write the word "nipple" enough.

New Day/New Perspective

Nothing like a night's sleep to give a girl some perspective. Afterall, it's just paint and money, right? Really nothing that should cause such wailing and weeping. I'm O.K.

Blogging is great, free therapy for me. Just a few words of affirmation from a few of you, plus some needed sister phone calls and instant messaging and I'm good as new! Oh yeah...don't forget the chocolate. Yikes.

My realtor came this morning and did the walk through. It was unbelievably rewarding to have some validation that all this effort is worth it. I lost count of how many times she said, "you are doing all the right things." She loves the carpet and the railing and the paint and bathroom. Best of all, the first thing she noticed was the floor. She said our laminate flooring was the best she had seen in a long time. Since that was project numero uno and the one that started it all, it felt nice that she noticed it.

So, hope is restored. . .eyes are dried. . .spring break trip is cancelled but I've come to terms with that too.

The Russians are still here today. Awkward, but it's starting to look good! Jen and Christopher are coming tonight to see Aida but Donna and Ryan weren't able to come,so we get to go out too! I've never seen it and I'm looking forward to hearing some new music.

The Horrors of Home Repair

Nothing quite says "dignity" or "poise" like breaking down in front of a Russian in your bathroom while talking about drywall.

Curious?

This getting-ready-to-put-house-on-the-market business is gruelling. A few weeks ago, the topic at our financial peace class was on buying and selling a home. Jay and I both realized that we really needed to go ahead and do some simple fixes to our home that would make it more attractive to potential buyers. Namely, replace the carpet in our family room that had a perfectly shaped iron melted out of it (hazards of matching t-shirts for family reunions), and replace the bathtub in our master bath because the jets were broken and we discovered that when the water level was above the jets, the bathtub leaked and was damaging the two-by-fours and drywall on both sides of the tub.

In a previous blog, I mentioned how I got a bid for the drywall repair and finish work from some Russians. That was before we decided to replace the tub. A guy in our ward is a plumber and when the Russians came to look at the drywall and found moisture, they suggested I call a plumber to discover the source of water. The plumber is the one who educated me about my bathtub leak and Jay and I, in good faith, decided to replace it.

Well, you can't have a burgundy toilet when you don't have a burgundy bathtub so we got a new toilet too. And when they took out the bathtub, they had to rip out all the sheet rock behind the tub as well. Now, I was looking at hiring a sheet rock guy to get the bathroom to the point where I could call the Russians again to come and paint the bathroom and do the finish work in the living room.

Still with me?

Now, no project in my house ever manages to be on time and on budget and the bathtub and toilet were no exception. The plumber needed to go rent a jackhammer at one point (something about the pipe sticking out of the drain) along with several other parts and by the time he had finished had spent several extra hours on the job and extra money for parts so I ended up paying about $150 more than the original bid.

Then, out of the blue, the dad of the plumber (who had helped his son with the installation) calls me and tells me he wants to do my sheet rock for free! He gave me his reasons and it seemed genuine and nice, not to mention a huge blessling for us, so I gratefully accepted and he told me what he needed. I wrote it all down and sent Jay to Lowe's for the supplies.

Of course, when he showed up he needed some more stuff. I don't know why these people think that I know what they are talking about. I wanted to cover my ears and start singing "la-la-la-la-la-la" but instead wrote it all down and went to Lowe's myself for the extras.

Free or not, it's annoying having somebody in your house all day. I felt awkward and it took a long time and I knew I should be grateful but it was dusty and dirty and ruined my routine. It also took THREE different days for it to be complete with sanding and reapplying mud. But finally, I thought it was done and called the Russians.

I think I have their business figured out. The older, skilled laborers come to America but find work difficult because of the language barrier. The second generation, who undoubtedly find learning English easier, become the "business"men and do the bids and talk the talk but leave the work for the non-English-speaking laborers. That is what happened with the carpenters last October and it is certainly what has happened with the painting.

Bojan (the Russian bidder) came over on Friday and redid his original bid now that the drywall repair no longer needed to be done and I decided to add on all the finish work, including putting up all the new white baseboards. The bid went from $550 to $700 ($150 dollar difference - it seems to be the magic number) which I thought was fair, so I agreed and he told me his guys would be ready to go on Tuesday.

That day, I decided to just get all of our projects done (it IS crunch time) so I went to a couple of carpet places and found some inexpensive berber carpet. Carpet Barn was the cheapest so I bought it from them and they promised a Monday installation. I thought everything was falling into place so I scheduled my realtor to come on Wednesday for a walk through so that we would know what else she thought we should do before listing and we could have it on the market in early April.

Sunday night, Jay and I moved all of the furniture from the family room into our bedroom. We have the heaviest entertainment center in the world. There is no way we are taking it with us. It's one of those "put together" units and once together...with all of the particle board...it is simply too heavy to lift. So, we "walked" it back to our bedroom after all the other furniture was stuffed in and slept upstairs in our guest bed.

Monday, the carpet guys don't come until 4:00 pm! That's a long time to be without a computer or T.V. on a day when it's cold and gloomy outside. As I didn't know when they were coming, I couldn't really go anywhere either. Long, long day. Of course, it was also more expensive than the original bid. Patty, the saleswoman who sold me on this great deal, forgot to add in the cost of disposal or stair installation. When the guys showed up, they asked if we wanted them to rip up the carpet or if we wanted to do it ourselves. Um......(that'll be $1.00/yard) and when the room was finished and only the stairs remained asked us if we wanted them to do our stairs. That was another $40 dollars. Altogether, another unlucky $150 above budget.

Tuesday, the painters were supposed to come at 8:30. I took Sammy to preschool at 9:00 and rushed back home, not wanting to miss them. At 10:00, I left the first message to Bojan saying that the painters had not arrived but I had an appointment to take my van in. But, I absolutely did not want the painters to show up and leave if I was not there. At 11:00, I returned home to find the painters still missing and no reply to my message. At 12:00, I realized I had forgotten Sammy at preschool (it gets out at 11:30) and left in haste once more to go pick him up as well as my "worst mother of the year" award. It's bright and shiny! Another call and message and more waiting. Three more times I called, each time more irate. Finally, at 5:00, Bojan returns my call and apologizes for my wasted day. He was out of town (or so he says) and the painters got stuck at a previous job. I received a promise for an 8:30 start time on Wednesday.

This morning, I rushed around trying to clean up what I could before the painters came and I became either a prisoner in my home locked to certain rooms or an expatriate exiled to McDonald's playland. But at 10:00, the painters still weren't at my house and I called and told Bojan to shove it. Actually, I said if they weren't at my home in a half hour then the deal was off. Of course, they showed up fifteen minutes later in their non-English-speaking blissful ignorance.

In that broken English way, one of the painters charaded to me that my bathroom drywall was a disaster. Almost everything about it was wrong. Cracks, wrong product, non-level surfaces...you name it and they felt they had to redo it to paint it. We both realized, however, that we needed a translator before any decisions were made so they went to work on the living room and left the bathroom alone. At around noon, Bojan the business man comes and the grimness of my bathroom situation becomes apparent. Either they can paint it as is and it will look awful or they can redo it for $300! They even made me feel better about having it done for free by telling me ( and I don't know how he knew this phrase in English....curious), "vell, you git vat you pay for." Thank you so much.

And now, we reach the scene in the bathroom. Me, sitting on top of the vanity, Bojan waiting for an answer from me if I want the painters to fix it or not, and the accumulation of all things overdue and overpriced crashing in a horrific pile-up. Bojan immediately started saying, "uh...don't cry!" but the tears were already coming down my face. This is when I hate being a woman. It's like I had no control! I was just so frustrated and tired of the position I feel like I am constantly in...making decisions about things I really don't know about or even care to know about.

So I did the only thing I could do in this situation. I ate A LOT of Easter candy.

And you thought physics wasn't funny

The second law of thermodynamics states that "The entropy of an isolated system not in equilibrium will tend to increase over time, approaching a maximum value at equilibrium." Simply, high levels of energy, heat, pressure (i.e. . .order) will always move towards lower levels of it's form (disorder) in nature over time.

Amber at SoggyCheerios posted this youtube link on her blog. But in case you don't make it there, you MUST watch this video!

This is my favorite example of the second law of entropy that I know! I try really hard to have a clean van (because it's easier to control than a house) but my van has a mind of its own and tries really hard to end up this way. Since 99% of us are in this mom boat, and the other 1% are married to us, I can't think of anyone who wouldn't enjoy this. Although it might leave Jenny and Jen feeling slightly ill:)

SPT - Spring Fever

the challenge for next week is to get outside!! when you see those first daffodils, hear those birds heading back north, don those capris for the first time, how do you feel? do you have that familiar allergy tickle in the back of your throat? do you dig in the dirt? do you throw open the windows and let in the light? do you grab your feather dusters and sweep away the last of the winter dust? how about those cobwebs that have been lingering in your head?!?

Of the four seasons, Spring is my least favorite (gasp!). But wait. . .that doesn't mean I hate little bunny rabbits, spring chicks and daffodils. I don't hate spring. Perhaps it's growing up in Montana, when spring truly doesn't start until late April or early May. It seems that the big day comes...the 20th or 21st of March, and there's nada, zilch, nothing to be excited about. It's still cold, and March seems like another month of winter (albeit there usually isn't snow anymore. Usually.)

My favorite thing about seasons is the welcome change each one brings to me. Fall is my favorite because the change happens at the beginning of the season. There is nothing better than the slight cooling after a long, hot summer, the leaves changing colors and the return of school and football. My next favorite is Winter because it brings out the cozy. Cocoa and mittens, fires and down blankets. But after a couple of months, winter gets too long. Especially come February.

So when Spring "comes", I almost feel tricked. It's not spring yet. Spring is when you don't need a coat anymore. Spring is when you get in your car and it's already warm. Spring is when the air is literally sweet with blossoming trees and flowers. Lilacs and tulips sprout up everywhere. I do love that part. But we haven't gotten to that part yet up here.

My absolute favorite thing about Spring is Easter. I love celebrating rebirth and renewal. And along those lines are pastel colors. Baby blue, butter yellow, seafoam green, soft pink...I think of babies and new dresses, unscuffed white shoes and robin egg candies that you can lick and smear on your lips. It is no accident that we celebrate the resurrection while being reminded of rebirth everywhere we turn.

It's gloomy and rainy today. I went looking for a pastel shirt to wear for my self-portrait and do not own a single one. Question...do we actually have to be in the picture? Not wanting to break any rules, I snapped a shot in front of the only thing growing yet in my yard.

Next question...do we always have to take our own picture? I guess "self" portrait would imply that we do. But they are always such nasty, wall-eye, big faced things.

These are my lovely flowering bushes in front of my living room windows. We pruned them last fall but they grow and grow each year until they spill out over the walkway. Eventually, in the summer, yellow buds decorate the green foliage (attracting lots of bees).

How Embarrassing

Due to the illnesses, repairmen going in and out of my house all week, and poor planning, I hadn't done any grocery shopping in almost two weeks. With Jay's non-gluten demands, dinner has been tricky all week. More than that, I had completely run out of breakfast staples. No oatmeal, no cold cereal, no syrup or eggs or fruit or muffins. We were down to the bare bones. Last night, I promised Seth and Sam that we could go on a donut run in the morning and then I was planning on doing a full grocery shop later today.

The boys woke up familiarly starving. They can hardly wait ten minutes from bounding out of bed until something is on their tongues. While they were cuddling with Jay, his cell phone rang and I went searching for it. It was one of his attendings wanting Jay to go on a run with him. They were planning on meeting in 15 minutes so I rescheduled and decided to go grocery shopping right after breakfast. With Jay leaving, I needed to take the boys with me and I justified the drive out to the Krispy Kreme as it is close to Walmart.

We rarely have donuts for breakfast. I worked at a grocery store bakery in high school and still don't LOVE donuts (it's called overkill:). But I like Krispy Kreme's Original Glaze and the boys love watching them get made so Krispy Kreme it was. We arrived and watched the donuts come off the complicated contraption and the boys were thrilled with the offer of a "free" hot donut. I accepted one myself and before long, the three boys and I were seated at a booth stuffing ourselves with gooey deliciousness.

In walks little size two blondie in her workout wear (really too nice to actually have worked out in and looking way too done up to have recently sweated) and says (loudly), "It just smells fat in here!"

Did I mention that I left the house in a hurry with my crying, starving boys? And that all I had done was twist my hair into a clip (which it is really too short for now) and put some under eye concealer on? The decision to get lots of bangs hasn't been one of my best moves as it is rare that they look good. This morning was no exception. They actually looked like someone had taken a balloon and rubbed it into my hair. Kind of curly but more just sticking out. Let's just say I wasn't feeling like or looking like a babe. I don't know why I don't have a little more pride in my appearance sometimes but it's either because I'm so confident that I don't care or so pathetic that I don't even try. I'm gonna say it's just confidence. Who needs to be all dolled up for donuts and Walmart?

Back to itty bitty blondie, the same friendly worker asked her if she'd like a fresh, hot donut to which she replied (again loudly but this time with even more disdain in her voice), "NO!" and then in a lighter tone, "oh . . . I guess I should say no, thank you" but I felt like she wanted to make the point (to everyone within earshot) that she didn't look the way she did by eating Krispy Kreme Donuts. She proceeded to order donuts that she would obviously not consume and I self-consciously wiped the glaze off my cheek. Nothing like a skinny chick in a fatty establishment to ruin all the good fun. Doesn't she know there is a drive-thru where she wouldn't have to mingle with our kind?

After our donut stop, we drove to Walmart. Grocery shopping on a Saturday is not fun. Grocery shopping with three boys at Walmart on a Saturday is pretty much hell on earth. I put the boys to work, picking out the fruits and vegetables and we filled our cart with good things. Considering we had just consumed several hundred calories (how far up does "several" go . . . 6? 7? 8?) we chose a lot of nutritious fruit and veggies to snack on during the week and to make food that Jay can eat.

Usually when I shop, I just get whatever is cheapest. But now I have to read every label and find the brand that is gluten-free which is rarely the cheapest. No walmart brand anything. Not even frozen vegetables as they are all assembled in a place that processes wheat (hello....veggies! What kind of factor does frozen peas AND wheat?) Aisle after aisle and the cart started to really fill up. I had a sneaky suspicion that it was perhaps too full but I had $200 dollars for groceries and I've never spent that much on food. Hoping for the best, I pulled up to check out #8 and started to unload my goods. At that moment, Henry managed to get his hands on one of the jars of baby food and threw it out of the cart...shattering it. Ugh.

The checkout lady gave me a look and picked up her black phone to call for a clean-up. I apologized several times without absolvent from her so I was already feeling out of sorts when I saw the total get uncomfortably close to my limit. I looked at the register and the amount of food left on the conveyer belt that had yet to be scanned and knew that I was overdraft. Buggers!

I'd turned into one of the reasons that I hate Walmart. I was gorging myself with their low, low prices and overshopped! I had more cash (in other categorized envelopes) in my car and sunk lower in the checker's esteem as I told her I didn't have enough to pay and needed to run out to my car. She rolled her eyes and put on her blinking light and I busted a move with Henry in my arms and Sam on my hand. I left Seth with the groceries and told him not to talk to anyone and ran.

The hair, so flimsily put up in the clip, fell completely out except for a little bit on top but my arms were full so I just had to leave it. I walked back into Walmart feeling the part. No make-up...bangs out to here and hair flying all over like I was drunk. My boys were in sweat pants and looked like rag-a-muffins with donut glaze and sprinkles all over their face and know that several people saw me and thought, "I hate Walmart. Where do these people come from?!"

Other than that, I've had a delightful Saturday. Seth scored three baskets at his basketball game. I bribed him with a quarter every time he rebounded or took a shot. The first quarter he played he did nothing and I thought my offer futile but he turned it on the second half. He was so pumped after the game. He told us his first shot was "nothing but net". That's my boy.

A Little Good

Does anyone else every have times when one particular child is especially beloved? That's my Sammy right now. He could stay four for forever. (Wow...that was a lot of "for"s!)

He's got the bug that Henry had. Thankfully, Henry is back to full capacity cuteness but Sammy has suffered in an altogether different way. He hasn't hardly cried and other than the heavy tread from couch to toilet...I haven't hardly known he's sick. I'm sure a lot of it is his age and ability to talk.

I think he had to go sit on the toilet about 25 times yesterday. Today, he woke up hungry and irritable so I gave him some toast which he threw up. He felt so bad about it. I was in the shower upstairs (yeah, yeah...still working on the bathroom) and when I turned the water off I heard him crying downstairs. I hustled downstairs and he was standing next to the toilet with throw up all over the seat, the floor and his pajamas.

I told him he was such a big boy for trying to get to the toilet and he just kept saying sorry about the mess with big crocodile tears in his eyes. Even his glasses fogged up. As soon as I got him and the toilet all cleaned up, he was totally back to normal. I asked him how he felt and he responded,

"A little good"


I love his expressions. So much more positive than "Not bad" or "kind of sick". It's probably just his limited vocabulary but it endeared him to me.

My day has been a little good too.

Book Review #41 - Any Human Heart

A few weeks ago, while Jay and I were watching the HBO series "Extras" on DVD, Kate Winslet was a guest star and playing herself as an obnoxious, Oscar seeking actress who only chooses roles based on whether or not they might get her an Oscar.

For instance, the movie the cast was working on was a WWII/Holocaust movie and there was a conversation about what a great film it was. She responded that the only reason she was doing it was because actors that act in movies about the holocaust get oscar nominations. That and acting the part of someone with mental illness or a handicap. Callous...but maybe true?

So, if an actor is so believable acting as someone with a handicap, but the movie is awful, does it count? Does the great acting matter more than the bad movie? I couldn't help but feel like this writer was going for some kind of literary award rather than writing a good book. He writes in the style of a journal entry and all of the reviews that I read that raved included how "spot on" his writing is. How convincing it is that the reader actually forgets that it is fiction.

The title comes from Henry James's quote... Never say you know the last word about any human heart. I love the quote and the idea even better, but William Boyd provides no justice for James with this novel.

The "subject" is an English man who, throughout his life (early 1900s to about 1980) and "work" (he never really did...just sort of floated to whatever happened to fall into his lap) and chance, he meets interesting historical people like Picasso, Hemingway, Virginia Wolff, James Joyce the Duke and Duchess of Windsor, Jackson Pollack etc. But, he doesn't actually possess any talent and also seems to serve little purpose. I hate calling any life pathetic but his actually was. He drifted from spot to spot, having affairs and doing all sorts of tawdry things and never, ever did anything meaningful in his life. He's my worst nightmare.

I always like to think that within every man, there is enormous potential. I also like to think that if you get to know anyone well enough, you will eventually like him/her. You just have to know their heart (ahhhh....the author and I think alike....but he manages to prove me wrong!) He had every opportunity...and he did nothing. The absolute bare minimum and got away with it. He saved nothing, provided nothing, inspired no one. Waste of space.

It sounds harsh but HE WASN'T A REAL PERSON! I suppose it would be even sadder if he was and I've no doubt that there are many people who spend their lifetimes to this end, but I don't need to read about it. This was a waste of my time. At almost 500 pages, I need more than just a believable journal. If I'm going to learn about someone's heart, I'd like to see some substance and I need it to matter. I do not recommend this at all.

Eleven Days

Conventional wisdom claims it takes six weeks to develop a new habit. I beg to differ.

Yesterday, I had my annual exam with my OB/GYN. As I situated myself on the table in my paper robe and paper towel, using every inch to tuck under my legs and back so that my modesty bases were covered, I looked down (actually, it was more of a feeling) at my legs. There it was....stubble.

I don't think it's necessary to impress my doctor in any way (does anyone else remember that funny story about a glittery washcloth?) but it just seems polite to have smooth legs. But, after going eleven days, it seems that I have developed a new habit. And it's not a good one.

SPT - Lucky Charm

this week's challenge is to show us a lucky charm. perhaps it is a piece of jewelry? or a talisman you carry in your pocket? do you have something on your desk or in your home that brings you good fortune? is it a baseball hat or a smelly old t-shirt? did someone give it to you? why is it meaningful to you? will you tell us about a time when it brought you good luck?


I am really trying to participate in this whole SPT idea but last week had the whole itchy rash thing and this week's theme is hard! I'm not sentimental in any way about inanimate objects or superstitious! But there is one thing that is constantly with me that has brought me many "good things".

I wanted to take a picture of my ring with it in focus and me blurry in the background but I'm not talented enough to do it. I tried many, many times.

I've always loved my ring. Jay did good.

Probably not what Lelly had in mind but it's my constant reminder that I am blessed and loved by someone. And that is incredibly lucky.

General Hospital Recap

Henry wakes up from his nap in time to pick up Jay at the airport cranky and stinky. Seems the purging has moved south. Lucy, mistakenly convinced that the vomiting has subsided, gives Henry a bottle of milk only to be thrown up on again. Flustered, Lucy cleans up and gets Sam, Henry and Seth into the truck to drive to the airport as it still has all of the car seats in it. Jay waits patiently and kisses his family hello as he hops into the truck.

Back at home, Lucy and Jay alternate trying to comfort a sick Henry. Henry accepts grape pedialyte but can only have it in two ounce doses in an attempt to avoid more vomiting. Seth and Sam vie for attention and start negotiating for an afternoon game of “Bump” which is a lot like Lightning (basketball game). Lucy get’s tricked into saying “uh-huh” due to his consistent chatter.

Jay informs Lucy he needs to go to the VA sometime that day to read the weekend films and Lucy decides he should go earlier than later. As he gets ready to leave, Lucy’s friend from high school, Kari,who is in town visiting calls and asks to come over for a quick visit. Jay changes his plans and as Jay is not going to the VA until later, Lucy sneaks over to the church for choir practice. Henry takes a much needed nap and Seth and Sam continue to play outside.

Lucy returns home and is reminded of her “Bump” commitment. She wakes Jay up from his nap to join in the fun.

Kari and her husband, Russ, arrive at 5:00 and Jay and Lucy enjoy visiting with them. Henry wakes up and cries the entire time Kari and Russ are there. Lucy and Jay start to wonder if something might be wrong (more wrong than just a stomach bug). After an hour, Kari and Russ have had enough of an inconsolable 14-month old and gracefully excuse themselves. Lucy fixes tacos for dinner while Jay holds a crying Henry and Lucy tells Jay to put Henry back to bed. Henry refuses to fall asleep in his crib, however, so Lucy scarfs her food down and holds him while Seth, Sam and Jay finish their dinner.

Jay leaves for the VA and Lucy sits in the living room with her three kids. Henry finally falls asleep and Lucy reads some Shell Silverstein poetry with Sam and Seth. Jay comes home after the kids are in bed and he and Lucy watch The Amazing Race. They are both disappointed that Mirna/Shmirna win the leg and miss Rob and Amber.

Lucy wakes up at 6:30 to Henry crying. Henry is still very cranky and still throwing up. She calls the pediatrician's office at 8:00 and gets an appointment to bring Henry in at 10:30. Sam also has an eye appointment in the same building at 10:00 so Lucy calls Jay to see if he can arrange an hour off to help her. Henry falls asleep in Lucy’s arms after crying for an hour but he wakes up when Lucy puts him down to put some clothes on. Lucy decides a shower is out of the question and once again(like the 10th time in 12 days) puts her hair in a ponytail. Lucy wonders why she got that $90 cut and color a few weeks ago but knows that Henry doesn’t care if her hair is matted and greasy.

Lucy, Sam and Henry drive the minivan to the hospital and arrive at Sammy’s appointment only to discover the appointment is not scheduled until 10:55. Jay arrives and says he’ll stay with Sammy so Lucy can take Henry to his appointment. Lucy and Henry go down a floor to the pediatrician and luckily get in after a ten minute wait. Henry’s doctor is concerned about Henry as he has lost over a pound and a half since his 14-month well baby appointment last week. The doctor checks his ears and sees redness but doesn’t think it’s a full-blown ear infection. Lucy assures the doctor that Henry isn’t in day care, hasn’t been on a trip and none of Henry’s brothers are sick, much to the dismay of the doctor. The doctor is stymied but writes a prescription for an antibiotic and gives instructions for Lucy to go to the lab to get the necessary equipment to collect a stool sample. The doctor worries it might be Clostridium Difficile, E.Coli or perhaps Ghiardia. They doctor says that if he doesn’t start keeping something down, Henry will have to be hospitalized for IV hydration.

Sam manages to have his eye appointment early as well and when Lucy and Henry are done, so are Sam and Jay. They meet at the elevators and Jay tells Lucy the good news that Sam doesn’t have to wear his patch anymore. They all go to the pharmacy to drop off Henry’s prescription and then go to the cafeteria for a celebratory milkshake for Sam. Lucy decides to get one too and Jay longingly looks on at their gluteny dairy. Lucy gets Henry some red Gatorade as well and Sammy somehow manages a double treat and gets to have a blue Gatorade.

Lucy drives home listening to Henry cry while he repeatedly throws his red Gatorade filled bottle on the floor. After a few more attempts, Lucy asks Sammy if she can give Henry some of his blue stuff. Henry seems to appreciate the difference and guzzles down a few ounces and falls asleep. For now.

Eighteen Reasons To Smile Today

1. Every closet in my house is clean and organized.
   
2. It feels "springish" and my kids are enjoying the backyard.
3. I'm pasty and pale once more. Thank goodness.
   
   
4. Henry hasn't thown up in the last twelve hours.
5. Even though I'm not at church, it's still the Sabbath and I can rest.
6. Kindness, generosity of spirit and goodwill are found in abundance from my friends and family.
   
7. Even without Rob and Amber, the Amazing Race rocks and will entertain me this evening.
8. There is a good woman in my ward who will happily substitute for me at the organ. Even at the last minute.
9. I feel a ray of hope that I will be able to complete my goals for March. Jen and I made a major dent this weekend and I felt the shift in inertia.
   
   
   
10. From the upstairs shower (which I used because the master bath shower doesn't have a door or curtain yet) I can watch my kids play in the backyard. What a view!
11. I'm neck and neck with Jay in our NCAA brackets.
12. I shaved my legs for the first time in 11 days!
    
    
13. Jay gets home today
14. #12 and #13 are symbiotic.
    
15. I'm really looking forward to the next month. I've got two trips planned, General Conference and Easter, which I love.
16. I have something to cook for dinner tonight. And it's gluten free.
17. Even though the new bathtub and toilet installation cost more than we planned, we still had the cash to pay for it. This cash budget really works for us.
18. I've finally had some time to catch up on blogs and felt an old flame rekindled. I really love blogging.
    

One Of These Things Is Not Like The Others

What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you think of a Dodge V-8 truck, 500 pounds of sheet rock, scraps of wood, an old bathtub, a toilet and lots and lots of garbage?

Why....two moms, and four kids enjoying a spring day, of course.

No? We thought something was off too when we talked to both of our husbands on the phone and one was at the zoo and the other was about to go to a winery in Napa Valley for a $138 dollar dinner (that water bill tab sure adds up fast!) while we were waiting in line with about 30 other large, manly vehicles to dump our day's worth of work off.

The dump closes at 4:30 and we pulled up to the scale at 4:18. The scene was quite hopping and we wondered if any of these other trucks in the cue line also had three car seats in them.

Probably not.

In any case, it's major therapy to throw a burgundy bathtub and matching toilet off the back of a truck along with five years worth of junk (well....not quite. We also made a dump run yesterday though not nearly as massive) and drive away, garbage free, in less than ten minutes.

Although, next time...I think I'll sign up for the fancy dinner.

Jen getting the tarp off our load of crap (and that's not being vulgar).

Seth took this picture while inside the truck. It makes me laugh to see my expression when I'm using my manly strength!)

All done and swept out. Buh-bye to the burgundy!

Thanks Jen! No one gets it done quite like you!

If you chance to meet a frown....

I've been singing this to myself all day. I really want to get out of this bad mood. I think mostly I'm tired. Two nights ago, I took two tablets of Benedryl, a unisom and some Tylenol hoping to just conk out and sleep away my itch. The exact opposite happened. I felt like I had restless leg syndrome and if I wasn't twitching my toes or changing positions every minute, I'd feel all weird and tingly. It was a completely sleepless night. Not even an hour.

May cause drowsiness. Unfortunately....not in my case. I think Benedryl has the opposite effect on me. It can cause hyper activity in a small percentage of the population and.... yay for me.... I seem to be one of them. When the Benedryl finally went through my system, I felt really tired and fell asleep after getting Seth off to school and Henry down for a morning nap and slept until 12:30. Slightly more refreshed, I trudged and scratched through day two of being the big red blob. My rash looks better but feels just as itchy. Jay had to work late so the kids and I had gluten laden Wendy's for dinner.

I took a Unisom at 8:00 pm hoping to fall asleep early. Jay put in Pirates of the Caribbean which he hadn't seen but I had and all I wanted was to fall asleep on the couch during the movie and then drowsily mosey to bed when it was over. But when the movie was over at 10:30 and I still hadn't fallen asleep, the panic over having another night of insomnia set in. I tried counting backwards (my usual surefire method for falling asleep fast) but as soon as I would forget to count and think about something, I'd realize I wasn't counting and wake back up! I did drift off in the wee hours of the morning and drifted in and out but felt completely unsatisfied and not at all rested.

So, it's been hard to smile today. I have nothing specific to gripe about. I have been the recipient of a tremendous amount of help and friendship. I realize it and feel thankful. Really. I feel like a jerk even writing this. But I haven't been a bundle of positive vibes myself and haven't felt up to commenting on many blogs. Sorry. I'm trying.

Just No End To All Our Fun

It's been a long week for Jay. He's had to take care of me, the boys, the house and himself. In the middle of all of this are all of his mock boards to prepare him for his oral boards in June. He's had them at lunches almost every day last week and most days this week. They are intense and he likes to be able to study in the morning before them but hasn't been able to due to me. He's been rushing in, right at noon, to do his best cold turkey.

Yesterday, he received the worst news. The biopsy from his endoscopy showed some some sprew and the pathologist diagnosed it as possible celiac disease. He went and got his blood panel done to see if he had the antibodies against gluten and found out yesterday that he does. So, we are starting a whole new, gluten-free lifestyle.

I went to bed last night itchy. My incisions really itched but I knew I couldn't scratch them. I sort of scratched around them though. The night was horrible. I felt really sweaty but really cold and so unbelievably itchy. I scratched my chest, my back, my upper stomach, my neck and then would just feel cold and perturbed. At around 7:30, I finally hauled myself out of bed so that I could get the kids ready for school (Jay had gotten them breakfast and was about ready to leave) when I saw myself in the mirror. I have a major rash. Major. It's everywhere but my lower arms, hands, lower legs and feet. I feel O.K....other than the obvious itch. I have no idea what's going on, what I'm allergic to and why it would show up a week later if it was the antibiotics or pain pills I've been taking. I took a bunch of Benedryl, some Tylenol, a Xantac and am drinking lots of water. I'm going in to see the doctor at 3:00.

In the meantime, Jay has to totally rearrange his schedule to get Sam to preschool, Henry to his Dr. appointment, then drop Henry off at my visiting teacher's house so that he can get to the hospital by noon to take his interventional mock boards during lunch conference. Rebecca is, once again, picking Sammy up from preschool and I'm tired of needing help. Jay has to be exasperated by all of this. I feel like such a dead weight and I'm overly emotional today.

I can't scratch anything! I feel like I need a straitjacket! I'm going insane.

Just use your imagination to picture this ALL over my torso and back. I'm on fire.

Refinnej

Isn't she lovely at 17?

I like to do posts about my family on their birthdays but was caught in the hospital on Jen's (the 8th of March) and am several days late. But I hope I'm not a dollar short:)

Jen is my closest sibling, age-wise. She is seventeen months older than I am and we were only one year apart in school. That led to some pretty intense sibling rivalry growing up. In fact, I would say it wasn't until Jen left for college that we let the feuds die and realized how good of friends we were. Since then....we're thick as thieves.

I can remember some fights that were real doozies (but only one resulted in a black eye!). She, being organized and a good caretaker of her things, and I being somewhat sloppy and irresponsible, would have me sign contracts to borrow her clothes. They had to be returned in a timely order, hung up, without stains or I would incur a fine. Always thinking ahead...that's my Jen. I don't know how she put up with me, really.

We had to share a room for a large portion of our lives and she liked to have her penguin collection, her pencil collection, her eraser collection, her donald duck collection, and all of her priceless treasures just so. They were immaculate and perfect. I envied her. It was she who inspired my attempt at picking a raccoon for my favorite animal. She had this penguin thing going and it was her thing. Admittedly, she got a lot of penguin things for her birthday but I was jealous that she knew who she was right away. She liked Navy. She wore lots and lots of navy. And she always had the best clothes. Which led to the contracts I had to sign.

Here are some of my favorite things about one of my favorite people in the world.

• She's super smart. Her valedictorian speech at high school graduation started with, "Longfellow once said...." I can't remember the rest.
• She's a loyal friend. There are few truer ones out there.
• She's organized and willing to help me out in that area.
• She's not afraid to call a spade a spade. If she thinks you're full of it....she'll probably tell you.
• She's the biggest U2 fan I know.
  
• She's a master at the X96 dance.
• She's a hard worker.
  
• She makes no apologizes for being a picky eater. She likes what she likes!
• She tries very hard to live a Christ-like life.
• She's always willing to go on a soda run.
• She's a great hostess.
• She's got the eye for great deals and is fun to shop with.
• She doesn't follow the crowd - never wanted to get her ears pierced and has never done it.
• She always makes me feel good about who I am...even though I'm different than her.
• She always makes an effort to be close. It really doesn't matter where I end up because I know Jen will come and visit!
• She has good advise. She got her masters in Marriage and Family Therapy and I trust her insight.

The pictures will tell some more stories. I realize most of them have me in them. That's because that's all I have. Jen, again...being organized and detail oriented....has her scrapbooks all done with all of the pictures of her. These - I found in one of my many shoeboxes.

An early Christmas. I love her smile!

Notice Jen's shirt......

....and again a few years later! I still get her hand me downs (when I'm lucky enough!)

Sharing a story with Dad at our Grandma's house in Utah.

I really remember this day. We wanted to get cute pictures of ourselves with props.

My mom usually made us "matching" dresses for Christmas and Easter.

Taunting me with my new sweetheart barbie.

Jen's low maintenance but she used to really like curl in her hair. Here's a temporary solution....

....and here's one of her more "perm"enant ones. She cried and cried.

Helping me out on my 15th birthday

One of the few pieces of clothing I remember her borrowing when we were both in high school...the white shorts!?!

Jen home for Christmas break during her freshman year of college.

The debut of "Little Drummer Boy". We've sung it together many times since.

A former devout Diet Coke drinker. She used to avoid restaurants if they didn't serve Diet Coke. But she's more versatile now.

Viva Mexico!

Jen visiting me the summer I live in Arizona with Diane.

Jen's apartment at the Glenwood. I loved being atcollege with three of my siblings!
(also...I think vests must have been in)

Jen and her roommate trying to cheer me up in my dumpy allred apartment.

Both of us home from college for Christmas break.

Jen celebrated my 21st birthday with me. Christopher was on his mission, and she was in grad school in Logan.

camping at Glacier with Jay and I (she was a great chaperon!)

Our glorious hike up to Grinnell Glacier

Horseback riding on Lythgoe's horses.

We were roommates for one semester at BYU and lived in a basement apartment on Cherry street. This is literally the only picture I have of that time. We hated that apartment.

married to our best friends. There is no better match for Jen than Christopher.

Jen truly loves my kids....and they love her.

She's my T-Tappin buddy! This is at our first workshop in Seattle with Lani.

Jen's house. Knowing her and Christopher, it'll just keep getting cuter and cuter. They are masters at the projects.

Isn't she adorable pregnant? Six months!


Happy (late) Birthday Jen! I love you!

Book Review #40 - Traveling Mercies

Can you tell what I've been doing? This is the selected book group book and I read it a bit unwillingly. I have about four more books on my nightstand that I would have chosen to read instead, but with book group tomorrow and me on the mend, I wanted to be able to participate.

Parts of this book I hated, parts of it I loved. It is written by Anne Lamott, a dread-lock sporting, liberal, single-mother, recovering drug addict Christian. I think if we were in the same room, she would hate me and I would drive her crazy. We have very little in common life-wise, belief-wise, socially-wise and morally-wise. She seems kind of loud and full of herself and one prone to drama. But in the privacy of her novel, she reveals herself as she is, warts and all, and I find that I like her. I really like her humor and her writing. She is laugh out loud funny at times and her ability to find meaning in the humdrum of her life and translate them into inspirational stories is a gift.


This book reminds me of a well-written blog. If you're into that kind of thing, check this book out.:)

Book Review #39 - Dragonfly In Amber

The second book in Diana Gabaldon's Outlander series, I enjoyed this book immensely. It's true...the series is addicting. At 743 pages, I finished wanting more and immediately reserved the next book at the library.

It doesn't have all of the Jaimie/Claire drama that the first one did. In fact, it almost felt like a "building up to" book. Not that it was boring. I learned a lot about the Scotland uprising and the tangled web between countries and royalty. It is good historical fiction. There is still the love/drama/intrigue novel that makes it fun to read but I can honestly say that I learned about a part of history that I know very little about in an interesting way.

I'm no longer a critic. I'm jumpin' on the fan bandwagon.

Book Review #38 - Whose Names Are Unknown

Written at the same time of Grapes of Wrath about the same subject matter, Sanora Babb's book did not get published until a few years ago. The supposed reason was that humanity just couldn't handle another sad story about the sorry luck of the Midwest farmers during the dust bowl and depression of the 30s.

I learned many things that I didn't know that much about the depression. Very similar to the earlier Homestead Act, the government gave buffalo grazing land in the midwest, 320 acres, to anyone who would live on it, build a house on it and farm it. The drought-like conditions and its wind, in addition to all of the plowing, produced the life-sucking dust that ruined most of the area's farmers. I had always thought it was a freaky natural disaster and hadn't considered the man-made contribution. The loss of opportunity, loss of land, loss of trade, loss of collateral produced the desperate "okies" that migrated west looking for work. Another black mark on our own country's history, these "okies" were segregated out of the schools, the community and forced to work for pennies a day.

The most frustrating thing to me while I read this is that these people had no other options. They had to farm or do manual labor. Yes, the were oppressed. They were treated unfairly during a horrible time. Yet,some of these unlucky farmers could see the bigger picture. With that big picture in mind, they forced their children to go to school (where they were treated horribly for being dirty - because they had no place to get clean) so that they would have better options than they themselves had. Their children, however, recognized the struggle of their parents...how much their labor helped secure food and money and hated going to schools where they were despised and mocked.

You'd think this was all lose/lose, but the author showed how in the midst of all these struggles, that common decency, hope, love, genuine kindness still existed. It's hard to believe that this happened in our own country less than a hundred years ago.

If you can't tackle Grapes of Wrath (even if you can and have) this is worth your time.