The Cell of Our Circumstance

Endurance is more than pacing up and down within the cell of our circumstance; it is not only acceptance of the things allotted to us, it is to “act for ourselves” by magnifying what is allotted to us.
(Neil A. Maxwell May, 1990)

I have had an incredible Sunday. My head is pounding and I feel a little lethargic and it's fantastic!

Jay has his oral boards approaching in two and a half weeks. I have never seen him so intense with his studying or nervous about an exam since I've known him. And I've seen him take A LOT of exams. This is the last one. The last hoorah. The big kahuna. The exam covers eleven different subsets of radiology ranging from neuro (head and spine) to mammography. It takes place in a hotel in Kentucky and he will have 25 minutes in each of the eleven rooms to finish as many cases as he can. The more cases he does, the better the chance of evening out his score if he totally blows a case. Depending on how well he does, he will score between a 72 (the highest) and a 68 (the lowest). He has to average a 70 overall in each subset to pass. After his 25 minutes are up, he stops, goes to the next room, completely switches mental gears and begins again.

If he fails, he has to wait an entire year to retake them (he won't fail though. My guy is a smartypants.) But the thought of the possibility, the pressure...it gets to him sometimes. I've been lying low, taking the boys away to let him have a quiet house and guilt free time for studying. Life is going to seem so carefree when this heavy cloud passes.

BUT...something really cool happened today. A couple of weeks ago, my sister in law, Molly, called me and told me that she had been thinking about us and all of our stress coming up and wanted to let us know that she and her family would be fasting for us on the 20th (today). I'm not sure I've ever been fasted for. Truthfully, I was really touched. I thanked her for her love and told Jay later on that evening. He immediately asked if I had been talking about his stress or mentioning it on my blog and I reassured him that this wasn't because of me. He thought about it and agreed that it was really cool that Molly would feel so inspired and we went about our business for the last couple of weeks.

Jay and I joined the fast today and the sacrament meeting talks couldn't have been more appropriate. We had a returned missionary talk about his struggles in Japan and how the savior blessed and comforted him...helping him LEARN the language and be able to do all that he was there to do. Next, our Stake President spoke about endurance. He shared the above quote and the reason for our fast was made clear to me. There have been about a thousand times today that I have wanted to eat. My head ache is getting worse by the minute. But, I haven't sat around and wished for food. Each time I've felt hungry, I've thought about how I could eat or just veg. But instead of doing either (the pacing back and forth), I could do something entirely different (act for myself). I've written some letters, read my scriptures, cooked a really, really yummy smelling dinner that I am about to eat, and pondered about many things. I feel a little joyful and confident that the next few weeks will be good ones for us. Jay has worked so, unbelievably hard these last five years and this test will be a stepping stone for him to put to practice all the knowledge he has gained. And I know that I will be blessed for my efforts; not only in helping him, but for my own work too.

It's a powerful thing. I hope I can magnify the many great things that have been allotted to me. I'm glad for the chance to practice today.