Rhyme Thyme

Somebody called me fat yesterday.

At least, I think somebody called me fat yesterday.

I keep trying to reconstruct the sentence into any other possibility, because...well...I just might have heard wrong.  I'd like to think so, anyways. 

Here's what happened according to my not always reliable memory:

A group of us were at a restaurant after watching New Moon at the theater.  Due to the size of the group, we were split into several tables and one of the women sitting at my table was someone I did not know.  We spent the evening enjoying some comfortable banter, mixing the conversation with jokes and the more serious topic of home decorating.  At one point, one of my friends joked that her secret mission was to have Person X become best friends with Person Y.  She followed her happy declaration by telling the woman I had just met sitting next to me something like, "I'll let you know you your best friend should be too." She replied, I think, "I need a fat friend."  And then she pointed at me.

I think.

But, maybe she said flat friend.

Or....cat friend.

But, then she said it again.  And followed it with, "Someone who will make lots of desserts."  Accompanied with another finger stab in my direction.  Mind you, she said this while eating a dressing-less/crouton-less salad. 

Or maybe not.

It happened fast and definitely wasn't the kind of scene where a pin drop could be heard.  Honestly, no one reacted.  No one looked uncomfortable on my behalf and the woman didn't act like she had said something rude or embarrassing.

So, maybe she didn't say it.

She could have said a black friend.  But I'm not sure what that has to do with desserts.

Craft friend?   Some people craft with food, don't they? 

Vat friend?  Referring, possibly, to someone who has a job at the local chocolate factory?  All legitimate possibilities that aren't explained with the accompanying pointing towards me as I'm neither crafty nor do I have access to chocolate vat.

I suppose I could solve the mystery by inviting her over for cake, but, I don't bake.  My fatness comes from a complex mixture of hormones, bad genes, pregnancy weight, years of bad habits and eating desserts I did not make.

So...she got that wrong.

Or not.

Maybe she said phat friend.

That's probably it.

Family Pictures 2009

A month ago, we met an out-of-town photographer up at the local ski resort for a family photo session. The session was the most fun I have ever had taking pictures. It's a husband and wife team and they were goofy and funny and encouraging and never, ever demanding. I figured because we were having so much fun, that the pictures would turn out perfectly.

Well...I don't think they did. Those things that photographers usually tell you to do, like "straighten your head" or "put your hands down" might have helped me love some certain photos better. In each one, there seems to be someone or something out of place. Like, towards the later part of the session, my bangs look horrible! I wished someone would have said, "Did you want your bangs to be split down the middle like that or were you wanting all of them to go straight down?" Because, my favorite picture is tainted by my split bangs. I want to love it because my kids are cute, and my husband is cute and we look happy and snug. But. Those bangs! I just want to get out a comb!

It's also hard to do all the communicating via email. The package came with a 16X20 which is, by far, the largest pictures I have ever had of us. I thought I had made a good decision - choosing a vertical shot because I thought it would look better in a large frame and choosing one that captured the best of most, and not just the best of me.

Well, what I thought were squinty eyes due to smiling on a proof on the computer turned out to be the start of a blink in a 16X20! I will just have to be content that it was the best shot of everyone else. Man, it's like I'm all consumed by me, or something:)

So, here they are. Expect something similar to be coming your way in the next month or so by way of Christmas cards. Act surprised and delighted.

Enjoy, Mom!



What I wished I would have chosen for our 16X20.

What I chose. Click on it. You'll see my squinty/crazy eyes.

Love this picture. I'd have blown this one up had Henry's face been showing.

I would have liked a more close-up of Seth, but this is so totally him right now that I love this shot.

I can't believe this is the best shot of Henry she got. He's really photogenic. I was expecting more.

She got some great ones of Jay and Henry, which is kind of funny since Henry is a total mama's boy. Still...adorable.

Loved the rock shots. Wish Sam's head wasn't resting on Jay like that.

Probably my favorite picture of the bunch.

The best picture with the worst bangs.

What is actually happening in this photo:

Jay - "I think these kinds of pictures always turn out cheesy."

Me - "Humor me. Look in love."

I guess perfect pictures are appropriate for perfect families. These are exactly us.

Lucy! You've got some 'plainin' to do!

I am agog and aghast (just listened to the Les Mis CD) that I left a Halloween post on top of the pile for a week. I am a firm defender of the Halloween-gets-one-day-of-my-life camp (o.k...so it got 3 but I refuse to relinquish the entire month of October to its macabre ways) and I certainly hope I didn't send mixed signals by not moving on sooner to the month that hosts the best holiday of the year - Thanksgiving.

I would have. Believe me. I wanted to.

Except.

I had the worst week ever.

Now, this could be a really long post. I'm not proud of it, but I can be exceptionally verbose when there are things to complain about. I'll try to be brief, but I got to get it out if I'm to survive this next week. Now on to the 'plainin'.

Monday - Tile guy begins what he calls a four day project. Tells me I'd probably have a better day if I weren't around because removing tile is a loud and dusty business. I agree and leave my house by 8:15 am with the goal of not returning until 5:00. Send out an open invitation for anyone to join me for lunch on facebook with no takers. Embarrassing, but Henry was glad for the social snafu because it meant Burger King playland for him. Boring day. I do not live in a town that enables a full-day of loafing. A full day of hiking, skiing, biking, rock climbing, rafting, jeeping? Yes. But you need skills, strength and equipment for all of that. A full day of hanging out without any particular place to go with a three year-old? No. We did our best with a trip to Wal-Mart, the mall, the park, the post office, the car wash, and, as mentioned above, Burger King.

Tuesday - Tile guy has more deconstructing to do and says we are free to stay in the basement part of the house, but there is a layer of dust EVERYWHERE and I don't know about you, but I'm not really at ease when there is just me, my son, and another man in the house. We got in the van and drove an hour south where there is some real shopping (i.e. Target). Come back in time to pick up boys from school and...hang out in town until dinner time because we no longer have a functioning kitchen. Fridge, dishwasher, and stove are now hanging out in dining room. Tile project is behind because tile guy had to drive an hour south(hmmmm....we must have passed each other at some point) to find what he needed as it wasn't available locally. Jay is on call and came home from work feeling lousy so is extra grouchy about the mess and take-out. Good feeling that came from being in Target is quickly gone as I feel guilty about something that is not my fault (this happens a lot. I was sent an extra-sensitive son to help me understand how annoying it is, but it's a habit that is hard to shake).

Wednesday - Tile guy gets there early and says we can't be in the house at all that day because they are laying this tile sub floor that can't be stepped on. Jay is down for the count with the flu and actually calls in sick (like the second time EVER...in his life) and can't even stay in his own bed. He drives out to his parents to crash while I get the boys to school and pick up medicine for him. While I was waiting for the pharmacy to fill the Tamiflu prescription, I succumb to the lure of the Snuggie display nearby and think the cozy fleece might help with Jay's chills. Can't shake the shame that comes from supporting company that charges $20 for a cheap piece of fleece with circles cut out of it and sleeves sewn in. Believe me, the $20 is not for the product. It's to pay for all of those awful commercials. Decide that we'll all just sleep at Jay's folks place and return to the house to gather our things. Tile guy left a few strategically placed tiles down the hall as a trail to hop on, but is one shy to get to my bedroom. Have to scoot one down with my foot and literally leap into my bedroom. Yelled at Seth to come catch clothes as I threw them off the deck because I don't think I can manage the hop back down the hallway with luggage. Slept for about 2 hours total that night with Henry as a bedfellow. He seems to have restless leg syndrome or something. Plus, he fell out of bed twice.

Thursday - Leave early to get boys to school on time as the drive from his parent's house takes an extra twenty minutes. Go back to the house where tile guy says he is even more behind because blah, blah, blah, blah blah (literally can't remember. He started talking tile shop with me and I stopped caring ) but got the message loud and clear that...get ready...I should probably not be in the house today as he'd be starting to lay out tile and it'd be loud (with the cutting) and imperative that Henry not get near it (good luck with that!). So, we go back to his parent's house to clean up. I have a quarterly enrichment activity that involves the entire ward, not just the relief society, so spend the majority of the day prepping for that and making calls. Pick the boys up from school to discover that Sam has the flu. Get home and learn that tile guy has literally tiled us out of our bedrooms.

Breakdown Commences.

Mentally, emotionally and physically, I just can't figure out how to keep all the balls I have going in the air. Jay is on call, Sam is sick, I need to be at the church, we have no home, and I can't figure out how to print something I need without scaling the back deck, which is not something I want to do. I call my sister, Sarah, because I am seriously sobbing and she reasons with me. Much thanks to her, my sister-in-law, Patty, and the RS president for keeping me sane that night. It was a close call.

Friday - I get to leave the mess that is our life (sick kids, house in ruins, dispute with landlord,) with my sick husband for the weekend. They survive. But it's not pretty.

So, I didn't die. Obviously, nothing was MORE than I could bear (debatable) and I'm a little bit rested and definitely restored. The house is a disaster. Kids are still sick. I have....a tickle in my throat but am crossing my fingers. The floor in the hallway and kitchen is done, but not sealed and we still have no appliances or upstairs bathroom. Tile guy thinks it'll be Thursday before everything is finished (What?!?!?!)

Now...aren't you glad you got the condensed version??:)

P.S. We did get a free book light with the snuggie. So...that is something. Just counting my blessings, folks!