Book Review: Girl In Translation

Stories that chronicle the struggle of immigrants and their motivation to succeed fascinate me. I especially seem to be drawn to multi-generational stories and the cultural gap that inevitably separates the youth from their parents.

Kimberly Chang and her mother emigrate to the United Sates from China and live in squalor as they attempt to learn English, pay back debts to the family that paid for their move and find a way out of the factory work that enslave them. Kimberly's extraordinary gift for learning and working hard is their obvious ticket to a better life but when the added distraction of love and relationships blur her focus, Kimberly must choose the life path she really wants.

The book's ending is almost an epilogue as the reader is allowed access to the consequence of Kimberly's choices quite a ways into the future. While satisfying in that I knew what happened-ish, I almost wish I didn't. I enjoyed the pacing of the majority of the book when each of Kimberly's school years, from sixth grade to her applying to college, were roughly given the same amount of space and attention. Suddenly, I was thrust forward and felt disconnected from the character I had been following. I appreciate the author's desire to conclude that, oftentimes, success and loss go hand in hand, but, since I felt annoyed at the end of the book, I'm not sure it really worked. Still, a very readable book about the drive of an intriguing Chinese-American immigrant.

A Kindergarten Kutie

There's just something about Henry.  I don't know what it is.  He has a life force that goes beyond charisma.  He drives me crazy at the same time as making me laugh out loud.  He is the most loving little boy you'd ever meet and probably the sneakiest.  He enjoys life and already lives it, at five, to the fullest.  I love him.

And now he's off to Kindergarten.  It's quite anti-climatic to send your youngest off to school all day when they've been in a speech/head start all-day preschool, especially when that preschool's class is next door to the kindergarten classroom.  He walked into the school this morning acting like he owned the place - and sometimes I wonder if he does.  Everyone knows Henry.  Even this morning as we walked down the  near empty halls before the bell rang, forth, fifth grade teachers, moms of other students, the administrative assistant all call out, "Hi, Henry."  Last year, students in every grade would yell out, "High five, Henry!" and hold their hand out, waiting for this little ruler to respond.  Sometimes he did.  Sometimes he didn't.  Maybe that's what makes a charismatic person so alluring:  the uncertainty of reciprocated attention.

He didn't need me to linger at all.  He found his cubby and immediately started asking his teacher all the questions I didn't have the answers to.  Why did she need him to bring cotton balls?  Where is his seat?  Where does he put his lunch?  Why are there computers in the classroom?  I gave him a hug and left his teacher to discover the power that is Henry.

He was excited to take his morning photos.  It was an interesting process.



Showing off his new "big" teeth growing in.  All my children are cursed with small mouths and big teeth.




Stand up straight this time, Henry!



Henry calling out, "I love you, Mom!"



Sad face when I told him just to smile.



But, what's over there?  The sun?



Looking the right way.




Good luck, Henry!  You'll be the best kindergartener ever!

Second Day of School!

Sam started third grade yesterday. It was while I was dropping him off at school that I realized I had, once again, forgotten to take "first day of school" photos. I wish I were that mom who always thinks about these kinds of milestones but, most of the time, I'm not. Thankfully, he hasn't aged much since yesterday and one sports outfit pretty much looks like the next.

He waved off my offer of walking him into the school and I sighed and smiled at his confidence and maturity. My tardiness does have one advantage. I can report that Sam had a great first day. He thought the day was a bit on the boring side, as it included a tour of the school (which he already knows) and lots and lots of going over the rules, but he was excited to organize his desk and see some long lost friends he missed over the summer. He's sad most of his best buds are in the other third grade class but, in his words, "It's not like you're supposed to talk in class anyway so I'll just talk to them at lunch and recess." He has woken early both yesterday and today to practice the piano at six am. Who needs an alarm clock when you have a Sam?





Seth started middle school. I am full of prejudice against middle school. I really didn't enjoy my own experience - awkward body changes, changing friends, really bad make-up technique - so I'm sure that is the major source of bias. It just seems like a horrible place to me. There is my skinny, albeit growing taller, eleven year-old hanging out in the same school as boys who can grow mustaches and girls who look eighteen. It freaks me out. I didn't want to inadvertently embarrass him, so I asked instead of just going along if he wanted me to help him find his locker and homeroom. No, he did not. He popped right out of the car and walked away. That was two children refusing my mothering in a matter of twenty minutes! I watched his skinny legs take him closer and closer to Babylon and wondered all day how he was doing.

He did great.

He loves middle school. I have a hunch that'll change when the homework and tests start, but he loves having a locker, loves switching rooms and especially loved PE, though that's not specific to middle school. He was sincerely happy. I need to change my tune and embrace this stage of development. Maybe he'll avoid having his own ugly sweater/stretch pants years.








Happy 2nd Day of School!

A Cow, A Boy and A Man

An illegal picture I snapped of Seth.  I should have gathered that someone who had taken the trouble to set up this elaborate backdrop and bring lights and a fancy camera might not want someone else standing beside him taking picture, but it honestly didn't cross my mind until he yelled at me that I couldn't take pictures here.  I sheepishly apologized but didn't delete!  


Seth's first fair as participant has come and gone.  My first fair as mom has come and gone.  Jay's first fair as trainer/protector/helper/reminder has come and gone.  You can tell by the number of titles who had the hardest week.  Jay was exhausted!

Jay and his siblings participated in 4-H and fair growing up.  This was a normal part of their world.  I went and rode the carnival rides and had the occasional lemonade as a child and teen.  Visiting the animal and craft world on the other side of the fairgrounds was not something I did.  Until this year, that is.  It is a whole other world, let me tell you.

Jay and Seth picked out a calf to raise as his 4-H steer from Jay's small herd of cows when they returned from their summer pasture in the mountains of New Mexico last September.  Jay knew the calf's mother was a calm cow and that the hereford breed is, in general, a calmer, smaller and easier to manage breed.  I wasn't convinced when the steer violently ran its head into the metal corral in protest to its halter being put on, giving himself a big ol' cow bloody nose.   Thankfully, it did gentle down.

Having Seth raise a steer for the past year has been an interesting thing.  For the most part, it didn't affect my life at all.  When Seth went to work with his steer (feeding him grain, hay and water, washing his hide, clipping its hooves, giving him a haircut, walking and leading him, curry combing him) it was mostly on Saturdays.  Jay always took and taught him.  I wouldn't have known what to do had I gone.  Most of the other days, Jay fed him without bothering Seth to come as it coincided with a run or helping his dad change water, feed the cows or help hay.   I worried a bit about Seth's preparedness as it was obvious to me that Jay was doing most of the work with Seth watching on or doing only the most basic parts of the job.  I realize now that Jay perfectly prepared Seth by giving him the confidence he needed to have a successful experience at fair while simultaneously preparing the steer to not hurt our 80 lb eleven year-old.  My heart has been softened by watching this beautiful example of a father's love and I was reminded of an eternal principle:  line upon line.  Seth will do more next year.  You should hear the two of them making their plans!

I'll tell the rest of the story with pictures.



Seth's 4-H group had a club tour where they each presented on a topic of their choice and showed off their future fair exhibit.  Seth researched the Hereford breed of cows and showed off Buddy, his steer.  I laughed when I saw these pictures.  He never wears these jeans because he hates them but must have not had any other clean clothes because I don't think most 4-Hers wear H&M skinny jeans and a Boden polo while working with livestock.  I think he's adorable.



I don't have any pictures of the first few days of fair because I wasn't there for very long (weigh-in, cleaning out the stall, watching the other livestock shows) but this is on day 3 and Seth is washing Buddy for his big show.  Jay realized how much showing steer has changed in the 20 year span since he's participated.  He described his and Seth's set-up and equipment as "old-school farmer."  Indeed, most of the participants had a much fancier set-up and much fancier steers.  I was proud of them for their "old-school" way of doing things.  I mean, who would have thought that steers need to be raised in air-conditioned shelters and fancy fans above their stalls to keep them cool during fair.  We also didn't have any spray-paint to artificially heighten his hide colors.  Considering how much less money was spent on this steer, he showed very well.



Seth was the only participant that showed a Hereford.  Most of the other steers were some sort of a Black Angus cross.



The scariest moment for me was watching Seth lead that steer into the ring by himself without his dad anywhere nearby to help if Buddy got spooked or, by the nature of it being an animal, did something unpredictably violent due to stress.  There were a few instances of Buddy not moving and someone would help him along by pushing his hind in the right direction but, for the most part, Seth did a GREAT job showing him.  It was funny to watch Jay mime to Seth what he should be doing.  I believe when I took this picture, Jay was trying to catch Seth's eye to motion for him to lift Buddy's head up by lifting up the halter.




Seth's class of steer, which were separated by hip height, was the largest.  He didn't place high but he didn't get last, which was a huge relief for both Jay and I who are intimately aware of Seth's sensitivity to disappointment.  We were thrilled when he got a Blue Ribbon group which qualified him for the auction the following night.



Grandpa Vaughn and Papa Jay were both very proud of Seth.  I love this picture of three generations of cowmen.  Seth's relief is visible, as is his excitement to go and get a cold rootbeer from a nearby vending machine.




The auction.  Oh....the auction.  Seth was 123 out of 125 animals to be sold.  He didn't even get into the ring until after 11:00 at night and by then, most of the buyers had left.  Still, Jay told him, "At this point, Seth, you are selling yourself and not your steer."  Once again, we were unprepared by the changes that had occurred since Jay's fair days and didn't doll the steer up with garland, bows or glitter, nor did we have an expensive gift basket carried by a cute younger sibling to present to the highest bidder (can you imagine how cute Henry would have looked walking around the ring in wranglers and boots?).  Thankfully, Seth's scout leader is married to a prominent business man in town who usually buys a steer and, unbeknownst to us, had decided to get Seth's.  His steer, though second to last, went for a $1.50/lb more than the  five or six steers had gone before his.  Seth was beyond elated.  He's naturally gifted at math and did the multiplication of price/pound times 1175 lbs before he even left the ring.


The auctioneers looking for bidders raising their hands.  It was a full time job keeping Henry from bidding on things.  There were actually a couple of bidders on Seth's steer, which got the bid up to $3.50/lb!!



Seth had a big smile on his face the entire time.  He really did show well, in spite of Buddy not having any fancy bows.

The next day, when it was time to load the steers on their way to the butcher, Seth confidently led his own steer into the trailer, no tears involved (apparently, there are lots and lots of tears this day).  Jay said there were dollar signs in his eyes instead and he knows that he has already earned a significant chunk for his mission.  My greatest concern was that something would topple Seth's fragile confidence during fair week and he'd never want to do it again.  Instead, Seth is looking at catalogs with his dad and wondering if he should try a heavier limousine cross breed next year.  He'll learn much more about the reality of profit next year, as he'll have to use his own savings now to buy grain and other supplies, but I wouldn't trade a single moment of this year's experience.   The money in the bank is a great and exciting thing, but I'm mostly happy watching Seth look at his dad with adoring and grateful eyes and Jay helping Seth become the great man he is destined to become.

Happy Birthday To Me

It was a very mellow birthday this year.  36.  Meh.  I am definitely not one of those women who freak out about aging but it’s weird to be closer to 40 than 30.  I hope I can always remember that it’s not the number of candles on the cake, but that there ARE candles on a cake.  There is a celebration of life.  My life.   

Still, this birthday had two strikes against it.  First, I felt like crud.  I kept hoping for a birthday miracle where I could just feel normal for a day.  Not nauseated.  Not tired.  Didn’t happen.  The other strike was that the day was hot and we had to spend it at the fairgrounds for fair.  Being a part of the 4-H world is something that I’m still getting used to.  While the animals and auctions and halters are all new to me, riding questionably assembled carnival rides operated by extremely sketchy men and women is quite familiar.  It even brings on a happy nostalgia.  I didn’t ride any rides this year but the boys got an “all-day” pass that we used for about two hours, until even they had exhausted their attention on all of the ten different rides.  

I appreciate the thoughtfulness of my friends and family who know how much I love birthdays and helped me feel special on my day.  

A card from my sister, Jen.  I got several other cards but I love how she remembered my “Queen for a Day” mentality.

Seth and Sam on the Ferris Wheel.  I appreciate rides with more speed and those that let everybody on and off at the same time.  I think the boys became equally frustrated with how much of the ride was spent moving a few feet, then stopping to load and unload.

Henry stayed away from anything he thought of as scary and since I wasn’t riding, was limited to the little kid rides.  He loved these cars that went around and around in a circle.

This looked like a ride I would have enjoyed.

One of those helpful carnival workers adjusting Henry’s burlap bag underneath him after he tried to start going down the slide with the bag in his hand.

Getting it.

Perfect.

A spinning ride.  Good luck with that one, boys.

My cake.  I guess I didn’t have candles.   I meant my above sentiments figuratively then.  And my sister, Sarah, was so sweet to arrange for me to have a Cold Stone ice cream cake from long distance.  I just had to go pick it up!

A lovely bouquet of fresh flowers from my sweet friend, Lori.

A watch from my mom (that we actually purchased duty-free on the cruise ship a month earlier.)

Jen also mailed me the first baby boy outfit as of yet.  I know people say baby girl stuff is way cuter but I think this darling ensemble gives any frou frou dress a run for its money.

Til next year!

Birthday Week - Bullet Style

As far as birthdays go, I have a feeling my 36th on Thursday is going to be a bit of a disappointment.  Perhaps since I'm already declaring it to be so, it won't be - sort of like when you lower expectations for a movie or book and then end up loving it.  Nevertheless, the day itself already has dentist appointments (dentist appointments of all things!) scheduled right in the middle and fair responsibilities that take Seth and Jay away for most of the day and so, in order to preempt any sort of self-pity which is likely to shadow me on my birthday, I'm declaring it birthday week.  I'll take the celebration in bits and pieces rather than in whole-day form.

I started today.  Nothing official.  Merely treats and gifts thrown my way by me throughout the day.  To be fair, Jay is very disappointed that I am taking away all of his super-husband-points by buying my own gift, but it's just easier this way.  He's already earned them anyway.  This is what I've done so far:

- Got my house cleaned.  True, I do this every other week, but that doesn't mean it's not a gift.  I usually only have the two ladies that come clean do the main floor, but today I splurged and paid them for an extra half hour to get the upstairs bathroom spic-and-span as well.  It brings peace to my soul to walk inside my house and have every room within sight sparkle.  The joy comes from not having to do it myself.  The floors are mopped and vacuumed.  The bathrooms are cometed and vacuumed (because I am still dealing with nasty carpet in my bathroom.  Who puts carpet in a bathroom?  Widowed women, that's who!  Not anyone that has to deal with boys and splatter).  My kitchen is clean including microwave, range, sink and, of course, counters.  I really love it. Really, really, really.

 - Treated myself and the boys to lunch at Costa Vida.  It involves a 45-minute road trip but as we had school shopping and elementary registration to do anyway, we made a day of it.  I got the pork salad and a diet coke with pebble ice and am grateful that my boys like the food there as well.  They are so good with the gluten-free crowd.  Not only do they claim to have gluten-free options, but they know about contamination and do their best to avoid it by changing gloves and using different surfaces for things ordered to be specifically gluten-free.  Can't beat that.

 - Bought a Bose Sound System for my Ipod.  I have been wanting one of these for years but always shied away due to the cost.  They had one reasonably priced at Sam's Club and I told Jay it was all I wanted for my birthday.   I picked one up and have been listening to Adele as she was meant to be listened to.  O.K, that's probably not true.  She's probably phenomenal live, but listening to her with a Bose Sound system is a close second.  I just love the sound!  I've been listening to my music either with the cheap white headphones that came with my ipod or over the computer speakers on our seven year-old desktop system.  I had no idea that any of these songs had bass!

 -  Finished school shopping for the boys.  I admit it's not really at the birthday-gift level, but it sure is nice to have it done.  No running around various stores during the last two weeks of summer for me (not counting today, of course).  Hopefully, next week when this fair thing is over, we can get to the lake instead of rioting with all the others over #2 pencils at Walmart.

 - Bought three newborn outfits for baby boy.  I know he'll need other sizes but it was so fun to pick out these cute little things.  I probably shouldn't shop with big brothers again unless I want to end up with ALL football-themed jammies.

 - Got a fun birthday decorated package from my sister, Jen.  I'm waiting to open it on Thursday so that there is something to open that day, but I'm kind of embarrassed about it.  She is so good at mailing things!  The rest of our family uses the wait-until-someone-else-visits-and-then-send-it-back-with-them-to-hold-onto-it-until-desired-recipient-visits-middle-man system and I have something that I said I'd send her from a month ago!  I'd promise to get it done this week but I don't think she'd believe me.  No matter - I vow to make it so!

So...yeah.  I kind of spent a lot of money today.  That wasn't really the point of celebrating, but it's how today went down.  Everything was planned and included in the budget so I'm not going to let the numbers, or the fact that the Dow Jones lost over 600 points today, get me down.   Because birthday week doesn't come around every....week!

Road Trip 2011 - Second Stop - Seattle

Cousins!  And very loud duck quackers which had to be confiscated later.

I was not looking forward to the 600 mile drive between my parents home in Montana and my brother's place in the Seattle area. Originally, I had planned to drive the distance in one day but my lackluster pregnancy energy made it seem like a bad idea. Spokane seemed like an ideal place to stop but my two usual hosts were both out of town so I made a small southern detour and went and stayed the night with my sister in the Tri-Cities. It was a very quick stop but still nice to see her on her turf.

Driving on to Seattle the next day will go down as the worst day of the entire trip. I left in the late afternoon and couldn't even get to Yakima before I had to pull over to throw-up. My kids were horrified as I'm usually much more discreet about it in a bathroom, but that's just the nature of the beast sometime. I made it to North bend before I had to pull over again. I knew I was in for a long night.

My brother and sister-in-law were very gracious hosts, but I fear I was a horrible guest. I was traumatized from vomit coming out of my nose (sorry about the TMI, but I need to adequately describe my horror) and very tired. The boys were in heaven to see their cousins and immediately started playing basketball, baseball and other various games. I went to bed. Or tried to. It was one of those nights were my stomach just decided to be angry and I retched several times throughout the night.

We had planned on doing tourist activities the next day so we valiantly set out for downtown with the intention of riding the light-rail to avoid parking fees. We couldn't find a single parking space in the park and ride so we ended up caravaning into downtown. I'm glad I had my brother to follow, who is an excellent navigator, and other than the expensive price to park, it wasn't too inconvenient.

Our first agenda item was to Ride the Duck. I thought this was a very entertaining activity for the kids. The driver was fun. The music was fun. The tour itself was rather uninformative but my boys were singing and clapping the entire time so it was 90 minutes well spent.


Passing another duck in Lake Union.

Where the duck vehicle enters the water.

This guy was very funny.  His character name was Joaquin d'Plank.  His jokes were very funny to the 13 and younger crowd and I loved his music selection.

I was still extremely low on energy due to my rough night, so we skipped the next item, visitng the locks (sp?) and instead walked down to Pike Street Market. This was not so fun for the kids and I wish I could have spent an hour or so looking at the various booths without them but they did get to see some fish thrown, so that was worth it. Next, we walked to my brother's office building and relaxed for awhile on the idyllic 17th floor. I guess its all the rage for companies to include a peaceful spot to work and Jon said that he sometimes takes his laptop out there to get some work down. Amazing views, serene landscaping. Very Seattle:)





The view from the 17th floor of my brother's office building.   Not too shabby.

We took it easy for the rest of the night. Jon and Tara were very accommodating to my situation and the kids probably had more fun just playing together than they would have doing anything else.

Friday, Jay flew into Seattle as he was running in the Seattle Rock-N-Roll marathon the following day. I left without the boys to pick him up at the airport and we immediately went downtown to pick up his race packet at the Expo. It's been awhile since I've driven by myself in a large city and it was crazy! I am officially a hick. I couldn't stand the traffic and the noise and the people everywhere!

That night, we had a great double date with our originally double daters. Back when we were both newlyweds, hanging out with Jon and Tara was our traditional Saturday night date. We went and watched my amazing niece, Alyssa, practice gymnastics for a little while (she is amazing.  I know it's super competitive but I really think she'll be in the olympics someday.  If not, then at least an elite college gymnast.  She can already do the most incredible stunts like giants on the uneven bars and back walk-overs followed by a back handspring on the high beam and she's only 10!) and  then got some Thai food, which tasted a lot better after a relatively sick-free day. Thank goodness.

Saturday was the marathon and a long drive to Boise when the race was over. Jay and my sister's husband, Christopher, were both running the marathon and Tara was running the half-marathon for the third or fourth time (I can't remember, Tara!) Jon took them to the starting line nice and early and then I followed his lead into town for some sweet parking and easy walk to the finish. I love this about my brother. He really knows his way to things. He's got a very innate sense of direction and shortcuts:)

We had a blast cheering everyone on. I know it seems boring to some, but I actually enjoy watching a race. I love looking out for Jay and this time, it was even more fun because I was able to look out for Christopher and Tara as well. We had signs and cameras and lots and lots of kids so we could make quite a ruckus when we wanted to.

After Tara finished, I went in search of a good place to cheer on Jay at about mile 26. I knew what he would be racing in, so I wasn't expecting it to be difficult to spot him. He had very deliberately found a racing outfit that looked like one of his high school uniforms. The sentiment obviously worked because he ran a new PR yet again, finishing in a blazing 2:53! He finished 16th overall and almost won his age group. The guy in the yellow singlet in front of him in these pictures beat him in time by 3 seconds, even though Jay passed him and beat him by 2 seconds at the finish line. Those timing chips!

As soon as we watched Christopher finish and visited for awhile at the finish line, we had lunch and headed towards Utah for football camp on Monday morning. I don't think sitting in a car for 7 hours is an ideal activity post marathon, but we made it. I wish we had had more time in Seattle and I really wish I hadn't been sick during the short time I was there, but I'm glad I went and very glad I was able to spend time with my brother. He's a favorite of mine:)





I first spot Jay and his candy-stripped shorts.



He sees us and turns on the heat, passing a guy.  He ran his last half mile in under 6 minute/mile pace!  Said he didn't feel like he had anything left in his tank but seeing us all cheering gave him the burst of energy he needed.



Making his move.








So good looking:-)



At the finish line with his proud boys.  Henry was feeling shy because he decided his sign looked dumb.  You can see his legs hiding behind Jay.




We convinced him it was an awesome sign.  He made it himself!



Christopher smiles at the end of his marathon.  I don't know how anyone smiles at this point.





The three victors.  Very proud of all of them.  We married well.


Jon and I showing off our own particular set of skills.  Holding heavy cameras and cheering at the same time.  Go us!  Please excuse the frizzy hair and no make-up.  Like I explained, the day before had been very rough and I was just happy to be there feeling human.  I kind of lose my vanity when I'm pregnant, much to my chagrin when I look at pictures.