A Cruel Twist of Fate

Four people were sick in this house yesterday. Four. Alas, the one left healthy was Henry and at seven months is still unable to feed and change himself. Sammy was sick a few nights ago and perhaps that is where the contagion began but Jay felt under the weather at the lake yesterday. We went to dinner with the Rolands and had planned to continue on to their house for games but passed after Sammy fell ill again after eating. Driving home, Jay and I decided that Sammy was the one who got him sick and it was weird that I wasn't since I was the one who cleaned him up that night. Once we were home, we quickly put the boys to bed and I started to feel sick.

The rest of the night was miserable for Jay and me. We both shut off our lights at 8:30 and suffered through chills and fever until morning. We were both achy Sunday morning and when Sammy woke up crying early Sunday morning it seemed a silent duel began over who would get up to take care of him. I was determined that Jay know how sick I felt so held out longer and Jay got out of bed to see what the problem was. He was sick in his pullup again so Jay cleaned him up and brought him into bed with us. Then Henry started to cry. I figured Jay getting up earlier meant he was feeling better so delegated morning feedings to him. I was so achy. Every single body part hurt -- shoulders, back, neck, hips. I did get up about a half hour later and found the boys fed and Jay miserable. He went back to bed and I had the kids for awhile feeling very sorry for myself. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. Where was my chicken soup? The heating pad? Mom?

It was obvious we shouldn't be at church with our potent germs so I found a substitute organist and settled into reading the paper. The boys are much better at being sick, I realized. They had moments where they felt sick but they didn't mope all day like us adults. I think both Jay and I were wondering why we weren't getting taken care of. Or at least getting more sympathy. Jay woke up when Seth and Sam wanted lunch and Jay decided to fix them ramen noodles and found a can of chicken soup for himself. He asked me what I wanted and I told him I wasn't hungry. He immediately defended himself by stating that neither was he but he felt dehydrated and needed something salty. As if eating would equal concession that I was, indeed, sicker! I told him I believed that he was still sick and to eat away. I escaped back to our bedroom and fell back asleep. When I woke later, I felt a lot better. I made myself a smoothie and sat on the couch with the family. Jay continued to be sick and I realized that I had lost the overall sickness contest. Jay was clearly sicker than me. I took over whatever childcare remained (by this time, Seth and Sam were pretty much on autopilot) and later made dinner while Jay fed Henry. The boys were amazed when bedtime came around that they didn't have to change into pajamas because they were still in theirs from the night before! We watched Lemony Snicket and A Series of Unfortunate Events and went to bed.

I hope these stars never align themselves again. We both are feeling fine today. Thank goodness.

Wakesurfing

We went to the lake yesterday with the Rolands and Hainsworths and tried a new "sport": Wakesurfing. It's like wakeboarding without the boots and you are only about 10 ft away from the boat. The boat is going super slow (like 10 mph) and you just ride the wake -- like surfing! It took me a few times to get up but it was really fun. Jay was quite good at it. He just popped up first thing and kept trying new tricks right away. Because of the slow speed, it doesn't hurt when you fall so you're more willing to have another go. We all had a turn and then took the kids tubing. It was a quick trip out to the lake. Sort of a last hurrah as school starts in a week.

Quick Trip

The boys and I took a quick trip to Richland to see Jen and Christopher and their new house. We left Thursday morning and came back Friday evening. Our boys always have such a good time playing together. We used to get together a lot more often. The first year Jen lived here, I think we saw eachother at least once a month. It wasn't until Ansel started Kindergarten and Seth started preschool 2 years ago with a $100/month tuition that our trips back and forth slowed down considerably. I hadn't been down to Richland since May and after realizing that I wouldn't have a free weekend until mid-october I decided to drive down to see her new place even though she had just been here last week.

When I arrived, Jen gave me the grand tour inside and out. It is so much bigger than their previous house and I think they will be really happy there. Nice neighborhood, nice home.

Cute Jen in front of her cute house

Later, she went and picked up a babysitter and just the two of us went out for lunch. We went to the Olive Garden and sat on the patio. The service was slow but for two moms who are enjoying the respite from childcare. . .they heard no complaints from us. As I just started WW again, I ordered minestrone soup and chicken with vegetables (no pasta). I wasn't sure about how many points but guessed high (I hope). We watched "Corpse Bride" that night -- a Tim Burton movie. Odd.

Friday, we worked out together in the morning in her gargantuan master suite (it's seriously the size of our entire first apartment in Denver). Nothing like a little T-Tapp with a fellow tapper. She's been so much better than I have at doing it lately even though she is pregnant so it was nice having her there to motivate me.

Afterwards, we took all of the kids to Hermison, Oregon to a great pool park. It's the perfect place for young kids. I don't think teenagers would find it all that exciting since there are no large slides but all of our kids had a ball. Even Henry, who just splashed in the shallow end (it's like a beach opening - you just walk in). After that, we drove home to find Jay ready to see his family. I love having Jen live close enough to do these quick overnighters. It takes effort and sometimes it's easier to just not go but it always seems worth it afterward.

Almost

All that stuff that was overwhelming to me yesterday? Checking it off! O.K...so not the big stuff yet but I was able to complete so many things today. The morning started off rough when Sammy started crying at about 1:00 am. Jay still wasn't home and I hadn't fallen asleep yet so I went up to check on him (he had woken up with a barking cough 2 nights ago so I was concerned). As soon as I opened the door I realized the problem. He had diarrhea in his pullup. The smell was horrible but thankfully most of it was contained. I gave him a bath and some medicine and cleaned up. He slept the rest of the night with me and when Jay got home at 2:15 I was still awake. When 7:00 rolled around and the boys woke up I was definitely dragging. Sammy was completely fine. Isn't that bizarre? After breakfast the boys did something so cute I had to take a picture**. I'm still not sure what they were doing but they were dressed and outside by a quarter to 8. That made my morning so much easier. I immediately made my list of to-do's for the day and just started. Seth's friend, Caleb, called so I took him over there while I went and ran my errands. Sammy, Henry and I went to other mothers, picked up lunch for jay and went up to the VA to get the title to the truck that I had messed up, went to State Farm to exchange title for check (yay!), library, grocery shopping. All of that took about 3 hours and when I got home the laundry was done and I could make all of the beds. Fixed dinner and then went off to my first weight watchers meeting. More on that later....maybe. I'm not sure what I'll share about it. Just know that I won't be blogging about the great food I'm eating. Or maybe I will. I might just learn to love brown rice! MMMMM.

Cleaned tonight so the house is ready for Jon and Tara. They still aren't here so it doesn't look like we'll get much time to visit. Overall, the day just clicked. I feel prepped for some of those bigger jobs this weekend. We'll see.

**Picture won't upload. Imagine cute scene of boys sitting and facing eachother in kid sized portable camp chairs right next to the backyard fence. Seth is wearing his yellow rain boots with his running outfit (red tank top and red athletic shorts) and Sammy is wearing his cowboy boots with his shorts. They are deep in conversation/play mode so don't notice me on the deck taking a picture. It's really cute.

Overwhelmed

I have so much to do. When life gets like this I almost shut down. Instead of checking things off of the list, I feel depressed and incapable. Ugh. My house is a disaster. I bought a new dresser for my room but don't want to put it up until I can paint. In order to paint, I needed to move the table, my scrapbook stuff, Jay's radiology stuff and just stuff in general. For those who know my room, you know what I mean. Before I could move the scrapbook stuff, I had to organize and make space in the spareroom's closet. Now there is a pile of stuff from that closet to sell/give away that I have to figure out what to do with. I needed to make room in the bookshelf downstairs for ALL of Jay's Radiology Books and so had to pack up a bunch of other books that I don't want to throw away. Yearbooks, church education stuff..... Once I got the table down I needed to make room in the crawl space for it. Found some peaches I had canned awhile back and needed to make room in my pantry for those jars. In the crawl space I found more stuff that I need to sell/give away so got that out. Also got out my body pillow, old swing and diaper genie to take to Other Mothers (consignment/trade shop) and those are now in my living room.

The thing is. . .when I have a day like this all of the other, normal chores get ignored. So now my kitchen is a mess, and all of the other rooms from the boys playing. Jay is on call tonight and I just want to read a book and go to bed. My brother's family is coming tomorrow to stay on their way to Montana and so I need to get this cleaned up before tomorrow evening. I honestly don't know what to start with tomorrow. I need to get to the library to pick up books that are on hold or they get reshelved tomorrow and go grocery shopping.

I am so tired of my house being ugly. There are so many projects to do: the floor and stairs, the railing, the entry way window coverings, the painting, the baseboards, the light switches and outlet covers, the lawn and lava rocks, the bathroom, the dressers put together, the foyer light, etc. etc. I know everyone has projects like this and that's life but it's just starting to pile up. Jay will read this and feel bad. Whenever I get like this he takes it personal and feels like I'm unhappy with him but that's so not true. He's working like a dog -- hardly gets a day off anymore moonlighting to pay for all of this. In fact, I'm the one who feels guilty. I should possess these skills. I'm a terrible painter. Reading instruction manuals or any technical writing is not my forte. Isn't this what I'm supposed to love? Homemaking?? I would so much rather have HGTV come and take over. Especially Candace from Divine Design. I love her. And Chico.

But it's so much more than just the big projects. It's the organization and little things like changing lightbulbs, cleaning the leather furniture (it's all been spit up on thanks to Henry's immature gasoesophageal sphincter), cleaning out the cupboard under my bathroom sink because I can't stuff anything else in there. Everywhere I look there is something that needs done.

That hymn comes to mind - "Put Your Shoulder To The Wheel." With a heart full of song? How is that supposed to happen?

Weekend Update

Wow. Blogging can be tough. Let a few days go by and suddenly no title will work. Jen and her boys came up on Thursday so we had a couple of days to hang out and let the boys play. 6 boys altogether. We are kind of our own side show when we go out together. It seems everyone makes a comment on the number of boys. We have a good time but they do get loud. Don't know what to do about that except just increase patience. I love cousinfriends. I love friendfriends too but cousinfriends are just special. You know that they are going to have the potential to be buddies for a lifetime if they want to.

Boys in the backayrd

Jay did an ultrasound on Jen and reassured her that she was going to have a girl. So, we went through all of the "clothes" that get transferred to and fro depending on who has the younger child and separated all of her baby stuff out. I'm going to get rid of all of mine and she'll get rid of what she doesn't want. I wish I was a nostalgic person. I'd love to have the organizational skills to get away with it but in my case it would be considered packratting. Weird to not be putting the 0-3 month and 3-6 months stuff in rubbermaid bins for the next boy. I figure IF we have anymore kids it'll be a ways down the road and at that point -- I'm getting new stuff. And that's a pretty big if.

Saturday, Jen took off to unpack into her new house and we went to the Inland Northwest's version of Six Flags. It's a theme parked named Silverwood. I really like amusement parks. I'm a bit of a rollercoaster junkie, in fact. But I could not have a good time here. The lines, the ill-planned design, the whisky tangos EVERYWHERE who had no problem cussing or smoking around my children, lack of benches to sit on because I've learned that as a parent of young children there will be no more ridetaking. Before I get called a liar, I did ride ONE ride with Seth. A roller coaster. And it was very fun. I just wish it didn't involve standing between the teenagers groping eachother and the lady behind me who, over and over, keeps saying, "*&%$#" for 45 minutes. I did have a great opportunity to explore the world of tattoo art as about 80% of attendees had them and the was an exhorbant amount of skin showing overall. Why not just leave, you ask? Because we shelled out $90 for a good time, darnit! And it was a quest! A quest for fun! I shouldn't complain because Jay really wanted us to have a fun family adventure and I know my snarking makes him feel bad but theme parks should be fun. We had a ball at the Denver Six Flags in June. Lagoon always seems to be a good time. Live and learn, I guess. North Idaho must not be the Mecca for clean family fun.

Jay took the boys on the kiddie coaster.
Sammy couldn't ride this himself. There were only 3 rides he could!

One of the rides he could ride so we rode it again and again. Here is new friend #1

New friend #2

Henry's day. He was a trooper.

I had better pictures but am having serious computer issues uploading them. So, this is what you get. Very frustrating!

Book Review #3 The Jane Austen Book Club

I love Jane Austen. I love book groups. What should happen when these two worlds collide? Not what happened in this book. I was seriously looking forward to reading this. I even bought this book. O.K. . .so it was at a second hand book store but still, that was valuable credit that I'll never get back. I couldn't even finish this book. Part of me feels guilty because it's not fair reviewing a book without completing it but I just couldn't waste anymore time on this. More than halfway through and the recurring lesbianism/sex theme just didn't fit in. Hello! This is a supposed to adhere to Jane Austen ideals! I honestly wasn't expecting Pride and Prejudice or Mansfield Park or even Emma but there wasn't anything I liked about this book. Well, the writing was decent if not a little condescending but the characters were unbelievable and too extreme. The style of switching between the characters in the book club and their discussion of the book was choppy and unsatisfying. I didn't care. Get back to Jane Austen! Were we supposed to recognize the themes of the classic Austen stories in the lives of these pathetic creatures? Probably. I don't think the author succeeded. Time to move on.

Call Nights

Call nights are definitely a love/hate thing for me.

Love

• relaxed day. No need to hurry up and get things done by 5:30 to prove that I've actually done something productive that day.
• dinner. Quick and easy carbohydrates when it's only the kids to feed. (Jay doesn't consider it a meal unless there is some animal product on the table.)
• quiet evening. My boys are talkers and the quiet after they are in bed is so nice. No need to nod and "uh-huh" every few seconds.
  

Hate

• LOOOOOOONG day. 4:30 comes around and it aint over anytime soon.
• conflicts. Sucks paying for babysitting when I have bookgroup, choir etc.
• Tired husband the next day. Or lately, just another day without him as postcall days have become perfect moonlighting days.

Tonight, I had to watch the finale of "So You Think You Can Dance?" all by myself. I discovered that it is a show that should be watched with other people. It's been my star show for weeks now but tonight all I could think was Lame, Lame, Lame, Lame, Lame! (the boys have been watching The Incredibles EVERY day for about 2 weeks and there's this scene when Syndrome says that when he thinks Mr. Incredible has sent out a signal for help but really it's just that his wife, Elastigirl, has triggered the homing device that Edna built into his supersuit because he's been lying about being fired from his job at an insurance agency and resuming superhero work for Mirage and she doesn't know where he is.) Anyway, it wasn't nearly as good tonight. Very redundant and obnoxiously long and drawn out. I should know better getting involved with FOX.

So, I'm on my way to bed. I'm never motivated to go to bed when Jay is on call. The weird thing is, I'm not the sort of person who needs someone to go to bed with. I often go to bed earlier or later than Jay. I'm not scared or creeped out or anything like that. But I definitely find myself procrastinating bedtime when he's gone. The time I actually turn out the light is almost always notably later than usual.

On a completely random note, I can't shake this smell from a thermos I cleaned out of Jay's truck. I knew he took it with him to work so he could mix up a protein shake but I had no idea it could possibly smell so bad or I would have thrown it away before opening up that weapon. I've burned a candle, sprayed a cinnamon spray, washed my hands 3 times with smelly sun-ripened raspberry soap, cleaned the sink, run the dishwasher and still the smell lingers somewhere unidentifiable. Hopefully it'll be gone in the morning.

I got nothing to tie all that up in a neat little package. But I couldn't end this post without noting this awful smell. Sour milk with a vengeance.

Book Review #2 - Joseph Smith Rough Stone Rolling

While reading this book, I think I recommended it to about every person I had a conversation with about it. Now that I'm actually finished reading it, I have mixed emotions. I'm not left with the feeling I wanted to have -- the triumphant "Praise To The Man" feeling. But I do feel grateful. Grateful for Joseph for the questions he asked, for the organization he established and for those early saints and their willingness to believe in what had to be SO hard to believe. Grateful for its continuation and the clear heads of the 12 apostles who didn't let the chaotic end of Joseph Smith's life translate into a chaotic religion.

The book serves its purpose - narrating the history of Joseph Smith's life. The author, Bushman, seems neutral throughout most of the book. He acknowledges early on that writing a true history about Joseph Smith is an almost impossible task. Defenders of his reputation write from the perspective of believers and disregard any story that finds fault with him. Other biographies are written by non-believers or former believers who have to discount any inspiration he claimed to have. Bushman, a believer but historian, writes Joseph as a prophet who made mistakes. I think that it is a fair assessment.

I started this book a bit nervous about what I would discover. I have never read much about him other than what the church publishes. The only bad stuff I had ever read was on the internet when I'd be searching for a primary sharing time idea. Googling can be dangerous. As I'd start to read, a sick feeling would start in my stomach and I would immediately stop. That was a road I didn't want to go down. I already knew most of the rumors but there aren't many "safe" answers to those questions in church literature. If you are not a church history scholar, chances are you don't know the real history of Joseph Smith. From primary on, we are taught his teachings, his testimonies and recalled versions of his early history. We are given a man who was a charismatic, beloved leader. A man who loved children, had a playful side and willing to suffer any amount of persecution to bring about the full restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ. After reading this book, I think all of the above descriptions are true. That doesn't seem to be a rosy, post-mortem memory of a man. But he was not perfect and he didn't always do things perfectly. There seems to be two ways of interpreting his mistakes. Either he wasn't a prophet and and the mistakes were a result of a fanatic with the idea of creating an empire and failed due to lack of experience and implementation skill or he was a prophet and tried to carry out the will of God without a full understanding of the revelations at that time. At least that's my interpretation. The revelations he received were not all neatly understood and laid out to him like they are to us in the Doctrine and Covenants. They came and he wouldn't always recognize immediately its meaning or purpose. That's what was the most enlightening to me -- the setting that the prophet was in. What was the feeling and atmosphere during that time? The mood of the people, the religious frenzy, the political climate? Reading this book really helps a person understand the mentality of all involved from the early followers of Mormonism to his persecutors. I'm relieved that after reading this book, my testimony of the prophet is not shaken. The stories of the "bad stuff" did not shake me. In fact, it helped me to understand the prophet even more. I finished this book tonight and I feel melancholy. I hated the frenzy at the end. There was such intense hatred in such normal people. I ache for Emma and her suffering, isolation and loss. I recommend this book to anyone who is curious about Joseph Smith and when and why he did the things he did.

In Closing,

one last thought on the birthday. I realize my last 2 posts have also focused on this theme and worry some of you might think I'm unable to let go, but this is the stuff I actually want to remember and want my kids to remember. Jay made such an effort to make me happy. He has never liked shopping for me. Mostly due to the fact that he detests shopping in general. I consider myself an easy person to shop for because I'm never disgruntled over what I get. I appreciate the thought even if it's not something I'm likely to use or want. Rarely, I'll return something but usually no gift has ever been so bad that it serves no purpose to keep it. Mix the above two personality traits together and over the years, Jay has come to realize that sometimes his gifts haven't been my dream come true. To convince him that there are a number of easily attainable gifts I would be perfectly happy with, I made him a list of ideas. A rather long list. The list was in no particular order of desire and it seemed to satisfy Jay. Rather than feeling frustrated and desperate, it seemed he was actually looking forward to to getting me a present.

The morning of my birthday, Jay sang quickly and told me "Happy Birthday" and rushed off to work. I'm not sure if I just had a random grouchy day or if I was overly emotional but the day got off to a rough start. It really shouldn't have been because immediately after waking up and getting a bottle ready for Henry, I opened the microwave to find a wrapped present. So nice but I was informed that there was to be NO opening until the main shopper guy arrived home from work. The pleasant feeling I had upon the discovery soon subsided. I kept snapping at my kids and Seth kept making comments that left me feeling bad (such as..."this day isn't turning out the way I imagined it would. I thought it would be a day where no one was ever mad"). Yeah. . . I know. We actually have a pretty happy household but I digress. There were some mad words. Something about the day just brought out all of the usual frustrations: having to do the laundry and dishes and pick up the house ( timed just so that it looks good for the reason it is being picked up) , finding time to exercise and run a few errands. I wasn't in my happy place. Then I tried to find a babysitter. Disaster! I spent well over an hour on the phone trying to find someone. Anyone. And then I realized I was trying to find "anyone" and felt bad because I didn't want to leave my precious children with just "anyone". I wanted a good babysitter! And call after call. . . all of those "no's" just left me feeling rejected. Then I couldn't find my keys. Again, I know I spent more than an hour looking for the blasted thing. I couldn't even run my errands! I called Jay and lamented about my situation and could tell he was flabbergasted. He just wanted me to have what I wanted. If it was an evening out...then he wanted me to have a babysitter. If it was a quiet evening at home...let's do that. He helped by feigning needing help finding his memory USB thingee and I was led to another hidden gift! I added it to the other and cursed myself for being so grumpy. Jay had gone to so much effort in an attempt to make my birthday special. And I was ruining it! He called again with another believable story about needing help finding something (this isn't too rare of an occurrence on a normal day either) until he told me where to look. Under the guest bed. He admitted that he panicked and couldn't think of a reason to get me to look there. I put this next present with the others. We had already invited friends to go to dinner with us and then come over for games so I decided that I would just call them and tell them to go out on their own and to come over later when our kids would already be in bed. I called Andrea and she suggested a babysitter that I hadn't even known about! She also asked her husband to run one of my errands. Then Jay called to tell me he had accidentally taken the van key with him to work in his truck. He also told me that there was one more present hidden and that he would send me a riddle to help me find it. The rest of the day was significantly better as I received a cryptic email every half hour with another clue. He sent 6 altogether. They were

1. I am not on the ground but touch a floor.
2. Like a nesting doll, I am in four separate containers, one within another.
3. Yesterday I couldn't move. Today I travel.
4. I am colder than you at night but warmer than you in the day.
5. Sammy and Seth might see me before you do.
6. I am underneath some bits.

They seem really obvious now but I could NOT figure it out. It wasn't until after dinner with help from my friends that I finally found it -- a Cuisinart! -- in the back of the minivan in the garage underneath the grocery carrier. Since the nesting doll clue totally threw me off I demanded an explanation and he said, "the box is inside a bag inside a van inside a garage." Happily, the day ended up being memorable and fun instead of a miserable pity party. From Jay and the boys, I received organ shoes, a new cranium game, Beautiful Perfume and a volleyball. My parents gave me IKEA end tables for the bedroom and Jay's parents sent a check (gotta love the birthday check). I readily give credit for my happy day to Jay and Andrea. That babysitter's name came out of nowhere and she was terrific. Best babysitter ever. She's hardly bigger than Seth but as long as she doesn't have to carry him anywhere. . . she's golden.

Thanks for the cards and calls. I really do love birthdays. I like to think of them as"celebrations of being" instead of hallmarks of age. What's fun about celebrating aging after the age of 21? I love existing. That's what I celebrate.

Would You Rather?

Would You Rather?
. . . age only from the neck up OR age only from the neck down?
. . . always be itchy OR always feel like you have to pee?
. . . spend the rest of your life in a 5- mile radius OR never sleep in the same place more than one night?
. . . have the ability to erase memories from your mind OR the ability to erase memories from someone else's mind?

We played this last night with some friends. There is an actual game called "ZOBMONDO!! Would You Rather" that I got as a birthday gift. This is a very fun party game. Tara brought the cards to the family reunion last weekend and made the choices between our own family history events. I told Andrea yesterday that I wanted to go out and get the game but couldn't find my car keys (let's just say that the day wasn't perfect) and she, being a kind, helpful friend sent her husband out to get it for me while he was out and about. They ended up giving it to me as a gift which was so nice and fun. Once playing, however, we realized that there was even more fun to be had than just discussing the questions. There are challenges which are the only way any player can win. Whoever wins must complete 3 challenges and group approval is necessary on each challenge. The challenges vary quite widely but the funniest ones are the ones where you have to pretty much make a fool of yourself. Kariann started the fun by performing a 60 second interpretive dance of a cat stalking and then pouncing on its prey. Chad followed by doing a 30 second booty shake on his hands and knees to music.

Chad's wife, Kariann, encourages him to complete his challenge

Not all of the challenges are performances. Some are matching answers to the questions in a speed round and making up your own would you rathers that are chosen by the rest of the group. Some are about endurance -- Jason had to play the game with a spoon in his mouth for 2 player turns.

What was that Jason? Couldn't quite understand you...

I won the game by dancing while humming my own music for 30 seconds (not a huge stretch for me). The night was fun -- the laughter flowing. Hopefully there isn't too much morning after regret and I'll get people to play again!

Ode to 31

Being 31 isn't so bad. As a tribute, here are 31 things I love:

1. homemade cocoa and toast
2. bubble baths
3. rental cars
   
4. photo albums
5. a mowed lawn with diagonal lines
6. Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennett
7. lamp lighting
8. news stories about dance-offs
9. king-size sleep number bed
10. free child care - anywhere
11. montana
12. ice for fountain drinks at a shell station in Richland
13. holding henry
    
14. sammy's ear noise talent
15. hallelujah chorus sing along
16. square shapes
    
17. so-you-think-you-can-dance?
18. reading a novel in one day
19. nobi-obi-nobi
    
20. post call days
21. campfires
22. mid song key changes
    
23. closets that fit portacribs
24. smelly candles
25. watching seth read
26. airplane take offs
27. round tables with 6 or more people
    
28. maps
29. adirondack chairs
30. political discussions
31. being with jay
    

Bad Hair Blues

Boys are not supposed to give you hair woes. I realize that. But the other day, Sammy took some of the new school supply scissors and cut his bangs. Awkward looking and I need to take care of it. Somedays it blends a bit better than others. Today was particularly bad. I definitely am taking him in to get a very short cut.

Henry used to have great hair. The first sign of things to come was when they had to shave off the front left side of his hair for a scalp IV when he was in the ICU. But then he rubbed of the back as a lot of babies do. That left only the top right section as original hair. As a result, it's way longer than the rest of his hair. Sometimes it looks o.k. Kind of like we purposed punked him out with the long top and the short back and sides. But after a nap where he finds his way onto his stomach--then we have hair issues. I don't want to cut his hair before his 1st birthday. I like the tradition and you know after that first cut they lose that "baby look" and suddenly look like little boys. I guess I'll just have bad hair blues with him for while.

Book Groups

I have belonged to "this" bookgroup for 3 1/2 years. It has evolved quite a bit. I was originally invited by my friend, Elisa as was most everyone there. It was the first bookgroup I had belonged to that wasn't a church book group (since that is usually the only people I know or end up being social with). I actually had joined my ward book group the previous month. After one month, I knew the ward book group wasn't for me. It wasn't necessarily bad but I didn't like it for several reasons. First, it was just too big. I've always thought an ideal size for a book group is 8. Definitely no more than 12. 6 is fun and 4 gets small. But women are chatty and since the purpose of the group is to actually talk then the larger the number the harder it is to actually do it. Secondly, well...this will sound snobby, but some of the crowd bugged. The group dynamics just weren't the right ones to pull me away from my family for a night. I already had enrichment, ward socials, etc. Plenty of opportunities for me to be friendly with the ward and get to know people outside of my comfort zone. Lastly, I realized that the books we would be reading would all have to be "church approved." I'm really not criticizing that. I know that the only way to have such a broad invitation to all without offending is to select books that aren't at all considered controversial in content. And for these 3 reasons, I knew that this book group wasn't going to fulfill my longing for one.

Can you Believe C.S. Lewis wrote that???

Along comes Elisa at the perfect time. I had so much fun that first month that I haven't missed too many 2nd tuesdays of the month since then. The group has changed a lot. Elisa's husband finished his fellowship in June and they left for the real world of medical practice. After she left, I didn't know if the book group would survive. She was always the one who sent out the emails and figured out where it was going to be for the month. There were only 3 remaining from the original group, Kristin, Karri and myself. Last month, Kristin got the ball rolling and now we're totally organized for 8 more months! Last night there were only 5 of us but the food was great, the conversation hopping and just a sense of good times had by the time we left.

Carolyn and Kristin

We discussed "The Great Divorce" by C.S. Lewis and a quick description of our conversation is impossible. I don't think there were many topics left uncovered! So, a big thanks to Carolyn for allowing us to stay until midnight and for having provided the place and yummy chocolate for the night. Fantastic group therapy!

Henry's Birth Story

A flair for drama!

7 months old

I can't believe my little guy is 7 months old today. I thought I'd celebrate the day by sharing his birth story (which I'm pretty sure most of you know) but this way I can print it out and put it in a journal. I've never actually written it down so here goes. . .

A little background knowledge to begin with. Both of Henry's older brothers were born early so I was fully expecting Henry to arrive around 37 or 38 weeks. In fact, my OB/GYN did too. Due to my previous early deliveries they started checking the cervix at around 36 weeks. Sure enough, I was progressing early. I think at 36 weeks I was dilated to a two and 50% effaced. I actually prayed to hold off on delivering Henry for a few weeks until he was bigger and better developed to handle the big, bad world. 37 weeks, pretty much the same. Maybe 60% effaced (I don't know how they could tell a difference of 10 percent to tell you the truth but when you're a pregnant woman you want to hear something different). 38 weeks and it's Christmas. My parents and my sisters, Maureen and Sarah, come hoping for some excitement. At this point, I'm hoping it's after Christmas so that Seth and Sammy get a fun day and all the attention isn't on the baby. Christmas comes and goes and Sarah and Maureen leave without meeting baby and my mom stays because it's only a matter of time and why make 2 trips. New years comes and goes. Hey. . . free babysitter. 39 weeks and I'm 75% effaced and maybe a 3. I'm totally annoyed and want to be induced. I'm not easy about it though because my labor with both Seth and Sam was fairly easy and I didn't know what to expect with induction. What if it turned into an 18 hour ordeal when a few days later I could have repeated the 4 hour cakewalk I'd come to expect? But enough was enough and I scheduled an induction for Monday which was 1 day before my due date. (For those of you wondering if maybe I'm just off on my dates. . . I'm not off by weeks due to pretty much being limited to conception a week to 10 days after Clomid and the roughly 10 ultrasounds we had done as early as 6 weeks)

Sunday night and I'm sitting on the couch with my mom. It's 8 o'clock and West Wing is starting (although I haven't watched the show since Rob Low left, my mother still watches it). I feel a very strong contraction and grimace. My mom notices and asks if it's different than the trillion other contractions I've had since she's been there. It is and I mention that this might be it. Hold off on making an announcement to Jay since he's already been involved in 2 false alarms. 5 minutes go by and I feel another strong contractions. These are definitely different so I alert Jay that I think we might need to go to the hospital. I don't call my Dr. or his office because it's #3, it's Sunday and they usually do it at the hospital. I just don't want to be a bother. Plus, I'm not totally sure of myself. You'd think with #3 that you would be more confident about real labor vs. false labor but at 40 weeks I was in unfamiliar territory and unsure of anything. We get in the van and drive and I have some major gutbusters on the way. It's about a 15 minute drive and I want an epidural for sure. At the hospital, we park in the emergency room parking log and walk into the building. Jay wants to get me in a wheelchair right away but I ignore him and start down the hall. The Labor and Deliver wing is new and really quite a ways from the emergency room. About 20 ft into the hallway I double over with pain. 2 Radiology techs that know Jay see us and get me a wheelchair. Jay pushes me the rest of the way and I'm totally that woman with one hand covering her eyes and the other on her belly, moaning.

We arrive at Labor and Delivery and the nurse at the front desk informs us that there isn't a clean labor room at the moment and to wait in the waiting room while they prepare one. We sit on a hard, round couch in a room that has several vending machines, a play area for kids, a T.V. playing a football game and several other people that I will describe as loud, vulgar and hyper. I get through each contraction by focusing on a speck of dirt or paper on the carpet and counting. Jay rubs my back and tries to get me to a happy place but the obnoxious crowd is causing quite a scene at the vending machines and they are ruining my groove. 15=20 minutes pass and finally a nurse instructs us to follow her to a bathroom so that I can provide a urine sample. We stand up off the couch and I have a contraction. She waits with us and then we follow her. As soon as I start walking I have another. I manage to get to the bathroom and enter and lock the door (habit - public place). I immediately have another contraction and lean on the sink. On the toilet, it seems impossible to command my body to pee. After a couple of minutes of trying I feel enormous pressure and know that I need to push. I pull the distress cord next to the toilet and start screaming "the baby's coming!" Of course, the door is locked and the nurse and Jay are yelling at me to open the door. It looks so far away but I don't want to have the baby in the bathroom by myself so I manage to stand up and walk the wall over to the door. The nurse yells to someone that "she's having this baby now!" and someone gets a stretcher. I can't remember getting onto it but I do remember being on my back watching the fluorescent lights go by on the ceiling. I am doing a lot of screaming and yelling that I need to push mixed in with groaning and bearing down. Somebody holds my legs together and we make it into a room that I realize is not prepared. They roll me onto the hospital bed so that I am on my hands and knees and several nurses work at getting me undressed. I do remember thinking how awkward that all was and wishing for some dignity. The nurses are looking for the equipment and calling doctors. One resident is assisting a C-section and the other never answers the page. My Dr. is on his way but there is no way I'm going to be able to hold off for 15-20 minutes. All the while is this uncontrollable urge to push. That's the best description of the entire labor -- out of control. I'm freaking out because I cannot stop pushing and the nurses tell me that there is meconium and I need the NICU team there so I have to wait. Jay recognizes the chaos pretty much takes over. He grabs my face with his hands and tells me to "stop yelling" and that I couldn't push. I don't know why but him doing that helps me to refocus enough to listen to a nurse instruct me to pant. Panting keeps me from pushing and I hear Jay say, "I'm a doctor, get me some gloves." The NICU arrives fairly quickly and I get the green light. It really doesn't hurt to deliver without an epidural, it's just really intense. Pressure, effort, feeling...all heightened. At 9:27 pm, Henry is born. Jay delivers the placenta and finally my doctor arrives to take over and Jay gets to be husband and dad. He was a star and gets a lot of credit for remaining calm and professional. Of course, he didn't have a baby coming out of his netheregions on the toilet either so weigh that in as well:)

Henry is an amazing boy. He's so bright and alert and happy. Anyone that knows him loves him. He has a smile for everyone and is very handsome. Totally worth the nausea, vomiting, weight gain, stretchmarks, freakish delivery, nursing woes and colic due to milk intolerance. Henry Carter is worth every bit of it

Oh...so kissable!

Book Review #1 - The Great Divorce

Not my usual read. In fact, this is the first C.S. Lewis book I have ever read other than "The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe." Of course, being LDS, I have read and heard innumerable quotes of his from articles and talks. We are a C.S. Lewis loving society. I read this because this book was chosen for the bookgroup I belong to this month. Dread is much too strong of a word but I admit that I wasn't really looking forward to reading this book. And it isn't because I choose to read fluff either. I like a deep novel. Perhaps intimidated is the closet description of what I felt. After all, if general authorities quote him, how readable could it be?

Overall, I really liked this book. The text was easy to read and the story flowed. That surprised me. Not that I wasn't expecting Lewis to be a great author but this book is definitely not limited to advanced readers. It begins with an unnamed man in line for a bus ride to somewhere unmentioned. His fellow passengers don't seem to be the kind of people anyone would enjoy being seated next too -- each with an obvious character flaw. The bus takes them to what is described at first as obviously Heaven but we later learn is just the "Valley in the Shadow of Life" or kind of the intro to Heaven. The grass is too hard to walk on for the newbie feet and each who has arrived is greeted by an angel who pretty much tries to convince them to follow them into the mountains where the real Heaven lies. In Lewis's afterworld, there are many who see what Heaven is like and decide not to be there. It is too hard or too different than what they want it to be like. They don't want to be different from who there were on earth and can't understand why they must let go of certain characteristics.

I think my favorite paragraph in this book is when this unnamed man's angel tells him, "...There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, in the end, "thy will be done." All that are in Hell, choose it. Without that self-choice there could be no Hell. No soul that seriously and constantly desires joy will ever miss it. Those who seek find. To those who knock it is opened."

Isn't that great? There were many moments in this story that I wanted to get out my highlighter pen and get busy. It was a very quick read: it only took a little over 2 hours to read. Of course, if you want to get serious and really ponder it would take much longer. But I read it like a novel...wanting to get a sense of the whole story. In that way, it was a bit disappointing. He doesn't do much creating a whole story as he does put a narrator in to eavesdrop on different peoples' first experiences with Heaven. When that person was clearly past convincing he moved on to the next "ghost" struggling. In the end, the book floundered a bit (I can't believe I am actually using that word in critiquing the great C.S. Lewis but then again....it is my blog!). His angel leads him on and eventually he sees a big chess table and suddenly real experience, time, space and all that is into question. Just for the last chapter, mind you. I found myself being a bit Sethesque and thinking, "what the..." something about lenses and visions and dreams and eventually he woke up. So we never were able to see what Lewis's deeper Heaven was like. And he scolded him to not report this experience as anything more than a dream. His angel says, "....see ye make it very plain. Give no poor fool the pretext to think ye are claiming knowledge of what no mortal knows. I'll have no Swedenborgs and no Vale Owens among my children....He has forbidden it" I guess in Christian theology, there have been experiences where visions were to go untold. It just didn't sit well with me. And that was the end. He woke up. To what end for this man? Did it make him better? More ready for the glory of God? I don't feel that unanswered question was necessary for the story.

There you have it. The first book review. My goal is 50 for the year. We'll see

I hate dinner.

No. Not eating it. Don't be crazy. I just can't stand the fixing of it. And since that's pretty much my job...it's something that has become a thorn in my side.

I went grocery shopping 2 days ago to get food for a week's worth of meals. That is usually my excuse. I just don't have the ingredients that I need. So we either have sort of a makeshift meal or eat out. Not all the time. Just a lot of the time. More than we should, for sure. Back to grocery shopping...I even braved the dreaded Walmart for this grocery trip. I loathe Walmart. I don't think I've ever left that store in a good mood. I just don't feel....safe....there. So, I have food. My freezer is full, my fridge is stocked with all sorts of good, healthy fruits and vegetables that will go bad in a few days because they aren't getting eaten. (I hope this isn't the case...but if history repeats itself....) Now the dinner preparatory period has begun and I just don't want to do it. I've been out with the kids all day and I just want to do something easier for me. Like....um....be at the computer? Or read the mail? I admit, I'm stalling. Eventually you come to the point of no return where it's just too late to get dinner going and the best option left is to pick up a pizza.

So what's my problem? I'm sure it's a mental thing. I just need to have a plan at the beginning of the day so I don't need to make any major decisions between 4:30 and 5:00 pm. Or use my crockpot more. The thing is, I've been able to get away with it because it's not that big of a deal to put down $10 for dinner (although I'm sure my parents are thinking tsk tsk). But the little ones are growing and needing their own kid meals. In fact, Seth eats so much that we're almost past kids meals being enough for him. So we are reaching an end of an era. Eating out is losing its affordablity, which I know it never really was, but now it hurts the bank balance more. I must cook! And now it's after 5:00 which means I need to get moving. Just thought I'd share.

The Reunion

Seth, Lucy, Sammy, Henry and Jay 2006

I love reunions. I love the organization, the togetherness, the reason to play games, the cousins, the food. All good stuff. This 2006 Hatch Family Reunion had some definite standout moments. Here's a recap of the event...

Arriving

We arrived dead last right after Jon and Tara who we caravaned up with so we had last choice of the bedrooms. We picked one downstairs but as I was bringing stuff in, Mom and Dad decided they didn't need the large upstairs master bedroom and put our stuff in there. Score! Emily was setting a lasagne dinner out so we ate and then went outside to watch the kids jump on the trampoline and visit. Jon and I played "pepper" (volleyball without a net...basically) and then we threw around a football.


Food


You have to credit Emily. We ate very well. Lots of goodies, fantastic meals and plenty of drinks!
No need to say more. August 1st is a perfect day to get back on track.

Waterton

Ansel, Connor, Alyssa, Seth and Sam at Cameron Lake

We had a lot of fun in the park. The house was in Waterton Village so just walking around the little town was a lot of fun. But the first full day we went to Cameron Lake and rented canoes. Jay and I felt unstable the whole time and so we were a bit tense.
The rental was for an hour and really after 20 minutes we were ready to go back. We looked longingly over at Jon and Tara with their sturdy rowboat. But Seth and Sam had a great time. After that, we had a picnic lunch and the cousins all played in the water. Amazing scenery, cold lake. We even saw 2 bears on the drive. Pretty cool but freaky too. I want those bears higher up! At least we were in the safety of our cars. And they looked pretty small.

Caleb, Brendan and Seth

The next day we drove up to Red Rock Canyon and went on a short hike and then the kids played in the canyon river. They definitely thought they were getting away with something since they all went swimming in their street clothes. We stripped Sammy down to his skiivies...looked a bit trailer park but he had fun.

All the cousins except Natalie

We rented these bicycle carts later on and I was surprised how hard it was. Again, an hour rental was way more than I needed or wanted. But we did it and I'm glad. Mix in some Tennis that the kids loved. Sarah and I played too. Well....play is a bit of a stretch. More like me chasing after balls I couldn't return.

Entertainment

Here We Go Lucity Lu (at least that's my way of singing it)

The family games were rockin! The first night, I admit, we were too loud. We had a good crowd until Midnight then everyone went to bed except Sarah, Jon, Tara and I (and probably Maureen since I'm sure she couldn't sleep on her futon 20 ft away with all of our noise). We've been into "So You Think You Can Dance?" and so we gave Jay some categories to dance. Contemporary, Jazz, Hip Hop (nice booty shaking) and lastly, the very underused Robot. We were laughing so hard but were told the next morning that we were definitely overly loud. The next night of games were some Tara brought. A really fun Family Feud that she created and "Would You Rather..." She personalized Would You Rather with stories from the past. The last night, was the family talent show. The kids were great showing off trampolilne tricks, songs and dances. Seth's talent was twirling a floatie around his arm! Sammy danced to the "Hustle" Some of the adults participated. Tara did some flips on the tramp. Sarah taught the kids the Tush Push. But I don't think anyone anticipated the rescue skills of Carl Hatch. Yes, he demonstrated the firemans carry

the hemlich and just a bit of CPR.
Finish that with the Bop and officially all of us were sick from laughing so hard. Later, we played Knights and Cities and some games Maureen provided. Good times.

Departing

We left about 9:30 Sunday morning. Easy drive home. Stopping on Cranbrook for lunch. We'll have a 2 year hiatus until the next Hatch Family Reunion. We definitely made some great memories in the meantime.