Sleep Begets Sleep

When Seth was three months old, I flew out to visit Jay's sister's family in California. She had a baby three weeks before I had Seth (although it was her fourth) and I had never been to visit her home. Jay was busy doing a surgery rotation and I didn't want to sit around at home feeling sorry for myself and overwhelmed (remember when one itty bitty baby overwhelmed you? Sigh.) So, I hopped on a plane to spend a week with Molly.

Like a lot of babies, Seth didn't sleep particularly well. It seemed he'd fuss and fuss and fuss and then sleep late in the afternoon. Rather than be glad that he was finally sleeping, I'd wake him up after an hour so that he'd be tired and "sleep better" at night. Molly watched me do this for a couple of days and let me in on her secret. It's a book called Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.

I won't bore you with all the book has to say on sleep but one of its tenets is that sleep begets sleep. That is, a nap won't ruin night sleep and night sleep won't ruins naps. Both types of sleep are different and both types are necessary for child development. Put more simply, I needed to stop waking Seth up. Let him sleep until he was well rested and he'd sleep better at night.

It worked. By four months he was sleeping twelve-thirteen hours at night and easily going down for two to three naps a day. I became a sleep Nazi. Playgroup at the church during nap time? Nope. (Although....come on...play group for a five or six month old? Let's rename it gab session at the church). Dinner at a friends? We better be home by seven or bring the portacrib.

Seth was an amazing sleeper. I had many, many people ask me for advice when they learned about his great sleep habits and I always recommended the book. I still do although it's been awhile since anyone has asked me. With Henry, I've lapsed into more of a sleep-when-we-aren't-doing-anything else philosophy. And we are both suffering.

I think regardless of sleep, Henry is my most willful child. Just yesterday morning, he woke up grumpy and I came into his room holding a sippy cup of milk. Unfortunately, I did not choose the right sippy cup. He likes the soft, silicone Nuby sippy cups and I had the nasty, hard-lidded, yellow Playtex one. Before I even got to the crib, he had flopped down and flipped from tummy to back a few times in protest. Thinking there might be another explanation for his irrational tantrum, I picked him up and handed him his sippy cup while we walked to a chair in the living room. He chucked that thing! Reeeer!

He has his opinions and I'm either worn down enough to give in or just doing something fundamentally different than I did with either Seth or Sam.

I diagnosed it yesterday as being sleep deprived. He's an awful napper. There are lots of days where he doesn't nap at all. He's only sixteen months old! Seth napped until he was five! I know, I know...I need to stop with the comparisons, but can children really be that different when it comes to sleep needs? I decided to set up a portacrib in the guest room so that he could nap in there where it is darker and quieter. He had a great nap yesterday.

The morning sun comes in really bright into the boys room whose window faces east. Henry has been waking up for the last week between 5:30 and 5:45 am. And not that happy, babbling wake up. Imagine a similar scenario to the sippy cup scene mentioned above every single day. So last night, I decided to put him down for the night in the portacrib to see if he'd sleep in later. I hate to separate him from his brothers because all three actually do great together and it's a habit and tradition I want to continue for several years.

He slept until 6:30. Not as late as I was hoping, but better. We dropped Sammy off at 9:00 for preschool and then ran some errands. I noticed he was calm and mellow in the car. When we got home, I played with him for a bit, cuddled and then put him down for a nap. He didn't fall asleep for over an hour but stayed in there playing happily. Finally, right as I was about to go pick up Sam, I checked on him and he was out. Instead of waking him up, I locked the doors and ran to the preschool. That might have been bad parenting but I'm conducting an experiment people!

He is still asleep! It is almost 3:00 in the afternoon! That is a four hour nap! I guess I should have written this tomorrow after I know how tonight goes, but the thing is, I already know. I've done this before. It works. He's going to have a great night because, oh yeah...SLEEP BEGETS SLEEP (I say while slapping my forehead with my palm).

I should have done this months ago.