In My Defense

I think I came off a little snooty in my last post. At least like someone with too high of expectations. Lest you think I'm some kind of monster mom who expects perfection, I thought I'd post Seth's classroom project... the diorama.

Proud as a peacock here!

Now, an interpretation.



He draws his scene from the Magic Tree House book "Polar Bears at Bedtime" by Mary Pope Osborne. The blue is the sky (which we had to change frantically this morning to black because....the story takes place at BEDTIME!) The white paper is ice. The crumpled up paper is a glacier mountain. The cotton balls are polar bears (big one is the mama and the two other blobs are the cubs). And Jack and Annie are on their side because they are crawling. And they are wearing brown because they found seal skin coats.

100% Seth. I had no hand in this at all. (Can't you tell???) He was so unbelievably happy with his work. I think I got five hugs as I was putting him to bed (he's physical when he's content).
I love that he's so pleased. And if that is the point (because I can not think of a single other one) than I'm glad they have to do this project.

He Blinded Me With Science

I kept waiting for Jay to blog about this. He complains about having nothing to blog about and this was definitely more him than me but it is too good to forget about.

Every year, Seth's elementary school hosts a science fair. Most schools probably do. Seth's school is particularly proud of it's elitist reputation and many parents go above and beyond to "outdo" each other. I've heard this is the case with the science fair and while we didn't want to compete, per say, we did want Seth to shine.

Ideally, Seth would have picked out his own experiment. But his suggestions were retarded. Not to mention untestable. (I hope you all interpreted my "being funny" tone and don't think I actually think my son is retarded - you never know with the written word). One of his ideas was to see who followed buses better, me or his dad. ??????? One was who could drink the fastest. I kept asking him what he was trying to prove and it was so clear in his mind but in the name of real science...I couldn't do it. I graduated with a degree in Microbiology and Jay is a medical doctor. His teacher kept saying "Seth's project should be amazing with you two as his parents." Um....no pressure. So, you see how the bus following project just couldn't be.

Jay came home with a great, easy idea he got off the internet about growing bacteria. Perfect. The trouble was in convincing Seth it was interesting enough to do. We prettied it up as best we could but he wasn't very enthusiastic. Jay went and bought the supplies: five petri dishes, and plain gelatin. We already had sugar and plenty of germs:)

Our first attempt didn't go so well. The petri dishes were plastic but obviously not sterile as we just picked them out of a big plastic bin at the store. The internet directions mentioned boiling for sterilization and we put the dishes into a pot boiling water. These were not safe-for-boiling dishes though. They totally warped. We thought we'd do a practice experiment with them anyhow and Jay mixed up the gelatin, sugar and water and poured the homemade agar into each container. When they were set, Sam, Seth, Jay and I all rubbed our fingers over the agar of our individual petri dish.

They weren't pretty but it totally worked. After a couple of days, you could see little colonies of bacteria growing on each petri dish. None of us used the same pattern with our fingers but as it wasn't the "real" experiment we weren't worried. Seth saw the little circles and started to understand how those circles were giant clusters of bacteria. He seemed more excited.

We tried again the weekend Jay got home and Jen and Christopher were here. Jay made the plates and this time they were perfect. This was going to be a controlled experiment. Seth, Ansel, Jonas and Sam each went to the bathroom and wiped. Seth didn't wash his hands and made zig zags on his agar. Ansel rinsed with water and made the same zig zag. Jonas washed with soap and water and Sammy used hand sanitizer. The hypothesis? That washing with soap and water would produce the least amount of bacteria, followed by hand sanitizer, water only and last of all the gross, unwashed hands.

We were a bit short on time. It was Saturday and the project was due Wednesday. Bacteria grow better in warmer conditions. Bright idea....put petri dishes in a warmer place so that our results show quicker. Jay put them close to our heat dish which puts out the most heat in our house. When he checked back later that evening, he realized his mistake. The agar had completely melted and was liquid again. Project ruined.

That night, while I was sleeping, Jay and Seth set out to run another experiment. This time it was Seth's idea. He wanted to see if different liquids weighed different amounts. Great idea! This is real science. With a measuring cup, Jay poured out a cup of water, a cup of all the different fat contents of milk (we seem to need all of the varieties), one of orange juice and one of maple syrup. Seth was so excited with his results that all of the liquids weighed a different amount! But, of course, they aren't supposed to. Except for the syrup. We tried to explain it to Seth that 8.1 and 8.4 were basically the same but the measuring wasn't exact but I think we just confused him more. He's big into numbers and 8.1 and 8.4 are definitely not the same! He still doesn't get it and when trying to explain it, we've realized that more complicated science is required that is way over his head. Actually, it's kind of over my head.

We ended up just skipping the science fair. Kind of sad but necessary. I don't think we impressed his teacher.

Seth wasn't even disappointed. The only reason he wanted to do it was so that he could pick something out of "treasure trunk".

He picked out a ruler.

Skipping

When I was in seventh grade, my English teacher made us all make a poetry book. We had to write a poem in several of the different techniques and one of mine was about skipping. I'm not sure what technique it was but it is written in the form of a curvy path (which took a great deal of effort in those early computer days). My poetry book is safely tucked away in one of my parent's bookshelves in Montana or I'd take a picture of it for all to enjoy. But here is the basic gist.

On my road of life, I'm skipping....then I trip and fall into a deep, dark hole (very dramatic) ....I shout at people to help me out or notice me but no one does...drama, drama, drama....I make my way out of the hole and start skipping again but now I skip with a limp.

Jay got his hands on this precious book back when we were dating and laughed as hard as I had ever seen him laugh. He started hobbling around the room mocking me as I chased him trying to get my book back. I was horrified that he would mock my earlier sensibilities. Alright, I admit now that it was overly dramatic to equate pimples, being a giant and freak among the boys (I was 5'9" by the end of the year) or the shifting of friendships that inevitably happens when anyone goes to middle school with falling in a deep hole but such is the view of a thirteen year old drama queen.

Really, I think skipping gets a bad rap. It's use is almost exclusively limited to being a metaphor for happiness or a motion young children use to play. But no more.

I skipped yesterday. Seth loves to skip and as we were walking out of the church building, he said, "let's skip." He has said this before and I've properly ignored him, but yesterday I was particularly loving him because he gave a great talk in primary and looked so dashing in his little suit coat and diagonal tie. Yes, I felt embarrassed because I didn't have a jog bra on and that's never pretty. Not to mention that if I saw someone (an adult) skipping down the road (in a skirt no less) I would make fun of her. I wouldn't roll down my window and shout out "loser!" but I would privately chortle and snicker. But, skip I did and I learned something profound on top of being the coolest mom ever in Seth's eyes.

It is a fabulous workout. I don't know why this hasn't caught on. It's way harder than jogging yet it's a motion anyone can do. It's free, low-impact, major cardio and fantastic on the quads and calves. After one block, I realized that I may be onto something. This could be the next fitness craze! Forget Tai-Bo, forget pilates....rediscover your childhood love of skipping! I dare you to try it. You could even use the guise of holding onto the hand of a six-year old like I did.

Oh....and the limp was gone.

Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda

I've been in a blogging funk this week. Thank goodness for book reviews to give me something to type! But every other thing that's inspired me has puttered out. Rather than lose them completely, here is a snippet of what could have been.

Positive Reinforcement

I don't like to cook. It probably stems from my dislike of leaving my house for mundane chores, choosing food for a week or more, putting it all away into cupboards that are unorganized and randomly arranged, realizing I don't have exactly what I need most times, making it wrong because I didn't give it enough time and I've realized most things don't turn out exactly how I expect them to, competing with my kids to have a conversation with Jay (that's immature but I'm excited to see him too!) and of course, the clean up.

But I get such positive reinforcement on the nights I do it, if all of those theories held true, I'd whip up a seven course dinner every night. The kids are thrilled with setting the table, Jay is almost giddy with delight at having a home cooked meal and time to sit and eat with his family and I lose the guilt of not providing for my man. And yet....two or three times a week (sometimes more) there is nothing on the table. Curious phenomenon.

The Babysitter

Somehow, I don't see this becoming fodder for any parenting magazine. Henry is scared of going down stairs. Going up....that is child's play. There isn't a stair, step, stool or elevation he won't master but going down has developed into an almost phobia for him.

I put out the gates at the appropriate time. Eventually I put them away when I realized that he won't dare come down. Not even with me on the steps beside him, gently tugging on him to go down backward on his belly. We call it the Belly Bump. It's worked with the other boys. But if I even reach for him to position him on his belly near the stairs, he speed crawls away. At first it was annoying because I hiked up the stairs every time he even whimpered at the top of the stairs (he is ALWAYS upstairs....they must be climbed) but now, I can leave him up there for awhile. I can even shower knowing that he'll never fall down those stairs. Well... he's fallen down once. Could that be why he's so scared?

Poor tyke.

Health Care

I went visiting teaching on Wednesday night and came home feeling even more grateful for the blessings I have in my life. Stable parents who ground Jay and me and gave us the tools for success. Siblings who we look up to and enjoy being around. A husband whose job provides medical insurance for all of us. I've thought a lot about health care this week. I really should save this for another day. I have a feeling we will see a significant change in how it works in this country during our lifetime. I'd like to look back and remember how it now so I have a clear memory for comparison.

Sisters

I've had some great interaction with my sisters this week. Sarah has been keeping me laughing all week with her dating stories (agony!), I'm planning a visit with Maureen this weekend, Tara is always good for an over the phone recipe (I love her mac and cheese!) and patient with me when I keep losing them, Jen sent me a coveted CD out of the blue (love it!)

it's so good!

and Emily is my online friend (I can't even remember the last time we talked on the phone. Blasted international rates) who I can always count on to give me a giggle.

Remember these?

It's been awhile since I've gotten a note with a box to check. I'm not sure where Seth learned it but it made me smile. He left it on my bed with instructions written on front to "open in the morning".

I accidentally cropped off the boxes on the bottom. He likes the card games!

When A Big Girl Runs

Runners are supposed to be little. Real runners are. But it's such an easy form of exercise and burns so many calories that I keep trying it. I've been doing the Couch to 5K program but have been stuck at week 2's schedule for about four weeks now. Andrea and I went to the gym twice this week and the first time it was like running in cement. Yesterday felt fantastic. I could have kept going for twenty more minutes. I kept getting faster and faster during my 90 second runs so that at the end I was running at 6.0 mph (which I KNOW is not really fast but for me it's a damn sprint).

The problem with the entire program is the public nature of running on treadmills as I do not own one. What to do? Walk discreetly, as to not draw attention to the pound of each footstep and save a little face? Or run like the wind, shaking the gym with the gyrations of the treadmill but making it a little more likely to eventually be at a size that does not cause a scene? If I had a million dollars....I'd buy me a treadmill....and a house big enough to have room to put it in....and some fancy pants to reduce friction.

Bye, Bye Birdie

What do you get when you mix 20 teenagers, a vocal coach who has never seen or heard the music before and a pianist who doesn't sight read all that well? A very, extremely, almost-too-much-to-endure, long two hour rehearsal.

I agreed to help out with the stake musical. I didn't want to get completely drawn in so only agreed to help out with the music one night a week. I was told that I would be taking small groups and soloists aside and helping them with their production, sound and overall musical performance. I went last night, stood in the back for about ten minutes while the director talked to everyone about schedules etc. and then heard her say that she hoped Sister Johnson showed up. I shouted out that I was there and she clapped and did a little jump. Confused, but pleased that she has so much confidence in me, I came up to the front awaiting her instruction. But there was none. She just turned it all over to me and left. And there I stood, looking at bored 12-17 year-olds, and a few adults who somehow expected me to teach them their music. Brutal. Guess I need to find out what Bye, Bye Birdie sounds like.

I needed to purge. Hopefully, this will clear my brain and I can start afresh.

Book Review #35 - An Inconvenient Wife

I've been in a reading mood all week. I have this stack from the library because all of my holds came in at the same time and it's just too tempting to pass up. I wish I was in more of a paint/declutter/get-ready-to-put-our-house-on-the-market mood because that looms nearer and nearer but in the meantime....I read.

Kelly A recommended this and I'm always up for a recommendation. The book centers around Lucy, a depressed socialite in the late 1880s. She claims to want to fit into her world of dinner parties, decorating houses and newest gowns but she is so unhappy and has fits of hysteria (mostly withdrawal symptoms due to her complete addiction to opium that was prescribed for her faulty uterus - ah....enlightened science). Her latest doctor realizes that she is not simply bored and unhappy, but that she is a caged bird. He uses hypnosis to uncover her subconscious will and promises as treatment to use suggestion so that she will find joy in the routines of her life. Under hypnosis, however, he discovers that she is severely repressed and uses his influence to "create" a new kind of woman to further his scientific research. When she becomes more opinionated, more ambitious, her husband is infuriated and embarrassed with what his high society wife has become. Of course, the affair between Lucy and her doctor doesn't help him feel any better, either.

I've always had the ability (to a fault) to get drawn into a novel. I feel the book. I felt melancholy when Lucy felt melancholy, agitated, annoyed and repressed when she did too. All this I enjoyed. I didn't enjoy the Chicagoesque ending. I'll stop there so I don't spoil it. A very interesting read. It doesn't seem that long ago but this elite class, the educated and sophisticated, honestly thought that the female brain was less evolved and that men needed to guide and protect females in all things (even picking out jewelry). That kind of talk enrages me but it was an interesting look at the history of depression and the role of woman. She was treated as such an anomaly for being depressed. Funny, but she would have fit right into today's world of women on anti-depressants. I wonder what that says about either of our worlds. Are we more repressed now? Are we caged birds?

Book Review #34 - The Namesake

I read this several years ago but when my sister, Emily, brought it to my attention again and told me they had made a movie I decided to re-read it. The Author, Jhumpa Lahiri, won the Pulitzer Prize for her debut novel, Interpreter of Maladies, which I have not read. But she is clearly a talented author and writes a well-told story.

The story follows a young Indian couple, together through an arranged marriage, settling and starting a family in Boston. They name their firstborn, a son, Gogol, after a Russian author who had great meaning to Gogol's father, Ashoke. When Gogol's character is old enough to have meaningful experience, the author tells the story of the awkwardness and adjustment first generation immigrant families have in the community and within their own family through him. I felt Lahiri's skills were best shown off during these earlier years when the conflict between parents and children was the greatest due to their immediate proximity to each other.

Later on, when both Gogol and his sister, Sonia, were adults, I was a little less sympathetic to each embarrassment, each cultural difference. I felt by that time, Gogol should have been a little more comfortable in his own skin but he never was. As much as this annoyed me, it is probably more realistic than writing him as a perfectly adjusted American who enjoyed, without guilt, all of the sacrifices his parents had made for him.

The one fault I have with Lahiri is her choice of devoting the narrator to Moushumi towards the end of the book for two chapters. I'm sure the author identified with her, and wanted to explain her character, but I thought it betrayed Gogol by letting the reader understand more about her than Gogol did. And her details didn't give us any more insight into Gogol.

I'm looking forward to watching the movie. Since we don't go to theaters, I'm sure I'll be renting it and it'll be awhile before I see it but for those of you who won't read the book, know it comes from a great book.

Here's the trailer

In Sickness and Health

Jay has been having severe acid reflux for months now. I can't even remember when it started but occasionally he has these chest spasms where, I'm not joking, it looks like he's having a heart attack. Freaks me out. It took forever for him to bite the bullet and go see a doctor but two months ago he did see a family doctor who prescribed an acid inhibitor. He took it faithfully for that first month with no improvement. At his follow up appointment, he was referred to a GI doc for an endoscopy. We were both actually hoping for the scope to show something...anything...that could be fixed or treated.

Duing an endoscopy, the patient is given a sedative during the procedure so Jay needed a ride home afterwards. I'm the obvious post-surgery taxi-driver. It all seemed simple enough...drop Jay off so that his truck would be at home rather than stuck at the hospital, pick Jay up when procedure is done. It didn't quite work out that way.

Jay is applying for his Utah medical license which is a feat of endurance. Yesterday morning, Jay said he needed a 2x2 picture of himself to attach to his application. We took the picture and I told him I'd get it printed out and sized. I didn't realize he wanted it that same day. I uploaded it to Costco at lunch time and soon after, he called to say he was coming home to drop off his truck and pick up the picture. I told him that it wasn't done but it would be at 2:30 if he could wait. That was the time he needed to check in at the outpatient surgery center so we hoped against hope that it would be done at 2:00 and drove to Costco. Of course the pictures weren't done so I told him I'd have them when I picked him up at 5:00 and maybe he could get it notarized then if the secretary was still there. I realize this is a lot of extra information...I'll get on with it.

I thought Jay was under sedation. I really did. And that he physically could not call me to tell me to pick him up. It's not like I'm an experienced picker-upper-after-surgery person. So at 4:30, I drove to Costco for the pictures and then drove to the hospital. With traffic it was actually after five when I parked and took ALL three of my kids into the hospital. I left in a hurry to get there by five so I had actually forgotten any sort of Henry support gear. No stroller, no bottle or food, no diaper. I'm such a rookie.

We went to the waiting room and I informed the receptionist I was there for Jay. She sort of looked at all three of my kids with distaste and told me to have a seat. About five minutes later, a nurse in surgical garb told me to follow her. We went past the big, heavy "authorized personnel only" doors to Jay's room.

There he was, with an IV, hooked up with oxygen, electrical leads, blood pressure gear and in a hospital gown (with pants on;). It was extremely disconcerting to see him as a patient. Unfortunately, he was still "pre"scope as the doctor hadn't shown up yet. The nurses explained that if the doctor showed up soon (and he was already an hour late so....they were sure he would) then Jay should be ready to go home in an hour as long as everything went smoothly. I told him I was sorry he was still waiting and then he gave us his ID badge and food pass and I went to feed the boys in the cafeteria.

We took our time and spent more than an hour downstairs. At about six-thirty, we went back to the surgery center where it was completely abandoned. There was no one to check-in with, no help to be found anywhere. I tried the "authorized only" doors which were securely shut. I was sure that Jay was in there just waiting for me so walked around for a while trying to find another way to get back into where he was. Finally, I tried his ID badge which unlocked the doors.

I'm not sure why they designed it this way, but in a hallway by the nurses station is a little play area for kids. Relieved, we plopped down waiting to hear word about Jay. Fifteen minutes later, a nurse comes out to apologize for how long this was taking. She was sure the doctor would show up soon.

What???!!!! I was out of tricks. My bicep was getting tired holding Henry. Good grief people....show some competency! I played defense with Henry for the next hour waiting for Jay to be done and was only mildly concerned when he started throwing Lego's down the hallway. No one seemed to be around, after all.

Finally, Mr. Late Doctor came to talk to me about Jay's condition. He showed me the pictures from his scope and what his plan to treat him was. And I had to listen with my "mom brain" which was also forced to deal with Sam and Seth wrestling over whose turn it was to turn over a fish block on a concentration game and keeping Henry from crawling down the hall (because if I held him, he'd just scream and I couldn't hear anyway). I'm sure he muttered to himself how I should have gotten a sitter and I certainly muttered how he should have shown up two hours earlier.

Because of the late hour, Jay could not recover on that floor. All but Jay's nurse had gone home and there had to be two people around if a patient was on that floor. The doctor, of course, was unable to stay the half hour so they wheeled Jay up to the 8th floor to recover. Jay was so out of it. He kept repeating himself and falling asleep. All of the boys were going bonkers at this point. Henry just wanted to crawl around which I wouldn't let him do on a floor with a bunch of sick, recovering people (gross, gross, double gross) so everyone got to listen to him shriek. No one seemed to be in any hurry to discharge Jay and we spent 45 gruelling minutes in that 8th floor room. Jay needed to prove to the nurse that everything still worked by going to the bathroom so when that was done, the nurse came back in and said that if I wanted to pull my car around, they would wheelchair him out. Faster than the toilet could flush, I was out of there!

The parking gods were kind and I didn't have a ticket on the van even though I had only put a dollar in the little, tiny slot to pay for an hour. I pulled to the front entrance and left the van idling so it would be nice and warm for Jay. Henry was past tired and screamed but at least the only people that had to endure it was me and the boys. Seth and Sam both read a book until I got the bright idea of letting them watch a movie (the DVD player only gets used on road trips...it's one of our rules but desperate times....yada, yada). I contributed to global warming by sitting there with my engine running for another 40 minutes. Jay fell asleep after we left the room and I guess they just let him doze for awhile.

Shortly after nine o'clock we silently drove home. Henry was asleep by this point...the boys watching Star Wars Episode II, when Jay tells me to pull over. He opens the door, steps out (barely) and loses his dinner. I'm feeling compassionate but also notice he's a tad too close to the van to avoid splatter so kindly mention that he might want to face out. A sick patient only hears the negative, though, and he snarked back that he was sorry he wasn't as adept at throwing up as I was. Soooooooo sorry.

Once home, I very quickly threw the boys in bed (no to stories, no to brushing teeth....ok....pray....but make it quick!) and went downstairs to find Jay asleep on the couch.

I can't imagine having a sickly husband. Jay is never sick. Well, never sick enough to have to go to the hospital or even miss work (he only lets himself be sick on Saturdays which is always fun for the whole family). I know I'm not striking a nurturing tone here and mostly focusing on the discomfort his procedure had on me. But this was my experience and it makes me appreciative of his health. He fully recognized how inconvenienced I was and felt bad. I feel worse that he had a giant tube stuck down his throat, lost his lucidity for most of a day, couldn't eat anything all day and then threw up what little he did and has this horrible burning sensation in his chest most of the time causing him pain. I hate it all but if I had to, if this was our life everyday, I would do it. He's worth it.

Book Review #33 - The House of Spirits

I hate that I didn't like this book. It's very well received among literary critics and Isabella Allende is considered a giantess of an author. I want to go to a book reading and eat strange delicacies and say things like, "Fabulous. Revolutionary. Extraordinary." Instead, I'm left reading finishing the book in my bathtub saying, "huh?"

Jay majored in Spanish and had to read lots and lots of Spanish literature. He loves books like Hundred Years of Solitude and Bless Me, Ultima. He has persuaded me to read all of these. He bought me this book for my birthday. I'm going to have to start putting my foot down.

There is a genre of Latin American literature called Magical Realism. This genre weaves a plausible story line, set in real life time and real life places with magic. For instance, the first chapter of this book starts with the narrator describing Rosa the Beautiful who had green hair, yellow eyes and transparent skin. And it's not "hair so yellow it looked green"- it's Green! When Rosa dies, she turns into a mermaid!?! Clara, one of the two main characters in the book is clairvoyant and moves tables, salt shakers, predicts the death of people and the outcome of elections. These things are not real but so many books are written like this and I guess I'm supposed to be wowed by the technique. I'm not quite sure what it's purpose it other than making a really goofy story.

Overall, there is a point. Well...several points. One, the evolution of progress both politically and technologically. The author contrasts the rise of Socialism/Marxism against country's history of feudalism and the upper class's puppeted democracy.

The other is the relationships of the characters. There is a similarity throughout all of the romantic relationships that the author probably did on purpose to make some point that I don't understand. She also explores the relationship between brothers and sisters, tenants and landlords and other random supporting characters. I felt as soon as I connected with any of these characters (which was very, very hard to do) the story shifted or the narrator took a detour (all glowingly noticed as well by critics). Rather than applaud with wonder at Allende's craft, I felt the entire story was manic phase after manic phase. Towards the end, I felt like I had been at a party all night meeting strangers and just wanted to go home.

For those more mature than me and interested in magical realism, this book would be perfect!

Thirteen Hours

That's how long I slept last night. My week and weekend caught up to me and when Jen and Christopher left, I crawled into bed for a "nap" and woke up at 9:30 pm. I came stumbling out of our bedroom and found Jay watching The Amazing Race. He rewinded it for me and watched it again with me. After that, it was back to bed until 6:45 this morning! Funny...but I don't even feel refreshed. I'm hoping that feeling will come soon. With no school, I need to be "on" but I would love a day where I could hibernate in my pajamas and read. In the meantime, until I can find that on switch, I threw on a star wars movie and sat down to get caught up in blogland.

Friday was an incredibly busy day. I had about 10 errands to run and felt like I was just hopping in and out of my van all day. My boys were generally good sports about it but I felt bad that Seth's day off from school was filled with things that are boring for him. We got home and picked up the house for Jen and Christopher's arrival. They showed up at about 5:00 and we ordered Mexican take-out. Christopher watched all seven kids during the concert and we left him 7:15. As soon as we got out of the van to walk to the cathedral, I realized I had a major problem. My new nylons would not stay up. I had thought when I put them on that the elastic in the waist seemed timid and that brief walk demonstrated its complete failure. I held them on with one hand until we were safely inside and then, making sure no one was around to see, hiked those babies up as far as they would go. Blasted walmart brand nylons! Jen left me to go get a seat and I met the rest of the choir in a back room. Every time I stood up, those nylons slipped down and I eventually went into the bathroom and just took them off.

St. John's Cathedral

The inside - great accoustics for the audience.

I was relieved to find out I was not overdressed. My sister, Maureen, is a choir director at a high school in Utah and in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir so has lots of fancy clothes. She sent a couple of concert black numbers back with Jay when we went there to interview two weeks ago. I opted for the black velvet top and skirt complete with Dana's jewelry. The men were in tuxedos and most women were wearing pearls or sparkles so I was happy with my choice.

Concert Black

Someone handed me a program and I was surprised how thick it was. It's the kind of program you get when you go see a musical or opera. I read about all of the soloists and our director, Gunther Schuller.

Gunther and me!

I was even in the program. I didn't know if I would be due to my late entry into the game but my name was at the top of the list of altos!

I'm in print!

The concert was really fun. Singing the music with the orchestra without any stops and all of the solos really brought both the Vivaldi number and the Bach piece come alive. Those men were true geniuses and the complexities of harmonies and counterpoint are phenomenal. There were no glitches, no big mistakes made and the audience seemed to enjoy themselves. I'm so glad I was able to be a part of it but sad that I just discovered this opportunity. It was kind of my break into the music scene here and now we're leaving. Maybe I'll be a little more proactive when it comes to music where ever we end up.

My one fan - thanks Jen!

Jen and I went to pick up Jay after the concert. He had to wait a little while for us but it was so good to see him after a week! He had brought home a box of See's chocolates and wanted to know all about the concert on the way back. I could tell he was tired after his twelve hour days of lectures and cases and lack of sleep from an uncomfortable bed and he crashed as soon as he was home.

Saturday, we all went to Staggering Ox for lunch before Seth had his basketball game. I thought it was really cool that they allowed these pass along cards in their restaurant.

I've always loved the Ox but now I love them even more!

Of course, they were nestled in between a gym membership raffle box and some gossip magazines but they were there!

Seth's game was hilarious. They got "crushed" again (Seth's words). I don't know what kind of basketball mom to be. The "as-long-as-they're-having-fun" mom without a care in the world or the kind that wants more bang for my buck and wished they had a coach that actually taught them how to play. I feel frustrated at his games. Seth is really excited about the game of basketball so having fun isn't a problem. But he doesn't have any direction! I took this video of him and unfortunately didn't turn on the audio but even this silent film shows perfectly Seth's style of play. It's called, "I'm open!"

Seth's open under the basket.

They can hardly contain their excitement.

At least they had a corner to play in

He spends most of his playing time "getting open" but I think only touched the ball once. But he's good on defense. Ah well...he's six, right? I picked up the mail when we got home and got a nice package from Bridget which I opened with an appropriate amount of guilt.

Thanks Bridget!

Not pictured are the yummy Hershey's truffle kisses which were quickly devoured:) Very, very sweet and thank you.

Jen and I went shopping at a warehouse store that sells mostly Costco returns and found a few things including the new Diana Krall CD!

You just don't know what treasures you'll find.

We got home and the sun was shining so we crossed the street and took all of the kids to the park for some needed outdoor play.

Sam and Jonas on some kind of teeter-totter

Gotta love the help from big cousins

Seth and Ansel work on their skills

Henry is delighted in his swing

Owen had a great time on the slides

It's been awhile since he's been outside!

Jen and Christopher went to see Annie the Musical that night and Jay and I had all of the kids. The four big boys slept in the bunk beds together, Henry was downstairs in our room and Owen and Sadie in the guest room. Jay and I caught up on all of our shows for the week (He only had three channels in his hotel room and I was gone every evening) and then talked to Jen and Christopher until after midnight when they got home.

Sunday is always busy with church. Sacrament meeting was a bit boring as they only had a youth speaker and then left 35 minutes for the high council speaker! Yikes! I felt so weary and it was all I could do to not sprawl out on the choir bench and go to sleep. After church, the boys played outside and we talked and fixed supper. The boys are such close cousins and it was fun to watch them play all weekend. They really love each other. Their close relationship will be one of the things I miss the most when we leave here.

We had dinner and then Jen and Christopher headed back home. The rest, for me, is a blur. I dozed in and out of consciousness while Jay did the dishes, did Seth's altered Science Fair experiment (more on that later), and put the kids to bed. I'm looking forward to catching up with everyone else!

The Grinch's Good Mail

I don't know how to write this because I'm going to look bad. In addition, other people might get their feelings hurt. Which is really not my point. Just keep reading. You'll see.

I was introduced to blogging through Jenny. I had never heard of a blog as a means of keeping in touch before May of last year. I had only heard the term "blog" in regard to news, Drudge report, election fodder, etc. When Jenny told me about hers, I read it for two months before I jumped in. At first I felt like a voyeur. I didn't have an account or anything and didn't know how to leave comments so just read without her ever knowing. It also never occurred to me to read any body else's blog.

I started blogging in July and went through that honeymoon phase where you read EVERYBODY'S blog. That was when I first learned about the catch phrase "good mail". I was impressed by everyone's thoughtfulness but also scoffed at the amount of time, expense, effort, and energy that went into all of it. As I wasn't involved in it, it was easy for me to be judgmental reading post after post about people's new treasures. I guess I thought it was a little showy. I can't believe I just wrote that and am sure I'm going to some kind of blog outer darkness for admitting it, but it's true.

If I'm playing the honesty card, I will also admit that the reason for my scorn was probably due to my own weakness and laziness. I'm a lazy friend. I love my friends. I love my family. But I am low maintenance and generally treat my loved ones the same way. It's like the jocks that make fun of the kids in math club. They make fun of them because they know they aren't smart enough to be in it. They might not know that's why they are making fun of them but if they really soul searched...

I knew immediately that this was a group that I couldn't be part of. I'm not cutesy. I'm not crafty. And let's not forget that I'm lazy. But I think I already mentioned that.

I mailed Jenny something this week. Nothing cutesy and certainly not crafty. In fact, nothing is a display of my skills unless you include driving through a drive-thru a skill. And I didn't consider it good mail. It was a good, old-fashioned care package and it took me three weeks to actually mail it. When I mailed it, it felt incredibly good. And the excitement I felt about her getting it felt even better.

Meanwhile, an unexpected package arrived at my doorstep yesterday. I opened it and it was the nicest card from Kelly with a gift card to Red Robin (which is our family's favorite restaurant). She said that she wished she could bring me dinner during my busy week but was using Red Robin as an alternative. And she seemed genuinely proud of me for this choir thing. I was very touched.

From Kelly. A girl after my own heart! I love the Fiesta Pollo Salad!

Today, a package from Dana arrived with an absolutely stunning, black onyx necklace, some lotion, candy and card. Pure kindness. It almost leaves me speechless (but not fingerless - I can still type!).

This picture does not do the necklace justice. It sparkles and is heavy. Quality stuff.

These are two women I barely know. I have no idea what Kelly even looks like. But, as Sally Field so eloquently said years ago, "They like me! They really like me!"

And the Grinch's heart grew three times today.

Thank you. You are beautiful women.

10 Things I love about....

Henry

1. He smiles with his whole face.
2. He's got the greatest little button nose.
3. He looks for me wherever I am.
4. He likes to clap his hands.
5. He puts his fingers through his blanket and wraps himself in it.
6. He'll flirt with anyone.
7. He's generally a good sport with his smothering older brother.
8. He's only interested in expensive gadgetry. He's all about technology.
   
9. He's cute with his mullet - and I thought it was out of style!
10. His blue eyes.

Sammy

1. He's got a lisp that he's working on. He can say "ssss" if he really focuses. So if he is trying to say any word the right way, he puts a long "sss" on the front it it even if it doesn't need it.
   
2. He usually doesn't complain about wearing his glasses even though I know he'd rather not.
3. He snores when he fakes sleep.
   
4. He plays "I Love You More" with me....and usually wears me down.
5. He's tough.
6. He pretends he's driving when I drive.
7. He likes to sing.
8. He's a great little dancer.
9. He's my gopher during the day.
10. His got the best big brown eyes.

Seth

1. He's a self-titled Math Wizard.
2. He's honest. Always.
3. He gave his two "big" valentines from his package to Heavenly Father and Jesus.
4. He'll try anything I make.
5. He's passionate about what he likes.
6. He's sensitive.
7. He follows instructions.
8. He always remembers to pray.
9. He's fun to shop for. He'll talk about his new...whatever...for days with great zeal.
10. He's a great example for his brothers.
11. *edited for one more - it was too good to omit* He thinks that wars must have stopped today because "who would fight on a love day?"
    

Jay

1. He's the best storyteller in the world.
2. He never criticizes me. Ever.
3. He's willing to drive crappy cars so that I don't have to.
4. He writes poignant poems for me.
5. He looks hot in pants (which is a good thing since he wears them everyday!)
6. He knows a lot about a lot but isn't a know it all.
7. He makes me laugh out loud.
   
8. He's a hands on dad.
   
9. He does his best to do the right thing, always.
10. He's in love with me.
    

Valentine's Day

I've never been overly sentimental about Valentine's Day. I never had one until I was married but neither Jay or I consider it our "special" day. My best memories of the day are the cards and gifts my mother would give us. I don't even think she did it every year but she at least did it once because I know I got a photo album once. Like I said...not overly sentimental.

With Jay out of town, I wasn't really concerned about this day but sometime this week, I shifted my gears from thinking it as a lovers holiday to just a love holiday. And I have three little loves that are not out of town. My kids don't generally expect grand gestures from me but I surprised them today with a pretty fun day, if I do say so myself. Everyone woke up early (5:45) and I let them watch cartoons for an hour. Then I dug out the heart shaped waffle maker that was a wedding gift that we've used about three times in the last ten years. I'll have to whip it out more often because the boys loved it!

Not super pretty...but they are just for eating.

When I got a card for Jay, I picked up two more for Seth and Sam (I just can't spend $3.00 on Henry who doesn't read, doesn't care and I don't save them anyway). I handed them their cards while they were eating and gave them both a few dollars. They don't get an allowance and only get money when they do jobs so they were very excited about their "free" money.

Cards and money. Simple and sweet.

I have read many, many articles on keeping the spark alive or showing love by leaving little notes for loved ones. I tried it out on Seth. I put one in his shoe, his glove, his backpack, his folder, his lunch box. I could tell he liked them because he got really hyper and told me all of these notes were SO annoying!

I didn't want Sammy to feel left out so I arranged a play date for him while I went into Seth's classroom for the afternoon party and took him out to lunch at Subway. I even got him the Kid's Pack with the toy (stickers) which I never do. Total treat for him. He was kind of confused about the whole day because his preschool party was yesterday and he already opened up all of his valentines. But he had a great time with his preschool friend.

I was the party coordinator in Seth's first grade class along with my friend, Alisa, and I have to say that the party was a great success. I'm not a crafter so I just left those out of the planning and we spent the time playing games. The kids were laughing and trying to win and there were no tears, or bored kids. On the drive home, Seth told me he wanted me to be the party mom every year, especially on Valentine's Day. His approval and pride in me was the best valentine I got all day.

The spread. Cupcakes, strawberries and Swedish Fish! And yummy red punch!

C-U-P-I-D game

Cupid Says

Valentine's Puzzles

We just picked up a heart shaped pizza for dinner and I think Valentine's day just found a convert. It's really fun to make an extra effort for the people I love. Now, if there could just be less pink involved....

My Kind Of People

As I walked to my car after last night's rehearsal, I thought to myself, "These are not my kind of people." I wasn't being mean. I certainly don't think I'm better than them. On the contrary, if anything, I feel I don't fit in among the vocal divas. There is incredible talent in this choir. Big voices and even bigger personalities. Everyone pronounces Bach - Baccccchh (you know, like they're clearing their voices) which I cannot do without giggling. It reminds me of my high school Government teacher, who was sure to pronounce words in their native accents. Coooba for Cuba, Hav-i-ee for Hawaii, and when she said Machievelli, I almost fell out of my chair from laughing.

I don't mean to pigeon hole anyone. I don't actually believe anyone fits in just one category and stays there and has no other dimension to their personality, but when people get in groups, and the group takes on a life of its own, I think in that instance, one trait stands out above the rest and at that moment - they are a "kind" of people. And my conclusion is that professional singers - as a group - are not my kind of people.

Which makes me wonder who are my kind of people. Who do I identify with and feel like I belong among the group?

Mormons. I think my biggest identifier is a Mormon or to use the now politically correct label - Latter-Day Saint. It is just so all-encompassing that it infiltrates most aspects of my being. How I parent, how I wife, how I work and serve and play. Mormons are my kind of people.

Moms. I think it's true when they say there is a mommy club. From labor stories, nursing, potty training, sleeping and feeding. It's impossible not to feel some bond because you just know how it is. Moms are my kind of people.

Sharers. As a certified sharer, I can't help but feel a strong connection to others willing to open up and let it out. I think that's why blogging has been so satisfying for me. I'd say, in most cases, that bloggers are sharers. Why else put your life on the world wide web? Now, I'm not including in sharers "too-much-information-too-soon"ers. Nothing freaks me out more than someone, I barely know telling me they are depressed, in debt, constipated etc. Let's build something first. Then let me feel your pain. Otherwise, you are not my kind of people.

Doers. My kind of doers are not to be confused with those who must have something to do at all times. I am perfectly content to be still. What I mean are people who follow through, who don't need their hand held and do what they say they are going to do. The opposite of flaky. I just don't enjoy people I can't rely on. I take plans seriously. If someone suggests a girls night out or a date night, or a cruise or whatever. . . and the consensus is "let's do it" then I mentally commit - start arranging my schedule to allow the activity to happen. I gravitate towards fellow doers. Let's just get 'er done.

Thinkers. My favorite thinkers are my dad, my mom and my husband. My biggest attraction to my husband (besides his cute bum which I'm sure by mentioning...I'm creeping my in-laws out. Sorry) is our conversations. He'll print something out that he read on the internet to share it with me. We'll talk about war or the Sunday school lesson or great inventions for hours. I am a wonderer and a ponderer. I want to hear both sides of a story and discuss them. I like to be around people who have opinions and know why they have them. People who have read something interesting and share it with me.

Of less importance but significant enough to mention are athletes - I'm certainly not world class but I enjoy physical competition and some of my favorite people have been those I high five after a game. Dancers - I've bonded with people in mosh pits to line dances. I love to dance (socially - I'm no performer). I miss dancing greatly. Also, people who struggle with their weight - most women would probably put themselves in this category but unless you REALLY know, you really don't. It's a shadow that haunts most minutes of your day.

This list is not comprehensive. It's just what I've thought of the during the last 12 hours. I think it's a pretty inclusive group which makes me happy. I guess most people are my kind of people in one way or another.

Blah

Man...relieve some pressure and all you're left with is a flaccid, lifeless Lucy. I have a serious case of the blahs today. I'm cold, sick of winter, lonely, tired AND have greasy hair (I really need to get in the shower). Jay is gone all week in San Fransisco. Henry is coming down with yet another cold. (SERENITY NOW!) I have choir practice every night this week except tomorrow night when I have a Financial Peace class at the church and then book group. I'm co-in charge of Seth's class Valentine's Day party on Wednesday afternoon which means cupcakes need to be baked and frosted, hearts need to be cut out and valentines made out. I need to go grocery shopping. I need to get our cash out and put into envelopes. Utah needs a certified copy of Jay's birth certificate and copies of his med school diploma which I need to go make. I have a concert on Friday night and need to find a way to pick Jay up from the airport. Jen and Christopher are coming this weekend which makes me wish that my house was more orderly. I need to help Seth start his science fair project that is due next Wednesday, and I have several phone calls to make which I'm dreading. Mostly because they involve me backing out of something (I can't go to stake musical practice on Thursday night, I'm turning down a nice lady wanting me to join an adult soccer league, I need to find a substitute to play the piano in primary that I said I'd sub for because I want to sit with my sister in church).

My brain feels like it is in slow motion. Yet I feel almost panicky at the same time. Send some cheer my way, please.

Pffffffffff

That's the sound of pressure being released.

Last February, when Henry was in the PICU, Jay had to leave to interview for two MSK (muskuloskeltal radiology) fellowship positions. At his interview in Denver, he interviewed with a well-known MSK expert who offered him a spot but hinted that she might be retiring and there was a chance that she would no longer be at the university when he came. We weighed the pros and cons and decided that the program there was a great program even without her and that the extra year of training would be good for his career. He accepted the fellowship position and for the last year, we have been planning on moving to Denver at the end of June.

About a month ago, the above mentioned radiologist sent Jay an email saying that she had, in fact, left Colorado and was working in Utah (part time at the University and part time at a textbook company) but that the situation she had left in Colorado was unfortunate. The department chair had left and as of yet, they had been unable to find a replacement. In essence, there was no one left there really qualified to teach Jay about MSK. Immediately after reading the email, we both knew that we would no longer be going to Denver.

In her email, she mentioned that she was attempting to work something out his behalf Jay at the University of Utah. It wouldn't be a full-time MSK fellowship because they had already filled their position (as had every other program about a year earlier) but that if he would be willing to fill in as Jr. faculty for body imaging, they could teach him MSK 50% of the time. We were both grateful for her concern for Jay's education and the strings she was willing to pull and thought Salt Lake would be a fun place to live for a year.

Several months ago, Jay asked me what I thought about living in Arizona. The radiology group that his residency is affiliated with (Inland Imaging) is opening a branch there this fall and they wondered if he was interested in going there after his fellowship. (Very unfortunately, they don't have any MSK openings here). I balked - rather loudly. It's hot there. I hate being hot. I think I burst his bubble a bit but you know when you get asked "So, where do you think you guys will end up?" about a million times during this medical journey - never did I consider anywhere outside of the mountain west. I have never been set on a particular place...but mountains, seasons, proximity to family were all included in my rosy picture.

When mention of this change of plans leaked to Inland, they started talking to him about going to work for them this fall in Arizona and doing a 4-6 month MSK training with them (they have never done this before and it wouldn't be a credited fellowship). I started to soften my position regarding Arizona because I could sense that it was an offer that appealed to Jay. And the more I softened, the more convinced I became that we could sincerely be happy there. Jay weighed both options and while he felt either choice placed an asterisk on his fellowship credentials, the Utah asterisk was probably the smaller one. After lots of praying, we both felt really good about going to Utah.

Then came another email from the program director from Utah saying that they had received a couple of applicants for the body imaging position so they would no longer be able to work something out with Jay. We both felt like the rug had been pulled out from under us...again, and wondered why we had felt so good about Salt Lake.

The talks intensified with the radiology group here and we were fairly certain that we were heading down to Arizona this fall. The idea that we were going to be done with being students, after all, was very attractive and my initial reluctance about living in the desert, away from any family and in a big city (all three pretty big strikes in my book) melted away. I actually felt really excited about it.

About two weeks ago, Jay received another email from Utah. They wanted Jay to come interview but they had worked out another way to fund Jay's fellowship. Now, he was going to get to do 100 % MSK (four days a week) and work as faculty at the VA one day a week. This offer was significantly better than the original one but mentally,we had shut that door and it was really hard to reopen. Why struggle financially through another year if Jay had a job that was great and where he'd be able to do what he wanted without a fellowship. We were both surprised that we weren't salivating at the offer. He agreed to an interview but we had decided that unless he LOVED it that we were going to Arizona.

He left last Sunday and interviewed Monday. He started his day going to a sarcoma conference and was impressed by the studies they showed. He got a glimpse of the kind of education he would get as a fellow and realized that a year there would put him at the next level of radiology. He'd get to train with this world-renowned radiologist that he wanted to train with in Denver but now in addition to her, there were four other really good MSK radiologists he'd be learning from. He came home and sheepishly told me that he really LIKED it. I have never been personally opposed to the fellowship anyway and really, what's one more year when you've already done nine?

Through all of this, Jay's nerves have been like a ticking bomb. He's a planner and his fellowship was taken care of a year ago! I felt so awful for him, to have to worry about this when his boards are coming up in June and also about how these changes affected our entire family. He hates feeling like he's just dragging us all around. And we both care more now with Seth in school than we ever thought we would. I get really sad when I think about leaving here and would love fewer transitions for him.

So, we had all of this pressure and I couldn't write about it! I couldn't even really talk that much about it (although I did with a few people because otherwise I would have exploded!) We are both very glad that the uncertainty for next year is over. I think this is the best choice for Jay and we have family in Utah so it will be great for me and our kids too. And after that, who knows? I think this makes Jay very competitive in his field. I think any group will be lucky to get him.

Book Review #32 - Folding Paper Cranes

I know...another book review...boring.

My mother-in-law started a family book club a couple of years ago where she would buy a bunch of books and then mail them to all of the girls. We were supposed to read it and then mail it on to the next person. In theory, we were all supposed to have different books at different times but eventually all end up reading the same things. Also, in theory, we were supposed to write down our thoughts and leave them in the book. I don't think either of those things happened. Books would build up in certain houses (totally guilty of it), or not read. For whatever reason, I thought it had fizzled out. But, last week, my sister-in-law mailed me two books that I'm assuming are part of the book club. One was Snow Flower and the Secret Fan (which I've already read) and this book.

It's a small book and the first thirty pages totally hooked me. Unfortunately, from about page 31 on...it kept losing me. It's a travel log, op ed of a man who served in the Marine's during World War II and then part of a group of military "volunteers" who were sent to experience what ground zero is like immediately after a thermonuclear explosion conducted in Nevada during the fifties. After witnessing the horrors of nuclear power, he left the armed services, used his GI bill to get a PhD and teaches literature at a small college in Colorado.

The title comes from a peace monument in Hiroshima. After the A-bomb destroyed the city, the survivors were called the Hibakusha. They were broken and wanted to teach peace and built this park to encourage the world to change. One twelve year old girl with radiation poisoning started folding paper cranes. According to Japanese tradition, folding one thousand paper cranes brings good luck but she died before she could finish. Her classmates finished her quest and a monument now stands where children bring folded paper cranes in honor of her.

I appreciated the author's effort. The world needs to be reminded about the devastation that nuclear explosions create...from the immediate carnage to the radiation fallout (the author himself had suffered bone cancer). But the book lacks structure and too often preaches down. His transitions were choppy and inner dialogue corny. I finished feeling disappointed that he had squandered away his chance of using his experiences as something meaningful and motivating. I had hoped for a better book.

Book Review #31 - Peace Like A River

My friend, Alisa, brought this book to our book group Christmas Gift Swap. I was the lucky recipient. Thank you, Alisa!

I had heard that this was a good book and interpreted those comments and the title into thinking that the book was going to be slow and deep and introspective. It kind of is. But it's also a page turner, which surprised me.

The story is told by Reuben Land, an asthmatic boy of eleven who searches for his outlaw older brother with his younger sister and father. Reuben believes in miracles. He has to. He has seen too many to not believe. His father possesses some kind of power to perform the impossible in Reuben's eyes. Strangely, as an adult reading it, I was torn thinking that the things he witnessed were either the fanciful imaginations of a wide-eyed boy or, in fact, wonderful miracles. I'm such a cynic. Yet a believer.

This book reminded me of two great books. One is To Kill A Mockingbird in that the father is calm and all-knowing...willing to do the right thing at whatever cost. Swede, Reuben's younger sister, is very "Scout"ish. The other book is The Life of Pi. Again, the narrator is a young boy who, in duress, witnesses miracles that explained, would not make sense to anyone else. They would probably even be ridiculed. But the boys still believed.

This book is peaceful and uplifting but also tragic, sad, funny, gritty....I could go on. Read it. It's a good one.

Six Unusual Things About Me

I've been tagged (this has never happened before - how exciting!) by Dana to list six unusual things about me.

1. I can cross one eye. It's a great party trick.
2. I often type things that I hear (without a keyboard - I just wiggle my fingers as if I had one). I like to see if I can keep up. Talks in church, talk radio, lyrics in songs...etc. It's kind of annoying to Jay when we're holding hands. He'll ask, "What are you typing now?"
3. I sleep with one foot outside of the covers. I think it helps regulate my body temperature. Camping gets tricky because of those sleeping bags! I get a bit panicky.
   
4. I like to make good time on road trips. It's why I like to drive. I'm usually thinking about my estimated time of arrival based on my speed and miles left to go. Keeps my math skills sharp.
   
5. I've been to a Nine Inch Nails concert. O.K. That's just embarassing but I really liked them my freshman year of college.
6. The only callings I have ever had at church have been in music or in a primary presidency.

Next...I tag Tara, Kelly A., and Christi