What's Next

So, I'm wrapping up my year of reading. I know, it's bizarre that I go from September to September, but I do. It makes the numbering really confusing as most people are falsely impressed with my #50s come March or so, thinking I've devoured that many books since January.

The last three years, I have had the challenge "seventy-five books" dancing around in my head all year, encouraging me to read and read some more. I've enjoyed this challenge, and love the many great stories that have touched and entertained me, as well as the memorable characters I've met from making this concerted effort to read and catalog my experiences.

However, a lofty number hasn't been the best motivator for me to read difficult books. Or books that I think might be difficult. In short, it hasn't encouraged me to read as many classics, both fiction and non-fiction, that I'd like to. I've wanted to read Les Miserables and The Count of Monte Cristo, some Shakespeare and LDS classics like Mormon Doctrine and Jesus the Christ for awhile. But, when I know I need to average around six books a month, these worthy giants get pushed aside for another time.

While I don't want to restrict myself to a "classics only" challenge, I am making their reading my main focus for this next September to September. Because I'm a number girl, I'm thinking twenty classics might push me just fine. Throw in a few book club selections and what are bound to be other just-can't-wait novels that find their way to my nightstand, and I'm sure I'll have plenty to read this next year.

Here's where you come in.

I can't read everything I want to in one year, so I'd like to know what you consider the very best of the classics. The "I loved this" or "This is important to read" books that your superior education has exposed you to. Tell me a book you love and why and I'll weigh your recommendation, hem and haw about what I want to read, and then make a plan. I've already bought The Count of Monte Cristo and checked I Capture The Castle from the library, so that's two. I even think I'm going to consider The Prince of Tides as a classic. Is it?

I'm excited for this year. I know I'll miss being that girl who has already read that book you want to know is any good, but I am considering this a bit of post-grad education. For free! Or, for a lot less than a lit class at college would cost.

Let the suggestions roll!

Book Review #76 - Sarah's Key

I read this a few months ago and this review has been sitting in the to-do pile for months. Then, it arrived via package as part of this mail exchange book club and I just finished re-reading it today.

I can't say it improved the second time around, but I did gain an appreciation for the importance of remembering this lost story now told that I didn't really grasp the first time.

Sarah's Key takes place in Europe, France in particular, during World War II. I know there are probably hundreds of details about this war I still have no knowledge of, I was surprised to have never heard of the Vel d'Hiv, or Velodrome d'Hiver, a round-up of French Jews by the French police in July of 1942. Thousands of men, women, but mostly children, even those born in France, were taken out of their homes, sent to the Vel d'Hiv, which was an arena used for biking events, separated from their parents, then sent to French concentration camps before most were sent on to the Polish concentration camp, Auschwitz.

Sarah's Key is really two stories, the historical one, with a thoughtful third person narrative following Sarah's nightmare. The second is a misused melodrama involving an American journalist, Julia Jaramond, living in France with her French husband and daughter, reporting on the 60th anniversary of this lesser known event in French history. All of these chapters are written in a tiring first-person and ultimately consume the historical story once the character's lives cross.

For me, it's hard to separate my appreciation of what I believe the morale of the story to be: to never forget past horrors so that we'll be less likely to repeat them, from the journalist's I-don't-love-my-husband-anymore banality, especially when Sarah's story all but ended with 100 pages left. The author forced me to wade through her modern mama drama to get Sarah's experience, and by so doing, completely overshadowed the more important story.

If you enjoy different angles concerning the Holocaust and historical fiction about this time period, you might like this. If it had really been about Sarah, I might have, but as this is actually Julia's story, I didn't.

Book Review #75 - Out Stealing Horses

You know when books have a flavor? This had a European flavor. The author is Norwegian whose very Scandinavian characters, Trond and Lars, create a feeling akin to those I had watching films at the International Cinema during college, only in book form. The book doesn't happen in black and white, at least not quite, but there was a definite filter on my mind's lens.

Subdued. Cold. Detached. Serious. Unexplained. Unemotional. Unhappy ending.

What more could you ask for in a book, right?

As dreary as I am making it sound, there are a lot of really good things that happen in this novel. First of all, I love the title. It's more complicated than it seems after the first chapter, and I love it when titles are layered.

Secondly, I think melancholy books about fathers and sons totally works. Men are such an unemotional lot, and the contained longing this older man has for the last summer he spent with his father is poignant.

Finally, there is an excellent quote. Many a book is supported by a few good quotes. I don't know if this will pass the test of time, but it should:

"You decide for yourself when it will hurt."

Can you feel the testosterone? They may be driving Volvos instead of trucks, but this is a book about men. And because I like men, and am curious by just how much they are not like me, I really enjoyed this book.

Book Review #74 - Tomboy Bride

I'm determined to get all caught up with my book reviews. Only three more! Whee!

I read Tomboy Bride as part of a church bookgroup that I decided to crash (it wasn't my ward) with the hopes of being taken up to the Tomboy Mine near Telluride as part of the book's discussion.

The tour of the mine and mountain ghost settlement never happened, but a really fun discussion with a member of a Victorian society present made the entire experience of reading this book a lot more fun than I expected.

As far as the book goes, I was enchanted with Harriet Fish Backus living as a new bride at 11,000 feet elevation in the winter. Her descriptions of an area I can well picture, because it's part of the mountain system where I live, were delightful. Delightful, you say? Yes, because she is a Victorian bride and this was no expose. It was an extremely optimistic, positive view about an unusual, and without a doubt, difficult situation.

The book doesn't stay in Colorado, however, and as the couple moved to British Colombia, Idaho and even back to Colorado, my interest waned. Her positive spin lost a bit of its charm as I more and more wanted to know what it was really like. Still, I loved the Telluride/Tomboy bit.

Book Review #73 - The Secret Journal of Brett Colton

I am not a kind judge to YA literature. I am especially unkind to LDS YA literature. After being told that I would cry, which I heavily suspected was untrue, I read this sweet book about a brother who dies and leaves his journal for his much younger sister to read when she's in high school.

There were things I liked. I loved how the mean girl character, you know, the popular, cute cheerleader who everyone is really afraid of, was LDS. I appreciated the author allowing an LDS character to be flawed, and not just because they've sinned. I also liked how the narrator, who is not LDS, has parents who are very wary of mormons for their missionary efforts. We're always told not to worry about coming off as crusaders wanting to baptize all our friends if we talk about the gospel with our friends, but this girl's parents see her LDS boyfriends as doing exactly that.

Those bits of realism aside, both Brett Colton (dead brother) and star quarterback and all around perfect guy, Jason West, are most definitely not real. At least, they didn't feel real. I certainly didn't know any male in high school that was THAT sensitive, THAT open, THAT thoughtful, THAT well rounded. I'm not being sexist. I didn't know any female that had all of those qualities either. Jason West, and his perfection, ruined this sweet story for me.

That's me, 34 year-old book snob, talking, though. I'm sure I'd be excited if my own boys liked this book when they become teenagers. It's clean, uplifting, and touching. It's just not very well written. So...that's a toss up.

Book Review #72 - City of Thieves

This book is great. Except that I can't recommend it to anyone.

The language is so foul, the conversations so...inappropriate, that I think it might offend most people I know.

I've tried to think if the book would be as effective without all the reference to sex. Maybe. But, the author, Benioff, would have had to create a different character than Koyla, the totally charming, reckless, and brave deserter who accompanies the narrator, Lev, on a mission to find a dozen eggs for a colonel's daughter's wedding cake. Koyla, as offensive as he is, needs to be there. His levity, during situations where no levity should be possible, push a hard story into its heartwarming category. Because, crazily enough, this rough, distasteful, harsh book that is filled with starvation, winter, war, cruelty, death, murder...almost everything bad that you can think of, ends up being...well...touching.

I shouldn't have liked it. But I did.

Even Koyla.

Especially Koyla.

Book Review #71 - The Music of Dolphins

I read this with Seth's third grade class. Last May.

I consider this Flowers for Algernon lite. The author attempts to teach a similar lesson, that people as experiments, don't always turn out the way we expect, but it doesn't really have the same aftertaste.

A girl survives a plane accident when she is around 4 (her mother and brother die), but is never discovered and spends the next decade living with an adoptive pod of dolphins until she is discovered, once again, but society. By this time, she is wild, or feral, and can't talk, can't read or write, and has no understanding of what's "normal" for human beings.

As much as they try to bring her back into the human fold, this girl wants to be a dolphin. She wants to swim with her family, and sing and move as she's always done. As her understanding of humans progresses, her desire to return to life with her dolphin family increases, until she eventually regresses and is allowed to rejoin her dolphin family.

Ya. O.K. then. I get the author is trying to write a story about what it means to be human, and how we can all be different, but...fourth graders don't understand girls who want to be dolphins.

Book Review #70 - Fifth Business

I think I am the most sad about leaving this review for too long. Because I had some thoughts about this that would make an interesting discussion. I'll attempt to resurrect some of those thoughts, but it might not be pretty.

I read this on Barb's suggestion, as the author is Canadian and the book was assigned to her high school daughter as a replacement for another book that had offensive material in it. Barb's review mentioned that she didn't think the teacher really understood her objections if this was considered appropriate.

If that is in fact what Barb thought (sorry Barb - I'm paraphrasing from memory. Please correct me if I'm wrong), then I couldn't agree more. This is a great book, but its lessons and themes are not what high school students should be studying or focusing on.

I love the whole idea of Fifth Business, which the author defines as a theatrical term used to label a character essential to the action but not a principal. Dunstan Ramsay, in a letter to the Headmaster after being disappointed by the school newspaper's article on his retirement, proceeds to give an account of his much-more-interesting-than-they-gave-him-credit-for life as a periphery character, a sidekick, if you will, to some very colorful and interesting leads.

What makes it inappropriate for high school students is the recurring theme of sex. It's not written gratuitously, but most people have sex and have issues with sex in their lives, and part of Ramsay's experiences or thoughts, center on his understanding of this act at various stages in his life. They are honest and worthy of thought and discussion....but not in high school! There is no depth of experience, even if someone that age has had sex, to understand the complexities of its power.

However, if you're not in high school, and want to read a well crafted novel about what makes us who we become, give Robertson Davis's Fifth Business a try.

Book Review #69 - The Angel's Game

From the author of The Shadow of the Wind, The Angel's Game is another gothic suspense/thriller that revolves around the power of books and authors. I know, who knew authors could lead such dangerous lives?

This is extremely fun to read. Just the right mix of creepy and funny and romantic. It all flows together so fantastically. Mind you, I'm commenting on what is actually the translation, so I can only imagine how good the original spanish text is. Or maybe it isn't. Maybe the translator is a better author than Zafron. I doubt it but you never know. I enjoyed reading every word and found myself turning page after page after page to see what happens next.

That pursuit of discovery turned into a problem as I'm still not exactly sure what happened in the end. Or what mattered. Or who. By the time all the revelations were being made, my zeal as a reader had disappeared. I just wanted things to make sense and they didn't.

I'd recommend it if I felt like I knew what this book was about. Maybe religion? Maybe the price of fame? Maybe people that never die? I'm not sure. So, read with caution. And if you figure out what it's about, let me know.

Book Review #68 - The Historian

Wow. Huge book. Heavy. Interesting. Long.

There are vampires (but no human to vampire love story - so if that's your thing, then this might disappoint) and a whole lot of history of 16th centure Europe, which I found really interesting. It's suspensful, but because I don't believe in vampires, I had a hard time taking the suspense seriously. I mean, this wasn't fantasy. This was written as a historian discovering that Dracula was really still alive, and would kill (or make you undead, which is different) to keep his secret.

Well written but the ending is frenetic and confusing enough that I finished feeling disappointed. I'm glad I read it, though.

Book Review #67 - Stargirl

I give up. I cannot do these ten books I have to review justice. I simply read them too long ago to have anything really meaningful to say. Here's just to remember that I read them.

Stargirl is a quirky read. I get its point - that it's o.k....even good....possibly even better....to be different. Stargirl, not her real name but the name she goes by, is a girl in high school who does things differently. At first she is laughed at, then admired, then copied, then despised. She never really changes, although at one point, she tried to in an effort to please her boyfriend.

Admirable (to be different, that is. Not to change to please a boyfriend), but I didn't believe it. I knew people who were different in high school. They were clothes that weren't "cool" and they might have even played a yukalele in the cafeteria, but they knew darn well that they were different. They wanted to be. The author, in an effort to make his character really different, wrote her as being completley unaware of how strange she was. Unaffected. Unmotivated to be different. She just was. I'm not sure that person exists. At least one that isn't autistic, mentally challenged, or from another planet.

Still, the lessons from it are sweet.

Stuffed

Today I:
Did T-Tapp Tempo Lower Body
Made Pancakes
Made Bed
Started dishwasher
Handwashed pans
Wiped off table
Put in load of colors in washer
Drove boys to school
Drove home because I forgot everything I needed for the day
Put colors in dryer and added a load of whites to washer.
Drove back to town.
Walked with Henry in the jogger for 3 miles
Dropped of dry cleaning
Made appointment with realtor to look at some houses tomorrow
Drove to park
Pushed Henry in the swing and threw rocks into creek for an hour.
Drove to library to return Jay's overdue books.
Watched Henry put on a puppet show in children's section of library, build blocks, helped him check out books and checked out a few of my own.
Filled up the van with gas.
Tried to get sandwiches for lunch but the line was too long. Went through McDonald's drive through instead.
Grocery shopped for the week at Albertsons.
Finally redeemed my stickers for two free knives (must keep out of Henry's reach as these are actually sharp)
Stopped for a soda refill
Drove home.
Unloaded and put away groceries.
Put chicken in crockpot for dinner
Got colors out of dryer and moved whites to dryer.
Folded colors.
Put away colors.
Showered
Straightened my hair.
Decided on an "only mascera" kind of day.
Got whites out of dryer.
Got a surprise visit from my visiting teacher. Chit chatted for 15 minutes before I told her I had to go.
Picked up boys from bus stop.
Made afterschool snack.
Folded whites while boys ate.
Helped Seth with writing homework.
Helped Sam with "All About Me" homework.
Went to shred chicken and realized crockpot was never plugged in.
Plugged in crock pot and thought of something else to make for dinner. Added an Italian seasonings packet.
Got after boys to do chores.
Helped Seth practice "Called To Serve" on the piano.
Emailed results from yesterday's "Emergency Contact Drill" to Relief Society president.
Loaded all three boys into van and took Seth back into town for football practice.
Watched Seth practice and Henry and Sam play soccer nearby.
Talked to Sarah on phone.
Talked to Jen on phone.
Talked to Relief Society President on phone.
Left practice to wash and vacuum minivan.
Stopped at Walgreens to get water bottles for thirsty boys.
Picked up Seth from practice.
Drove home.
Started rice and cream cheese gravy.
Put boys in shower while food was cooking.
Set the table.
Get boys out of shower and dressed Henry in pajamas.
Greeted Jay as he came home from his own long 12 hour work day.
Ate dinner as a family at 8:15 pm
Almost fell asleep at table but enjoyed listening to the boys tell their dad all about their day.
Loaded dishwasher
Did dishes while dad read bedtime story.
Wiped off table and chairs (rice gets everywhere!)
Swept floor.
Put away whites.
Blogged.

Do you ever think about the olden days and wonder how they spent their days? Did they ever waste time, or was there too many things to do? I always envision full days of laundry by hand, plucking chickens and mending clothes. Really FULL days.

Sometimes, when I have idle days, I feel guilty about..well...not having chicken feathers to pluck. This list is to remind me, on days when I am being idle, that while my chicken breasts come skinless and boneless, and definitely feather free, I can get a lot done in a day.

Now, I'm going to bed.

First Day of School 2009

I never manage to leave enough time for pictures on the morning of the first day, so the results are quick snaps at desks as confident boys let me know with attitude and words, that "one is enough".

Here are Seth and Sam on their first days of 4th and 1st grade, respectively.




They came home jazzed, talking at the same time telling me all about their teacher and class and routine and homework. I know the enthusiasm won't last, but I'm so glad that the year has started with such a bang!

Farewell Summer

Farewell mining for small, insignificant specs of gemstones.....

Farewell bouncy castle....

Farewell bungy trampoline jumping....

Farewell chairlift riding....

Farewell alpine slide racing....(Sam's hard to beat)

Farewell summit of hike skinny dipping (only Henry)

Farewell sandbox (probably not for a few more months. Darn it).

Farewell rodeo Sam....

Farewell barrel racing cowgirl...

Farewell bull rider....

Farewell rodeo watchers...
Farewell grandma's peas...

Farewell lake buddies....

Farewell skiing Sam....

Farewell skiing Seth.... (that's me in the water behind him. But neither he nor Sam need me to steady them anymore)

Farewell tubers....

Farewell boat drivers....

See you next year!

Book Review #66 - A Tale of Two Cities

My nephews were assigned to read this classic Dickens story as an honors English assignment over the summer. Seeing as I should have read this in high school (once again, I think I had the worst English classes possible), I told them I'd read it with them. School started for them this week, so I don't think I'm going to be spoiling anything by reviewing it now. At least, they should be done with it by now (Michael? Jacob?).

Surprisingly, I knew very little about this very famous book. I knew it had a great opening line and an oft quoted last sentence. But the stuff in between? Nothing. I didn't know the two cities were London and Paris. I didn't know it was about the french revolution and class warfare and sacrifice. All of that intellectual blindness came in handy as I was able to read and react to this novel without its fame interfering with my opinion.

If I take the dazzling name "Dickens" away and judge it on its own merits, I'd say I liked this book very much but with reservations. Characters who do interesting, noble or even bad things aren't great characters if you don't know or care why they do them. None of the players in Tale felt like real people to me. Charles Darnay, while good and true, was too good to be true. Same with Dr. Mannette. His unjust incarceration only felt unjust because Dickens told me it was so. Not knowing anything of his nature, until very close to the end, made it hard to cheer for his recovery when he was so dramatically "recalled to life." In fact, most of the character's motivations, including Sydney Carton's ultimate act of love, were given too late. I don't know if the slow character development (if any) was part of some great Dickensian strategy, but his flat characters did little to embellish the peaks and valleys of his very thoughtful story.

Characterization flaws aside, I can't deny the timelessness of A Tale of Two Cities. While very obviously about the french revolution, including colorful references to tri-colored sashes (I had a Les Mis song or two in my head), red caps and blood soaked guillotines, I felt Dickens knew then that the themes of retribution, injustice and class distinction were applicable for any group, family, or country at war with itself. Even more than the stories of my own country's more familiar (to me) Revolutionary War, or even its Civil War, Tale invoked images of Town Hall discontent over health care and the angry chatter found in comment sections online. Hate, in any form, is never flattering.

Dickens seemed to agree with this, and I felt it was fair of him to portray both sides, the aristocracy and peasants, as part of the problem. The book's tone at the beginning makes it clear that Dickens sympathizes with the powerless and poor. He exposes and ridicules the flaws of both France's and England's legal systems and both's inability to adequately administer appropriate justice. However, he doesn't stay in the working class's corner for long, as he's soon disapproving of their blood lust and anarchy.

Amazingly, anger, fear, and injustice are not really what this book is about. Instead, each negative is counterbalanced with love, friendship and selflessness. It was, in fact, the best of times AND the worst of times. Pretty much like today. Or, any period of time, if you think about it. Because light always pushes away darkness.

Dickens ends his famous tale by focusing on the better part - the positive. In Carton's own dying words, "It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to, than I have ever known."

You can't end a story much better than that.

A Gift

We'd been seriously dating for about 2 months when Jay's 22nd birthday arrived. He'd already wooed me with several impressive gifts, including a plane ticket back to Provo from his hometown after visiting during the annual family cattle drive (which is only a six hour drive. But, he didn't want me driving the treacherous roads all by myself. If he only knew then about my inner truck driver, he could have saved himself some cool cash. Still...it was pretty protective and sweet, just what a starry-eyed 20 year-old wants), but this was my gift-giving debut as his girlfriend.

I knew just what to get him.

He unwrapped his present with no idea what was hidden beneath the fancy paper. I hadn't given him any hints and he hadn't given me any ideas, so it was truly the blind giving to the blind. He reacted well considering.

It was a belt.

Hindsight and experience has made me well aware that this was (and is) a strange gift. But, at the time, I was desperate for one thing about my almost perfect boyfriend to change.

The braided belt had to go.

To bring him up to what I considered acceptible college-aged attire, I purchased a really expensive, thick, brown Lucky Brand belt with a heavy silver buckle. This was not your average belt. I remember going to store after store in Univeristy Mall to find the perfect one. Not too skater. Not anything cowboy. No embelishments. The buckle had to be big but not ostentatious. This was the perfect belt.

In a classic case of not being able to see the forest for the trees, I forgot some of the essential rule to gift giving (according to Divine Caroline):

Understanding the purpose gifts in general is essential to picking the Good Gift. With a few exceptions, gift giving has evolved as a form of symbolic communication. It actually says something about the relationship between the giver and recipient and is a reflection on the emotional bond they share.

Here are three rules to getting the Good Gift:

Tailor the gift to the receiver’s interests—Getting something in their sphere of interest demonstrates that you know them in a personal way that gives you access to their likes and dislikes


Make sure it’s something they’ll actually use—Getting something useful means that the person will come back to it often, giving them a chance to re-experience the warm feeling associated with the giver.

Look for something they would never get for themselves —I don’t mean that you should buy Aunt Millie the latest The Streets album. Rather, try to find something that they would consider a “luxury.” It doesn’t even have to be expensive, just something they normally wouldn’t treat themselves to. This shows knowledge of their personality, which reaffirms your connection.

In theory, I followed the rules. He is a firm believer in never going without a belt, so I included a belt as an area of interest. It was definitely something I was hoping he'd get a lot of use out of (and soon!) and he never would have gotten himself a nice belt. That was, and is, a fact.

But.

I got my brand new boyfriend a belt! For his birthday! As my first gift to him ever!

Lame!

I've made up for it over the years. If he's into camping, then I get him camping stuff. If he's into running, I get him running stuff. If he's into playing his trombone, I get him trombone stuff. I've mastered matching my gifts to his current mood. This takes attention. But not intuition.

Some people seem to have a knack for artful gift giving. They are able to give those perfect gifts without directions and without relying solely on the obvious and the easy for ideas. In other words, they manage to give belt-like gifts without ever giving actual belts. Or, in even more words, they find that perfect something someone wants or needs without the recipient even knowing they wanted or needed it.

One such person presented me with one such gift on my birthday. Before I single out this gift, let me preface by saying I had a delightful birthday. My family's gifts included a perfect day on the lake, a laptop computer I'm enjoying right now, and a lovely dinner with loved ones. I received several usable and appreciated gift cards to bookstores from my sister, Jen, and Vaughn and Patty. My in-laws and parents bestowed cash which helped me get a better laptop, my relief society president gave me a delightful Mary Ellen Edmunds book, my sister-in-law, Bekki, sent me tootsie rolls in all its flavors and my friend, Sue, took me out for a yummy Asian food lunch. Everything was perfect. I felt like a star.

One thing I was not expecting came via my friend, Michelle. She and her husband seemed really excited for me to open their gift, which made me nervous. You see, I am not normally paticularly moved by gifts. This can be a good thing, because I rarely feel bad or disappointed by the gifts I do get. But, it can also be a bad thing because I have disappointed a few gift givers in the past with my less-than-hysterical reactions. So, I hoped that my reaction would match their obvious enthusiasm.

My jaw dropped as I peeled away the tissue paper covering a first printing, first edition copy of Mrs. Mike. I felt flabbergasted because I was actually....flabbergasted. What in the world? How did this relatively new friend of mine know how beloved this book was to me? Was I somene who wanted first edition copies of books? Apparently, I am. Because I loved it!





I love its hard binding and yellow pages. I love the uneven edges and decorative chapter headings. But, mostly, I just really love this story. And Michelle figured that out.

She's got the gift.

34!

Nothing extraordinarily special surrounds one's 34th birthday. I suppose it's twice the number of 17, which has some awesome songs dedicated to the age (cue music by Winger, ABBA, the Beatles, Stevie Nicks), but, alas, no one has written a song about being 34 (100 years by Five For Fighting choose to highlight the much more aesthetically pleasing "33", which, I can't say I blame him).

So, to honor 34, which I've decided is going to be the best year yet, here are 34 things you may or may not know about me.

1. I don't like applying lotion. I don't mind once it is on, but I find the smeary semi-liquid mess in my hand annoying. Usually, I forgo it altogether until my skin starts to resemble an alligator's then I succumb to its tortures and deal with the goop.

2. If someone asks me what my favorite song is, I almost always immediately think of "When Doves Cry" by Prince or "Sweet Dreams" by Eurythmics. I don't think either song is actually my favorite, although I do like both of them a lot. Seems 1983-84 were pretty important as far as musical exposure goes.

3. I prefer full disclosure. I like to know who is all going to be at whatever I am invited to before I accept or decline. It's not like I insist or anything, but I appreciate when I know because I have been burned a time or two before (new years eve party with one other couple and their parents? Pretty much the start of me needing full disclosure).

4. I feel sad when land is ignored. Let me explain. There is a small patch of lawn at my parent's house that is separated by a walkway from the rest of the lawn. No one ever sits on it or plays on it or does anything there because it is too small and, like I said, separated by that walkway. It seems lonely to me. When I lived at home, I used to go and sit on it, just so that it got used.

5. Likewise, there is something about an abandoned road that almost brings me to tears. Seeing old highways with weeds and grass burying it alongside an interstate makes me wistful. It's not like I want to drive on it because I believe we should all be able to drive 85 mph while traveling, but I wish someone would.

6. I love all four seasons, but early fall is my favorite.

7. I hope that I'm always content with my pretty engagement ring. I understand the feelings behind the "upgrades" but I think there is something meaningful about wearing the original piece of jewelry that started it all.

8. Not to be morbid or anything, but I think I may die young-ish. I've had some dreams. That means, I'll probably live to be 100.

9. I don't like to finish products. Things like shampoo, moisturizer, sunscreen, foundation, soda, etc. I will almost always buy a new container before it's all the way gone and then start using the new stuff. Totally wasteful, but there is something anxiety producing about squeezing out those last few ounces.

10. On the other hand, that same feeling of anxiety arises when the garbage is approaching full capacity. It goes beyond just annoyance that the garbage is almost full. Like...it's stressful. I know that soon, I'm going to have to start mushing things down (gross) or things will topple out and only smaller items will fit. I guess it's similar in that whatever I need is running out.

11. I know so much more about NASCAR than I ever thought I would. So much more.

12. I'm a huge fan of the Tootsie Roll.

13. I almost like tomatoes. I've started ordering them on hamburgers and sandwiches (or, more accurately, stopped asking for the covert fruit to be removed) and can finish those now without any gagging. I've also recently begun to enjoy chunky salsa and pico. But, I still can't eat tomatoes as a solo food.

14. I think if you can afford to travel, you should. Go see the world and let the world see you. Honestly, I think of it more as a responsibility in acquiring knowledge and empathy than a luxury.

15. I'm still hoping to be a pedal-playing organist. I know all I need is practice.

16. My dream bathtub is one that has an overflow feature. You know, the water comes right to the edge and beyond. No more exposed knees.

17. Having a nice smile is something I hope I will no longer take for granted. After years of watching my front tooth darken, I finally got to the point where I didn't feel comfortable smiling for pictures with my teeth showing or, even worse, I could tell people I talked to were distracted by my dark tooth and were embarrassed for me. It's on the mend with some internal tooth bleaching I finally had.

18. I hope there is dancing in the eternities.

19. This is taking a lot longer than I want it to so the last fourteen are going to be random and probably not so deep into my soul.

20. I'm not a s'mores fan. But I'll eat them. Just for the chocolate.

21. I used to love to fly but now, if I can drive there, I think I almost prefer to. It's stressful, from the cost, to check-in, to taking off shoes, to sitting next to a stranger. I feel like cattle.

22. I wish I were more adventurous with style, but I've realized that I like clothes from the GAP (or Old Navy), like my hair on the blonder side and about shoulder length and shoes that serve a variety of outfits.

23. Marriage is more work than I ever thought it would be (even up to only a few years ago. I never understood those who said marriage was work because it never really was for me). Now that we've had some real stresses (illness, moves, jobs, Henry), I get it. But it's still so worth it.

24. I don't look good in blue eyeshadow.

25. I really love to sing. The less frequent the opportunities become, the stronger the desire seems to grow.

26. I've never had a manicure. Ever. Am I missing out on something?

27. I have a hard time eating meat off a bone (psychologically). Or meat with some kind of skin. Or really fatty meat. Or mixed meat. I'd be a vegetarian if I didn't like eating it all the other possible ways.

28. When I see pictures of myself, I sometimes think my eyes look crossed.

29. I'm really hoping this is the year when I can be consistently better. At flossing. At exercising. At eating the way I should. At visiting teaching. At wifing and mothering. 34 and even keel would be kind of nice.

30. If I ever do go to a NASCAR race, I'm paying for the ride-a-long. Going 200 mph with a professional driver seems like a good time to me.

31. I think Seth is like his dad. I think Sam is like me. I'm really not sure where Henry came from. If I hadn't birthed him in dramatic fashion, I'd wonder. Blue eyes, short, likes to put off until tomorrow what he can do today. Oh, wait.....

32. I'm a big time words of affirmation girl. To me, it seems like the easiest of all the love language (in case you don't know, the 5 are 1)words of affirmation (tell me you like me!), 2) physical touch,3) quality time, 4) acts of service and 5) gifts). Reading all the facebook birthday messages has pretty much made my day. Comments on this post wouldn't hurt either;)

33. Likewise, I will love you with words. I try to make sure I cover all the other stuff too, because I know we're all different and all feel loved differently, but it's how I show you I like you. I tell you. No mistakin'.

34. I don't like crunchy peanut butter.

There you go. 34 more things about me. I'm taking a big breath right now because I can. I love being alive. I love being me. I love having you all to love. Thanks for making my existence so sweet.

Book Review #65 - Cutting For Stone

I think the only way to motivate myself to write these book reviews that have piled up since May is to first write about the ones I liked best.

Cutting For Stone is definitely at the top of my summer "books I've read" list. Epic in nature like Steinbeck and Stegner, Verghese creates a truly memorable saga about forgiveness, family and death. While not the merriest subjects, Verghese treats them with such depth and variety that at the end of the hefty 560 pages, you have been treated to an uplifting story - the kind you can sigh about when finished.

Sister Mary Joseph Praise, while traveling with a fellow nun by ship on their way from India to an African mission where they are told they are needed most, becomes the ship's nurse after most of the passengers, including Dr. Thomas Stone, become ill with typhoid. While she successfully revives Stone, her companion does not survive, making Sister Praise's future uncertain. Both Stone and Praise leave an impression on each other as Sister Praise's trajectory eventually lands her next to Stone as his assistant at Missing Hospital in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. It is the setting of Missing Hospital (really Mission Hospital, but it soon becomes its commonly mispronounced name) that allows the book's many wonderful characters to develop.

Foremost of all these characters is Marion, one of the twin brothers born from a secret love affair between Thomas Stone and Mary Joseph Praise. Praise dies during childbirth and Stone, tormented by his loss and confusion, disappears. Marion, and his brother, Shiva, are raised by two fellow physicians at Missing - Hema, an Indian OB/GYN and Ghosh, an internist turned surgeon after Stone flees (he's literally "cutting for Stone", which is just one, and probably the most obvious, of the title's many meanings) raise the boys as their own until one brother betrays the other and Marion leaves Africa for New York to be trained in America's very different world of medicine.

The story can be complicated, with heavy doses of medical jargon that make it seem less accessible than it actually is, but plowing through all of the surgical details, even the sometimes uncomfortable female anatomical references (there is a lot of OB/GYN talk so if the words vulva, labia or vagina make you squirm, this might not be the book for you) is worth it. Like all great epics, the middle section can be heavy and slow-going, but the development is necessary to make the end as great as it is.

Highly recommended.

Book #64 - The Shell Seekers

I'm a little ill thinking about the books I haven't reviewed. There is no way that I can adequately review any of them with so much competition in my brain, but, I suppose I'll try. That or give up reviewing books I've read, which I'm not ready to do.


I believe the bottle neck came from my inability to write a satisfying review of Rosamunde Pilcher's The Shell Seekers. Not that it was a difficult book to write about, but that my own thoughts annoyed and troubled me so much that I decided I'd rather not share them.

But, that's the sanitized Lucy(which I'm kicking to the curb), here's what the real me thought of The Shell Seekers

It wasn't good enough to be taken seriously (heart beat elevated. O.K. Perhaps kicking wasn't exactly true. More like tip-toe-ing carefully to the curb).


From its supermarket cover (have you seen it? It felt embarrassing to have such a romantically embossed book in my hands) to its one-dimensional characters, the entire book reminded me of a heavyweight beach read.

So....what should get a "nice summer read" review instead trips me up for weeks. Why do I feel so bad about being critical of this book? Mostly, I think it's because many friends and readers I know love this book. But, I also think my stupor of thought is a result of a former self once being able to love this book. My tastes have changed.

It's frustrating, because I think the themes Pilcher wrote about are serious enough to do well. Inheritance, greed, sentimentality, playing favorites with children, staying in a loveless marriage, putting a relationship that never fully developed on a pedestal because it escaped the inevitable boredom, irritation, and complacency that all relationships eventually go through. These are things you don't usually find underneath a flowery cover.

Overall, The Shell Seekers didn't feel wholly honest to me. The situations did have a semblance of reality. I imagine most of us would have some serious introspection if we discovered a piece of art we owned was suddenly very valuable, especially any art we owned that was created by a beloved relative. However, the characters, written as people who you should like (Penelope, Olivia, Richard), or who you should not like (Nancy, Neil, horrible grandmother and husband whose names I can't remember) didn't have motives - or at least any that I understood. It appears to me that Pilcher confused having the coveted flawed character with having bad characters. Just because a character makes bad choices shouldn't make them bad. I wanted to know why Nancy and Neil cared more about money than their grandfather's painting. Was Neil a gambler and in debt and needed cash? Did Nancy think her marriage would fall apart if she didn't continue to be the lavish bride that her grandmother turned her into?

Why in the world would Penelope stay in her never-should-have-happened-marriage when the author has done her best to describe her as a free-spirit, raised by an athiest father and French mother who both could have cared less if she married the father of her baby or took a lover while her husband (who she hoped would either die or leave her for someone else) was at war, who placed a nontraditional value to things (wasn't that the point of the the symbolic painting? Most people would care to know how much it was worth. But not Penelope, who would rather garden and feed people large meals)? Why were Neil and Nancy so shallow and greedy? Because they were genetically like their father and grandmother (who were also inexplicably bad)? Why did Olivia get such a free pass from her mother? Why did we have to invest so much time with her in Greece with her old and linen-clad lover (who I kept imaging as Kris Kristofferson. Odd)? Was I supposed to really care about her gardener's epilepsy?

So many more questions that have no satisfying answers because, once again, I don't think this is meant as a serious book. In which case, I'm being snobby and critical. Or it was meant as a serious book and I'm being picky and callous. Or snobby and critical. Take your pick.

Oh my...this is such a bad book review. For the confused, I'll tidy things up. I enjoyed the book. I'm disappointed it wasn't more.

And that worries me.

Because that means I'm a book snob

Oh....curse you, Shell Seekers! Why did I ever open your abysmal cover with flowers and shiny typeface?


Why? Because there's a well known saying about books and their covers. And I fell for it.

One Last Drink

Ahhh....the season went so fast! I know they are having a fall show and all, but the finale? Already? Seems like we just got started.

I enjoyed tonight's finale. I LOVED having it at a large theater like the Kodak. Especially because it seems the venue made it impossible for the cameras to jerk me around like they like to do. I feel like I saw most of the dances and I liked what I saw.

First of all, I think Adam Shankman is my favorite guest judge. He brings such a humble joy to the judges table that every other ego maniac lacks. I enjoy his unbridled enthusiasm. I am a fan of his gushing. And I think his criticisms are fair.

Second of all, I think he stole a lot of Mary's thunder. Mary has always been able to be the emotional shouter and after Adam's squealing and standing, Mary just seemed to be copying. Even her patented hot tamale scream seemed staged, somehow.

Lastly (at least in the judges comments), when did Nigel turn into such a creepy lecher? I'm not joking, the big toothed Brit made some kind of leering comment about Jeanine or Kayla after every dance. Gross. Please stop.

Now onto the dancing. I can't believe how underwhelming Wade's routine was. I missed his kooky music and costumes. Obviously, choreographers like to try new things, but the routine seemed so mainstream, and so acted, that the dancing itself seemed almost secondary. It wasn't my favorite, and Wade is almost always my favorite.

Sonja's routine with Evan and Jeanine put the smile back on my face, however. Sonja definitely has a trademark style, and the same moves seem to show up in routine after routine, but I guess I like them enough to not tire of them. I agree with the judges that making up a dance about a girl who beats up on a wimpier guy was perfect for Evan. I'm annoyed that he's in the finale. He's turned into kind of a one trick pony, after seeming so versatile in Vegas, that I was happy for him to fit into a dance so well. Jeanine, of course, rocked it. Everything she touches seems to turn into gold.

I think, overall, this season had too much Tyce. When Cat announced Brandon and Kayla would have him as their choreographer, I audibly sighed thinking it would be a wasted opportunity for their considerable talent. Thankfully, he upped the ante a little bit and had them do something more than jazz hands and pulling faces. Still, I didn't like the music, didn't understand the costumes, and the story was never fully explained to me. But the dancing was great.

Now, Evan might not have a nasty bone in his body, but I thought he danced the boys routine almost as well as Brandon. He has moves! I don't know if you remember Benji from season 2, but he couldn't pull off a tough guy either, and audiences loved him. I think Evan has some of that same charm. I loved the choreography and wished the judges hadn't made such a big deal about Evan's sweetness. Brandon seemed a bit uncomfortable with all the Evan criticism too. I wonder if they've bonded this week?

As far as the girls go, I know Jeanine had a super show, but dancing side by side with Kayla, I saw a difference in fluidity of motion and interpretation. Hands down, I preferred Kayla to Jeanine. Kayla's motion, and her stillness, looked superior to me. The piece was interesting, and Mia is a genius (yada, yada, yada - can't have a show where that fact isn't stated at least once) but the unsnapping of so many skirts was risky and both Kayla and Jeanine fumbled at different times. I'm sure the dancers stumble in almost every dance, but when it's as obvious as missing a snap (because while we might all not know what a perfect arabesque looks like, we do know what unsnapping something on beat is supposed to look like), the entire dance seems less polished.

Evan and Kayla. Those are two dancers that are not supposed to dance together. They managed to maniuplate the heigh difference with a barefoot waltz a couple of weeks ago, but, I'm sorry, they did not pull off this jive in cowboy boots. I can't believe none of the judges mentioned how awkward she looked doing foot retractions in her ankle disguising clunky boots. I keep trying to think of what ballroom dance would have been better for this pair, but I can't think of one, so, I suppose jive was it. So...cowboy boots I got. It's too bad for both of them that this was their last dance.

No 12 episode dance show should have three paso dobles, but thank goodness there was finally a good one! The music (intense), the costumes (they looked like vampires!) and the dancing all added up to eye glue. I could not take my eyes off of them. There weren't even any fancy tricks to make me ooh and aah. In fact, after watching the practice interviews, it seems they left some of the lifts out, but both Brandon and Jeanine are good enough performers that I totally bought this bull-fighting-or-whatever-it's-supposed-to-mean death dance.

As far as solos go, I did get goosepimply when Jeanette danced. I wish I liked her better. I've tried to pinpoint what it is about her that keeps me from being a believer, and all I can say is....it's her. Her neck, her big hair, her punch-you-in-the-arm personality. I don't know. Something. But, she had a great night and she just might win.

But, then again...so could Evan. Like I said earlier, he's this year's Benji (I don't know why they kept saying they had never had a dancer like him before. Has no one ever seen this show before???? Hello!)

Obviously, Brandon could. I've never been so confused about a dancer. He's all muscles and power and brutish man when he dances, and yet each interview he gives makes me think he just might have a few stuffed animals on his bed.

Me? I'm rooting for Kayla. She lacks in personality what a winner should probably have, but she's just everything I enjoy watching. She's my favorite dancer. Not my favorite television personality, but there is no dancer I would prefer to see in any dance, any style, any partner (except when she's paired with Evan), than her. Go Kayla!

Well...I'm water logged and bloated now and the boss wants me to get back to work. It feels so incredibly unnecessary to write about this show. I mean, I'm already admitting to some major time wasting by watching the three hours every week (although, to be fair, with DVR it's really only about 1 hour and 45 minutes. Sorry to you without DVRs.) Then, I can't imagine I, or any posterity, will care about these thoughts about a TV show in the future. Who? What? Why? Exactly.

Still...I've enjoyed our gatherings at the water cooler. It almost....almost feels like I'm actually standing next to one with some of my favorite co-time wasters:)

What Happens When I Ramble and Post Anyways

I've got no business blogging right now. I'm tired. I'm a leeetle bit grumpy (mainly due to the headache from fasting that hopefully will go away now that I'm fed). But, mostly, I've got no business blogging because I taught Elder Bednar's CES Fireside message today in Relief Society about Things As They Really Are, and the dangers of all things cyber related. (By the way, it's a good talk. Read it.)

Truthfully, his message struck a nerve. I'll make no bones about it, I spend too much time on the computer. No defenses. I know I do.

But, I also think that some really great things have happened because of blogging (I'm not so sure about Facebook. I'm still pondering the merits of that). Elder Bednar is very frank that using computers, or any technology for that fact, is not inherently bad. In fact, a lot of good things are accomplished by its rapid development. While I haven't taught any surgeons how to perform a delicate surgery with my virtual software, nor have I learned any aeronautical skills with flight simulators, I have shared my testimony. I have made real relationships. I have grown closer to certain friends and family members with this medium of sharing. Not to mention, there are some really, really good blogs out there. Don't believe me? Read her, and you'll get a daily dose of home grown inspiration.

Those are the good things. But, like I said earlier, I haven't solely used it for good. I have wasted countless hours surfing blogs of people that don't matter to me. Not that they don't matter. That would be mean. They just don't matter to me. I don't know them well enough to care about what they are making for dinner or how they found the time with four young children to reupholster their furniture. There isn't any validation, besides being a voyeur, for that time spent.

(Hours later)

Man. I just cannot finish a blog post anymore. And, you know what? I'm tired of it! I know that there are better things to do with my time. I know that my body NEEDS me to have better hobbies. But, it stinks to have something I enjoy singled out as a time waster. Where are the talks that warn about the hours and hours and hours that quilting takes away from better endeavors. Or candle making? Or, please, could someone high up condemn running? Just so that I can feel less guilty for hating it so?

Wow. That kind of came out of nowhere. I mean, you wouldn't suspect that I just gave a lesson about getting off the computer. And I meant everything I said. I loved his message. But, now I feel bad about wanting to blog, and that's not what he meant. I think I've had this guilt spinning around in the back of my mind for sometime. Guilt and boredom. My blog has just become so....sanitized...lately.

I've become sanitized. I'm afraid of saying anything interesting. Or maybe I just don't have anything interesting to say. I'm not going to knock blogging because, truthfully, one of the most annoying things ever is to read a blog knocking blogging. Seriously, talk about a conflict of interests. I've read them before and been just as irritated as you probably are now. So...now what?

I know the answer is moderation. That makes sense. It usually does.

Struggling to finish....no wonder I have so many posts stuck in draft mode. Publishing anyways.