Anticipation

I should be in bed. Or should I? I have to wake up in 5 hours to catch my flight. Everything is packed except for the toiletries I need to use in the morning and they are all in bags so I can't forget anything. Still, I'm sure I'm going to forget something. I always do.

All week, I meant to write a somewhat detailed post about my trip and why I am going and with whom but it never happened. All of that will have to wait but the short version is I'm going on an LDS tour that also happens to be a choir. The director is the head of the Salt Lake Choral Artists whose director was the man my sister, Maureen, studied under to get her Masters of Choral Conducting degree at the U. I'm excited to sing in a choir although my expectations of its caliber are pretty low. It is a voluntary choir, after all. Pay to play, if you will. Still, I can't imagine anyone with a really horrible voice would choose this particular Israel tour.

I kissed my baby tonight knowing he'll seem so big when I get home in 10 days. Sam threw up right before bed and I'm hoping that not only do I not get sick while traveling but that the rest of the family can stay healthy for Jay. He is taking five days off of work and Patty is watching Daniel on the three days he has to work and I just want everything to go as smoothly as possible. Sometimes, I wish my job were the kind that I could just mark which days I want off on a calendar and that was that. I feel like there is so much preparation to leave the job of "mom." I have cancelled most of the extracurriculars next week. No piano. No speech. No soccer. No scouts. I've shopped and frozen a meal and left a few recipes for crockpot dinners on the days that Jay works. I've bought a second car seat so Jay and Patty don't have to do the switch cars dance every day. I'm missing Sam's birthday and have a card and gifts waiting to be given. My brain is spinning, spinning, spinning wondering if everything is as ready as I can leave it, hoping it is.

There is anticipation. There is also a little bit of dread. Isn't that odd?

Of course, in ten days time, the dread will be gone and all of these responsibilities will be back and I'll be back to anticipating the next adventure.