After a bustling week, the house is quiet again. The sky is dark and cloudy, the air cool and fall-like (which normally would please me but today it feels joyless) and my parents just left me with a very vexing comment.
"I don't know when we'll see each other next," they say. And they mean it.
I don't know either.
So I suffer.
I'm not in the habit of needing my mom and dad at my side, so this melancholy isn't strictly caused by their leaving. Rather, it seems to have settled in post move. I have realized that few things cause serious introspection as forcibly as relocating.
So, that's what I've been doing today. Pondering the answers to questions like:
"Am I a good friend?"
"Are my children happy?"
"Am I more concerned about Jay's well-being than my own?"
Following last Saturday's inspiring General Relief Society Broadcast, I desperately want to take President Uchtdorf's counsel to heart and apply his message of attaining God's happiness through creating and compassion. But, it takes some effort and is certainly not immediate....so, in the meantime, I blog. Or, create, as I like to call it:)
Stay tuned for the fun, happy stuff. It's coming.
Friday, October 03, 2008
A Day In My Head
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11 comments:
I often underestimate the effects of a move. There's no doubt much to be gained by moving, but there is a loss too. Happy introspecting.
Funny you mention, "I don't know when we'll see you again." When I part from someone I love, as long as I have a re-meeting date, I am settled. Even if it's a bit ambiguous or a long ways away, as long as I have a target to shoot for I can happily go on.
I loved the talks, too. Creating and serving--are there two things that make a person feel more useful and good about life?
By the way, I love your new layout. Very creative.
Love the new look! I'm sorry you are melancholy today and sorry you moved so freaking far away. (that probably didn't help, sorry, lol)
You *are* a good friend and wonderful mother and Jay is lucky to have you and you him. Hope you are feeling back to your happy self soon!
I hope you have a good weekend. I'll wish you were here with us...Sending you lots of happy thoughts!
I have a hard time not knowing when I will see someone again- maybe that is the burden of the one being left behind. I like how Jane put it and can relate to that.
I think of the 'am I a good friend' question often and hope I am making strides. Looking from here, I think you are. Take it easy and have a great weekend Lucy!
That would be a very strange end to a visit to not quite know when you'll see your parents again. I've never really thought of that.
I love all your questions and think they are so worth your time. Anything in life that is important is going to be hard to do. I don't know why, but it seems like the most meaningful things are just not natural to us. This life was meant to challenge and help shape us into Christ like beings.
loving the all new look and yes you are a good friend. Enjoy conference.
Give yourself a break. A big move is one of the top 10 life stresses. It is hard not seeing your family. I have to depend on friends and my ward a lot which can be discouraging and often leaves me feeling very lonely in the mormon mecca. But I have learned that lonely is just a feeling and not an indicator of my worth. So far it has always gone away. I hope you find that fall happiness quickly!
hoping you'll be back with fun, happy stuff, soon. and ready to read (and be supportive) of the other stuff, as well.
the new blog look is nice, and somehow seems to capture what you're experiencing right now.
Hi Lucy!
I miss living close to you guys! Yesterday we finally hung some things on our walls...so it kind of hit me yesterday that we really are living here. Its a weird feeling.
Anyway, I like your new look of your blog!
I like your new profile blurb. I can handle your truth.
I can only imagine how hard it is to move, AGAIN. And I'm sure being so far from family makes it that much harder. But isn't it nice to know that you'll never have to relocate again?
I love that you're willing to share your down days while in the midst of them and am confident that I'll be reading the fun happy stuff real soon.
I love your new look. And I, too, loved President Uchtdorf's words. They seemed so stunning & fresh. And all the better if they encourage you to do more blog "create"-ing.
I've never made a big move married. But I see my sisters do it and it does take its toll in ways not immediately obvious. Good luck settling in (to yourself as much as to your location). I think you're fabulous.
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