Hand Ups Not Hand Outs

I have been insensitive. Last October, when we put a new stair railing in our home, we hired some Ukranians to do the work. I've made a lot of noise lately about hiring more "Russians" to do some work in my home. On Friday, when one of these workers arrived at my house to finish painting the bathroom, Christopher, who had stayed here overnight before he and Jen and their kids left for their Spring Break vacation, immediately said, "I don't think he's Russian. He looks Bosnian."

While Christopher might have an advantage because he has several Bosnian clients, it was arrogant and narrow-minded of me to assign a nation to these men without real knowledge. Especially to repeat it over and over. Christopher went to investigate and turns out he is Bosnian, and he's a Muslim Refugee. In fact, Christopher also discovered that some of his clients were from the same town as this man in Bosnia.

I felt like the Ugly American. I know it's impossible to tell what country someone is from simply by looking at them. And unless you are a linguistics expert, I'm guessing Russian and Bosnian sound an awful lot alike. To be truthful though, it was easier for me to deal with my frustrations by not really caring what language he was speaking.

Is it wrong that I didn't mind the extra $300 now knowing about their plight? Was I being a miserly miser earlier or a bleeding heart later? They certainly didn't ask for any sympathy and it definitely wasn't a hand out. They worked hard. They did a good job. Fair pay for fair work. (I sound like a union!)

What I'm getting at is that it felt good to pay them because I felt like it helped them. It must be hard to come to a new country as an adult and make a living without speaking the language. Although there were many frustrations, I'm glad I hired them. Even with their frequent smoke breaks and the heated exchange about white baseboards in my foyer (they didn't do them at first because they thought it would be ugly. Um...are they Martha Stewart in disguise???), I'd say overall, I'm happy with their work.

Later that day, I was the recipient of several hand-ups myself. One of Jay's friends from his residency called and asked if I would mind if he came over to edge my lawn. He was post-call and wanted to be outside (a very common effect from spending so many hours in dark rooms) but it's not like we are close friends. But he's a nice guy and Jay had asked if he had an edger he could borrow and I suppose he felt like helping us out. At first, he tried using his weed whacker but our grow-out was a bit more advanced, so he manually edged it all with a hoe. I was touched. Kindness matters.

Jen and Christopher once again helped check some things off my list. Even on their vacation. I really love those guys.

Today, I watched my neighbors girls for several hours because her sister's car wouldn't start and she had a hair appointment. Not really my cup of hot chocolate on conference Saturday but she's a friend and a freak about her hair. I knew her hair appointment was a big deal and it's gotta be hard to schedule things like that when you are a single mother. Later this afternoon, her boyfriend fixed our shared fence and a couple of spots of other sides of our fence. How nice.

Whatever all this goodwill is called, it really makes the world go 'round.