Sunday Thoughts

In junior high, the three wards that existed in my Montana town were split into four. Unlike the booming wards of LDS suburban strongholds, I'm not sure there was much necessity for the split other than the hope that by doing so, the church would grow.

I think it has but I never felt it during my remaining time at home. While our ward did have some large families to depend upon for stability, it also had what felt like more than its fair share of misfits. Before branding me as judgmental, please realize that I'm basing my perceptions upon teenage memories. Fitting in and being normal were way more important to me then than they are now.

Still, those less conventional members didn't have the cover more fully functioning wards tend to give. Their oddness was more exposed. And nothing showed it off more than testimony meeting.

I remember an uncomfortable moment when a transient looking man talked about seeing his dead sister walk through a wall. That felt uncomfortable. I remember another woman who faithfully stood each fast Sunday and talked about her nervous breakdown. Each time she stood up, I felt nervous. Nothing made me giggle as much as the pre-missionary who started singing Alabama's Angel's Among Us at the pulpit only to be joined by his parents (from the stand) and his siblings (from the congregation). But that was a missionary farewell and they've done away with those kinds of things. For obvious reasons.

Quirky church members aren't exclusive to Montana, however. It was a Provo ward where I saw an interpretive dance performed while someone sang His Hands in sacrament meeting (o.k...so it was enthusiastic sign language. But, boy, was she was moving!). And it was a Denver ward where a gentleman felt his testimony was best expressed by playing a song he composed on the piano.

Nothing like that happened in my ward today but the first few testimonies born were, well...odd. And rambling. And frustrating. I felt like shouting, "Don't we get how this meeting is supposed to work yet? It's not fill-in-the-blank anonymous where you get your few minutes to talk about how you've been feeling and struggling. It's testimony meeting! Bear a testimony!" But, I knew that kind of attitude wasn't contributing much to the meeting either.

I am ashamed to admit that my negative attitude affected each of my subsequent meetings. Sunday school was about the second coming and one member dominated the discussion with his own speculations. Things perked up in Relief Society but because I wasted a couple of hours being puffed up, I wasn't in tune with the spirit and missed out on most of the well-prepared lesson.

Elder Russel M. Nelson said, "Each member of the Church bears responsibility for the spiritual enrichment that can come from a sacrament meeting." That means, that I have a responsibility to gain spiritual enrichment in my meetings. Kind of hard to do when I'm too busy being critical of what's being said.

We had a lot of visitors present today and I think I was hyper-sensitive to my small-town ward's image. Pride fostered my embarrassment when humility should have been in its place. We are a church made up of lay-men - preaching, teaching, sharing and serving each other. Sure, some days it would be nice to have an eloquent professional up front sermonizing. And, yes, there are days, like today, when I think I would prefer if everyone bore a testimony of Jesus Christ. But, I'm also grateful to belong to a church that employs its members so well and trusts each one to share the gospel with others in the best way they know how.

I know testimonies are strengthened when they are shared - not just our own but those who hear them as well. I think of Alma the Younger and his great conversion and how many lives have changed because he shared and bore his testimony. What if Mormon, when abridging the plates, thought that Alma's testimony rambled too much and decided to leave it out? Millions of lives wouldn't be the same. My life wouldn't be the same. Our testimonies are meant to be shared - eloquent, polished or...not.

With humility, I testify that while none of us is perfect, we are sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father. Because we aren't perfect, Heavenly Father sent his son, Jesus Christ, to atone for our sins and make it possibile for us to repent and become perfect, so that we can return and live with Him. I believe this knowledge, as well as the keys and powers of the priesthood that open the gate to His kingdom were restored by Joseph Smith. I believe that Heavenly Father loves all His children, and is no respecter of persons.

While I will stick to my guns about Alabama singles being inappropriate for sacrament meeting, I do hope that I will have a better attitude next month.