Preparation

Oh, how I loved conference this weekend. I remember, while growing up, having to sit for ONE session, usually of our choosing. I remember my cousin, who seemed like an aunt, having her children take notes and me finding that bothersome and goody-goody. (Whoa....I didn't even realize my attitude had taken on that tone so young in life...but yes...those are my memories). I don't think it was until college that I fully appreciated that conference wasn't this boring weekend, watching old men speak with a black background.

During my freshman year at BYU, I was in Women's Choir and the BYU's combined choirs were invited to sing at October conference. It was still in the tabernacle and being that close to the general authorities was amazing. Here I was, a girl from the middle of nowhere, seeing the old men on the black screen. But, in person, they were powerful. Their whole beings emit a special glow...a happiness...a personification of truth.

Since that experience, I have never looked back and have tried to enjoy all sessions of conference every time it's available. This whole weekend was incredible! Every talk was filled with this eye-opening common sense that made me so happy to understand and believe this doctrine. Yes, yes and yes!

And the music? How Firm A Foundation just about made my heart burst. Seriously, it was burning. I cried during the entire closing prayer.

Best of all, I truly feel that my chastisement earlier last week, at the Relief Society Broadcast, was exactly what I needed to prepare myself for many of the talks given this weekend. I couldn't believe how many mentioned how precious our time is, and how much danger there is in wasting it. I am the queen of wasting time! I act as if there is an endless supply (which, honestly, sometimes it really feels like) but was reminded that I am here but for a short time, and am with the people I love and cherish but for a short time, and need to spend that time in service and purpose.

I wasn't hurt and defensive during Sister Beck's talk, which was pretty amazing (I want to be a Mother Who Knew!) and Elder Oaks talk? Inspiring! Thank you!

So, now I seek balance and faith. Faith, because I need to practice was President Hinckley taught. That to gain a testimony of a principle, I need to live the principle. I know there will be days when I will not want to give up my time wasting ways. I've been doing it for but a week now, and I'd say of the seven days, five of them have had some major grumpy episodes. But I'm not giving up.

As far as balance, I still need to be me. I have found some, who perhaps have caught the vision and are simply trying, who alienate themselves from other women with what appears to be a judgmental attitude or accusatory tone about other family's and women's choices. That is what I don't want. I just want to keep on striving.

Thanks to many of you for your encouragement and support. Change is uncomfortable. Change is sometimes hard on relationships. But I don't think the Lord has prepared me for this change to abandon me now. I'm moving on.