Thoughts I've Had Today

With the ten minutes I probably have before Daniel wakes up, I thought I'd purge some of the thoughts I have had during the many, many sedentary hours of my life today.

I truly have a disorder when it comes to mailing things. I need to ship the SECOND broken CHI blowdryer since I purchased it in October. To avoid cluter, I threw away my cheap, functioning Revlon blowdryer I got at Wal-Mart when I splurged on this fancy contraption. The first made sounds that made me scared for my safety when turning it on and the second just no longer turns on. Why can't things, in particular, expensive things that are supposed to be better made, simply work the way they claim to? I need to get it shipped back to my sister who purchased it for me via her friend who is a professional stylist at one of those places where you have to have a license to buy things. I've been looking at the blasted thing for a week. I've also been staring at a pack of Thank-You notes I've written that I need to mail. It was a good thing my sister, Jen, did the birthday invitations for Sam's party this coming week or I'm certain they'd still be staring back at me, causing me anxiety, as well.

Seth wrote a really sweet essay for his Language Arts class at school about his baby brother. I helped him edit it and it broke my heart a little that his concluding sentence was that even though Daniel's birth means even less personal attention from his parents, he is happy that Daniel is a part of his family. Ouch. But I'm glad he's glad. I have only washed Seth's gym clothes twice...TWICE since school started. He's got to stink. When do boys become embarrassed by stuff like that and start caring more about their hygiene?

Whatever happy hormones have been pumping through my system to keep away my persistent chin acne seem to have disappeared. I hope the Mary Kay acne gel treatment I have been putting on works quickly.

I got an email today informing me of another meeting I'm supposed to attend to get preliminary information for a summer Youth Conference in which our stake is participating. It's next Sunday night and I'm not planning on going to it because Jay has to be there (he's in the stake Young Men program), it doesn't start until 7:00 pm, it's an hour away and I just had a baby. Additionally, I found out on Wednesday night about a broadcast this Sunday night I'm invited to watch to celebrate 100 years of Seminary even though I'm not a seminary teacher or a parent of a seminary-aged kid. Again, I'm not planning on attending because I'm barely handling the Sunday and Wednesday night responsibilities of my calling at present and as great as I think Seminary is, the youth in our area have a megastar seminary teacher and my presence isn't really necessary. It really isn't. My young women don't associate me with seminary. I want to be supportive but other than the fact that included in the Young Women program are high school aged girls that also attend seminary, it has nothing to do with me. Maybe that's a bad attitude. I want the youth to go. I think Seminary is a fantastic program. But, I'm still not going. I want to be with my non-seminary aged boys at home on Sunday night. I guess I wish that the messages that we get from Church headquarters, to limit meetings so that we can be with our families, and to attend all the things we are invited to attend, matched better. Instead, I live with the guilt.

We purchased the 9 acre lot that everyone assumed was already our land today. These 9 acres border the 15 that came with the purchase of our house but together, the combined lot makes more sense. Because vacant land loans are considered risky, we had to put a lot of money down and it was a bit sad to see our comfortable savings almost disappear but I'm glad our space, views and investment in our home are protected for the future. I have big plans to build a guest cottage on it someday. Waaaaaay in the future but it's a step closer to the dream!

I test drove a Toyota Sequoia when my sister was here last week. I really liked it but have no intention of buying a new one off the lot nor any intention of purchasing one anytime soon. I was just curious to see if I liked it as much as I thought I would. I did but now I'm getting three calls a day from the dealer. I think this borders on harassment.  I suppose they justify their stalking from the expense of the vehicle but it really is no different than a clothing store calling persistently after I tried on a skirt or pair of shoes.  It’s obnoxious.  If I had plans to buy it, I’d buy it.  Of course, they wouldn't call so often if I'd pick up the phone and tell them I'm not buying a car from them, but I think my constant non-answering of the phone should be message enough. I know my sister is shaking her head right now, but she shouldn't fret. I call blocked them. Now...my phone doesn't even ring when they call. It's like I became a black hole. Their phone call goes no where.

I had my first significant craving for a Diet cola today. I haven't had one since the day before Daniel was born and have been really content with ice water. I think when you're tired and bored and a tad overwhelmed from the personal freedom that is lost when nursing, bad habits can seep back in. I picked up a cherry limeade instead. Not healthy but at least it's not addicting. Unlike the Tetris game on my phone.

I really, really want to blog more than I've been able to. I have ideas. I craft posts in my head. But, I need time to write. And, even though I sit and sit and sit and sit, feeding and holding the baby and there will probably be a permanent indentation of my backside on the living room sofa, I don't have time. It's hard during the fussy days and sweet during the good days. And I know it won't last long enough.

I've become an overnight fan of Friday Night Lights. I love stories that focus on complicated characters that evoke sympathy because no one is perfect. This show is full of them. It's also full of inappropriate language and an unrealistic number of come-from-behind-fourth-quarter wins (this was aired during the pre-Tebow era, mind you), but I'm still enjoying season one on netflix. Is this what Texas is really like??

Baby's crying.

Post edit for one more thought.  I have significant blog regret on posts like this.  I feel overexposed and think I should just zip it unless I have something important to say.  But then, when I don’t blog, I have significant regret over the events and views that are destined to be forgotten.  That’s all.  Feeling sheepish.  Not sure why.