I Get By With A Lot of Help From My Friends

Since Daniel's birth, I have barely been alone. My parents arrived nine days before he was born and stayed for a week afterward and those two weeks, though filled with impatience, fatigue and soreness, are also defined with calm and exhilaration because of their presence. While growing up in their household, neither my mom nor my dad were my "buddy." I had a pretty typical parent/child relationship with each that was characterized with the expected idolization, annoyance, respect and rebellion.

Now that it's been nearly twenty years since I've lived with them, those feelings still exist in relative doses but that shift away from a parent/child relationship to an adult/adult relationship has created a genuine friendship. I simply adore my parents as individuals. The fact that the perks that come from being their offspring still exist is an added bonus.

My mom spent her days being my personal shopper, errand runner, cook and baby holder.  Every time she visits, Jay suddenly has a slew of shirts he hasn’t seen in awhile as she gets all of my ironing done.  She also brought her sewing machine and sewed me burp cloths, receiving blankets and sewed patches on my boys scout shirts.

My dad fixed hotcakes for his grandsons every single morning, much to their spoiled delight.  He also kept the house in tip top shape by constantly sweeping and mopping the floors, doing the dishes, feeding the cats (I think they miss him) and removing every speck of mud from the garage floor daily.  All of that help and order allowed not only my body to heal, but my spirit as well. I want my children to always remember their time with my parents.

My friend, Amy, wrote a poignant post after the death of her father about the importance of photos with those we love. I've been spacey with my camera lately, but remembered on the last day to take a picture of each child with their grandparents, so that they can remember. I didn't take my own advice and get a picture of me with them, however. Still working on overcoming my aversion to seeing me on camera.


 

 Henry needed extra special attention after Daniel's birth and Grandpa's gentle and comfortable routine was just the thing he needed.

 

 Helping Henry be a part of our family home evening by showing him the scriptures on his new ereader.

 

 Grandma loves newborns.  Daniel is especially fun to snuggle with.

 

 Grandpa with his four grandsons.

 

 With Daniel on the morning they left

 

 Grandma and Grandpa with the gang.

 

 With Henry

 

 With Sam (who cried when they left)

 

 With Seth, who my dad jokes is going to soon be taller than everyone.
 

I love the post laugh smiles here.

After the new year, my sister, Jen, left her own family for an entire week to come and help me get back on my mom feet. Her arrival after a week on my own couldn't have come at a better time. Jen has a special ability to calm me with her order and unconditional love of my children. She has always been so good to my boys and she not only made her mark on Daniel's first days, but also helped to make Henry's birthday special. I love having her around - to talk to, to help me get out of the house, to lunch with. I especially love her cheerleading ways. I feel more confident about my decisions when I make them with her around.

I missed taking my camera with me when we went to the dump but it's practically a tradition to get rid of my junk and get organized when she visits. This time was no different and several closets, drawers and cabinets have the "Jen Touch." It just seems so much more possible to do it with her.

 

 She encouraged me to use my Verizon upgrade promotion to get an iphone. I love it so much more than I thought I would. I really love the camera apps.

 

 She brought several cute outfits for Daniel with her and encouraged me to take some pictures of him in his soft velour Robot outfit.

 

 He started being more expressive the week she was here.

 





Last but not least, I am blessed to have Jay's parents and brother’s family just down the road. I took three weeks off from going to church but needed to be at Young Women's last Sunday. Karen and Vaughn picked up the three older boys for church last week because Jay was on call at the hospital and then Karen returned after Sacrament Meeting so that I could go for the last hour and leave Daniel safely at home. I have started pumping and feeding Daniel a bottle every evening so that he'll be able to nurse and bottle feed and he hadn't liked the bottle very much. Of course, Karen's patient and gentle ways converted Daniel to the cause and he drank this bottle with ease. She is the epitome of calm.

 

 

I don't have pictures of Vaughn's help but he has happily fed Seth and Sam's steers in the evening when Jay is working late or on call.  It has been very nice to avoid loading Daniel into the car seat at night and trying to time dinner around this daily chore and I appreciate his help (Jay normally does this with the boys).

Patty, my incredible sister-in-law, was Daniel’s first babysitter.  I was in charge of the mutual activity last Wednesday night and even though I know my Young Women are eager to see and hold Daniel, I am more eager to keep him healthy through this winter.  Patty came and watched Sam, Henry and Daniel while I took Seth with me to the church as he had to meet with some merit badge counselors, one of them being Jay.  Should have been a stressful night with so many of going in different directions but Patty stepped in, fed my boys dinner and I felt assured while gone for three hours that my baby and older boys were in good hands.

Obviously, I am blessed with an extraordinary family. And that blessing is made more sweet by the fact that these beautiful people are also my friends.