Book Review - Nurtureshock

I think it'd be safe to say that I tend to believe things written in parenting books I read when they "ring true."  In other words, I like reading books that confirm what I already believe, whether or not I already know it.

Nurtureshock is not that kind of book.  In almost every chapter, there is a finding that doesn't make sense until the authors break down the data that shows that it does.  It's a troubling book because it makes a very good case against "instinctive" parenting.  Instead, what Po Bronson and Ashely Merryman state is that some of our best intentions produce the worst results in our kids due to our wishful thinking, bias, fads, our own personal history and old psychology.

For instance, showing your kids episodes of Arthur and Clifford can increase cruel behavior and aggression.  Praising your child for being smart may harmful to his academic performance (even if he is really smart).  Assuming children are "color-blind" and not talking about race may cause children to become racist.  DVDs like Baby Einstein and other videos that claim to speed up language development or produce multi-lingualism can actually delay normal speech skills.  Other chapters cover why less sleep is a significant contributor to childhood obesity and ADHD, why kids lie, why gifted and talented programs are flawed, why siblings really fight, why teen rebellion is a sign of respect (gah!) and why I wish there was a Tools preschool program in my area.

I enjoyed reading this because it was really eye-opening and also because whatever parenting myth was being challenged, the data supporting any new claim was thoroughly explained.  It helps that Bronson and Merryman didn't back away from using all of he scientific jargon that usually causes my eyes to glaze over.  Most of the time, the opposite happened and the empirical evidence presented was surprisingly accessible while the flow between narrative and research was smooth and convincing.

It isn't often that I claim that something or someone changed the way I think.  But Nurtureshock did just that.    The "shock" in the title is no lie.  This shocked me.  In a really good and, I hope, empowering way.