25+34+15 = I Hate United Airlines

There is so much background information I need to give in order to fully understand why I cried for 15 minutes straight tonight. I'll try to be brief.

Months and months ago, Jay decided to go to RSNA (the biggest radiology conference of the year) in Chicago the week after Thanksgiving. He invited me along but, as you know, that is simply a horrible time to travel. I declined.

He also happened to find a marathon he wanted to run in Memphis, Tennessee that following Saturday. So, he made plans to fly to Chicago and on Friday, fly to Memphis, run the marathon and fly home Saturday afternoon. Kind of indulgent, but good Saturday marathons can be hard to find, and he trains so hard that he totally deserves to run in whatever races he wants to. I think.

In a completely unrelated melodrama, I recently auditioned and joined a local choir. It's a much higher caliber choir than what I anticipated a town this size could put together, and have enjoyed the weekly rehearsals, preparing Durfler's Requiem and Hovland's Saul. The conductor seemed very friendly and competent and I often laughed at her witticism and her fervent belief that no choir member should ever, ever hum their note when it is given.

Disarmed by her friendliness, I sent her an email explaining my unfortunate situation about having a trip, also planned months and months ago, to Disneyland with my family the week before our first concert. The tickets are paid for and it was on the calendar long before I even thought about auditioning. Apologetically but also feeling totally justified, I let her know that I'd miss the final dress rehearsal but would be back in time for the concert. When I didn't hear back from her, I approached her during the break of our next practice to make sure she'd gotten my email.

She was mad. She told me she didn't even know how to respond to a message like that. I was totally flabbergasted and meekly nodded as she informed me that she has a huge, huge problem with my absence and didn't know if my singing in the concert would be possible. She then told me to keep coming to choir until she let me know otherwise.

Now, I am very much like my sensitive children in that I hate to be yelled at. Even while I stewed about her decision, she called me and invited me to sing with her and the college chamber choir for the new president's inauguration the first Friday of October. Wanting to reassure her that I'm a team player, and totally flattered that she'd even think of me, I quickly told her I'd do it and we've already practiced with the college students once. We're doing two lovely pieces's, Staheli's "How Can I Keep From Singing" and The King Singers "You Are The New Day."

With what I interpreted as her olive branch not to mention her continued silence about my Disneyland conflict, I've felt optimistic that although she's unhappy about my frolicking off to California, she still wants me to sing with the choir.

Now, let me merge the two stories.

Yesterday morning, United Airlines called and left a recorded message about a flight schedule change. After much, much running around with their obnoxious automated system, I finally spoke with someone with a heartbeat and learned that Jay's return flight from Memphis to home had been changed and was now scheduled to leave much earlier in the day. Because Jay will be running a marathon and physically cannot finish any faster, the only available option was to have him fly home a day later. United offered a $250 voucher as a means to apologize for his inconvenience.

In a rush of love and spontaneity, I said to Jay, "Well, if you're not coming home until Sunday, and we have the $250 voucher, I'll come to Memphis to watch you run!" I've never been to Memphis and love traveling to places I've never been before. He hopes to run a PR on this flat, fast course and who wouldn't want a witness for a PR? 25 minutes later, our excitement led to a confirmation code for a round-trip flight between here and Memphis. With the $250 voucher, we were only out $166 out of pocket and both of us were thrilled with the idea of spending a weekend together.

Later that night, while driving home from choir, my heart sunk as I remembered that the choir's Christmas concert was scheduled for that very weekend.

I told Jay about the situation and he told me to stay home. He's felt my stress as I've lived with the near unbearable knowledge that someone thinks I'm flaky and don't take my commitments seriously and said it wasn't worth risking further scorn. I told him I'd sleep on it.

Today has been busy and I've been away from my house since 7:30 this morning except for the hour I came home to shower after swimming. Then, by noon, I was off again, not to return until 5:30 this evening. Throughout the day, I've thought about what I should choose to do. In all honestly, although I love singing and love Christmas songs, I'd rather go to Memphis to watch Jay. Rumor has it that the Christmas concert is not the choir's highlight and it's pretty low-key. Lots of caroling and quick to learn music. As there are only three rehearsals between our big fall concert and the Christmas concert, I'd guess the rumors to be true. In other words, maybe it wouldn't be such a big deal to miss this concert?

Except. The Director already hates me. Oh, I know she doesn't hate me, but she thinks I'm one of those whiners that wants special treatment. And, I guess I am since I bought a freaking plane ticket the same weekend as one of our concerts. Oh...to have those 25 minutes back! I'd remember the Christmas concert and although I'd feel bad that my weekend in Memphis with Jay wasn't going to work out, I would not buy that ticket. I'd honor my commitment to sing with the choir, no matter the repertoire, because that's what I signed up to do.

By the time I returned home, I had made up my mind to cancel my ticket. I knew it was the responsible thing to do so after I walked in from the garage, I went to the computer so I could have my email confirmation on screen the same time I was on the phone with United.

The have a full-refund policy if you cancel within twenty-four hours. I didn't know this, but was hoping that someone there would be able to listen to reason and if unable to give me a full refund, would at least be able to issue me another voucher to use towards the purchase of a future ticket. When I explained the situation to the English-is-his-second-language agent, he very matter-of-factly told me that he couldn't do anything about refunding the voucher, because it had been used, but that he could refund me the $166. However, there would be a $150 cancellation/change fee.

I pleaded with him that it seemed unfair that I'd lose $400 due to a few minutes of spontaneity and forgetfulness less than twenty-four hours ago. When I mentioned that, he perked up, saying that he could refund me the full amount if I bought the ticket less than twenty-four hours ago. I said that I had and after a few clickity-clacks on his computer, he said, "No. It says here that you purchased this ticket twenty-four hours and 34 minutes ago."

And that was that. Was there anything else he could do for me?

I hung up the phone and started to cry. 34 minutes. 34 minutes and I wouldn't have been out $400. 34 minutes and I wouldn't begrudge that Christmas concert. 34 minutes and I wouldn't have bawled my eyes out for the next 15 minutes.

Because now the entire weekend is spoiled for me either way. If I go to Memphis (which Jay is now INSISTING I not do) I will be out of the choir. I can feel it. I'll either quit to save myself the embarrassment or be kicked out because I can't manage to stay in town for a concert (as if I have this jet setting lifestyle). If I don't go to Memphis, I'll resent every single note singing schmaltzy Christmas carols to 200 people that don't really care and are probably all relatives of choir members anyways.

What's ultimately the most frustrating to me is how badly trying to do something spontaneous backfired. I just wanted to get away. To be young and uncommitted and fun. To do something with my husband. We had this voucher....and it seemed so....romantic and....

I do hate United Airlines for their stupid rules and inability to be reasonable. But, I'm mostly disappointed in myself. What a bungled mess I've made.