My Firstborn

I didn't grow up dreaming of being a mother. I don't know if any of you remember a song from Young Women's called "My Nature Is Divine" but there is a line at the start of the song that goes:

Why is it when I hear a baby cry
My arms reach out in love I can't deny?

My own feelings as a teenager and young adult were almost the antithesis of those lyrics. I remember singing:

Why is it when I hear a baby cry
I think, "Be quiet. Be quiet. Be quiet."

I used to wonder what was wrong with me. Why didn't I go ga-ga over babies? It wasn't until Jay and I were really ready to start our family, and learned that it wasn't as easy as we were lead to believe in health class, that I yearned for a child of my own. The day I peed on a stick and it finally showed two lines was probably my happiest day ever up to that point.

Thirty seven weeks later after seeing those double lines, Jay and I had finished the first week of a four week birthing class. Not many actual coping skills get covered that first week, but the teacher did manage to introduce the ever effective counting-to-ten-with-calm-deliberate-soothing-voice. Our classes were held at the hospital on Tuesday nights and Jay and I were ready for week two. Early Tuesday morning, at about 3:00 am, I woke up to use the bathroom and pulled myself upright on the couch (I'd switched to sleeping there a couple of weeks earlier. Our storage-unit special of a bed wasn't keeping me comfortable any longer) when my biggest fear came true. My water broke in a great, dramatic gush. I had pestered and pestered my doctor asking how likely that was to happen and was repeatedly told that great gushes rarely happen, except in movies. I was very worried that I'd be working, have my water break and have to leave knowing someone else had to clean it up. Obviously, there are worse things to be afraid of, but I was a bit obsessed by it. I was grateful I was home but still, I felt like calling my doctor and shouting "I knew it would happen!" at her.

I called out to Jay who immediately freaked out because we didn't have a bag packed. I guess they teach that during the second class. I called the message service for my OB and when the doctor called back, she told me that I should get to the hospital fairly soon but there was no great rush since I hadn't had any contractions yet and first time labor tends to be slower. I took a shower but didn't find it very relaxing as Jay kept poking his head in asking me where such and such was. Finally, he told me that we needed to go and I needed to get out of the shower.

We drove to the hospital, which was only a few blocks away and didn't really know where to park since we had never driven there before. Luckily, it was 4:00 in the morning and we could do u-turns in the middle of the street without any fear of causing an accident. As we got out of the car, I had my first contraction. Yowzers!

We checked in and I decided to walk the halls. With every contraction, Jay did all he was trained to do; he counted to ten. Over and over. I think there were some back rubs thrown in there too, which he totally came up with on his own:) We managed that routine for an hour when I decided I couldn't handle it any more. Back in our labor/delivery room, I requested an anesthesiologist to come and give me an epidural but when they checked my progress, I was already at a nine and they told me it was too late and soon I would need to push. The last hour, Jay kept counting with each contraction until it seemed like all he was doing was counting. I became a bit grumpy and told him (possibly in a stern tone) enough with the counting. It was so scary. We were just so unprepared for a fast, drug-free labor. A few more pushes and Seth Carl was born at 7:20 am. He was beautiful...and purple. I cried. Jay cried. Seth was screaming. Life would never be the same.

Three month-old Seth

Seth is an ideal firstborn. Obedient and sensible, he leads the way for his younger brothers. My greatest goal as a parent is to not mess him up. He was born with the kind of faith I pray for and a charitable heart. He's the perfect mesh of Jay and me. He's long and lanky and seems to have some aptitude for his greatest joy in life - sports. He loves music and reading and his friends but best of all, he loves making good choices. Sometimes to a detriment. If he doesn't think he has made a good choice, or worse...if I or his dad have told him he hasn't, there is some major self flagellation that takes place. He is his harshest critic and it can make parenting him tricky. How do you correct a child, lovingly, and avoid having him hit himself in the head or saying, "just sell me"? But there are worse flaws - right?

Considering the week I've had so far, I'm relieved beyond words that he had a good day today. Today we had our realtor come over and take pictures for the virtual tour and pamphlet and tomorrow, our house is officially "For Sale". I honestly didn't know how I was going to handle getting everything done that I needed to and still have this wonderfully sensitive boy feel appreciated and special. He woke up and we all sang Happy Birthday and I whipped up some Krusteaz pancakes. There were some tears after he kept teasing Sam that he got to have the first bite and Sammy put a big forkful into his mouth before the blessing. After coaxing him back to his plate, he scarfed down three big ones (and I'm talking about plate size). He walked out the door feeling goofy and happy and I told him I'd see him at school when I brought in his birthday treat.

Seth's "girl"friend Emma looks adoringly at him (I thought you would appreciate this picture, Andrea)

Lucky, lucky me...what does this great kid want for his school birthday treat? Easy-queasy-no-bake Sour Skittles!

Being the birthday boy is serious business 'round these parts.

I went to Costco to get a box and then to his classroom. When I walked into the room, his teacher realized that it was his birthday and asked him why he didn't say anything all day?

Finishing his geography lesson before any festivities can begin.

I don't know why he didn't say anything but was so glad I went in and brought treats because his teacher turned it on and suddenly everyone was making him a card and singing their special made-up birthday song.

We usually eat out for birthdays, which is a good thing because there was no way I was messing up the kitchen tonight. Seth chose Red Robin and ordered his usual chicken fingers. It's always fun for the whole family.

Here's a fun game we like to play at restaurants. It's called "throw everything I can get my hands on off the table" Who wants to play with me?

Yup...I can still reach it. Whee!

Embarassed with all the fuss (but so glad too!)

The performers - don't they look thrilled to be making $5/hour AND singing to a seven year old?

Splurge! We actully put quarters in it this time.

You never know what you're going to get when you ask a waiter to take a picture. Ah well..at least Jay and Henry look cute.

When we returned home, Seth opened his present from us and loved his new laser tag get up. He and his dad ran around shooting each other in the back yard. They had a great time.

Nerd #1

Up-and coming nerd #2

Nerds unite!

I love my Seth. Happy Birthday buddy.

When he feels carefree....

When it's all about the business at hand.....

He makes me go GA-GA!!!!!!!