Perks and Pitfalls

Last night I missed my weight watchers meeting....again. My meeting is every Wednesday at 6:30. This has been my attendance record the last 5 weeks. Weigh in-don't stay for meeting because I have a church meeting, weigh-in-skip meeting because Jay is on call and I have all three boys, out of town-no weigh in, miss meeting due to necessity of getting wood at store before closing for stair construction and Jay isn't home yet, miss meeting due to angio procedure that went long. Quite the record. The whole reason, I think, WW works is you get embedded in a group with the support of a leader and fellow dieters. I know some people manage to succeed doing it online (you know who you are) but believe me, I have tried anonymously and seem to need my humiliation to be public.

I chose Wednesdays for my weigh-in because that seemed to give me the best chance of consistently making it there. Jay doesn't have very much Wednesday call anymore (it's a bad call night and they front load it on the younger residents) and any other night has a routine conflict. But this golden night has turned out to be like every other - INCONSISTENT. Last night, Jay rushed home as fast as he could and I could have gone and made a scene entering 15 minutes late and force someone to get up from the meeting to weigh me. I've seen it done and those particular people are more committed than me. I was disappointed and went online and cancelled my membership so they can stop siphoning money from my checking account. Jay apologized and I told him that I don't blame him. Really, I don't. It's one of the pitfalls of being married to a doctor. You never know what the evening holds. I could get babysitters. But that takes planning and knowing and money! The problem is the minute-by-minute uncertainty. Waiting for a phone call to see when he'll be home. But he can't always call. And he is never going to have a regular schedule. It might get a bit better than it is now but I am never going to get a guaranteed 5:30 homecoming from him.

There are perks. He has a job that is well respected in any community and has great job security (once he actually has a job, of course). He now possesses skills that get reimbursed well. Locums are a fantastic source of extra income. He's handy for looking in ears and writing prescriptions. Unlimited ultrasounds when pregnant! Free trips. He amuses me with interesting stories and cases. And, of course, the promise of a nice paycheck in the future.

I know I should not give up. I don't want to. The Biggest Loser was on last night and the red team is so dysfunctional. I could be on that team. The hardest thing for me to conquer is my moodiness. Some days I feel like I can do anything and others like nothing really matters. Give me some stress and you can put money on me skipping working out and heading for the chocolate.

Should I keep trying for Wednesdays? Do something completely different? There are so many options and I know the saying "the best diet and exercise program is the one you'll do". What will work for me?