Book Review #62 - Still Alice

I'm doing something new and joined a group of women who buy books, read them and makes notes in the books as you read, and then mail it to someone. There are five of us in the group, so in five months, I'll read five books (only one of my choosing), with each book more and more filled with notes until I get my own book back with everyone else's thoughts. It was very odd underlining and writing in the margins, as I haven't done that to any book besides my scriptures and old college textbooks but....I liked it! I'm going to post my reviews as I read them, even though there is someone in my group who won't get this book for four more months. That's an alert for you, Amy S!

Like Flowers For Algernon and The Bell Jar, I found Still Alice to not only be an interesting novel about mental illness, but felt that its scope pushed it beyond entertainment, even beyond its own story and into the realm of important fiction. Lisa Genova’s Still Alice is not my first exposure to Alzheimer’s disease. I noticed with sadness the withdrawal of President Ronald Regan's visibility. I’ve read and watched Nicholas Spark's The Notebook (which probably doesn't count). And while I’ve thankfully been spared watching any members of my immediate family suffer, I have watched a beloved former neighbor and friend forget and withdraw from our shared memories. It’s horrible. And this book doesn’t pretend otherwise, for the person afflicted or for the witnesses to the affliction.

Alzheimer’s, which deceptively rhymes with “old timers”, is the most familiar face of dementia but, like probably most, I didn’t really understand the beginning, the progression or the variety of this cruel disease. Genova, with her very heavyweight Harvard Ph.D. in neuroscience, is a reassuring author as I felt like she had the capability and authority to write about early onset Alzheimer’s in such a personal and informative way.

It wasn’t until about halfway through the book that I realized that Still Alice was not a first person narrative. It felt like it because I knew what Alice was thinking, how she was feeling and wasn’t given that view into any of the other characters. But, suddenly, the “she’s” and "hers" appeared heavy and often and I realized that I wasn't inside Alice's head but, instead, was hovering around Alice with the benefit of someone telling me exactly what her dark-curly haired fifty year-old self was experiencing. As I’m not an author, I don’t know what goes into the decision about who the narrator will be. So many books these days seem to pass the narrative baton from character to character, each one getting to express their own voice with their personal “I”s and “me’s, instantly creating intimacy. While I think it would have been interesting to glimpse into Lydia’s motivation, Anna’s drive and John’s inner conflict, I was glad that our time was spent with Alice. There is only one brief departure from Alice to John and I’m not sure why. Except for that one irregularity, I appreciated the continuity of Alice’s experience.

I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a character change so much throughout a book but still seem grounded to the original character. While the author provided straightforward visual samples of Alice’s decline with her less and less detailed (and eventually wrong) answers to a series of five recurring questions throughout the book, I believe the evolution of the relationship between Alice and her youngest daughter, Lydia, was the better barometer. Even as she lost more of her intellect and memories with each subsequent page turn, Alice didn’t stop being Alice. Ahhh….there’s the title. She’s Still Alice. In her impassioned speech at an Alzheimer’s conference, Alice asks, “When will I no longer be me? Is the part of my brain that’s responsible for my unique ‘me-ness’ vulnerable to this disease? Or is my identity something that transcends neurons, proteins, and defective molecules of DNA? Is my soul and spirit immune to the ravages of Alzheimer’s? I believe it is.”

While certainly less obvious, Alice is there at the end. Not in her office at Harvard University. Not at the lectern, confidently guiding students with her professional expertise, and not as an opinionated mother and wife voicing her unfulfilled expectations, but there. No one is tiptoeing through daisies, and everyone is forced to sacrifice, but this novel showed how one family coped and adjusted to loving someone with Alzheimer’s. More importantly, it showed with candor and tenderness how one brilliant woman/wife/mother/daughter/sister/professor/friend/researcher/mentor/author/reader/person fought an unwinnable fight.

Princess Leia, I'm Not

Sam is a snuggle bug. He loves to cuddle and after a late night with cousins, when fatigue and irrationality had him fighting bed, I promised him some morning snuggles.

He held me to my promise this morning, and after pancakes, I met him on the couch for our scheduled nuzzling. Included in the repertoire was the usual back scratch, nose rubbing and me kissing his forehead and cheeks.

The older my boys get, the less I kiss them on the lips. There is no exact age where I cut it off, after all, I'm playing this all by ear, but six for Sam might be the right time.

As I cradled him in my lap, he started puckering up and I gave him a few light pecks on his little lips. Then, he grabbed my cheeks and kissed me pretty hard. I chuckled and then he did it again.

"Sam, what are you doing?" I asked.

"Kissing you like Hans Solo kisses Princess Leia," he innocently replied.

We then proceeded to have an age appropriate discussion about why people kiss on the mouth and I found I had no good reasons to give except that when you liked someone, you wanted to. But, I emphasized that kisses like that should be special and rare and saved for when you are in love - mom and dad kind of love and not mom and son love.

It was no big deal and we sat and snuggled for awhile longer, but I've been thinking about it these last few hours.

I hate to be the one to limit touch with my boys and I know there will be a time in the not so distant future when their displays of affection will all but disappear, but, obviously, Sam needed a little instruction. Still, he's only six. I don't want to make a mountain out of a molehill.

What say you? How affectionate are you with your children? Is there a difference between the touch between your girls and boys (having only boys, I'm just wondering)? Does kissing on the lips make you uncomfortable?

Oh.......Henry!

How do you repay someone who magnanimously agrees to sit with your children, in particular, your rambunctious three year-old during sacrament meeting as you play the organ and your husband conducts the meeting?

If you happen to be the parents of Henry, then you offer to pay the medical bills incurred due to your child poking their eye with a colored pencil, necessitating a trip to the emergency room and a diagnosis of a scratched cornea.

And I thought all he needed was a backyard....

Condensed

Over 2800 miles traveled. Over 57 hours in the car. Over 450 pictures overall.

Don't worry, I'm not going to blog about all of it. I'm not even going to blog about half of it. I've selected 27 pictures that capture the essence of our journey so that means I'm blogging about 17% of our trip. But, that's skewed because I didn't take as many pictures as I normally would have. That's right. I held back. Because I had this new fancy camera to lug around everywhere and sometimes...sometimes, I chose not to. So...I'll call it about 13% and let it rest.

The camera was still in its box in the drive up so didn't get a picture of my sister, Maureen, who just happened to be home before leaving for her THIRD musical tour. Also, I didn't get a picture of my sweet sister-in-law, Stephanie, who I stopped to say "hi" to in Boise.

After two long days in the car, we arrived at my sister's comfortable home. The boys immediately disappeared to play with cousins and my week of relaxation began.


Ansel is something of a Lego genius and showed Seth the power of the block. Seriously, he made a movie...on his own...by taking pictures of his Lego creation and putting them in a PowerPoint presentation and adding captions.

One of the reasons Jen's home is so comfortable is because she is an excellent organizer and housekeeper. It didn't hurt that their recent mega remodel was complete and everything was fancy and new, but it's so pretty that the urge to sweep and wipe down is overwhelming. I even had my hand on this broom a few times - directing the dirt to the fabulous kick plate on her central vac system. Can you feel the coveting coming out of my fingertips as I write?

Fourth of July and we had her neighbor's pool all to ourselves. I haven't had that much fun swimming in years. Loved the privacy, loved the heat, loved the independence of my boys. Fun day.
This is out of order because we went to the baseball game on Friday night and the fourth was on Saturday. Oh well. The baseball game itself was pretty boring because the teams weren't evenly matched so the opposing team could not get the home team out. I started to cheer for quick outs on both sides, which upset the boys a bit, but throw in dollar hot dog night, dollar ice cream night and fireworks after the game and you have plenty to ensure a good time.

The best fans of the night

I have never bought fireworks before but Jen and Christopher and some of their friends have a tradition for setting off the kind that are illegal everywhere I've ever lived in their cul-de-sac. My boys had a blast running around with sparklers and while I can't say I got as excited as all the men who were lighting them off, it was a fun night.

Not bad for a little home-done show....

Me and my sister and friend, Jen. It's really tragic that we don't live closer to each other.

Good times were had by all thanks to my brother, Jon, and sister-in-law, Tara. Their littlest, Natalie, was sick all weekend, which was a bummer, but it was beyond great to spend time with two. They definitely make the list of my favorite people to hang out with.

My greatest wish (lately) is for Henry to have a yard. For a week, it came true for a week and my prediction that he would become an easy child was proved right. No matter where anyone else was, he wanted to be outside most of the day and I was blessed and chagrined to witness his best self when he had the space and freedom to explore and wander. Sigh. You may notice me coveting again.

On to my old stomping grounds where I reconnected with old friends. It was a bittersweet 24 hours for me as I missed them and the city itself every bit as ever but felt the space of time more than ever too, particularly with Seth, who didn't connect with his former BFFs (they are girls, and I'm sure that makes a difference). My heart aches a little thinking we are no longer a part of this life.

I spent a week in my hometown at my childhood home. This is my favorite view in the world. Standing on the porch in front of my parent's house, looking at my favorite mountain.

One of two of our hikes up Mt. Helena.

Sam was initiated into the Staggering Ox club when he attempted to eat his first Clubfoot sandwich.
For Family Home Evening, my dad taught my boys about our family history and had them figure out my four generations.

Then we had a great time playing, "Are you pleased or displeased?" It involved lots of hopping on one foot and the not-so-pretty moments of me doing push-ups and army craws around the room like a snake, but it also brought out the famous "ballerina" dance from Grandpa, which my boys loved....almost as much as I did when I was their age.

My gorgeous mother.

We sailed.

The boys played on their own private island.

We visited my Aunt Jennie on her ranch, where I have fabulous memories of being a cowgirl for weeks during the summer.

We (and by we, I mean they) swam in Bear Lake in their clothes because I was too tired to get their swimsuits out.

We went to a family reunion where my father was able to visit with his 100 year old uncle, Paul.

We stopped at the grave of a beloved grandmother, who I still miss 20 years later.

In Utah, I met up with good friends, Becky and Melanie.

Took the boys through the Oquirrh Mountain Temple open house (and I think I'm probably the only one who didn't find it at all spiritual. Noisy, hot, crowded and disconcerting....yes). But, I'm still glad we went. I just wish we could have gone when there weren't about a gazillion other little kids on the same tour.

Last night in town spent at Cafe Rio with Amy M. and Hannah. What's not to like about a night like that?

We are home and there is no rest for the weary. Summer 2009 is turning out to be non-stop action, which is just fine with me. But, I'd still like to find a few minutes now and then to blog!

They Have Water Coolers In Washington Too

I missed writing about last week's show. Mom, I promise I'm not obsessed about So You Think You Can Dance. I know these emotional reviews worry you, but it's not like I live and die for each week's show. I'm handling the fact that I can't watch Thursday's night show, because you guys unplugged your DVR in case of thunderstorms, with maturity and perspective. I am a duck and missing the show is like water rolling off my back. No big deal. I'm cool.

BUT....since I can't write about what happens tomorrow, I might as well write about tonight. I mean, every one here is asleep so I'm not monopolizing the computer and since I can't download any of the pictures I've taken so far, there is no point in blogging about my trip. Oh...I have had little essays rolling through my head about Costco and marriage (they aren't related) but it's late and I'm on the road again tomorrow and this will have to do.

First things first, Cat looked lovely. She epitomized how modesty and classy go hand in hand. Loved her dress. Loved her hair. Love her. She adds so much to the show.

I was so relieved when they announced that each couple would perform two dances. Finally - less talky talk and more dancing! The last two weeks have been brutal listening to the judges endlessly yap and the pre-dance interview's unnecessary intimacy.

I booed out loud when disco by Dorian was announced as the first number. Oddly enough, I own three discs of Disco Fever (bought from an infomercial during one of my weaker moments) and I enjoy them. I had a picture of John Travolta from Saturday Night Fever in my locker during most of high school. I've even thrown a disco murder/mystery party in my short lifetime. However, disco has been a major dud so far for me on this show. Even Brandon and Jeanette's "fastest disco ever" left me bored. I braced myself for disappointment.

Melissa was lacking but did you see Ade???? He was totally Jackson 5 out there! Maybe it's his very tame Afro, or shiny pants, but I would have been just fine if he could have hip bounced across the stage all night. That man knows how to groove. It was nice to see Ade carry the dance for once, even though none of the judges gave him proper credit. I like Melissa too but this was Ade's night.

Their second dance, the waltz, was schmaltzy. Oh, I know the choreographer said it was more open and less structured by leaving out a lot of the traditional holds, but, at times, it didn't even feel like a waltz. No matter, though, because I think they'll be safe this week even though they weren't handed any favors with their two "randomly" chosen dances (which, after last week, I hope is a myth that has been dispelled. No way the dances are pulled out of a hat).

Now, onto Kupono and Kayla. I am glad that I still have room to appreciate Mia because the woman, for all her ego and false humility, can make magic on that stage. For that minute and a half, Kayla was an addict and Kupono was whatever was bad for her. Absolutely. That is what I love about this art form. It is a living and breathing and dynamic statement about....whatever. Wow. I agree with Cat that it will be one of the more memorable pieces this season.



I didn't love their broadway routine, though. Personally, I find that choreographer (can't remember her name and don't have the energy to look it up) really intimidating. They might have too, because the whole dance felt 1-2-3-4ish to me. They danced it, but they didn't look like they were having any fun which Kayla, and her perfection in performance, can usually at least fake, and Kupono is supposedly able to jump into any character given him. I think Broadway has become the new Kiss of Death and if they didn't have that incredible first number, I think they would have been in the bottom three. But, fortunately, or unfortunately depending on if you're a Kupono fan or not, I don't think they will be. If they are, I still don't think the judges would get ride of Kupono because they must have plans for him on the tour or something. They need him to make it to Top 10. I can think of no other reason why they keep ignoring the masses who keep putting him in the bottom three.

Jason and Kaitlin. I'm not even going to bother writing about them because they are boring. They might be beautiful dancers but they've had five weeks to develop some kind of personality or spark between the two of them and it's missing every week and in every dance. I'm guessing she drives him crazy. She kind of has that neurotic quality about her, I think. I used to feel bad for him, but he's had plenty of time to step it up and hasn't bothered. I think both of them will leave tomorrow night.

As far as Brandon and Jeanette go....amazing! I didn't know I loved the Argentinian Tango. I know they highlighted it on the first results show, but the professional dancers had nothing on these two. I loved it. I was really glad they danced to traditional music. I think it helps. I've been distracted the last few ballroom routines when Latin numbers are paired with The Pussycat Dolls or some other northern flavor. I still have no idea why leg flicks are necessary when it comes to couple dancing in cafes, and have a hard time believing that this is performed by any kind of everyday Argentinian, but I clapped when their dance was done. And then Nigel copied me. I don't know how he does it.

The golden couple ended the night with what could only be greatness dancing a Wade Robson routine. It wasn't my favorite of his dances (although I loved the stair dancing. Something about Roisin Murphy and stairs must go together in his crazy brilliant mind) and Jeanette was a little off compared to Brandon (or maybe her shiny 80s spandex just threw me off) but they are like gold in Ft. Knox. Safe, safe, safe.

If one is to believe (and I do) that the dancers they want to go home get the least amount of help (like a "hard hitting" NappyTab number, or Dorian's disco (usually) or bad costumes) then it seems obvious that they must want Philip and Jeanine off the show. They have NEVER gotten contemporary. Or Jazz. They keep talking about how Philip can't dance anything but Hip Hop but I think he'd be pretty good in a Mia routine, or Wade, or even Mandy as long as she left her Greatest 90s pop ballads CD at home. No, instead they get to do a Russian Folk Dance. As soon as the camera cut away from their interview and I saw them in costume, I crinkled my nose. Not that there is anything wrong with Russian Folk Dancing, but you might as well put them in Pioneer dress, bring out the fiddle or just have an audience sing along, and ask them to skip and arm twirl. Their dance skills, thankfully, were more complicated than that, but just barely. Other than those leg squat jumps, which always impress me, there wasn't much that you or I and apparently Phillip couldn't master.

I loved how Nigel passed off any responsibility for the out-of-place routine. I'm sure he chose the number so that he could say (as he usually does at least once per show), "Where else can you see disco, hip hop, the chains of addiction and Russian folk dancing on one stage?!" The man loves to give himself props. He could barely get over how some genius managed to bring classical ballet to the masses last week. Fess up!

It was bad, but not horrible. They did as much as they could. Jeanine, as usually, surprised me. No, I take that back. She doesn't surprise me anymore. She's incredible. How and why was I so wrong about her?

How could the show make it up to them after handing them the least exciting dance ever attempted on the show? I know....a jive! The jive is hard. Nigel loves to lecture about getting low and foot retractions. The was the nail in their coffin. As unfair as it was to have two doozies of dances, Jeanine was so good that she pretty much guaranteed that both of them will stay. She was so good that I didn't care that no one in the 40s wore tutus. She was so good that I forgot about Philip and his stiff shoulders (which is so, so odd that such a non-jointed dancer could be so stiff). I also appreciated that Bette Midler's look alike (who I will always uncomfortably remember dancing the Cha Cha with poor Pasha when his partner got sick) choosing a Bette Midler song for the dance. It brought everything....full circle...for me.

Lastly, poor Randi and Evan just didn't have their game on. I don't know why Randi always makes such a fuss in rehearsals about how uncomfortable and weird she feels acting sexy or in love or...anything other than bouncy and blonde. Because she pulls it off every week. She is the consummate performer. Every dance, I am amazed at how committed she is to the dance, even when she has to convince the rest of us that she has the hots for Evan (those are some fine acting skills). So, even though I loved the music and loved the moves, I didn't love the Samba. The leopard skins they were wearing may have something to do with that too.

Their hip hop routine was hmmmmph, meh and yawn. If it wasn't announced that it was about a couple finding out about a pregnancy, I never would have known. To me, it looked like a dance about about to propose followed by lots of dancing and jumping about in sync, because that is what most newly engaged people do (sadly, I don't have video of Jay's and my moves but they were pretty street. We were living in Provo, after all). He did touch her stomach once, so...I guess that was supposed to clear things up.

I laughed when Nigel commented about how Tabitha and Napoleon didn't try to urbanize them and let them be who they were. Um....I don't think that was much of a stretch, Nigel. Basically, they had themselves to work with. I could see Napoleon saying, "Hey, Evan, I'm from the burbs too and I'm here to tell you that you can still hit it hard in an argyle sweater. I promise." And, just once, could wardrobe not put the girl in high tops? I think Randi and Evan will be in the bottom three for the first time. But, I don't think the judges will send either of them home. At least I hope not.

Enjoy watching the results show tomorrow night. I don't care that much about missing it except for the group number. I have this fear that it will be a Wade number, especially since they got him back in town, but, even so, I realize it's just a t.v. show.

See, Mom?

Leaving (But Not On A Jet Plane)

...and I'm pretty sure when I'll be back again. At least within a day or two.

I've decided to embark on another mammoth road trip a la last summer. I'll be gone almost as long but won't cover as much ground as I'm not planning on any detours to Canada or Mt. Rainier this year. Just a week with my sister's family in Washington state (and a few days with my brother's family who is coming over to say, "hi.") and a week in Montana visiting the land I love and the responsible parties who bestowed upon me the privilege of growing up there.

Add a few days here and there in Utah (school shopping, Temple open house, visiting friends and family) and a few days of driving through the lone and dreary world (but also spectacularly pretty at times) and I'm booked for three weeks!

It may appear that I am crazy to not only do this all by myself (Jay is opting out....again. Claims he has a job and stuff) but to it via minivan with three children ages nine and younger. But I have a secret. All three of my boys are excellent travelers and I love to drive. Oh, sure, I get bored at times, but factor in cost, flexibility, and freedom and driving beats flying almost every time. At least with kids.

I'm all ready to leave but my new camera hasn't arrived yet. I didn't think it was going to be here in time for my trip, so I had mentally decided to leave early this morning. When I checked my email, however, and clicked on the tracking package link, I discovered that the FedEx truck would be dropping off this very necessary trip accessory sometime today. So, I wait. And hope that it comes soon. Because I've got my traveling mojo.

Of course, I hope to blog a little along the way, but if not....

HAVE A FABULOUS JULY! (sorry about all the parenthetical comments. I can't help myself!)

Cattle Drive 2009

I was (and still am) sadly without camera during the week of in-law joy. The reason for the get together was because we all love to take our kids on the annual cattle drive. Every summer, Grandpa hires three large trucks to transport his 100+ cows to his land in New Mexico. Every fall, he and his boys spend a week rounding them all back up. The drive-in is much more kid friendly and it has become an unofficial family reunion. Everyone came but Jay's youngest brother, Clark, and his family as well as two of his sisters' husbands. Now that we are local, it's quite a bit easier to join in the fun. I realized that I haven't been present for the marching of the cows since 2004. Knowing it was Henry's first cattle drive made the inability to capture any of the day in pictures all the more depressing.

Still, I borrowed these pictures from my sister-in-law's, Bekki, facebook page. I appreciate her taking some pictures of my family as well as her own.

The reason for the party. Mama cows and baby cows get to chow on mountain grass all summer!

Grandpa not only drives in cattle, but a few grand kids as well!

Henry exploring at the rendezvous point.

Jay and Henry go for a ride.

About how it goes around here.

Some of my cute nephews. Scott, Jacob, Derek and Michael. I really hope my own boys grow up to be so charming and fun.

Sam and his best buddy, Matt.

The three cowboys who did all the work while the rest of us played. Yes, Jay wears chaps. Just one more awesome part of the day:) My niece Brooke is on the horse. Then Jay, Vaughn and Rex. Missing cowboy = Clark.
The sisters, minus Stephanie (Clark's wife and also a mudblood). I married into a family of tiny people. It's possible I subconsciously destroyed my camera that morning in order to avoid this picture. Lucky for me, while they may be tiny, they are also some of the best women I know. From left to right and in order of age: Kelly (sister), me, Peggy (sister), Bekki (mudblood), Molly (sister) and Patty (mudblood).

Good times.

Easy Blogging

It's been a bad week for blogging. Lots of in-laws have been in town and I broke my camera on Monday. I have several ideas going through my head that I really want to write down so that the fleeting becomes solid, but those take time. And editing. Tonight, I'm taking the easy road. I'm just going to type as I think.

Because it's about So You Think You Can Dance and I'm not quite so picky about getting it right, you know?

So.....let's just say it. This week's show.....

stunk.

It stunk. Paso Doble, Viennese Waltz AND the Rumba during the same week? Mandy Moore could not have choreographed a more boring jazz routine and I like Dave Scott but what's with having the double/double each week. Can't they switch it up a bit? Two Shane Sparks routines didn't work last week and having one person choreograph two dances in the same style (hip hop) doesn't make for an interesting show.

I was so excited to have my niece and sister-in-law over watching with me, because it's much more fun to watch with fellow fans than all alone but I found myself complaining after each dance.

1. Jonathan! Count the beat! Judges - say something nice to Karla because she was fantastic! They weren't synchronized because Jonathan can't groove (just borrowing from Tony Basil who liked to throw that word out.) I liked the routine, liked the music, but Jonathan's white boy dancing was distracting. Still...Karla was great and Nigel was waaaay too harsh.

2. Asuka and Vitolio. Boring, boring boring. I love Pat Benetar but I found the loud medium slow rock music/turquoise costumes/Askua combination too much to handle. I wanted the routine to end and Vitolio was making me nervous with all of his tongue waggling. Keep it in your mouth, buddy. When Nigel threw his hands up in the air and shouted, "Fantastic!" I wanted to throw something at the TV. Are we even watching the same show, Mr. Lythgoe?

3. Finally, Melissa and Ade. Practically a guarantee that something exciting and great will happen. Except they have the rumba, which isn't my favorite dance because they have to dance in fake lust. I find watching all that face pawing/open mouth act a bit uncomfortable. Especially when they cut away to her adoring and left-to-spectate husband in the audience. The dance was good, though. I'm still loving Melissa who is freakishly strong. Did you see her Pilates sit-up on that roller? It made me wish I hadn't sold my Pilates DVDs. Actually, it made me wish that I had used them more than once after buying them after watching an infomercial on TV. The dance was good but the music....the music was like fingernails on a chalkboard. Like a bad waitress who won't bring you a refill. Like a cellphone talker in a movie. As impressive as the dance was, I wanted it to end so that I didn't have to listen to Beyonce warble anymore.

4. O.K. I'm wondering why I started numbering these things because I actually can't remember the exact order of the dances anymore. But, I'm typing as I think, remember, so there's no going back. I'm going to say Brandon and Jeanette were next with those awful tights and bad hair. How can they make such a small, toned girl look so bottom heavy? Totally unflattering. Add her half-a-head of teased hair and I had to avoid watching Jeanette. Again...what's with the tongue? Is that Rock-and-Roll? I enjoyed the concept, thought and the music was....unusual. Not bad, at all, just disconcerting. I think Jeanette did the best she could trying to pull off being a dancing Joan Jett but Brandon was the total star of the dance. He's good. I totally believed his street cred (again, thank you Tony Basil for pointing out how necessary that is with your beret on your head) even after he finished gushing about stage lighting. But it was a hard dance to like because they never seemed to be dancing together. Just doing a dance off. Which isn't really a bad thing. I love dance offs! I am especially fond of real life ones.

5. Kayla and Kupono. I was so set on Kupono leaving this week. His interview about wanting to be a costume designer didn't help much. I just don't have any really positive feelings about him. I don't like how he dances. I don't enjoy how he dresses. And by admitting that he can't even lift Kayla makes him worthless in partner dancing as he is actually the male in the pair and Kayla shouldn't have to lift him. My Kupono dissing + Viennese Waltz (which I've always thought they should just stick with one waltz per season. It's just not an exciting dance) should have equaled a worst-dance-of-the-night vote but I was shocked by its beauty. I don't know if it was her pretty dress, or soft curls. The graceful way she pointed her toes as she was rocked by the suddenly stronger Kupono or what, but I loved the whole dance.

6. My sister is trying to convince me that Mia's "Butt" routine was really good but I just finished watching it again and I still didn't like it. Loved the music. I've already bought it on itunes. Loved Randi's outfit. Loved some of the funky shoulder dancing moves. But, why in the world did Evan have to wear a size 50 suit? Did they not want us to see any part of his body actually move? It was the first thing I saw and those first few seconds when I was adjusting to him looking like he belonged on "Honey, I Shrunk The Kids" and hoping Randi would lose the other shoe, I was hating the dance. I didn't like the attention to Randi's behind. I thought it was obscene and crude. The dancing really wasn't great but it got a pass because of a clever concept. Except, I never actually understood the concept. Was she supposed to be a poodle? But they kept referring to Evan as a creepy old French guy. Did the creepy old french guy like poodles? Or young women? Who was she? Some of those moves made it seem like she was sleep walking. I didn't get the story. The fact that it WAS the best dance of the night only shows that the whole night was disappointing.

7. Totally didn't buy Kaitlin and Jason's Paso Doble. I love Carmina Burana so was really pumped when the music started. I even really liked the clip they showed of them practicing, Jean-Luc's instruction and how Jason was supposed to hate Kaitlin...passionately. But then Jason was jumping around on stage, not really dancing with and not really hating his I Dream Of Jeanie co-star. I thought Kaitlin looked off and low energy but, again, the judges loved it. Loved her. Pass.

8. Jeanine totally redeemed herself because she has carried Phillip these last two weeks. She is really quite talented and I totally bought her bangs and her dancing. She has been the one in the pair to watch lately, but there's still something about her that makes me uncomfortable. Don't know what it is but I'm not a fan. I'm just admitting that she has talent. Phillip was even fun to watch for the first 45 seconds before he realized that he can't dance a la Broadway. After the couch jump, he lost his spark and just started running around. I actually laughed out loud once, because he looked so ridiculous.

They all could have been in the bottom three, in my opinion. Well, except Melissa who is excellent and Ade, who must be excellent because Melissa continues to look excellent next to him. There's something to that, right?

Asuka needed to go home. I'm glad that happened. I was never a Jonathan fan so I'm o.k. with that too.

Blah, blah, blah.

I hope next week is better.

Back At The Water Cooler

O.K. I'm calm again.

Disaster of disasters, my DVR didn't record last night's episode. That's right. I didn't get to watch the dances. I'd love to say that I handled it like an adult, but it wouldn't be true. I screamed. And not just on the inside.

As a result, I spent about an hour scouring YouTube for videos of each of the dances, hoping to find a decent recording before some overworked intern pulled it off for copyright. It's so frustrating. Something that actually should be available to watch again and again should anyone so choose, and the option isn't available. Of course, Fox doesn't offer any episodes on their web site either. Conspiracy. Or they just want to drive me crazy.

I found them all and watched them in their little 3 X 5 screen (because when I enlarged them, it was too pixel-y and distracting) but didn't have very strong feelings about any of the dances except Melissa and Ade's jazz routine. I'm telling you, I'm really, really liking Melissa.

I liked Jonathan and Karla's contemporary too but I think partly because I love the song they danced to. There are so many factors about liking or not liking a couple. The choreographer, the costumes (like what in the H-E-double hockey sticks was poor Max wearing????), and of course, the song. Falling Slowly is something Jay and I sing together at the piano and as soon as I heard the first few bars, I melted. Of course, the stellar dancing didn't hurt.

I am not a fan of the judges tonight. I don't think either Ashley or Max deserved to go home. Ashley has been phenomenal both weeks in a row and just had a lame hip-hop routine (that she nailed and her partner didn't). I even liked her solo. They know she can do all those tricks and I loved her attention to artistry instead. Loved it.

And Max! I've never liked the ballroom dancers' solos and I really liked his. It wasn't his fault he had to look like MC Hammer in bondage last night. Kupono should have left. Yeah, he's the quirky dancer this year and they love their quirks, but the quirks never win. They just bring their partners down when they can't do the difficult dance routines. He couldn't even do hip hop. Can you imagine him doing a fast Latin ballroom number? Poor Kayla. She's going to suffer without Max.

I think Kaitlin should have gone home instead. She's a good dancer, but other than her fancy gymnastics, which are pretty fancy, she's not the strongest dancer. I don't think Ashley is really that much better, but I'm more attached to her. I mean, she's tried out four years in a row! She wanted it more. I'm sad.

Lastly, I loved the Mia Michaels group dance. Mia has been bugging me this season with her opinions and ego and I was a little worried I'd have a bias against her choreography. But, man, this was one of my favorites. It was amazing. At least, I think it was amazing. I couldn't really watch it because I was busy having a seizure from all of the jumping camera angles (just have one steady cam pan out so I can see the whole stage, for crying out loud!) but the movement I did see was really powerful. It was a Rama-Lama-Bang-Bang kind of dance. Memorable.

It probably won't stay up some before being shut down by The Man, so sorry. Enjoy it while you can.

Looks Like a Two-Peat

If any of you thought I was in any danger of losing my Mother-Of-The-Year Award, ne'er fret. It's not going anywhere while this turkey is under my roof.

If you've got a hankering for Tillamook cheese and Mom's in the shower, what's a boy to do?

Book Review #61 - Olive Kitteridge

I have never liked the idiom, "You can't have your cake and eat it too," because it doesn't make sense. What are you talking about? I have cake and eat it all the time. Too frequently, in fact. But that isn't my point.

I do understand its intended meaning, however. I've seen it written instead, "You can't eat your cake and have it too," which really clears things up (the two desires are mutually exclusive. Choice and sacrifice are obligatory), but, I doubt the saying will ever change. And if I say it the way I like it, I'll just be accused of messing it up, blasted creatures of habit that we humans are.

When Elizabeth Strout wrote Olive Kitteridge, it appears she couldn't choose between eating the cake or having it.

To explain, you need to know something about the book, which, I should do regardless because this is, after all, a book review. Olive Kitteridge is a compilation of short stories that are sometimes strongly, but more often loosely, tied together through one character, Olive Kitteridge. The book is roughly chronological and whether in the periphery or forefront, Olive's abrasive and direct personality stand out. She and other inhabitants of Crosby, Maine, lead outwardly ordinary lives but with Strout's masterful story telling, their motivations, vices, guilt and hope are all achingly uncovered. It's really something, the way she captures the natural man (or woman) on her pages.

Imagine, for the sake of the above allegory, that Olive Kitteridge is a cake. She is the title character. She is the foundation. Olive all alone, however, is boring. She needs decorating. She needs a plot and supporting characters and conflict and all the eye-dazzling fondant that makes you take notice and want the actual food - the cake underneath. In other words....she needs a novel. I wonder if Strout started dressing Olive up, and saw that she had so much going on that her cake looked like a hot mess so she licked off all the icing, hoping, I suppose, the naked cake left behind would be enough. Unfortunately, and perhaps because I am overly fond of icing, I noticed its absence. As enjoyable as each short story was, Olive Kitteridge needed the icing and the icing needed Olive.

While I applaud Strout's idea, which is brilliant, entire chapters felt disappointing and unproductive because Olive's presence was so minimal. At times, the thought crossed my mind that Strout had some of these stories written beforehand and once she came up with Olive Kitteridge, and her idea to assemble stories containing Olive together in a book, she threw in a few of her other favorite short stories, briefly mentioning Olive as a 7th grade math teacher or down-the-street neighbor so that they earned an "Olive" label. Like drinks that claim to be 10% fruit juice. Not near enough juice but that's another analogy for another day.

For a book to connect so...haphazardly, was unsatisfying. Even though each chapter had the structure to stand alone, I felt preoccupied with Olive. When was she going to enter the story? How did this person know Olive? Olive, Olive, Olive. It was distracting.

I understand and even agree with the book's critical acclaim because the premise is unique and clever. Strout's writing is superb and certain chapters are undoubtedly engrossing. But what am I supposed to do with an unfrosted cake? Eat it or have it? Without the frosting, I'm not sure I want to do either.

Land And Its Many Uses

Sam holding a baby lamb at an organic farm we visited with friends yesterday.

Pasture-fed pigs, which are a closer relative to the wild boar.

Henry chasing the chickens.

The one sales-pitch on the tour - the difference between their pasture-grazed chickens and an egg bought from Wal-Mart. The darker colored egg has more Vitamin A, E and Beta-Carotene.

An old school house built in 1908 that the owners of the farm recently restored.

Pretending they are at school.

Picking garden strawberries with Michelle and her two youngest for some fresh strawberry shortcake. The super-hero help was nice.

Henry was a good picker.

Jay is off today so I went exploring. Unfortunately, I picked a bad trail that dead-ended.

And the trail was muddy. But you should have seen my leaps and jumps. It was almost like I was on So You Think You Can Dance.

I love this land.