Gratitude

This is a bit early and come November 23rd I may be twiddling my thumbs instead of blogging but I just felt completely overwhelmed with good feelings about my life as I ran errands this afternoon. I think I would be a bit remiss if I didn't include these thoughts.

I was on my way to a paint store, talking to my sister on my cell phone when I saw a man waiting for a bus in a wheelchair. It's cold today and there are snow flurries and he was wearing a sweatshirt and had his hands in his jean pockets. I was flooded with a sense of how blessed I am. Sometimes, I admit, I allow myself to think of my lot as hard. I'll get down about weight, housekeeping, money, loneliness or struggles with 3 busy kids. Of course, no person is free from worries, fears, trials etc., but when put in perspective, I must acknowledge my good fortune. I live in a great country where I have access to information and opportunities and choice. I have a library card and while I may not use it to keep current on the latest science in microbiology, I have a firm grasp on the shopaholic series. I have three healthy, bright, kind children who have so much faith and goodness in them. And I get to mother them, spend time with them and receive their abundant love. I have a husband who really is my best friend and who I love to be with. He works hard and is truly a good person. I have a brother and sisters who are all my friends and we all honestly like each other. I have parents who I respect, admire and feel loved by. I have in-laws who are wonderful people I am more than happy to spend time with. I have learned that isn't always the case in families and I'm grateful for those relationships. I have friends who I think really care about me because I'm not sure what other reason would compel them to bother. Most importantly, I actually believe what I profess to believe. It gives me great comfort.

Those are the biggies. But the rest of my afternoon was filled with things to be grateful for. The Karaoke guy at Costco who makes me smile (sadly, he leave in a few days), helpful employees at the paint store (never shopping at Home Depot again if I can help it), a working furnace that warmed me as soon as I got home and my 10 fingers that can still type pretty quick.

You know what I think spurred on all these warm fuzzies? The house cleaning. My clean house just calms me and it was worth every single penny.

I'm so glad I'm not the only one...

that thinks Halloween is a hard day. I just read Jenny's and Andrea's blog and am so glad that I am not the only one who didn't have a super day.

The day started busy with Sammy's preschool Halloween party. I needed to have him in his costume and Seth ready for school with his costume in his backpack by 8:40. It was just that much harder getting breakfast, feeding Henry, making lunch etc. I don't know why but those Mr. Incredible boots just about put me over the edge. Did you all know they go on before shoes? I missed that memo and those few extra minutes caused me to have a completely disproportionate hissy fit.

Once we were at the school, Sammy had a blast. His mask didn't fit that well over his glasses and his nose and eye seemed squished but he said he was comfortable. I kept trying to fix it without success. It was hard being there with Henry. He just wants to crawl everywhere and believe it or not...preschools are not baby friendly. Lots of little things to swallow and things to pull off shelves to hurt themselves.

Can I choke on this?

I justified that I didn't need to be there the entire 2 1/2 hours (to the horror, I'm sure, of some of the supermoms) and drove to 7/11 for a big ol' soda. I took a lot of time in the van and eventually made my way back in. They had cute games and food but eventually, the kids just wanted to have free time.

Play-doh - he's Mr. Incredible...or Dash. Whichever.

Sammy made his way to the play-doh table which I'm thankful for because that is something I just don't like to do at home. Glad he can get his fix at school.

After preschool, I put Henry down for his nap, got Sammy his lunch and started making these spider crackers.

It's not even that cute. You'd think with that kind of time they'd be cuter.

I had seriously underestimated how long they would take and I ended up taking almost an hour for fourty crackers. How sad. Sammy only wanted to eat his preschool candy and said he was done with lunch after only eating his yogurt. His entire sandwich and fruit was untouched. I decided to engage in what turned into the thirty minute war. Sammy has turned into a poor eater. He leaves a lot of food at meals and then whines and whines for snacks. I don't know why I chose a day I was already emotionally empty to fight him on food but I wouldn't budge. He sat there on the barstool crying and calling me mean. I ignored him while I slathed peanut butter on eighty little round buttery crackers. Eventually, he pulled the "potty" card and I let him off of the barstool. He had eaten half of his sandwich (he kept telling me his stomach would explode) so when he came back with those gigantic bifocal eyes still shiny with tears, I told him he could be done. He said in his most encouraging voice, "now you're being nice, mommy!"

Next came Seth's party. His elementary school is great about making the day really fun for the kids. Each room has a room party and the entire school goes on a chain parade where they go through every classroom. It's like follow the leader, so each class gets to be in their class and watch the rest of the school parade through it and then they join the end of the line and follow the parade.

Blurry parade picture. My boys are the incredibles

There were great costumes and great games and great food. Little siblings were invited so I had Sammy and Henry at school too. The party itself was very nice. Henry fell asleep so I just sat there and talked feeling no responsibility at all for helping out.

Zonked out. Wish I could join ya buddy!

When it was time to go, the trouble began. Rounding up Seth and Sam in a swarm of other kids, with school stuff, party stuff, baby bjorn and discarded costume parts while trying to get to my van before the school bell rang -- it's just like they say -- totally herding cats.

After school, we all decompressed. I put Henry down for another nap, and got onto the computer. Seth and Sam watched a movie and I could tell they were competely overstimulated. I made homemade mac-n-cheese for dinner (Tara's recipe) and then realized we were running a bit late if we wanted to make it to the trunk or treat at the church on time. That started my mood up again but Jay calmy took over. He got Seth and Sammy out of their costumes to put warm sweats and sweatshirts underneath, got them back into their costumes and fed a screaming Henry. Eventually, we all ate at different times (cozy family dinner) and managed to get into the truck a little after six.

The church building is under construction for remodeling so part of the parking lot is gated off. The parking lot usually makes a horseshoe and in the past, the trunk or treaters follow this natural course. The fence threw everyone off, however, and rather than parking on both side and walking across the grass in the front, cars (except us) parked on both sides of the street in front of the church when the one side filled up (how safe). I was determined to get the party started on the other side of the parking lot so sent Jay off with Seth and Sammy and sat in the bed of the truck with our big bowl of candy waiting for the kids to realize that candy existed elsewhere and also to encourage all of the cars that were slowly searching for a spot to parallel park to realize they could just pull into that parking lot and set up shop there. Alas, the power of herd mentality was too much to overcome and not a single other vehicle pulled into that side of the parking lot. After 15 minutes, I gave up and walked over with Henry AND the big bowl of candy. Since I didn't have a vehicle, not very many people stopped to get candy from me so we still have this massive amount of costco candy left. Henry must have gotten cold because he started screaming so we tried to get home as fast as we could to warm him up.

When we got home, Henry and I sat in the dark (so trick-or treaters wouldn't come to our door) trying to warm up while Jay took Seth and Sammy around the block for more mindblowing fun. I think it took Henry 10 minutes to calm down. I actually started to worry that something was seriously wrong the way he was thrashing about but eventually his crying lessened so that he could drink his bottle. I put him to bed as Seth and Sammy got home and I just wanted Halloween to be over. Tired of costumes, candy, doorbells and old kids without costumes mumbling "trick-or-treat" at my door (we never get cute little ones...only greedy 15 year olds) I told the boys bedtime. Sadly, I forgot to take many pictures. When things were happening, it was too hard to hold Henry and a camera and I have realized that I didn't take any of them posing in their costumes. So, guess what I get to do again soon? :)
Jay must have been just as tired as me but he put Seth and Sammy to bed and we watched a DVR'd Law and Order.

Other holidays take this much work and are this exhausting but at least they have a bigger purpose, a more noble cause. This is a kids holiday but until they magically are able to buy costumes, buy candy, make treats and take themselves out, I suppose I'm going to have to continue to be involved.

Today I volunteered in the morning and watched KariAnns' boys in the afternoon. I splurged and had someone come and clean today so I just took all of the boys to McDonald's Playland to play for the afternoon. Henry is at a hard age. He just wants to crawl around (which I eventually let him do) but thinking about the cleanliness of McDonald's floor just made me shudder. Thank goodness for GermX! True story....while I was entering the play area, I was holding Henry, had a diaper bag and purse on my shoulders and carrying a tray of drinks and french fries. You guessed it...the drink fell over. Huge diet coke spill! Right in the play area too, because I was trying to get back where the birthday party tables are. Sheepishly, I set the tray down and went and notified a manager. Then I had to go back and face all of the other mothers frantically trying to keep their sock-footed children away from the spill. I went to my corner and waited an appropriate amount of time before going to get another Diet Coke. While I was getting my Diet Coke refill, I got 3 waters for the boys and put them all in a drink carrier. Went back to my table and after taking out the 3 waters, the carrier flipped and my Diet Coke spilled again! I was able to grab it pretty quickly and clean the mess on the table with napkins. Sheesh!

So now it's just after 3, the boys are watching a movie and KariAnn is coming any minute. I have to make dinner for someone in my ward and deliver it (Shredded BBQ beef sandwiches, coleslaw and baked beans) and then make phone calls tonight. Busy, but anything is better than last night.

Whatnot

When Jay and I were dating, he brought to my attention that I said "whatnot" more than necessary. You've all heard the word before. Someone will use it to tidy up a sentence...."we played all sorts of games: kick the can, follow the leader and whatnot." O.K. I'm pretty sure I never used that exact sentence but you get the gist. It just sounds so dorky to me now, but apparently, I used to be quite fond of the word. My sister, Maureen, had actually brought it to my attention as well so when Jay asked me, "do you know there is a word you say all the time?" I responded, "whatnot?". And he seemed so relieved. "Yes! Please stop!" I made a conscious effort to removed it from my vocabulary and it disappeared from my verbal language soon after.

Reading what I write on these posts, my new "whatnot" has been brought to my attention. It's mostly in my book reviews but I use this word...a lot. Do you already know the word? Are you, like Jay was, relieved that I'm aware and will now make an effort to avoid overusing it? I will definitely try.

Book Review #15 - Tell No One

This book is part The Fugutive part The Godfather. It's definitely a book that's hard to put down. For some reason, I kept thinking the author was female...it just had that tender quality to it although it's a mystery. But it's written by Harlan Coben (and his picture was on the jacket...definitely a man) who must just be in touch with his feelings. As with most mysteries, the author seemed a little too intent on one final twist and spoiled the ending a bit for me. I was really digging it until the last page when he jumped the shark a bit. If you like suspense and reading about a man who would do anything for the woman he loves, you will like this book.

Thoughts on Halloween and more

We had family pictures on Saturday morning. They turned out allright. Not great. There were several really cute ones but there isn't a single family shot where we are all smiling or looking at the camera. She probably took 100 photos so what are the odds? The photographer actually offered us another chance for a nice family photo which I'm hoping we can do sometime soon before hair grows out again. We looked very coordinated in our brown and red. Afterwards, we continued onto Costco and I'm sure we made others self-conscious that they weren't nearly as well coordinated on a Saturday morning.

After Costco, Jay, Seth and Sam were gone for several hours at a ski swap and for the creation of Jay's costume, Jack Bauer. We were invited to a Halloween party that evening and Jay never does anything halfway if he can do it the right way. His costume wasn't complete with simple props. He also had to download some theme music for his entrance (the timer sound) and searched in vain for the CTU ringtone so he could flip open his cell phone and answer in the breathy Jack Bauer voice. I, on the other hand, am not a huge lover of Halloween. I don't hate it. I recognize the fun that can be had but I think it's gotten a bit out of control with the entire month of October being somewhat devoted to it. So, a couple of years ago, I bought a generic witch costume and that suited me just fine.

Jay - toughest federal agent ever. Me- boring witch.

We got a babysitter that evening to attend and headed over to the Halloween party at Rebecca and Devin's. There was a Stake Youth Dance AND Homecoming at the high school that night so babysitters were scarce. We made a bold move after calling the twins and discovered that even they were busy, by hiring their younger brothers. Surprisingly, they were o.k. Of course, we had Henry completely to bed by the time they arrived and Seth and Sam were already in pajamas with their teeth brushed. And this was at 6:30 pm! We just didn't want to leave anything to chance. Seth and Sam said they were pretty good babysitters though. Three games and a puzzle! And we had a fabulous time with our friends. All is well.

The group. Some pretty good costumes here.

Rebecca made pumpkin soup and everyone brought something to add.

Rebecca as Jack Sparrow

Immediately, as what happens at all couple parties, the girls and guys went to their respective corners.

How the boys party - college football

How the girls party - cheep cheep cheep!

After the chitchat was done, we merged together for games. We played some mean games of mafia and Rebecca made fresh scones. Grade: A+

Church was great today. I got to sit with my family because there was a special musical number (appropriateness....questionable) and a rocking closing hymn. I get excited when I get to go all out on the organ. We sang Onward Christian Soldiers and I was jamming. Of course, we need the more melodic, reverent hymns too. I just like the balance and when there are too many slow ones I get melancholy back there.

But Sunday School was where it was at. Our teacher led a great discussion on what she called the power distance. It's hard to summarize but she began by talking about different cultures and the power distance that exists between individuals such as student and teacher. For example, in our country, the power difference is small. Anyone can be anyone. Nobody is limited (theoritically, not socioeconomically) by their birth or left out of a monarchy. So, the power difference between those who have it and those who are ruled by it is relatively small. Compare that to other cultures....those with dictatorships or monarchies or castes. Then she made the leap to Isaiah and the atonement. She talked about the biggest power difference of all...between the Savior and us. We absolutely cannot be exalted without Him. And yet, he was subject to scorn, ridicule, whips and eventually death. With that sacrifice, he truely showed POWER. And he hands it to us when we come to him. So, it's completely unique to any other power system model in any existing culture. It has characteristics of the individualistic (us having agency to choose to come to him- our power) and the power he has to "heal us with his stripes". I'm not doing a very good job at explaining it but it really moved me. I love discussions on the atonement. It could be discussed every week and I think there would be something new to learn each time.


The rest of the evening has been relaxing. We had a nice family dinner and watched the Bronco game in about an hour (DVR is so great for watching football. No commercials - very family friendly). We were bummed that they lost but it was actually the best football I've seen them play. Jay's at a meeting now (he just got called to be Sunday School president) and I really need to start going on this Christmas Creche Choir. I've been avoiding it thus far but time's a tickin.

Fragments

7:47 pm- all three boys in bed.

8:01 pm - Sit down to watch Grey's Anatomy from Thursday. Find out it was a rerun. (Grrr)

8:05 pm - Start watching "The Book of Mormon Movie - Part I - The Journey" from netflix.

8: 12 pm - Henry still crying (he's used to his portacrib but we put him back in his regular bed)

8:26 pm- Stop movie. Acting, dialogue....bad, bad, bad. In this case, the book is definitely better.

8:31 pm- Put in "Return of the King" DVD.

8:52 pm - Stop "Return of the King" ....we just weren't in the mood.

8:53 pm - Start reading Tell No One

8:54-10:20 pm - intermittently look up when Jay makes a comment about Halloween costume ideas he's researching online.

10:21 pm- Jay joins me in bed with his cold feet. Picks up a book.

10:36 pm - Get up to wash face and brush teeth. Family pictures today and need that eye make-up off!

10:41 pm- Tell Jay that my book is really good and want to finish it. He calls me crazy. Instead of turning off the light, I pick up my book again.

11:12 pm - Jay turns off his light. Says I can keep reading for as long as I like if he can keep his cold feet on me.

11:40 pm- Jay mumbles, "o.k....you can turn off the light now" (which he swears he doesn't remember saying)

11:41 pm- I try to sleep but my mind is still turning trying to figure out whodunit.

12: 28 am - Phone rings. I wake up and jump out of bed trying to find the phone. They hang up before I answer. Caller ID shows name and number I don't know.

12:29 am - I try to sleep but my mind is still turning trying to figure out who would have called in mistake. (the numbers were really close to our home number...but that wouldn't make sense...calling from the phone trying to reach the number that is close to our number....Jay thinks the switchboard made an error....but you can see my dilemma trying to figure that out in the middle of the night)

2:01 am- Henry cries

2:27 am- Henry still crying....louder.

2:28 am- I go upstairs and pick up Henry. He's poopy.

2:29 am- Change diaper. Amazingly, he's not easy to change even in the middle of the night. Wiggly worm.

2:30 am- Realize Henry is wide awake so mix him up a bottle to try to calm him down.

2:36 am- Henry is WAY more interested in playing than eating so put him in the portacrib with bottle (I know.)

7:12 am- Wake up to two big boys apparently stomping all the way to our room.

7:15 am- Get in shower.


P.S. A very happy birthday to my new niece, Sadie Jane, who was born at 2:30 am on October 27. Congratulations Jennifer and Christopher.

Book Review #14 - The Shipping News

This was another title I wrote down after browsing in a bookstore. The author is Annie Proulx (of Brokeback Mountain fame) and clearly a talented story teller. The title sounded familiar and after talking to my sister, I remembered that they made a movie based on this story. I'll have to rent it to see if it does justice to the wonderful writing.

A colorful book in a very drab setting, Newfoundland, each chapter begins with a title heading and description from Ashley Book of Knots that introduces the subject matter to come. The main characters are unusual, interesting and richly developed. The author varies her writing style depending on what is happening with the book. She writes with choppy and incomplete sentences when she narrates certain characters and with fluid and descriptive prose when creating a landscape. I wouldn't say it's a page turner....I could definitely put it down, but I really cared what happened to Quoyle and his daughters and Wavey and Beety and Dennis. I liked seeing them progress and improve and become closer.

I don't think I'd ever want to live in a small, isolated area. Seems like a lot of freaks and geeks congregate together and weird stuff happens. But that provided some of the quaintness of this book. Very well crafted.

No Title

Every once in a while, I can't think of an appropriate title. This really isn't about any one thing so I guess it could be titled Monday through Wednesday or even the more exciting School, Church, Grocery, Meetings, Volunteer Going Ons.

I've been doing T-Tapp everyday. Sister-in-law Bekki called me and invited me to Florida November 16th-19th to participate in her certification class in front of the Teresa Tapp. It's a workout I've been doing off and on for several years now that is great and especially good for backs so I couldn't have become gung-ho at a better time. I'm doing a bootcamp, which means I am going to do the workout 14 days in a row and then every other day until Florida. I'm very excited and once again, Jay will be watching the boys while I go. I am married to such a great guy.

As far as housework goes, I'm still way behind. I've been thinking a lot about it and I think it's a lot like debt, or using a credit card. It's not a bad thing as long as you can get it cleaned up (paid off) regularly so as not to incur interest. It can be a thing of convenience (you know...I'll let the vacuuming go for a couple of days because I have bookgroup on Thursday and will just have to do it again then) but if you let it go too long...you really struggle to get control of it again. To illustrate, I feel like I have thousands of dollars of debt with an APR of like 80%. Even making an effort to get stuff done, the interest (3 little boys, a busy husband and my own slovenly habits) is accruing faster than my measly payments pay it off. Might be time to call in some professionals! (Help me Dave Ramsey! Help me Oprah! Help me Merry Maids!)

Monday, Jay had the day off because he was post call and it had been a long time (I think since July) that he'd been home on a weekday. It was great except we hardly saw eachother. He went in to have lunch with Seth (which totally made Seth's day) and then he had a ton of cubscout things to do to get ready for pack meeting on Wednesday. We had FHE that night and Seth taught the lesson. He taught about Lehi and Nephi in prison and I seriously was like, "what? when?" until I realized he was talking about Helaman's sons and then kind of vaguely remembered it. I've got the beginning of the Book of Mormon down but some of that middle stuff doesn't get read all that frequently:) (for those wondering where Seth gets his information if not from his wise and all-knowing mother...it's called a fantastic "Book of Mormon Stories" DVD) Just another area of my life that needs work.

Tuesday, the boys got haircuts. Picture day at school was on Wednesday and Seth needed grooming. So off to Fantastic Sams we went. I really like how they cut the boys hair.

This picture cracks me up because I was having such a hard time getting Sammy to look at me. They have those huge wall mirrors and his own good looks was just too hard to pass up!

I have had some miserable experiences with Great Clips and equally bad dos given by my own uneven hand so happily join the older ladies at Fantastic Sams getting perms.

Can you count how many ladies are in there getting perms in the background? Three!

Afterwards in the car. Both boys are being so.....them.

I feel bad not really mentioning Henry at all. he's just as cute as ever and really a good baby. He loves grabbing things. Like my hair.

We had turkey burgers for dinner and then I was off for a Stake Meeting. I am not a big fan of meetings. They are usually not run efficiently and I have realized why people with "busy" callings are gone from their families so often. They are trapped in poorly managed meetings that really could take half the amount of time they usually take. This was a Stake Activity Meeting and first we had to go over Evening of the Arts and critique it. Painful. Everyone was happy with how it turned out and giving themselves a huge old pat on the back and I was thinking, "why are you so jolly holiday about it? All you did was buy the cake!" My suggestion was for more delegating next year. That seemed to confuse them so I said, "for instance...we had a light guy but all the light guy did was move the spotlight from person to person during the show. How about the "light guy" actually worry about the need for a second spotlight, renting and picking it up, setting it up and being there when we needed spotlights on during rehearsals. Taking them down afterwards and returning the rental." Just for example. I'm truly not bitter even though I realize I'm totally sounding like it. Maybe it was too fresh for me a mere 3 days later but it the conversation was over a half hour long and I felt like screaming "Let's move on!" Then a lot of time was given for the Creche activity, which is a great activity, but it turned into a creche planning meeting which was NOT the purpose of the meeting. The purpose was to report. I don't personally need to be involved in a discussion who will give the best price for printing or who is decorating trees and what's going on at the ward level. I just kept thinking of poor Jay, struggling at home getting all the boys to bed by himself and how much easier it was just sitting in that meeting. I felt anxious looking at the clock but I bet a lot of men don't really mind sitting there, feeling busy and important with a legitimate excuse to not help out brushing teeth and getting pajamas on. Much less getting dinner cleaned up. I guess not just men...that's not really fair, but a lot of the time it is men who have to go to these meetings that seem to take place so often for so many hours. Ward correlation meeting was the same when I had to go to that. I didn't intend for this to become such a bashing but I guess I just have these feelings.

Yesterday was volunteer day again which is nice. I like seeing Seth in his classroom and Sammy has a blast playing with Reese and Alec all day. I went with them to library time and watched the class listen to a great book that is really entertaining and the new librarian seems like a gem.

The librarian right before she started reading "Sweet Tooth" to the kids. They really enjoyed it.

Seth's teacher, Mrs. Harvey, is really into math so we went as a family to her Math Night where she demonstrated some of the math that they do as a class.

Seth is finding cards that add up to 10 and then covering them with new cards until he lays down the entire deck of cards.

Seth is very excited about math right now and came home on Monday with a blue ribbon for winning a flashcard contest. He was proud as a peacock and calling himself a mathematician and I love that he is excited about math. It's weird for me to see so much emphasis on competition after spending so many years in primary where there is pretty much a no-competition clause. And yet, I remember it being a huge motivator for me in school. Is competition a bad thing for kids? I feel lucky that Seth enjoyed the positive end of winning the competition but what about the kids who didn't? Does losing in that kind of environment harm them? (because it's a lot different than losing a game of candyland against your brother) I know, I know...Jay....I'm sounding like a communist where all things have to be equal but still, how else could the same thing be accomplished? I just want the kids who came in dead last to run home and shout out to his mom that he is also a mathematician. Because he understood it even if he wasn't the fastest. And for the poor kid who can't claim either...then I wish him all the help in the world.

That's it. No rhyme or reason, no plot or point...just a meander through the past few days in Luciville. Hey....there was my title!

Book Review #13- Strangling Your Husband Is Not An Option

I suppose I'd have to recommend this book because I'm dying to talk about it with someone. This book is a quick read. She writes in a very quirky style with lots of question marks and parentheses (hey...a kindred spirit). This book really should just be titled, "How to be a good wife" but admittedly, the title she chose is more catchy. Many of her points are well taken and I'm going to sincerely try to adopt some of them into my own behavior. However, some of her suggestions have a hint of self-promotion to them and she also fails to mention some rather important parts of being a wife (in my humble opinion). Nevertheless, it definitely can't hurt your marriage to read this and it would be fun to discuss. It had a bit of an old-school feel to it in the fact that it suggests you always have your hands and your face as attractive as possible since they are always showing. Basically, have manicured nails and always wear your lip gloss! As much as I mock it, though, I'm sure most husbands would appreciate the effort. Can I wear lip gloss, have rice cereal in my hair and it still count?

766 1/2

During medical school, we lived in a six-plex close to the Health Sciences Center campus. Most of the apartments were filled with students or those who worked in one of the many campus buildings or hospitals. The apartment building we lived in had five, two-bedroom apartments and one one-bedroom. The one bedroom apartment was directly below ours and had a strange floor plan due to the communal laundry room that took up a lot of the square footage the rest of the apartments had for kitchens and dining rooms. Perhaps for that reason, 766 1/2 attracted some strange fellows. When we first moved there, there was an angry black man who played his rap music very loudly. We had just moved from an apartment where our upstairs neighbor blared Lynard Skynard's "Freebird" every Saturday morning. Frustrated and nauseated after just returning home from work, I stomped my foot in protest and he came running upstairs to confront the person who would show such disrespect. I think having that first negative experience made us a bit wary of our downstairs neighbors. Thankfully, he and his wife and new baby moved out within 2 weeks of us arriving so there were no more confrontations.

The next occupant of 766 1/2 was a Chinese man who didn't speak any English. We hardly ever saw him but he liked to cook very, very pungent meals. I was pregnant with Seth at the time and threw up several times after catching a whiff of his latest concoction. I don't remember when he moved out but the next inhabitant was Donny (the drug dealer). Donny was a friendly chap who always had loads of cash. He enjoyed showing off his wad that he "claimed" was from tips he earned as a skyhop at the airport. He drove a Cadillac, had very nice jewelry and always had a friendly smile and a howdeedo. One day, the entire building became smoky and we determined the source to be coming from an apartment where no one answered the door. Worried about a possible fire, I called the fire department . He was very, very concerned about the fire department arriving and as soon as the fire trucks arrived, I noticed a suspicious looking, somewhat groggy, disheveled man stumble out of the building. Donny didn't stay long in 766 1/2.

Next came Suzy. Ahhhhh.......Suzy. Suzy and I were not close but I never sensed open hostility. The first week after she moved in, she displayed a real fondness for Seal, the musician, and soon had most of the words to "Crazy" memorized. It must have been what she listened to to relax because I never really heard any other album get blasted like that. But every few weeks, I'd hear that album played at full volume. "Oh we're never going to surviiiive...uuuunless....we get a little....craaazy."

Maybe the occupants of 766 1/2 had an inferiority complex. I sensed resentment for any movement by us upstairs, as if we walked with loathing upon their heads. In any case, Suzy didn't like us much and got her ultimate revenge on a hot August night.

Jay, Seth and I had just returned from an extended vacation (the kind you can only take when you're students) and had struggled with Seth at nighttime during the entire trip. We had been unable to let him cry-it-out in motel rooms and with other family members in nearby bedrooms so when we arrived home, we were determined he relearn his healthy sleep habits. Our apartment was really hot when it was hot outside. The building had cinderblock bricks for insulation and had windows facing east AND west for the full sun exposure. We had a swamp cooler that we placed in the front window during the day and moved to our bedroom at night and several other strategically placed fans in an attempt to cool down the roasting apartment.

That infamous night, we put Seth to bed and he immediately cried in protest. He had learned that mom and dad will sometimes come and get him if he cried loud and long enough. But he didn't realize that we were back home and we were no longer afraid of being annoying guests. What we didn't realize, however, is that Suzy had had enough of our tough love. We went to bed and at around 10:30 and I heard Seth start to cry again. He really needed to be retrained to sleep through the night so I ignored him and stayed in bed. To this day, I am an exceptionally light sleeper and cannot sleep through my kids crying but that day, in that sweltering environment with the buzz of fans going, being so sleep deprived from traveling, I slept through his cries. I slept all the way until I heard a loud pounding on my bedroom door yelling, "Get Up! Get Up!" "Move! Move! Move!" by men in black shining a large spot flashlight in my face and around the room. Jay and I stumbled out of bed in panic as they herded us into the living room. We were both sleeping in our garments as it was so hot but I managed to pull my robe off of the door on my way out. We entered our living room which was occupied by about eight policemen and a policewoman. Looking out our front window, I saw 3 police cars with lights flashing and heard several radios communicating with eachother. In complete shock, I saw my one-year-old son being held by a stern looking police woman who was intent on keeping him away from me. We started answering questions thrown at us as fast as we could to clear up this very unfortunate mistake. No, we didn't hear the phone ring...twice. No, we didn't hear the knocks on the door to our apartment. Our neighbor, Suzy, had called the police? Was worried about a baby who had been crying for an hour? Thought maybe the parents had left the baby alone in the apartment or were too drugged to respond? Such a caring neighbor....that Suzy.

The policewoman finally let go of Seth and he came toddling over to me. They could see that we weren't abusing him, that we just couldln't hear the phone or the door with all of the fans and reprimanded our situation that, in their view, was dangerous. We were instructed to remedy the situation...put a phone in our bedroom, etc. and we nodded and "yes sirred" with complete humility. They left and mortified, Jay and I just stared at eachother...neither believing what had just happened. Could they have taken Seth if we hadn't convinced them that we were fit parents? Could we never let Seth cry again?

A couple of days later, a social worker came to follow up and immediately assured us that we would have no record and it was obvious that this was a huge misunderstanding. She did counsel us to become more friendly with our neighbors so this sort of thing wouldn't happen again and if we were going to let our son cry (which she totally understood was sometimes necessary) to let our neighbors know that we would be doing that.

We had one more year with Suzy living below us. She never, ever talked to us about her infamous phone call, and we never confronted or apologized to her about it. I'd still hear "Crazy" from time to time and wondered if she meant it as a message to me. Maybe, somewhere, Suzy is blogging about good old apartment 766.

You might as well get comfortable...

because I have a lot of catching up to do. I make no apologies for it either (jay). So put on your comfy pants, get yourself a refreshing beverage and settle in. This might take awhile.

My week of stress hasn't been good for the blog. Or the diet. Or my back. My casa is a mess. Not just a mess but a disaster. Clean laundry covers my bedroom floor because I haven't had time to fold it and I don't have enough baskets to hold it. My kitchen countertops are covered with junk that needs to be put away but not thrown away. But this is not the point of the blog. This is just the result of the week that will now be blogged about.

THE HAIRCUT

Thursday morning, I dropped Sam and Henry off at Andreas and went to see Janet, my hairdresser. Janet is....young. She gives a nice haircut, does great color but to spend three whole hours trapped in conversation with her is very tedious. I've had a few hairdressers where it's almost like going to therapy, it's so easy to talk and banter. That is not the case with Janet so I find myself asking her a lot of questions to steer the conversation into a tolerable area for me. I took my camera to the appointment but as soon as I turned it on the screen displayed the "battery empty" message. So no Janet or before and after photos to entertain you. Janet is also very good at waxing eyebrows. I used to never wax my eyebrows. I've plucked them a few times but it wasn't until a year ago that I tried it for the first time. The last time I had them waxed, I didn't like the shape my brow had taken with my plucking so let them grow in. When she saw them, she said, "oh my...those do need some work" and felt she needed to further make her point by showing me how much hair she had removed by holding up the paper she used. It was a tad humiliating to feel like such a hairy beast and I vowed to not let it happen again. But it did. When we were in Phoenix, I lost my tweezers and was surprised how fine my eyebrows were growing back in. But then they turned obnoxiously dark and long and by then, it was overwhelming to pluck them all out. I knew I had this appointment in a week and that she could just get them back into a nice shape. Clearly, I hadn't learned my lesson so when she lifted my bangs to apply the wax and said "holy cow!" I was inwardly cursing her. Doesn't she know that people go to salons to feel pretty? Well, apparently, you have to already look good to avoid any of those helpful comments. But I am a hairy beast no longer.

THE TWINS

Finding babysitters is always a challenge for me. There is really only one girl in our ward who babysits and she is usually busy. As I am not one to think a great deal ahead, I am usually looking for a babysitter that very night or the next night. I knew this week was going to be incredibly busy, however, and started my search on Monday. I left many messages and kept getting disappointing replies. So on Wednesday, I panicked and called the old reliables....the twins. They are always available. For a reason. They aren't very good. I think the reason I even consider them is because, although I know they are extremely inept, no major disaster has happened. Diapers might not get changed, food not put away and I might find DVD's in the VCR but still....nothing bad happens to my kids. They don't even complain when I bring them home, which I figure they would if it were miserable for them.

When I called on Wednesday, Cassie answered who, of the two of them, is the most awkward. That's not saying much but she has some minor handicap that makes her hard to understand and walk with a bit of a limp. Her sister, Amanda, is normal in that regard but still extremely awkward. Cassie told me that her mother wasn't home. Pause. I asked if she could call me back when she knew if she could and she said yes. No call back Wednesday, another babysitter calling to say she couldn't and I'm starting to panic. I had reservations for a temple session and really wanted to go. Thursday afternoon, the phone rings and I say hello. "this is Cassie". LONG pause. Me: "are you calling about babysitting?" Her: "yes." Me: "Can you?" Her: "yes." Me (rolling my eyes and how painful this is) "can I come get you at 5:30?" Her: "yes". End of conversation. We ended up having a great night going to the temple and then to the Olive Garden with our good friends, Chad and KariAnn. The house didn't burn down. The kids were in bed with clothes on....what more can I ask?

FIELDTRIP

Friday morning, Sam, Henry and I drove to a U-pick farm where Sammy's preschool fieldtrip was being held. We couldn't have picked a better day to go. The sun was shining bright, the air was crisp and apples and pumpkins were ready to be picked.

right before we started. Sammy is feeling very self conscious because he is wearing a patch and the kids keep making comments. It's sad but he's starting to care and tells me he looks "stupid" when he wears one.

Sammy with his teacher

First, his class got to go sample apple butter,

listening to "Granny Apple" talk about apple stars and apple butter

and see how an apple is sliced and cored. Then they went on a tractor pulled "train"ride to the apple orchard and each person picked an apple.

Sammy picked a green apple and was able to eat it on the ride back

After the ride, we all went and watched apple cider get made and sample some fresh cider. Delicious. Then we walked over to the pumpkin patch and picked out a pumpkin.

Sammy found one right away. I wondered if he wanted to look around but he was happy with his choice.

Henry just hung out in the Baby Bjorn and we were all glad to be outside and together.

Beautiful day!

I knew I had a lot to get done that day so it was nice to do something fun in the beginning of the day so that Sammy didn't feel ignored and drug around all day.

EVENING OF THE ARTS

This is a design that Devin did. So much talent! I love it.

On Wednesday, another group cancelled. We had asked a local Baptist church to come and perform (they had done this several years ago...so there was some relationship) and they agreed and committed over 2 months ago. At the dress rehearsal Tuesday night, they didn't show up and the cultural arts chair made a comment to me about how they hadn't returned any of his messages. I sort of did the pursed-lips-what- do- you- do- shrug (maybe only I do that) and hoped for the best. But on Wednesday, the dreaded call came. There had been a miscommunication, they'd been double booked....blah, blah, blah. I couldn't believe our "featured" performers were backing out and felt dumb because most of our advertising had them on the posters. People that cared would definitely notice their absence on the program. I went over after Seth got home from school to start setting up...music stands, lights, extension cords, microphones, pianos, signs, put some white lights on the fake trees, set out the programs. It took longer than I thought and by the time I was done, it was time to pick up the babysitter. I still had to change and freshen up but the babysitter could start feeding the kids and entertaining them so it was actually easier. I made it to the church around 5:45 and the problems started. There was some interference so that whenever the wireless microphones were on, BYUTV could be heard over the speaker system. I had no idea what to do and was frustrated that our "sound" guy wasn't there. Performers started to arrive by my instruction at 6:00 for a spot check and our spotlights weren't even out of the closet because someone had put them away into a closet that noone seemed to have a key for. I was totally stressed out and could feel myself losing my cool a bit. Thankfully, everything got sorted out and the event turned out fabulous! The talent was so good....so professional.

The Master of Ceremonies for the concert

The first act was a bluegrass band, then a flute duet,
musical theater from Wicked,
a harp solo, unbelievably good jazz saxophone and piano duo,

original poetryopera aria, two piano ensemble blues band, and celtic fiddles. There were no glitches, the variety just flowed and the night was so great.

Rebecca helped me put these favors for the performers together.

As soon as the concert started, I had a grin from ear to ear because I knew it was just so good. I really didn't know how most of the acts would sound so was so relieved that not one was just mediocre. They were all so, so talented. So then there was the post show high that came from mingling and the relief that it was over. I'm so glad it's over! But mostly I'm glad that it turned out. It's always a nice reward to have your efforts matter and the comments I received were positive and that the show was really entertaining.

BABY GIRL

Saturday morning, I drove down to attend Jen's baby shower.

We're really more of the same height. I'm slouching or something because she looks a lot taller than me here.

I was able to meet her friends and ooh and ahh over all of her fabulous, cute baby girl clothes. She did get some diapers but everything else was just ridiculously cute and pink. There was some lavender too but this will be one, well outfitted little girl. Jen looks so good for only having 2 weeks left. I can't believe we have the same DNA because she just has this little basketball where I always spread out a bit more comprehensively. She's worked her tail off, doing T-Tapp practically every day so I have to give her credit. I find out I'm pregnant and don't move on purpose for the next year. Her hostesses had a nice shower for her with a yummy breakfast spread. They had parfait glasses and we could all build our own with yogurt, berries and granola. There were also scones, pumpkin cookies, banana bread, hot chocolate and O.J. I could tell she had some great friends and it was nice to see her for the day.

Jen and her four hostesses.

Sammy came with me and played with his cousins all day. We went out to lunch after the shower for some yummy mexican. Then I drove home in time to pick up dinner. I have been eating such crap lately. But having a lot of fun doing it:)

That's mostly my weekend. I woke up this morning with the worst backpain yet. I don't know why. I think my stress is settling there. I was having some serious spasms and tried a couple of ladies to find an organ substitute but neither could do it. So I dug through my medicine cabinet and found some old prescription drugs from my postpardum days that weren't expired and popped a couple of those. Jay was on call today so I called my visiting teacher who is a newlywed and doesn't have any kids to sit with my three boys during sacrament meeting. I am always humbled by service for me and am thankful for the kindness of friends. KariAnn called and invited me over for dinner even though Jay was gone. It was so nice to go over there and have the kids entertain eachother and just sit around and talk for hours. It made Sunday go so fast! I was dreading the rest of the day...lifting Henry around. But my back doesn't hurt at all right now. The drugs definitely should have worn off by now. Maybe my tearful prayer before church was answered.

I'm looking forward to this week. I have a lot of housework to catch up on and I need to get my choir for the Christmas Creche organized by the weekend. I'll be busy but I'll be busy around here so I shouldn't have to write a novel next time.

Busy, Busy, Busy

After a few days without blogging, I've realized how much I depend on writing to decompress. I feel like a wound-up toy. Go, go, go. My thoughts are all jumbled and can't really think of a point. It's just been a busy couple of days and nothing is going to change until Sunday.

It's crunch time for Evening of the Arts. It's amazing how much time something like this takes. I've thought a lot recently about why we do things like this. It's a stake event, and my instructions were to pull together some of the very best talent in our stake for a classy evening of entertainment. As motivation for the performers, advertising and my own sanity, I've been wondering....why? As best as I can come up with, it is that Heavenly Father wants us to enjoy this life. I've researched online old stories about uplifting entertainment, music, song and dance and have learned that throughout history, the Lord encourages and directs us to be cheerful, be happy, seek out good things and develop talents. I suppose this is an opportunity for all of those things...mostly for those coming to listen. The dress rehearsal was last night and I do think the talent is amazing. People who come will be entertained. And I hope the performers find some joy in doing it as well. I'll mostly be glad when it's over. I performed in it a couple of years ago and it's WAY easier to sing a little ditty than to organize it. I guess because I can compare the two, I'm frustrated with those who can't sacrifice a little bit of time. We have 12 performances all together. 4 called yesterday before the dress rehearsal to say they would be late. One called to ask if he could go first so he could leave early. One called to see when would be the best time for her to come so that she wouldn't have to be there the whole time. One forgot about it because he just never checks the email address that he gave me. He told me he should have given me his work one and I thought...."well...duh!" Anyway, it should all work out and no one will have to listen to my nagging on this blessed event any longer. It'll be about the Christmas Creche Choir!

We did FHE Halloween Phantoming on Monday night. Our ward doesn't follow the rule if you've been hit you can't be hit again so chances are good that you get hit several times. The instructions are to go out the following Monday night and hit two more families but I just wanted to get ours done with so we went out and did eight homes! It took awhile and the boys got caught 3 of the times but Seth, with his good nature, called it one of his best nights yet. Jay and I were clenching our teeth by the end of the night with the fun job of rebuckling seatbelts every 5-10 minutes. Seth panics if the car moves and Sam's not buckled (it's usually his job to get Sam buckled) so there were some tears too. Good times!

I volunteered in Seth's class again today and watched my friends' boys this afternoon. I took them all to Costco and the library and you should see the stares I got. Several people asked me if they were all mine. I suppose 4 boys ages 5 and younger seems outrageous but so what? Thankfully, I only needed formula (but ended up with milk, cookie dough, jeans, and fruit leathers) so there was room in the cart for everyone! And I bribed them with frozen swirl yogurt if they could make it through the store without getting 3 warnings. Success.

Tonight I'm making the candles. Tomorrow I've got a hair appointment, need to go get a special lightbulb and pick up programs and get them folded, find some piano lights to borrow and pick up a babysitter. We are going to the temple for Ward Temple Night and I won't even embarrass myself by revealing how long it's been since I went last.

I've hardly seen Jay. We just pass occasionally. Quick hugs, apologies and thank-yous. I recruited him to be my second spotlight guy at E of A so he'll have a job that night too! What a guy.

'till next time.....

Jay's Great Find

There are many reasons I love Jay. His enthusiasm for....whatever it is he is enthusiastic about is one of them. This story is a perfect example.

Jay has experienced a bit of hard times with coats of late. He couldn't find his leather jacket for almost a year but thankfully it turned up when we were dejunking the old truck. When he couldn't find the leather jacket he bought a nice black fleece but left it on the airplane while traveling in April. As the weather turned cooler recently, he realized he needed another "lighter" jacket. He doesn't ever shop so either I needed to find him something or he would just start wearing his heavier leather coat. He surprised me last week when he came home totally high after working at the VA. When he comes home, I am reading in bed and he enters the bedroom with a big grin on his face and begins telling me about canteens. Canteens are little stores in VA hospitals, maybe other VA facilities, but it's a term that is used for a store among vets. Apparently, there is a canteen in this VA hospital that carries 20 oz sodas for $.95 (which is another thing Jay is enthusiastic about) so he routinely goes to buy one during a break. He's never mentioned this to me so he has to explain what sort of commodities the canteen sells. I guess it's pretty random stuff and it rotates frequently. Sometimes, they might have televisions, ties, underwear, hats (for every possible vet), housedresses, statues, patches, vacuum cleaners, pots and pans. The visual in my mind is almost sensory overload but vets who make a day out of their doctor appointments must love it. While purchasing his Diet Pepsi, he notices some new arrivals. Fleeces. There are four colors. Bright yellow, bright green, bright red and then behind the yellow....two blue fleeces. He manages to pull one of the blue ones down and (drum roll)....it's his size! He checks the price. It's cheap! He purchases the blue fleece and considers himself a champion shopper.

After he finishes telling me about the "canteen" he proceeds to ask me how much I think a nice, thick fleece would cost. I shrug and tell him it would depend on where I was shopping. So he tells me, "think Costco" and so I reply, "probably $25-30". He nods, his eyes dancing at the correctness of my answer, and continues his interrogation. "Guess what I got this fleece for?" Now...how am I supposed to answer? Obviously, it's less than $25 to $30 but I don't want to burst his revelation bubble. That's the whole fun of the story. I'm thinking $10-$15 but want him to experience the Ta-Da that he wants to give so I say, "$15 or $20. I was a little too close but still above the correct price. He tells me it was only $11.99 and points out once more the high quality of the fleece.

I still hadn't seen the miracle fleece so he pulls it out of its white, plastic bag and puts it on. I should have just "oohed" and "ahhed" but he asked me what I thought. I told him that it sort of looked like an old-man jacket. It's pretty bright and the white, reflective line just reminded me of his dad's jogging suit (no offense, Vaughn...if you ever read this. It looks GREAT on you!)

What a steal! And he can be seen at night!

One week and seven wears later, the zipper is broken. It was great while it lasted. He'll still wear it...busted zipper and all. He's so unpretentious. He's this guy that cares about what he looks like and likes to be well-groomed but doesn't need to wear the latest fashion. Believe me, sometimes I wish he didn't wear some of the clothes in his closet. He's got a couple of doozies that I just can't seem to convince him to throw out but he has his own mind. That's just another reason I love him.

Oh, My Aching Back

I've never really had back problems. I hope I am able to continue to say that for some time but for the last 5 days, my lower back has been really hurting. I'm not sure if it was the tile, sleeping wrong or what but I'm a bit of an invalid.

I had been planning on painting the banister with the help of Andrea on Friday night. She had arranged to come over even though her husband was gone for a scouting campout. I told her that I didn't think I could paint and that she should just enjoy her evening at home. Admittedly, I was bummed that I would be solo for the evening as an evening of gabbing is usually right up my ally and Andrea didn't let me down. She called and suggested sharing a sitter and just going out to dinner instead. I took my kids to her house in their pajamas and we took off around 7:00 to eat at the new P.F. Changs.

Downtown was really hopping. If Jay and I go downtown, it's usually with the kids around 5:30 or 6:00. Let's just say that the crowd changes a bit around 7:30. I cringed at the girls walking around sporting the latest fashion trend of skinny jeans and long sweaters. I cannot imagine who thinks this is a good look for them and we discussed our fear of capris going out of style. Perhaps they already are. I'm not exactly on top of the fashion game but I'm going to wear capris until they stop selling them. And maybe beyond then if I can keep them in one piece.

The wait at the restaurant was an hour and a half to an hour and fifty minutes. Undettered, we walked across the street to the shopping center and hit the GAP, Nordstroms, Ann Taylor, and Pottery Barn.

Got some cute browns at the GAP. I love that this color is in because it's been my favorite for forever.

I bought a few things at the GAP for family pictures but the rest of the time we just looked around. After a little more than a hour, we headed back to the restaurant to just sit and wait and people watch. Conversation never lacks with Andrea around, so we giggled and gawked at our co-diners and happily were seated not too long after.

We ordered the famous lettuce wraps, mongolian beef and the kungpao chicken. Delicious. We had a couple of loud, drunk women next to us that seemed to mistake the restaurant for some sort of club where they had to laugh loudly and sing along to the music but thankfully they left while we were waiting for our order. Our waitress was a bit obnoxious too. The restaurant just opened last week and so you have to figure that all of the wait staff were just recently trained. Somehow, I don't think at any time during their training that they were told to discuss their sinuses with their patrons.

After the good food. Our waitress was able to take this picture ,clogged sinuses and all!

Saturday, Jay worked from 7:30 until 1:30. I sat around feeling sorry for myself for awhile and then the drugs kicked in and I felt o.k. So, I cleaned the garage enough to park my van in there again. Not clean-clean but clean enough. It was pretty bad after our construction week. Got some laundry done and took care of the kiddos. When Jay got home, I left with Rebecca to find some materials to make appreciation candles for each of the performers for Evening of the Arts. Rebecca is the most talented crafter I know. Thankfully, she was willing to come along and give me ideas. We didn't get home until 6:00 and then it was dinner and getting the kids to bed. I headed to the Stake Center and our building to add a larger black poster board to the Evening of the Arts posters I had set up last week. They just needed to be a bit bigger to attract more attention. I should have taken a picture of that but I didn't. I will later. It's beautiful. Rebecca's husband is a graphic designer and did a fabulous job. I'm looking forward to the event and to have it over because it is a bit of a headache. Then we watched ridiculously bad Saturday evening television and went to bed.

Today we're just taking it easy. My back is really hurting and I've tried some different stretches but they don't seem to help. I can't imagine it will hurt for much longer. It's got to be a muscle thing. And it's crimping my style.

Teddy Bear Picnic

That's the name of Seth's first grade lunch party today. I think this is the last year a teacher could get away with that title for a coed party. Each kid was supposed to bring in a teddy bear and then parents and younger siblings could come and eat lunch with them outside. They decorated cupcakes with gummybears and teddygrahams and served their guests. Pretty sweet and chewy with all of that on top of frosting. I'm still not sure what the point was. But Sammy had a great time going to the "big" school and it was a nice outing for me.

Henry getting some attention

The party. I'm realizing this isn't a very good shot.

We took a cute denim quilt my mom made.

Nothing else to report. Jay is on call tonight and I had to postpone my painting party because my back is really hurting. I don't think squatting and bending are a good idea right now. So the railing is going to have to wait awhile longer.

P.S. I hope you have all enjoyed the David Hasselhoff video. I, unfortunately, have had "Hooked on a Feeling" in my head for 2 days now. Who knew it was such a catchy tune?

Perks and Pitfalls

Last night I missed my weight watchers meeting....again. My meeting is every Wednesday at 6:30. This has been my attendance record the last 5 weeks. Weigh in-don't stay for meeting because I have a church meeting, weigh-in-skip meeting because Jay is on call and I have all three boys, out of town-no weigh in, miss meeting due to necessity of getting wood at store before closing for stair construction and Jay isn't home yet, miss meeting due to angio procedure that went long. Quite the record. The whole reason, I think, WW works is you get embedded in a group with the support of a leader and fellow dieters. I know some people manage to succeed doing it online (you know who you are) but believe me, I have tried anonymously and seem to need my humiliation to be public.

I chose Wednesdays for my weigh-in because that seemed to give me the best chance of consistently making it there. Jay doesn't have very much Wednesday call anymore (it's a bad call night and they front load it on the younger residents) and any other night has a routine conflict. But this golden night has turned out to be like every other - INCONSISTENT. Last night, Jay rushed home as fast as he could and I could have gone and made a scene entering 15 minutes late and force someone to get up from the meeting to weigh me. I've seen it done and those particular people are more committed than me. I was disappointed and went online and cancelled my membership so they can stop siphoning money from my checking account. Jay apologized and I told him that I don't blame him. Really, I don't. It's one of the pitfalls of being married to a doctor. You never know what the evening holds. I could get babysitters. But that takes planning and knowing and money! The problem is the minute-by-minute uncertainty. Waiting for a phone call to see when he'll be home. But he can't always call. And he is never going to have a regular schedule. It might get a bit better than it is now but I am never going to get a guaranteed 5:30 homecoming from him.

There are perks. He has a job that is well respected in any community and has great job security (once he actually has a job, of course). He now possesses skills that get reimbursed well. Locums are a fantastic source of extra income. He's handy for looking in ears and writing prescriptions. Unlimited ultrasounds when pregnant! Free trips. He amuses me with interesting stories and cases. And, of course, the promise of a nice paycheck in the future.

I know I should not give up. I don't want to. The Biggest Loser was on last night and the red team is so dysfunctional. I could be on that team. The hardest thing for me to conquer is my moodiness. Some days I feel like I can do anything and others like nothing really matters. Give me some stress and you can put money on me skipping working out and heading for the chocolate.

Should I keep trying for Wednesdays? Do something completely different? There are so many options and I know the saying "the best diet and exercise program is the one you'll do". What will work for me?

Book Review #12 - Never Let Me Go/Bookgroup Highlights

This book is really best read without any prior knowledge about it. I picked it for this month's book group and we had a pretty good discussion about it. Andrea said it best when she said that while reading the first page, she thought the word "carer" was a misprint and that they meant "career". My favorite thing about this book is the writing. Not the choice of words but the view of the world the writing gives the reader of this story. It is so unfamiliar, so foreign that it takes awhile to figure out what is going on. But the author is in no rush to placate the curious or the impatient (are you a patient reader, Kristen?). He takes his time getting the reader accustomed to this strange girl, Kathy H. and her strange world.

Once I figured out what was going on and started to digest it, ethical questions, moral dilemnas, and the irresistable urge to compare it to real life debates floated around in my thoughts for a good week. I knew this would be a book I wanted to discuss with others and the book group didn't disappoint.

We had a fun time, as always, and had great food. Andrea made soup and served bread. She also replicated Starbucks Carmel Cider with whipped cream. Good stuff. We stayed late and I'm paying the price today. Andrea has such a beautiful home and it was a great relief to get out of mine. I received badly needed sympathy to my remodel woes and laughed with everyone at some hilarious video. Alisa clued us into this gem. If you ever need to lift your spirits, watch this. Maybe that's why the germans love him so much. Are they a particularly happy people?




O.K....to be fair he seems to be poking fun of himself. Here's one that really shows off his extraordinary talent. Mind you, the words "hit single" do appear in the same sentence with the title of this song.

The Saga Continues

I don't want to blog about this anymore. Truely, I don't. But this amazing tragedy continues to unfold and the story needs telling.

That someone who was coming today never showed up. Never called. Never even returned a message from me asking what was up. At 12:00, Jen called and asked for a progress update. She suggested going on craigslist.com and looking for skilled trade ads. By 12:30, I had called "Merlin" (his real name), and informed him of my need. He said he could be at my house at 12:45. I mentioned the electrical work that needed to be done and he said, "no problem."

At 12:45, three men got out of a rusted, skyblue truck. One quickly finished his cigarette and the other two walked toward my door. Honestly, I considered not opening it. Sketchy looking and young, I wondered if it was even safe for a woman with two small children at home to invite them in. I said a quick prayer and opened the door with a confident, friendly "hello" and showed them the problem.

They didn't really know what to do. My neighbor, Courtni, came over last night and told me to ask whoever was coming if they could just move the entire cupboard over closer to the refrigerator. I asked them if it was possible and it's like a lightbulb went on over their heads. All three of them start wiggling it and it's obvious that it will move. So that became the plan of attack. They had no tools, however, and started asking me for such and such. Nails, screwdrivers, razor blades, hammer, caulking gun, flashlight, socketwrench. I'm running up and down the stairs to the garage looking for things. I'm not exactly a licenced contractor yet, contrary to my last few posts, and I don't even know what a socket wrench is. I have an idea. I've heard of it before. But locating it was a bit of a challenge.



They rehardwired the stove because that's what they knew what to do. I think they might have known how to do it from stealing cars (mean...but probably true). The stove works, fits (very roughly) and then came the price haggling. No joke, Merlin told me $160. I think I did the neck-jut-forward-eye-opening-eyebrow-raising thing. Seriously? It took them an hour and he told me with $30/hour/guy plus gas that it seemed fair. I told him that I supplied the tools, they didn't clean up and I didn't ask for three guys....I asked for one. He told me that when I asked him about electrical that he assumed that meant he needed to bring someone for electrical. I told him I felt like $50 was fair and he laughed. I got a very nervous feeling and felt like I needed them to leave my house. So I said, "$90 - for each guy for one hour" and he said $100 and I said $90. I started to write a check and he said, "I need cash. I don't have two forms of I.D." I told him I have $5 in cash and I'm not going to a bank. He hollered at his friends to see if either of them have two forms of I.D and the smoker with 3 front teeth missing said he did. What a sophisticate.

My hope of finding someone who could finish other odd jobs vanishes again. I was hoping I'd be impressed with the Russians and perhaps get them to finish other jobs that would ease Jay's "honey-do" list. This guys's advertisement of "do anything handyman" seemed very promising. As soon as I saw them, though, I knew that I didn't want them around for long.

I don't know if I did the right thing by having them do this to the kitchen. It doesn't look very good.



I feel like crying. I'm so stressed and tired of it all. This is all very humiliating to me. I consider myself smart, able and independent. But I just want this to go away or have someone else make all of the decisions.

I promise my next blog will be happy. Maybe even funny. As my title suggests, I'm having a bit of a spasm right now. Eventually, I'll get to the flow part again. Seems like my french penpal knew what he was talking about after all.

Hit Me Baby One More Time

I hadn't planned on today being another one of those kind of days. Yesterday, I felt a great spirit at church and really calmed myself. A new family was confirmed in Sacrament meeting, testimonies were good, gospel doctrine was enlightening (gotta love Isaiah) and in relief society we talked about drawing closer to Heavenly Father. The teacher talked about our attitudes and I recalled Elder Bednar's talk during conference about how no one can make us feel anything. Only we control how we react. He was referring to being offended but I applied it to being crazy-mad-frustrated. So I was feeling a bit calmer compared to Saturday.

Saturday was a very long day for the man working on our railing (there were two here but one couldn't be older than 14 and didn't do very much other than hold the level). He stayed until 10:00 at night and still wasn't quite finished. I felt compassion toward him as he was a hard worker and so much of the struggle was due to a language barrier. When he explained that he needed to come back on Sunday to finish because he couldn't come at all after that as he had another project we hesitantly said o.k. He's just not the kind of man you would be inclined to launch a verbal attack on. (Unless you're me earlier in the day). But it was very embarrassing to hear the miter saw cutting wood the moment I came out of the doors of church. We live right by the church so everyone driving to and from pretty much sees our house and knew that we had some work going on.

This is the view from my front porch. We are very visible from the church.

When it came down to the finish work...putting on the molding around the railing, we weren't happy with the size of molding we bought. It was too narrow and didn't cover all of the construction so we told him we would finish it when we bought what we wanted. So...it's not quite finished but almost.

Moldings, painting and the the floors. Someday it'll be done.

We have also needed a new stove for years. We knew that we needed to buy one before we tried to sell this house because our current stove doesn't have any knobs, one of the burners doesn't work and the broiler doesn't work either. I bought one on my Home Depot odyssey the other night and it was delivered this morning. The stove we are replacing is a "drop-in" style but to buy a drop-in is twice as much as buying a slide in. The friendly Home Depot associates (which I'm quickly learning means "I really don't know what I'm talking about but I'll be as helpful as they trained me to be") told me it was a simple conversion if we owned a skill saw. We do and I happen to be married to someone comfortable using it so I went the less expensive route. Jay had cut away the countertops that needed to be removed in the back and the bottom part because a drop in doesn't go all the way to the floor in front. It was not easy and I should have taken pictures of some of the positions he had to get in to saw off pieces. But it wasn't funny at the time and I don't think he would have appreciated it. Anyhow, it was delivered this morning and the installers said that our old stove was hardwired and he's not able to do any electrical work...other than plug it in. So, he left it in the middle of my kitchen. I started to look in the yellow pages for an electrician but tried to slide it in first to see how it looked. And, of course, how fitting with my luck recently... it doesn't fit. Too wide.

See? Nothing fancy. It's not like I'm trying to be all uppity. Just your basic white stove that's too wide.

Not by much. A half-inch or so but still...it' doesn't fit. I called Jay and could tell he's just tired of dealing with my projects and the resulting fiasco. So I flipped from "E" in the yellow pages to "C" looking for some sort of a contractor to cut away at my kitchen countertops/cabinets. Someone is coming tomorrow. I have no idea how it'll turn out. If it'll be a simple fix or what. Heavy, heavy sigh. I have to do something. I just can't not have a stove and a big hole in the kitchen. I just hate that this has turned into something complicated. This, I thought, would be easy.

Inept, Inconsiderate and Just Plain Lame.

I probably shouldn't write this. I don't usually say things in the heat of the moment but rather silently brood and ignore to show my rage. Not very effective, or healthy emotionally, but it usually keeps me from saying things that I would need to apologize for later.

Frustration oozes from my fingertips as I type this. I have been bombarded with less than acceptable behavior lately. From family members to friends, evening of the arts performers to Russians...I have little faith in humankind today. No one seems to care about following through, giving their best or even showing common courtesy.

Evening of the Arts if falling apart. When I invited each person to perform, I was very clear about the caliber of the event and how important it was to follow through (i.e...practice and NOT cancel because you don't feel ready). I don't know all the ins-and-outs of everyone's personal life but I think it's fairly safe to say that out of sixteen people, five of them probably don't have a major crisei that prevents them from performing. Especially that they already know about 12 days before the event! Give me a break. And somehow, it just never occurred to most of them to let me know about it. I had to hunt them down, waste hours of time for absolutely no reason at all. Why can't there be a label on people to save the effort?. One label might say, "talented but flaky" or "talks big but can't deliver". The nice ones can proudly wear "returns messages" and "takes commitments seriously."

And where to begin with my house? Monday...this project was supposed to begin. When it didn't start until Wednesday I was understanding. Even encouraging and thankful. But then Thursday, they couldn't come until 4:00 and then said they could work for two hours. Fine...let's get as much done as possible. Oh, but you want to talk to me about your plans for an hour (BECAUSE IT TAKES THAT LONG WHEN NEITHER OF US SPEAK THE OTHER'S LANGUAGE!)? And you can't come Friday? Bummer. This is not going to be done when I'd hoped it would. But the promise of ALL day Saturday appeased me. Starting at 8:00 and working until finished. O.K. How can you fall behind on an 8:00 am appointment? Somehow, it's possible because when they weren't here by 11:00 and I called to find out, I was told that they were running several hours behind schedule. They were very busy after all.

Now they are busily at work. Plans have changed numerous times. The main guy actually had the impertinence to say he wished the laminate hadn't been cut (which THEY did on Wednesday) because the piece of wood he was going to use as the base didn't fit. The piece of wood was too narrow. It took an hour to decide how to remedy the situation. And he kept looking at me for approval. Like I know what he's doing. I'd get it explained to me and each time I think I said, "o.k...do that". But then he'd pause, look at the wood...be silent for forever...and then suggest something else. I finally slapped my hand down on the piano and said, "Just decide and do something. This has to get started!" to which Jay told me, "that doesn't help, Lucy."

So there it is. My frustration at the world. I can't stand anymore lameness today. I seriously just received an email, while typing this, from a ward bulletin specialist with a response to my email, two weeks ago, that she no longer does this. That's another thing that bugs. Callings change every minute and it's impossible to avoid starting from square one each time there is a stake event. Who is your choir director, your bulletin person, your music chair, your organist, your altos and tenors and basses and sopranos? It's always different. So, there will probably only be about 20 people at the blasted event because no one even knows about it.

I thought I might feel better but I still don't. Read it while you can because I might have to delete it when I regret my rant.