Sad, Sick Baby

Sam helps hold a baby who wants to be help during our busy morning

I kept him home from well meaning but touchy people at church for six weeks.

I have hand sanitizer in my purse, in the diaper bag and next to the mobile diaper changing station.

I have dutifully barked at whichever boy has the most current drippy nose to "Get your face away from him!"

He's immunized. I breastfeed. I haven't taken him to the gym day care once. It feels like I'm fighting an unwinnable war because, in spite of all my effort, my baby is sick.

I know babies get sick. I remember being a laid back germ moderate who understood that kids get sick and then get better. Just like the rest of us. Then, Henry scared us by succumbing to a winter newborn's worst nightmare: RSV and Strep Pneumo, and was in the PICU for two weeks before it was safe for him to breath on his own once more. When I realized I was to have another winter baby, some of my earliest concerns were the dreaded seasonal viruses. As a student of microbiology I understand our severe disadvantage in the battle against germs. We are horribly outnumbered.

The stuffy nose started in earnest on Thursday. It's almost surprising it's taken him this long to get sick considering the non-stop rotation of colds that have infected his older brothers since before Christmas. Even I have managed to stay healthy, though I did have a cough and 24 hour fever that came and went last weekend. Yesterday, the coughing joined the lambs legs dripping from his nostrils. Today, he is sleepy and lethargic. I am monitoring every diaper change to make sure he's not dehydrated and timing how long he nurses because Henry's symptoms came on so fast and before I knew it, I had waited too long to get him help. His first illness fell on a weekend too. Doesn't it always seem that kids get sick on weekends?

I slept with him in the chair off and on during the night, trying to keep him elevated to help him breath. He also had a turn sleeping in his swing and car seat so that I could get a few hours of non-vertical shut-eye. I know it's a good thing he's so sleepy because our bodies do their best recovering and germ fighting while resting but it makes me scared too. How I wish I had a crystal ball to know if this will turn out to be a normal, run-of-the-mill cold or if my mom heart is going to be challenged another time.

I'll keep you posted.