The Polar Express

A few years ago, our family met Jen and her family at Disneyland for four days of splendiferous fun.  It was the first time I had been back since I was five years-old and the first time for Seth, Sam and Henry. It was the perfect trip, except for one thing: my kids knew the Disney story to only about 25% of the rides.

Maybe it was higher than that but probably not.  My sister was appalled at their lack of knowledge about most rides, characters and attractions.  They knew all about Toy Story Mania but were either fuzzy on the details about Tarzan, Bambi, Peter Pan, Fox and the Hound, Alice In Wonderland, the Haunted Mansion or were completely clueless.  And none could tell one princess from another.

It didn't really matter.  They loved the rides and the music and had a happy time at the happiest place on earth but I became aware of how different their childhood is from my own.  I loved watching Disney movies growing up, but I am not one of those adults who continues to love watching Disney movies.  Really, the reason is that they watch sports.  That's what they know.

It felt like our week at Disneyland all over again when I decided to have our family participate in some Christmas magic.  Again, they are sorely deprived of most Christmas magic fiction. Henry is a total believer but I believe most of his knowledge about Santa and elves comes from school traditions.  Seth and Sam constantly wink at me when discussing stockings and nice and naughty lists.  Regardless of our magic less home, I got tickets to ride The Polar Express a few days before Christmas.  We finally got snow and it was cold and we have a train in the middle of our downtown.  No excuse, really, for not doing it sooner.

Of course, none of my kids knew the story.  Henry had gone to a birthday party a week earlier whose mom had the movie playing in the background in case some kids didn't want to participate in the games so he had a rough idea of a train and hot chocolate being served.   This time, it was Maureen who was appalled.  She basically is Peter Pan and loves Disney and magic and fun.  The Polar Express is in my library of Christmas books so we read it before our big ride but, basically, the whole night was an introduction to the story.

It was fun.  I think I may have had the most fun of all thanks to Jay having Daniel the entire night.   Henry was thrilled to wear his pajamas.  I had to force Seth and Sam to change out of shorts and wear something pajama-ish.  We waited for the train to arrive in the freezing cold and when the coal powered train arrived in its plume of smoke, I think I squealed.

The ride itself was a little bit boring. Not to me but I know Henry struggled.  The train didn't depart until 8:30 pm so he was already tired and the mug of hot chocolate kept him happy for about five minutes.  The chocolate chip cookie may have given him another 5 more but he wasn't paying attention to the story being played over the speakers in the car.  When we arrived at the North Pole, we waved at Santa and Mrs. Claus from our train car and then sang Christmas carols on the way home.  I sat with Seth so my job was easy.  He speaks Sarcastic as his primary language so the magic wasn't really there but he kept assuring me it was in his best mocking twelve year-old voice.  Jay had Sam and Daniel and from my vantage point, was struggling a little but mostly doing well.  Maureen had Henry and he totally perked up with the singing.  He loves to sing!  But, the magic came alive when Santa walked in the car. Henry was mesmerized.  How much fun is it to have a child who believes in Santa with his whole heart?  OK, if I really think about it, I feel troubled but really, I just enjoy his awe.

When Santa asked Seth what he wanted for Christmas, he looked right at me and said he wanted the KD5 basketball shoes because he "really believed" and I just smiled back.  I'm not sure what the other boys said as I was too far away but I tried to capture their faces with my camera phone.  Night picture taking is so hard for me!

I'm not sure if the entire evening would have been better had their childhoods been immersed with The Polar Express but I think them discovering the story on the train was pretty fun.  I know I loved it.  And, just like those Disneyland stories they never knew they didn't know....now they know about ringing bells too.

 The coal to power the train.  It was really cold this night.  I think only 3 degrees.

And it only took an hour, there and back!  Magic!

 So excited he can hardly stand it!

Getting warmth from knitted goods and facial hair ;-)

My DSLR started acting up and would not focus.  Not even with the flash.  I put it away and started using my camera phone.  Boo.

 Always ready for some Christmas fun!

Here it comes!
 It was this boy's critical year.  He had stopped believing!

Our yummy (but lukewarm) hot chocolate.

 Seriously...he's texting.  Luckily, I didn't even have to be the bad guy and say, "Put your phone away."  The chefs came by and said there was no reception at the North Pole.  I'm pretty sure he was letting his friends know about how lame his parents were for making him go on the Polar Express.  I reminded him that this was his critical year!

The frost on the window pane.  I had to get my debit card out to scrape it off.

 Santa on his sleigh at the North Pole.

But, now he's on our very own train car!

 Daniel is curious....

But, ultimately totally freaked out by this scary looking guy.  You can't really see his face but he is screaming.  Still, Henry looks awfully cute here.

Sam

 I think they elves were a little tired that night.  One muttered as Santa walked back and stopped for a picture, "Santa is definitely not camera shy."  I chuckled because I don't think she/he/it meant for anyone to hear.

Our chefs delivering our commemorative mugs and songbooks.

 Daniel doesn't mind checking him out now that he is gone.

Seth says, "I hear it ringing!  I believe!"

 A couple of reindeer on break, I guess.

Our family.  We believe!  (Especially Henry).

No More Baby

It's official.  Daniel, you are one and walking and eating and trying to talk and tantruming and the baby that was once you is pretty much gone.  You're still in diapers (the thought of maybe only having one more year of diapers is exciting and probably extremely unlikely if you're anything like your brothers) and still get a bottle or two a day but you can drink from a sippy cup, though it's not your favorite design. Really, you prefer when you can get a hold of a water bottle or, even better, a real cup that can dump water on your entire chest!

The other night, while I was feeding you a bottle and rocking you before bed, the poem about cobwebs and babies not keeping popped into my head.  You were exceptionally drowsy this evening and your eyelids had already started their pre-sleep flutter and you had stopped sticking your index finger in between my lips and strumming the bottom one like a string on a guitar.   Every so often, I feel overwhelming nostalgia for the present moment of your littleness.  I consider it a tender mercy as I guiltily admit feeling a bit of glee and relief with every tool of independence you discover.  I want so much to enjoy every day of you and hope I've done my best.  I suppose what I'm trying to say is it feels weird to simultaneously want to stop time while feeling excited about your constant parade of new tricks.

It almost feels dishonest writing this one-year letter to you two weeks late.  Two weeks ago, you were walking but with that Frankenstein stance.  Now, you not only walk everywhere you need to go but you've figured out how to crawl your way onto the living room furniture, open doors using the door handle, use sign language to let me know when you want milk and climb into the dishwasher if the door is open.  Two weeks ago, you had a mouthful of front teeth but now, you have a molar! By tomorrow, you may have two!  You can seriously eat steak.  From milk to meat....just like that!

You are busy.  You are charming.  You are one!

As far as the actual birthday went, you had no idea the day was special until after we got home from piano lessons.  We picked up a balloon from City Market and it quickly deflated.  An hour after these pictures were taken, it was flat on the floor.  Cheap!  Next time, we're going to Albertsons!  Still, you loved it and I think having something shiny and floating in your direct line of sight was extra fun for you.

Later, when we were getting ready for presents and cake, we found you causing a bit of trouble with your brother's basketball.  You really, really like bouncing that ball.  And, I know you've seen them shoot it into a round hole and everyone getting really excited about it.  Not this hole, buddy.  Sorry.

Sam got you a popcorn popper with his own money and you love it, although you preferred to get it to make the popping sound by sitting down and rolling it back and forth on the floor.  Since your birthday, your six year-old older brother has shown you how fast that pop can really go.  Really, really fast.  So fast a certain six year-old has been banned from pushing the popper.

Aunt Patty and Delanie came over and gave you some sweet new books to read.  Two weeks ago, you could have cared less.  But, how quickly things change.  Now, sitting on a lap and pointing to things can hold your attention for at least 3 minutes.  Improvement!

Mom thought it would be fun to get a push wagon for my new little walker.  You could have cared less until a few weeks ago.  Now, your brothers put you inside the wagon and push you WAY too fast around the house.  Amazing how quickly a perfectly safe looking toy can be used for dangerous activities when you've got older brothers to show you the way.

I made a gluten-free cake for the celiacs and bought a cake-boss cake for you.  You really didn't care for it.  You didn't touch it much with your hand and when I put a slice on the tray of your high chair, you whined until I got you a fork.  Not safe but....well...that's just how we roll around here.



For the grandparents.  He unwraps this present for forever but the singing of the birthday song is right after.  I am really not that good at editing videos and I don't know how I meshed them together.

Henry had to help you blow out the candle.

Sam made sure you knew what to do with the cake.

We thought about assembling the wagon that night but our assembler was talking to his parents at the table so we were satisfied with the task of putting the square blocks in and out of the box.

We got that push wagon set up and you like to take the blocks out and put them back in.  And, boy, are you ever cute in this picture!!

We had your one year well-child check up and you weigh 24 lbs 2 oz (66%), were 31.3 inches tall (86%) and measured 48.2 cm around your big brain (91%.  Look at the size of that noggin!)  For extra fun, they kept us in that small exam room for an hour waiting for the three immunizations you needed.  I had lots of fun keeping you out of their cupboards full of needles and medical devices and garbage cans full of who knows what.

No?

What's that?  (Nice try, buddy)

Still no?

Welcome to the non-zero club, Daniel.  I'm so looking forward to your life!

Love,

Mom

Sixteen

When Daniel decided to trump our anniversary with his birth last December 19th, I honestly wondered if we'd ever really celebrate our anniversary again. Oh, I figured we'd do things here and there and call them anniversary activities but fifteen previous Decembers had taught me that anniversaries often seem underwhelming in a month already overfull of Christmas activities. Now that the baby of our family needed some non-holiday attention and festivity, commemorating our mid-semester marriage seemed even more unlikely.

My pessimistic attitude was completely unnecessary this year. Jay arranged with his mother to come and take care of Daniel and thanks to some desperately needed snow in our area, we took off the morning of the 18th for a day of skiing and a night of soaking in some nearby natural hot springs. Even though the weather was truly frightful and the snow was less than ideal for a safe skier like me (I'm not much of a powder fan and with 12 new inches of snow, that's pretty much all there was), we still had a ball together.

The child-free day with my husband doing something we both enjoy, followed by a lovely dinner and post-meal soak in 105-110 degree hot springs were reason enough to declare our sixteenth anniversary a success. I'm appreciative of the quality time (a love language that is creeping up my priority list) and the help from my mother-in-law. The beautiful black and white diamond bracelet gift that was just too small for my big-boned wrists to keep goes down as the most extravagant and "wow" anniversary present Jay has ever thought to give.

What I wish to always remember about our sixteenth anniversary, however, is how we put away our various distractions, focused on each other, and how wholly in love I felt with my husband. This seems so cheesy to write but, after sixteen years, that feeling of utter contentment brought tears to my eyes. I am so full of flaws and I'm so, so aware of them. Sometimes, that awareness can make me feel unlovable. So, diamond bracelet or no, ski trip or no, even my favorite past time of hot water soaking or no, I know that my husband loves me, in spite of me, and I'm grateful. Marriage is a dynamic union and I've learned over the years that sometimes, things are easy and great and sometimes...things aren't. What a gift to have that kind of quality time with someone I'm bound to forever and know that even after sixteen years, there are still moments of marital perfection. That gives me great hope for our future.



The wintry drive to Wolf Creek Ski area.



Us on the chairlift.  Yes, Jay has a mustache.



Our lovely fancy dinner.  Jay had a rib-eye steak and I had lamb chops with a sweet fruit chutney.  Yes, Jay has a mustache.


This is a stock photo as I dared not bring my phone with us around all the water but there are over 20 different thermal pools to soak in.  We stayed for over 2 hours until we were heated through and through.  We went to bed happy and smelling of sulfur.  Quelle romantique!