One Of These Things Is Not Like The Others

What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you think of a Dodge V-8 truck, 500 pounds of sheet rock, scraps of wood, an old bathtub, a toilet and lots and lots of garbage?

Why....two moms, and four kids enjoying a spring day, of course.

No? We thought something was off too when we talked to both of our husbands on the phone and one was at the zoo and the other was about to go to a winery in Napa Valley for a $138 dollar dinner (that water bill tab sure adds up fast!) while we were waiting in line with about 30 other large, manly vehicles to dump our day's worth of work off.

The dump closes at 4:30 and we pulled up to the scale at 4:18. The scene was quite hopping and we wondered if any of these other trucks in the cue line also had three car seats in them.

Probably not.

In any case, it's major therapy to throw a burgundy bathtub and matching toilet off the back of a truck along with five years worth of junk (well....not quite. We also made a dump run yesterday though not nearly as massive) and drive away, garbage free, in less than ten minutes.

Although, next time...I think I'll sign up for the fancy dinner.

Jen getting the tarp off our load of crap (and that's not being vulgar).

Seth took this picture while inside the truck. It makes me laugh to see my expression when I'm using my manly strength!)

All done and swept out. Buh-bye to the burgundy!

Thanks Jen! No one gets it done quite like you!

If you chance to meet a frown....

I've been singing this to myself all day. I really want to get out of this bad mood. I think mostly I'm tired. Two nights ago, I took two tablets of Benedryl, a unisom and some Tylenol hoping to just conk out and sleep away my itch. The exact opposite happened. I felt like I had restless leg syndrome and if I wasn't twitching my toes or changing positions every minute, I'd feel all weird and tingly. It was a completely sleepless night. Not even an hour.

May cause drowsiness. Unfortunately....not in my case. I think Benedryl has the opposite effect on me. It can cause hyper activity in a small percentage of the population and.... yay for me.... I seem to be one of them. When the Benedryl finally went through my system, I felt really tired and fell asleep after getting Seth off to school and Henry down for a morning nap and slept until 12:30. Slightly more refreshed, I trudged and scratched through day two of being the big red blob. My rash looks better but feels just as itchy. Jay had to work late so the kids and I had gluten laden Wendy's for dinner.

I took a Unisom at 8:00 pm hoping to fall asleep early. Jay put in Pirates of the Caribbean which he hadn't seen but I had and all I wanted was to fall asleep on the couch during the movie and then drowsily mosey to bed when it was over. But when the movie was over at 10:30 and I still hadn't fallen asleep, the panic over having another night of insomnia set in. I tried counting backwards (my usual surefire method for falling asleep fast) but as soon as I would forget to count and think about something, I'd realize I wasn't counting and wake back up! I did drift off in the wee hours of the morning and drifted in and out but felt completely unsatisfied and not at all rested.

So, it's been hard to smile today. I have nothing specific to gripe about. I have been the recipient of a tremendous amount of help and friendship. I realize it and feel thankful. Really. I feel like a jerk even writing this. But I haven't been a bundle of positive vibes myself and haven't felt up to commenting on many blogs. Sorry. I'm trying.

Just No End To All Our Fun

It's been a long week for Jay. He's had to take care of me, the boys, the house and himself. In the middle of all of this are all of his mock boards to prepare him for his oral boards in June. He's had them at lunches almost every day last week and most days this week. They are intense and he likes to be able to study in the morning before them but hasn't been able to due to me. He's been rushing in, right at noon, to do his best cold turkey.

Yesterday, he received the worst news. The biopsy from his endoscopy showed some some sprew and the pathologist diagnosed it as possible celiac disease. He went and got his blood panel done to see if he had the antibodies against gluten and found out yesterday that he does. So, we are starting a whole new, gluten-free lifestyle.

I went to bed last night itchy. My incisions really itched but I knew I couldn't scratch them. I sort of scratched around them though. The night was horrible. I felt really sweaty but really cold and so unbelievably itchy. I scratched my chest, my back, my upper stomach, my neck and then would just feel cold and perturbed. At around 7:30, I finally hauled myself out of bed so that I could get the kids ready for school (Jay had gotten them breakfast and was about ready to leave) when I saw myself in the mirror. I have a major rash. Major. It's everywhere but my lower arms, hands, lower legs and feet. I feel O.K....other than the obvious itch. I have no idea what's going on, what I'm allergic to and why it would show up a week later if it was the antibiotics or pain pills I've been taking. I took a bunch of Benedryl, some Tylenol, a Xantac and am drinking lots of water. I'm going in to see the doctor at 3:00.

In the meantime, Jay has to totally rearrange his schedule to get Sam to preschool, Henry to his Dr. appointment, then drop Henry off at my visiting teacher's house so that he can get to the hospital by noon to take his interventional mock boards during lunch conference. Rebecca is, once again, picking Sammy up from preschool and I'm tired of needing help. Jay has to be exasperated by all of this. I feel like such a dead weight and I'm overly emotional today.

I can't scratch anything! I feel like I need a straitjacket! I'm going insane.

Just use your imagination to picture this ALL over my torso and back. I'm on fire.

Refinnej

Isn't she lovely at 17?

I like to do posts about my family on their birthdays but was caught in the hospital on Jen's (the 8th of March) and am several days late. But I hope I'm not a dollar short:)

Jen is my closest sibling, age-wise. She is seventeen months older than I am and we were only one year apart in school. That led to some pretty intense sibling rivalry growing up. In fact, I would say it wasn't until Jen left for college that we let the feuds die and realized how good of friends we were. Since then....we're thick as thieves.

I can remember some fights that were real doozies (but only one resulted in a black eye!). She, being organized and a good caretaker of her things, and I being somewhat sloppy and irresponsible, would have me sign contracts to borrow her clothes. They had to be returned in a timely order, hung up, without stains or I would incur a fine. Always thinking ahead...that's my Jen. I don't know how she put up with me, really.

We had to share a room for a large portion of our lives and she liked to have her penguin collection, her pencil collection, her eraser collection, her donald duck collection, and all of her priceless treasures just so. They were immaculate and perfect. I envied her. It was she who inspired my attempt at picking a raccoon for my favorite animal. She had this penguin thing going and it was her thing. Admittedly, she got a lot of penguin things for her birthday but I was jealous that she knew who she was right away. She liked Navy. She wore lots and lots of navy. And she always had the best clothes. Which led to the contracts I had to sign.

Here are some of my favorite things about one of my favorite people in the world.

• She's super smart. Her valedictorian speech at high school graduation started with, "Longfellow once said...." I can't remember the rest.
• She's a loyal friend. There are few truer ones out there.
• She's organized and willing to help me out in that area.
• She's not afraid to call a spade a spade. If she thinks you're full of it....she'll probably tell you.
• She's the biggest U2 fan I know.
  
• She's a master at the X96 dance.
• She's a hard worker.
  
• She makes no apologizes for being a picky eater. She likes what she likes!
• She tries very hard to live a Christ-like life.
• She's always willing to go on a soda run.
• She's a great hostess.
• She's got the eye for great deals and is fun to shop with.
• She doesn't follow the crowd - never wanted to get her ears pierced and has never done it.
• She always makes me feel good about who I am...even though I'm different than her.
• She always makes an effort to be close. It really doesn't matter where I end up because I know Jen will come and visit!
• She has good advise. She got her masters in Marriage and Family Therapy and I trust her insight.

The pictures will tell some more stories. I realize most of them have me in them. That's because that's all I have. Jen, again...being organized and detail oriented....has her scrapbooks all done with all of the pictures of her. These - I found in one of my many shoeboxes.

An early Christmas. I love her smile!

Notice Jen's shirt......

....and again a few years later! I still get her hand me downs (when I'm lucky enough!)

Sharing a story with Dad at our Grandma's house in Utah.

I really remember this day. We wanted to get cute pictures of ourselves with props.

My mom usually made us "matching" dresses for Christmas and Easter.

Taunting me with my new sweetheart barbie.

Jen's low maintenance but she used to really like curl in her hair. Here's a temporary solution....

....and here's one of her more "perm"enant ones. She cried and cried.

Helping me out on my 15th birthday

One of the few pieces of clothing I remember her borrowing when we were both in high school...the white shorts!?!

Jen home for Christmas break during her freshman year of college.

The debut of "Little Drummer Boy". We've sung it together many times since.

A former devout Diet Coke drinker. She used to avoid restaurants if they didn't serve Diet Coke. But she's more versatile now.

Viva Mexico!

Jen visiting me the summer I live in Arizona with Diane.

Jen's apartment at the Glenwood. I loved being atcollege with three of my siblings!
(also...I think vests must have been in)

Jen and her roommate trying to cheer me up in my dumpy allred apartment.

Both of us home from college for Christmas break.

Jen celebrated my 21st birthday with me. Christopher was on his mission, and she was in grad school in Logan.

camping at Glacier with Jay and I (she was a great chaperon!)

Our glorious hike up to Grinnell Glacier

Horseback riding on Lythgoe's horses.

We were roommates for one semester at BYU and lived in a basement apartment on Cherry street. This is literally the only picture I have of that time. We hated that apartment.

married to our best friends. There is no better match for Jen than Christopher.

Jen truly loves my kids....and they love her.

She's my T-Tappin buddy! This is at our first workshop in Seattle with Lani.

Jen's house. Knowing her and Christopher, it'll just keep getting cuter and cuter. They are masters at the projects.

Isn't she adorable pregnant? Six months!


Happy (late) Birthday Jen! I love you!

Book Review #40 - Traveling Mercies

Can you tell what I've been doing? This is the selected book group book and I read it a bit unwillingly. I have about four more books on my nightstand that I would have chosen to read instead, but with book group tomorrow and me on the mend, I wanted to be able to participate.

Parts of this book I hated, parts of it I loved. It is written by Anne Lamott, a dread-lock sporting, liberal, single-mother, recovering drug addict Christian. I think if we were in the same room, she would hate me and I would drive her crazy. We have very little in common life-wise, belief-wise, socially-wise and morally-wise. She seems kind of loud and full of herself and one prone to drama. But in the privacy of her novel, she reveals herself as she is, warts and all, and I find that I like her. I really like her humor and her writing. She is laugh out loud funny at times and her ability to find meaning in the humdrum of her life and translate them into inspirational stories is a gift.


This book reminds me of a well-written blog. If you're into that kind of thing, check this book out.:)

Book Review #39 - Dragonfly In Amber

The second book in Diana Gabaldon's Outlander series, I enjoyed this book immensely. It's true...the series is addicting. At 743 pages, I finished wanting more and immediately reserved the next book at the library.

It doesn't have all of the Jaimie/Claire drama that the first one did. In fact, it almost felt like a "building up to" book. Not that it was boring. I learned a lot about the Scotland uprising and the tangled web between countries and royalty. It is good historical fiction. There is still the love/drama/intrigue novel that makes it fun to read but I can honestly say that I learned about a part of history that I know very little about in an interesting way.

I'm no longer a critic. I'm jumpin' on the fan bandwagon.

Book Review #38 - Whose Names Are Unknown

Written at the same time of Grapes of Wrath about the same subject matter, Sanora Babb's book did not get published until a few years ago. The supposed reason was that humanity just couldn't handle another sad story about the sorry luck of the Midwest farmers during the dust bowl and depression of the 30s.

I learned many things that I didn't know that much about the depression. Very similar to the earlier Homestead Act, the government gave buffalo grazing land in the midwest, 320 acres, to anyone who would live on it, build a house on it and farm it. The drought-like conditions and its wind, in addition to all of the plowing, produced the life-sucking dust that ruined most of the area's farmers. I had always thought it was a freaky natural disaster and hadn't considered the man-made contribution. The loss of opportunity, loss of land, loss of trade, loss of collateral produced the desperate "okies" that migrated west looking for work. Another black mark on our own country's history, these "okies" were segregated out of the schools, the community and forced to work for pennies a day.

The most frustrating thing to me while I read this is that these people had no other options. They had to farm or do manual labor. Yes, the were oppressed. They were treated unfairly during a horrible time. Yet,some of these unlucky farmers could see the bigger picture. With that big picture in mind, they forced their children to go to school (where they were treated horribly for being dirty - because they had no place to get clean) so that they would have better options than they themselves had. Their children, however, recognized the struggle of their parents...how much their labor helped secure food and money and hated going to schools where they were despised and mocked.

You'd think this was all lose/lose, but the author showed how in the midst of all these struggles, that common decency, hope, love, genuine kindness still existed. It's hard to believe that this happened in our own country less than a hundred years ago.

If you can't tackle Grapes of Wrath (even if you can and have) this is worth your time.

If absolutely nothing happens during your day....

do you still blog? I've been taking it VERY easy. Just staying in bed and reading and sleeping (with the occasional bathroom trip). But I'm totally improving. Now, instead of feeling like I did 2000 sit ups, I feel like I did about 200. Jay is home for one more day and then it's showtime! Yikes.

Um....apparently....I do still blog!:)

The Appendectomy

I looked at the clock and it was just after 3:00 in the morning. My stomach felt like there were sharp needles stabbing me through my intestines. I got up and tried to go to the bathroom without success. The pain was annoying enough that I couldn't fall back asleep. I shifted positions several times and every time I moved, I felt the pain gravitate. At 5:00 Henry woke up crying. I'm never quite sure what happens when the twins put him to bed so got up to check that he still had a diaper on or something. You never know with them. He was fine but hungry so I gave him a bottle. My stomach was killing me but I could walk. I tried to go to the bathroom again but still couldn't. I got back in bed and sort of moaned for an hour. Finally, at around 6:00, I woke Jay up and told him that I was sick and that I needed him to take care of the kids. He asked me all sorts of questions, pushed where it hurt and told me to wait for an hour to see if the pain went away or got worse.

All three of the boys had woken up around 6:30 and Jay got up with them. By 6:45, I was crying and told Jay something was really wrong. I could no longer move without great pain. He started getting the boys ready and we brainstormed as to what to do with our kids. He called KariAnn at 7:00 and asked if we could bring Seth and Sammy over. I thought Andrea could take Henry but we couldn't get a hold of her. Everyone was ready by 7:45 but I was stuck in bed. The thought crossed my mind that an ambulance ride would be easier. I just couldn't see how I could get out of bed, walk upstairs and get in the van. I sat up and felt faint and lightheaded. Jay sprinted upstairs to get me a bowl and made it just in time. When I was done throwing up, Jay helped me up and we took all the kids to KariAnn's. We still hadn't been able to get a hold of Andrea so they took Henry too and told us they'd arrange it with them. As we drove away from KariAnn's house, I told Jay that leaving my three kids with a woman who just had a new baby three weeks ago was so unbelievably wrong. Thankfully, KariAnn is like WonderWoman and deep down, I knew she could handle it.

The drive was excruciating. The roads here are notoriously bad. Potholes and cracks everywhere. Every bump was like a punch on the side. Jay got me a wheelchair and pushed me into the ER. I only had to wait for about 10 minutes and if I held very still, the pain was manageable. When the triage nurse was getting my info, I threw up again. They took me to a room and transferred me to a stretcher. I hadn't had anything to drink since dinner the night before and I was very dehydrated. They could not find a vein to draw blood from. First the nurse tried. She managed to get an IV in but couldn't get blood. Next came some guy who looked at both of my hands and arms and kept saying how tiny my veins were. Aww....shucks. But tiny veins is no compliment. Tiny veins hurt. First he tried my arm. Nothing. Both hands...twice. Nothing. He said they have a "two times and their out" policy with poking people and called IV therapy to come. She tried for probably 30 minutes but couldn't find any blood either so ended up doing a finger stick and scraping it for 10 minutes to fill three small tubes of blood.

One of the sites where they tried to draw blood.

There was a mental patient next door that was keeping every one entertained. ERs are interesting places. She kept going on and on about getting water and food and then shouted out that she needed to call her dentist. Finally the police took her away.

They wheeled me to radiology for a CT and Jay was in his element. He hadn't told anybody yet that he worked there which surprised me. We saw another resident in the hallway and I'm sure I looked precious with my bird's nest hair, pale face and grimace. Jay knew all the techs and told them to take good care of me. They were all very nice. The CT didn't take very long and Jay told me as they were wheeling me back to ER that it was appendicitis. I was relieved.

One of the annoying things about being married to a doctor is the pressure to actually be sick when you feel like crud. I would have hated to cause such a scene only to be told that I had gas or something. So...phew with the nasty appendix.

We had to wait for the surgeon to get done with a surgery but I had morphine going on now and didn't feel quite so miserable. Everyone was so nice. The nurses and transport people. I was cold so they put warm blankets on me and tucked me in so I wasn't exposing flesh. I really felt like I was receiving good care.

The surgeon came and I immediately didn't like him. He had a horrible bedside manner. He just had this smug, bored look and when he asked me to describe my pain, I felt like I was auditioning for surgery. I told him how it started but that now, it was very localized to my right side and he commented that "that's straight from a textbook".

Jay came with me to pre-op and I had to run through the whole rigmarole again. All of the questions...history.....etc. I bet I had to say my weight in front of Jay about 20 times. The first time was embarrassing enough but didn't they write it down anywhere?

I gave consent to everyone, the nurses, the anesthesiologist, and finally the surgeon (who came about 45 minutes later). They wheeled me into the OR and I saw all of the lights and the room. The doctor put a mask on my face and told me it was oxygen and that's it. Lights out.

I vaguely remember waking up and scratching my nose only to have my hands batted away. I think I was indecent too. I remember my back and shoulder being exposed and wanting to be covered but I couldn't talk.

The next thing I remember is being in my room and having to go to the bathroom. It took me probably 10 minutes to work up the courage to get out of bed and as I walked, I saw another bed! I wasn't alone! I felt depressed. I did not want to share a room.

Jay came soon after with the kids and it was hard. Henry was screeching and when I held him, all he wanted to do was push the buttons on the bed. Sammy kept hitting himself in the head for reasons still unknown to me. Seth ignored me and acted bored. They did give me cute cards though. Jay was scanner sitting that night which meant he would still be in the hospital but over in a different wing with the boys. He just has to be there in case anything happens with the patients getting contrast (which I guess is a risk but it never happens) so he fed them dinner and left.

I had an IV in and a PCA (with morphine) but it made me feel like I had to pee every hour. I was miserable. I asked if they could take it out and if I could just drink water but they worried it would make me nauseated to have anything in my stomach. I only felt pain when I moved and I only moved when I had to go to the bathroom which I only had to do because I had the IV which I only needed because I had the PCA which I only used when I went to the bathroom. Oh well.

Jay brought me flowers when he came to say goodnight after scanner sitting and the gift shop delivered some flowers from Jen and Christopher. Andrea and Rebecca came to see me and brought me flowers too.

Pretty flowers from Rebecca and Andrea and Jen and Christopher

Jay got me a sturdy plant

I tried to go to bed around 10:00 but it's impossible in a hospital. The woman I was sharing a room with had had her uterus, ovaries, cervix all taken out and bladder reconstruction done. She was totally hurting and needed a lot of nurse attention. She also needed the TV to be on at all times, even when she was sleeping. All of the little worker bees never seemed to come in at the same time and it seemed there was a nurse/nursing assistant, phelbotomist/janitor in there the entire night. I know I never slept more than an hour straight. I had THE most annoying CNA in the middle of the night that I would describe but this is already too long and I could go on and on about her and her little white barrettes and her power trip.

It seemed once morning came around that I couldn't get a nurse's attention. My surgeon came and talked to me for all of three minutes. One of Jay's resident friend came to say hello. Nice...but awkward in my hospital gown and matted hair. I really wanted to be discharged by 11:00 and had to make a lot of noise for it to get done. I managed to get out of there by 11:20. Jay took Henry over to Rebecca's (who had picked Sammy up from preschool) and I crashed at home. Jay didn't get home until 3:30 (he had to go do mock boards at the hospital) and I was really hurting by then. I was surprised how much more I hurt at home than I had at the hospital.

Andrea brought dinner over and I stayed in bed until about 8:30. I got up hoping for a new Office or Grey's Anatomy but both were reruns so we watched the movie Invincible. I popped a couple of Lortabs before bed and slept until 5:00...took another one and slept until almost 10. I feel pretty good today. Sore but aware. I took my first shower in three days and feel clean and squeaky.

This was totally boring but I needed to document it. I'm so grateful for Jay for taking the time to take care of me and our kids. And, obviously, to my wonderful friends who haven't batted an eye when the burden was shifted to them. I'm amazed by all of the long-distance offerings of help. I know some really wonderful people.

Thank you all!

Flowers from my mother and father-in-law

I'm Home

I just got home from the hospital. Thanks for the calls, well wishes and flowers. I'll post more later but I'm tired. The hospital is an awful place to get rest!

Jay posted some info. Ne'er fret. I've got lots of funny tidbits in my head. I just need to lose the fog first.

Mirror Mirror Self Portrait Challenge

Painful on so many levels. I'm not a huge fan of mirrors because I don't feel inside what I look like outside. I'm like the anti-anorexic. When I see myself in a mirror or in picture (especially) I'm always shocked! Where is that athletic, young, well-maintained person I am in my head? I think back in 1996. Ouch.

I decided to join in on the challenges because I think this is what blogging is all about. Who we are, who we portray ourselves to be...and what the difference between the two actually is. I am showing me in different angles because I am different depending on the perspective. As a daughter, I am loyal, obedient and aim to please. As a sister, I am funny, ditsy, and open. As a wife, I am supportive, flexible, a partner and probably a little annoying. As a mom I am independent, educated, loving and a bit negligent. As a friend...some of each for different people. But I am more than what you see.

If no one is looking, what do I see? I see someone who wants the approval of others. I see someone capable of great things. I see a girl who could be happier. I see a girl with blessings beyond measure. Someone not rising to her potential. Someone the Lord can depend on.

I see someone who I like. A Lot.

But she can bug the crap out of me.

Merciless Monday

Today hasn't turned out the way I'd intended. Sammy woke up sick. I think he may have the flu. He's had a fever all day with the chills and aches. He fell asleep spontaneously on the couch and has only eaten a milkshake (that was one of my favorite "sick" foods growing up). Poor kid.

This NEVER happens.

Watching Arthur

I called the painters this morning because I hadn't heard from them since our initial consult. He never did come back with a written bid which isn't a great sign. When he called me back, he apologized and said he had gone out of town. Whatever. He came with the two painters (who looked like legitimate painters in their white jeans with paint all over them) and they all spoke Russian to each other. You know that feeling you get when you're getting a pedicure with your friend, and the two ladies giving you both your pedicures start talking to each other? I'm always sure they are talking about how gross my cracked heels are. I was sure these guys were talking about my somehow inferior bathroom. I just stood there waiting for a translation. (Um...Shelah...about your offer....) The business man (one who came last Friday) assured me they weren't saying anything bad. But it makes me so nervous not to know what is being said. I kept going over the things he told me he would do on Friday. Are they going to get the paint for the bathroom? And they know they need to paint the ceiling too? And retexture the wall? And paint the railing? Somehow, I am sure some of it will be lost in translation.

The bad news is that there is some leak in my bathtub causing moisture in the wall which is the source of the damage. It's obviously not a huge leak as it's taken five years for the drywall to crumble but they took off the cover to the tub and felt wetness underneath. I have to decide if I want them to fix the walls and leave the next owners to deal with this small leak or find a plumber to fix it. Jay left his cell phone at home today so I haven't been able to talk to him about it but I'm thinking we'll need to fix the leak. I don't think a home inspector would miss that. Ugh. It's always something.

The infamous burgundy and brass bathroom.

My bedroom that I painted a while back. Never posted a picture so here it is!

They also couldn't do it today. Of course. So they are coming tomorrow which might be pointless if I can't get this leak fixed. Derzic gave me the written bid which was $100 more than he verbally told me. He changed it to $550 when I called him on it and acted like he did so many bids that he just couldn't remember what he told me. Hmmmmm.

I am also starting a yelling fast. Honestly, I don't think I yell any more than the average mom. But Seth is such a sensitive soul and he calls me out on any inconsistency. He knows when I yell that I'm breaking the rules. Yesterday, he went to mormon.org and sent a bunch of ecards. I got one. Here it is.

So, no more yelling for me. I'm going to be the Gandhi of yelling. That is just not a memory I want my kids to have of me. And I don't yell at anyone else...ever. I don't know why I've let myself think it's o.k. with them. It's a habit I'm going to break.

Book Review #37 - Letters

You know the wife of President Hinckley must have been an amazing woman. This book is a compilation of letters she wrote that were saved by her children, sisters, friends and grandchildren and was published after she died in 2004. Her own words show her to be funny, strong, supportive, compassionate, a hard worker and true believer. In addition, her and President Hinckley's history is told with wonderful bluntness. The busyness of business, the jet lag, toll on family and marriage that come from being an apostle and prophet all glare at the reader. But so does the unwavering faith and joy that each of them found in spreading the gospel. There is a letter written by President Hinckley at the end of the book, that brought tears to my eyes. This is a wonderful and inspiring read.

Book Review #36 - For Whom The Bell Tolls

I cannot remember why I checked this book out. I saw it on something and like to throw in a classic every once in a while. The only Hemingway I've ever read is The Old Man and the Sea in high school. One of my great regrets is not taking any great literature classes in college. Writing papers scared me to death! But, I think some books need the classroom setting to explore and explain why they are so great. This is one of those books.

For Whom the Bell Tolls is a book about the Spanish Civil War. Robert Jordan, an American, is over in Spain fighting with the International Brigades in behalf of the anti-fascists or Republicans. His mission is to blow up a bridge and seeks the aid of a small guerrilla group hiding in the mountains led by a drunken, broken man named Pablo. The book takes place over a four day span and much of the book centers around the theme of death. What is bravery or cowardice? What is a man's life worth in comparison to a great cause?

I had read a little about Hemingway's prose. The most common descriptions are "terse" and "understated". His sentences tend to be shorter and more direct without losing any vividness. They are just more direct. This was no easy read for me. All of the dialogue was written in old English as a direct translation from Spanish. Lots and lots of "thee"s "thou"s and "thy"s. Sometimes, I felt like I was reading the scriptures but without the uplifting part of it:) Whenever the characters were mad at each other or at the situation, a popular phrase used was "I obscenity in the milk of...." which is probably a vulgar profanity but since I don't know what it means, I plead pure ignorance. The dialogue was hard to read. It got easier but this took me days to get into.

Hard or not, I think it's a worthwhile novel. Hemingway took his title from a poem written by John Donne:


"No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were. Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee."

This was Robert Jordan's enlightenment. This was his awakening.

Blond Ambition

Kristin inspired me to return to moody Armand. What she didn't warn me about was that now he was an aspiring actor!

Jay and I have been watching Season 1 of the HBO show "Extras" with Ricky Gervais, creator of The Office in Britain and the actor that played the boss in that version. It's pretty funny. Can be crude. The premise of the first season is that he is constantly cast as an extra on shows with famous actors hoping that eventually their luck will rub off on him.

I totally felt like I was in that TV show listening to Armand talking about getting his big break. But after ten minutes I just didn't have anything else to say. Is it rude to just be quiet the whole time?

Luckily, an aspiring actress was in the booth next to us an they talked the entire time about head shots and this casting director that was going to be their "golden door" in Hollywood.

Good luck, Armand.

Here's my new blond hair. I told him to do anything he wanted. Funny, he cut it pretty much just like I would have asked him to do which was what I was trying to avoid (so I didn't have my high school hair!). But, I like it anyway.

Of course, when your son takes your picture there isn't a 100% guarantee it'll all get in the shot!

Going Towards The Light

It is no secret that we are moving soon. It seems to come up frequently in my posts. It is also no secret that we have been doing work on the house and that the work has been going slow. It is unfortunate that we are doing it now because I think of any of the five years we have been here, Jay is the busiest this year. The first couple of years, he had time to work on and improve his woodworking hobby and build us a number of items. Now that we actually need his skills for real work, there is just not time for him to do it.

I made a list last week of everything I can think of that needs to be done before the move.

Gak!

It's rather lengthy. Most of the list are things I need to do. Declutter closets etc. But several are big jobs. Jobs that take days. There are more than 31 things on the list which means that I have to finish more than one job per day to be ready by April, which is my goal.

After our last debacle in hiring out jobs (read here, here, here , here, and here - it was an awful week) we've been doing everything solo. But solo is slow. I've long since wanted to call in some troops to finish the stuff that I cannot do and that Jay is too busy to do. Whenever I bring it up to Jay, he feels guilty and assures me that he will get it done. End of discussion. The one thing he agreed to was a phone call about it some drywall repair that we need done in our bathroom. Conveniently enough, a valupak mailer came this week with a coupon for a painter/drywall repair guy. I left a message and the guy called me back last night. The caller ID showed a name that you don't see every day. The voice confirmed it. I seem to have stumbled upon another Russian/Ukrainian worker.

I was more prepared this time, however, for the unusual business practice of our former foes. Jay and I decided that the job was not bigger than $200 and that was my topped out number. I was willing to show him cash a la Dave Ramsey style.

He arrived an hour ago and I showed him the bathroom first. It also needs repainted so I asked him if he'd included that in his bid. He didn't say much and I was worried that he was going to tell me that the walls needed to be knocked down and replaced but instead he just said, "it is a small job."

I replied, "Too small?"

He shook his head and said, "No...it is a job."

My intention is not to exploit but I did recognize that tone of desperation in his voice and that a paying job was for his benefit as well as mine.

I walked him upstairs to look at the wall in our living room. THE wall. The wall that has been burning my eyes for nine months now. It can't just be repainted. It needs either to be retexturized or covered. We had decided to go with the covering until I thought of asking this guy if he thought he could fix it and paint it so that it looked uniform. He didn't say anything for a long time. I kept talking. This is what we want to do. We have the moulding already. We need another coat of paint on this stair railing, we need some touch up work over on this wall.

Still nothing from him.

All my kids are sick with Strep throat so Seth is home from school today and chose that moment to crawl on my lap. So, I am sitting there while he is staring at the wall. I ask him if he needs a tape measure or something. No, he says. More silence. But I can tell what is happening. Game on.

He looks at me and tells me that women always get a better deal than men because they always say they don't have very much money. I smile and reply that in our case, Jay could do it all, but it is a time thing. But we aren't desperate (O.K...I am. But I lied) and if we can't afford it, we'll just do it ourselves. He told me that normally, he'd say $950. But, because we are getting ready to move and need it done fast that he would do it for $550 if I paid in cash. (Does that seem backwards to anyone else but me?)

I pin him down on what exactly he would do for $550. This was when we got in trouble last time. He included the bathroom - fixing the wall and painting the room and ceiling. The living room - retexturing the wall, painting it, putting up the moulding, painting it AND painting the stair rail.

Considering Jay and I were willing to pay $200 for fixing the bathroom wall alone, my stomach was doing leaps of joy but I simply said that I needed to call my husband. He got his shoes on and I thought of a couple more questions.

"Does that include tax?" I asked.

"550 - cash. Total. But it has to be cash" he replied.

Uh-huh.

Me: And when can you do this?

Russian: I could have a couple of guys here on Monday.

Me: Really? A one day job?

Russian: As long as you keep the heat on in your house.

Um....O.K. I'll do that. ( !?! )

I called Jay and told him the story. He laughed but agreed that it was a good deal. I called him back and told him that I wanted a written agreement but that we wanted to forge ahead. He's coming back later this afternoon with the contract.

It's not like I set out to find another shady deal. I've tried it three ways now: a reference from a friend, craigslist and now valupak mailers. I don't know what else to do. I don't know how else to hire someone.

I'm like a moth to the flame.