What We're Up To

My throat really hurts.  For the past week, it has been hurting but only at night.  Anywhere between 4-6 pm, one tonsil (but never both) would seem to get bigger and bigger, making swallowing and talking really painful.  Ibuprofen would help and since it never really bothered me during the day, I didn't really care. It seemed like a pretty benign cold.

Then, last night, the huge lump on one side of my throat actually woke me up at 3 am it was so painful. I took some more Advil and some Nyquil for good measure and could. not. wake. up this morning. I did wake up just enough to get Sam and Henry down to the bus and probably dangerously drove Seth to school but then I went back to bed and slept until 10:30 this morning.  I had the strangest dreams I had in a long, long time.  I was out in public wearing my winter nightgown (long sleeved, mid calf) but also had on a pair of mid-calf garment bottoms on that the nightgown couldn't cover and I kept trying to get into a sitting position where I could curl my legs up so no one could tell.  It was so stressful!  Especially when a dog kept crawling onto my lap.  I think I was in a nursing home of some sort because older people kept coming up to me wanting to pet the dog.  That is what a 3 am Nyquil dose will do to your subconscious brain!  And my throat still hurts today. I am so desperate I may even attempt at gargling salt water. This has not gone well in the past.

Besides my throat pain, it's been a good week. A bit stressful, which has me stressed. You see, February was my month to host bookclub and it is always on the fourth Thursday of the month...so...it was last night. The way our bookclub does it is whoever is hosting chooses the book and then puts on dinner for everyone. As our group currently has 14 members, it can be overwhelming if everyone decides to come.  Lucky for me, only 5 decided to come so it was a very doable dinner for 6. I don't know when I turned into a person who gets anxious having people over but I definitely do now. All week long, I was dreading Thursday night and mentally couldn't wait for it to all be over. I have done some reflecting and think it boils down to a few things. One, I am simply out of practice. Having people over must follow Newton's first law of motion: an object at rest will stay at rest unless an external force acts upon it. The external force was five ladies coming over to discuss (maybe. You never know how much the book will actually get discussed) Beautiful Ruins and their imminent arrival led to me finally putting some pictures in frames, getting a few new serving bowls so I didn't have to have pots on the table, and coving my very worn table top with a tablecloth.  It also involved lots of food shopping, cleaning and then cleaning up. The evening went fine and I think everyone had a nice time but the forced object in motion is craving its usual rest again. But, I know it'd be better if I stay in motion and become more social again.

Jay has had some A.I. (Artifical Insemination) success already.  This is a big week for him as the heifers he impregnated by insemination are due to deliver if his technique and fancy bull sperm worked (that sentence needs to be taken in context or else it seems very weird). Out of the ten he attempted, three have delivered.  Unfortunately, all three have been heifers (he is trying to breed club steers for the boys). All ten got pregnant but if they don't deliver this week, then they got pregnant from his dad's bull a month later.  Every day, he is this funny mix of excited and worried and is over checking on the cows all the time as two of the baby heifers born this week had to be pulled because they were too big.  I'm a thousand percent certain that he wasn't quite as worked up any of the four times I delivered our children.

Seth competed in History Day this week and made a documentary on Jesse Owens success at the 1936 Nazi Olympics as a turning point of attitude towards blacks and competitive sports and did so well that he and his partner qualified to go on to the state competition. He is quite pleased although I don't think he has the kind of competitive spirit or natural fascination with history to spend the time making the kind of improvements he needs to make to make his project really good and coherent.  I was relieved when on of the judges echoed my own advice and said having "Teenage Dream" by Katy Perry play during slides of Owens racing wasn't really appropriate. His story telling and research are definitely the reasons the judges ok'd them to state and not his annotated bibliography that includes the name, "Dogg, Snoop" on it (he must have produced the Katy Perry song).



Presenting the documentary to the three judges, including the superintendent of our school district.



Seth and Jack with their award.

Sam is on track for getting eye surgery in 12 days. He is still wearing the prism stickers on his glasses and his eyes still look crossed but at his last appointment, the ophthalmologist felt assured that she had all the information she needed to get the best alignment for his eyes. That meant no more missing Tuesdays to drive to Grand Junction and back and not missing basketball practice.  Unfortunately, a nasty fall after a ski jump sidelined him this week after he severely bruised both heels. He wouldn't put any weight on them all week and walked on his tip toes. The tipping point to normal walking came when his calf muscles became more sore than his heals. He is healing nicely and will hopefully be walking and seeing straight soon.



Eyes are a little straighter with this prism stickers.  His doctor said that his eyes "eat prisms" which means that he adjusts quickly but will adjust even more than they need to, which skews the data.

Henry came home with a very bad report from his teacher the week before our winter break. I'd blame it on me being gone, as he has had those kinds of reports from teachers in the past when I am gone and his routine is off, but it was the week of Valentine's and so probably had nothing to do with my absence. I don't know what set him off but when his speech teacher, reading teacher and 1st grade teacher all report that he is surly, uncooperative, talks back and says everything is "boring" and "he already knows everything" then mom and dad don't let it slide. He also had a bad report from his ski teacher two weeks ago and screamed the entire ride home that he "hated skiing" "skiing is stupid" and "I never want to ski again!" only to be perfectly fine this last week.  It's all about his mood and I don't know what sets him off.  Mood or not, he can't be disrespectful like that and he's been cut off from all electronics this week and his bedtime moved from 8:30 to 7 pm to ensure a well rested psyche. He really is a charmer but he can also be quite difficult if he's unmotivated or tired and it is sort of embarrassing when he shows this side of him to his teachers. He's had a good week so far.  I'm hoping he doesn't get the winter blues because this seems to happen almost every year at this point of the school calendar.




His teacher sent this picture to me. I guess he can be happy some of the time.  He's in the blue coat.

Daniel is at a super fun stage. He's still not talking or saying any words, including mama or dada, and while I don't think that's a red flag, having gone through Henry's speech delay discovery has me a bit wary. He does mimic intonation and you can tell he's trying to say, "Where's Daniel?" and "Peek-a-boo!"by the way his voice rises and falls. He's super expressive and loves to give a funny glare or pout with his eyebrows down and furrowed only to raise them up and smile when his internal comedic timer dings.  He loves his stuffed elephant and it has become his comfort object at night. I don't know if I just sleep through his wakeful periods at night at home or he quietly self soothes but whenever we travel, he  does not sleep well. We spent the February 8th-14th up in Denver and he didn't sleep through the night once. It makes this girl who likes to travel not like travel quite as much. Sleep or no sleep, I'll keep him because he is so darn cute.



Fun little mess maker. Good thing the tablecloth from bookclub dinner was still on the table this morning!

Where's Joseph When I Need Him?

I've read more than once that the state of pregnancy can induce vivid dreams. So true. Most nights, I have very detailed, borderline bizarre dreams that make me laugh, shudder or seek reassurance from various loved ones the day after. Here's what last night brought:

Sidenote: As I lay in bed this morning, each dream segment was so startlingly detailed that I decided to blog about them. Now, as I type, a fuzziness creeps along the edges, rubbing out certain parts.

#1. While in some kind of auditorium, cultural hall (it kept shifting back and forth between something with a low-ish ceiling and a gym), I was frantically searching my quilted church bag for the music the YW were supposed to sing. The room as packed with expectant parents and friends. So packed. Like Broadway show packed. I could not find the right music. I had all of this other music and as I'd pull it out, I'd know immediately it wasn't the right song and I couldn't even substitute because the sheetmusic would be incomplete with many of the middle pages missing. It was our turn to sing and everyone was waiting and I'm throwing things out of my bag, knowing people were turning around in their seats to watch me, and I'm purposely keeping my eyes down to avoid seeing the annoyance and expectations in others faces.

Suddenly, my friend and former counselor, Michelle, was at the piano announcing a different number. I felt panicked because Michelle doesn't play the piano (she does play the cello and ukulele, however. So cool!) and all at once, the girls were doing a choreographed showtune (not at all churchy, which stressed me out) that involved clapping and dancing on a set of risers. There were all sorts of girls I didn't recognize on the risers with them and I felt this huge mixture of relief that they were singing something and shame that I had failed them.

Possible interpretation: I am stressed that i can no longer rely on Michelle's awesome adaptability and knack for handling the YW on short notice. Also, I need to clean out my church bag.

#2. Also a church dream but much more disturbing. I was playing the organ as prelude and the meeting isn't starting on time. People are getting more and more loud in their conversation and, all of a sudden, this girl who is dressed somewhere between being a goth and a throw-back 80's punk rock gal (like she had on this humongous pearl cross necklace in blood red) came on the stand and was shouting and laughing and hugging all of her friends. My reverent playing didn't seem to matter and so I left the organ and sat on a metal folding chair in front of it and said to a girl with a frizzy perm, "Everyone is being too loud. We should be embarrassed I(I think it may have been a Stake Conference setting). The girl stood up, pushed me and told me to mind my own business. We started to brawl. Brawl! There was a hallway behind the seats on the stand and we were pushing each other down it and I told her to stay out. I won the brawl but not decidedly and I came back to play the organ and give the loud blond girl wearing the bright red cross the stink eye. Suddenly, I came to a hymn in the hymnbook I had never seen or heard but it was the perfect message. When I started to play it, the sound dropped to an immediate hush and there were several people crying it was so beautiful. I think I cried too.

Possible interpretation: The YW in the stake have been asked to sing a song at stake conference. I have no idea why this could or would be stressful to me, since it isn't at all, but maybe my subconscious realizes something I don't and is stressed about how the song will go (see dream #1). As far as the brawling goes, I would never, ever even tell someone to be quiet, much less physically fight them about it. I believe the perms and crosses have to do with some prejudices of mine.

#3. I am in eighth grade. I know this because I am in Mr. Barker's classroom only the room is facing a different direction than it actually did. I am waiting in my desk for the bell to ring but at the same time, am sticking my head out the door to see if Henry is coming. He is. He's running down the hall, trying not to be late (Mr. Barker was mean) and I'm hurrying him along in my head. He's bigger but still wearing the outfit he wore to last night's actual football game, a Thomas the Tank Engine t-shirt and blue zip-up hoodie. Only....bigger. He makes it in time, sits down one row over and one seat up and just as I'm about to relax, he starts brushing his teeth with a loud Sonicare toothbrush. My heart races at the noise and mess and Jay starts to rub my neck from behind me, telling me to calm down. I feel calmer. I love his touch and reassurance and can feel myself loving him deeply, even though we are only eighth graders. Then, many of those in the class start to brush their teeth and I realize it's all o.k. We just got back from lunch.

Possible interpretation: I worry about my kids hygiene habits and their new teachers since school just started. Another thought, Henry's personality stresses me out even though his mischief and marching to the beat of his own drum will turn out fine. Also, I desperately need Jay.

That's the best I can do without bidding Joseph to come and interpret these dreams for me. I'm looking for more prophetic meaning, like famine or plenty, but mostly think I should double check my church bag for the right music before Sunday. And, should you be thinking about it, don't go out and get a perm. I might beat you up.

Exposing My Subconscious

I was afraid to get out of my chair.

The beautiful hostess was interviewing a famous fitness celebrity whose face is a blur, but then she surprised me when she announced that Brandi would be giving the latest update about T-Tapp.

Brandi, who was wearing a purple leotard with a black belt and who also happened to have very big hair, talked about the new T-Tapp DVD and suddenly, Brandi was interviewing me via WebCam urging me to share my success story about perkier pecks. I was paralyzed with fear.

So, I sat there, in my chair, chin down, head out, afraid to stand up.

Thankfully, my stalling frustrated the interview and Brandi turned it over to Body By Jake.

I understand every part of my dream except who the fictional Brandi was.