Finding Me-time...I Guess

It's been way too busy around here. I absolutely hate it when days start at 6 am and don't really end until 10 pm - even if some of the stuff keeping me up late is fun. I still start to wear down if I don't get recharge time. A lot of these should have been posts of their own but that is not happening. This weary wave has swamped me but besides all of the regular mom hubabaloo, a few activities took me out of my mom zone and really made me stretch outside of my norm. 

• I have started attending a committee at my kids elementary school named SAC - School Advisory Committee. Essentially, it's the principle and a representative from the school district, a member of the community who doesn't and hasn't had a child enrolled in this school and a bunch of parent members. The principle called me a few months ago to ask me to join this committee and a mixture of guilt from not volunteering these past two school years and genuine concern about what the curriculum, safety and staffing issues are at our school led to my saying, "yes." At our last meeting, the superintendent also attended because of a critical decision to be made about staffing and the budget. The first grade (Henry's grade) currently is divided into two classes with class sizes of 13 and 14. I probably don't have to say that it's been a dream come true for their teachers. They already know of one first grader moving away during the summer and the question at what number of students does the class recombine into one was given to us. As I mentioned earlier, I haven't been in the classrooms these past two years so I don't know this class all that well but many of the parents in attendance said it was a particularly challenging class behavior wise and thought it best if they stay split into two small classes. Obviously, it'd be great if every teacher and child could be in a class of 13 students but I had a feeling the superintendent was there because we don't live in la-la land and actual compromises need to be made. When I asked what the "but" was, like was it two classes but no music or two classes but no art, neither the principle or superintendent gave much away but I don't think there's a school in the US that has budget money to burn. So, I spoke up. Just as a parent on the committee. I said that 26 still seemed like a big number of second graders, especially if there are multiple behavior issues but something happens when that number dips below 25. It seems silly that there is a difference in my brain between 27 and 24 but class sizes of 12, when other schools in this very town have class sizes of 29, seems indulgent. When I said that number "24" the principle wrote it down, circled it, and then the superintendent reviewed that 24 seemed to be the number we would consider combining the class.  It all kind of happened fast and I wanted someone else to speak up but no one else did so...there you have it. One mom was definitely shooting me daggers and she's probably been on the committee for years and some no-show nobody comes and starts opening her big mouth but, for real, if I am going to be at a meeting at 7:30 and have my mother-in-law watch Daniel for me in order to go, I'm going to give my opinion! 

• I went to my book club last Thursday night and was dreading it because, once again, I didn't like the book that was chosen. OK. You know me. I like to talk about books. I am not going to say, "I liked it," or, "I didn't like it," and be done. No, no, no, no, no, no. But, it seems for the past few months in a row, I haven't liked the book and have made it know why not. When it was clear that I was not going to have an overall positive experience reading this month's choice, The Age of Miracles, I considered not going. I did go but felt determined to avoid giving my opinion unless asked and then, maybe, only a shoulder shrug and a, "It was ok," keeping me somewhat honest. What a relief when the person who picked the book declared at the very onset of dinner, "I hated this book!" That got the juices flowing and pretty much everyone admitted that they disliked it. I didn't even have to say anything. Even so, I clearly have a reputation because the hostess announced, "When I realized it was an awful book, I thought, Oh great, what is Lucy going to say about this one?" I may need to tone down my book club opinions. Sheepish grin. 

• I went to a Bach festival concert with a relatively new friend. I'm always surprised when someone calls me up and invites me to something. I don't know this woman very well but I like her and we kind of musically bonded at Christmas time when I helped her put on a combined ward Christmas program. When she asked me if I wanted to attend the Goldberg Variations concert, I said sure, but didn't really plan on it until she called again the night before making sure we were still going. I made arrangements to meet her there fully expecting a big group to be there because why would she single me out? Turns out, she did single me out and I had a wonderful time listening to the guest lecturer explain the history of the piece and its remarkable points, listening to a fabulous organ performance and then sipping some hot cocoa afterward at a local coffee shop. It was all very enjoyable and I'm glad I have a new friend!

• I put on a ward fireside about my trip to Israel on the Tuesday night before Easter. Even though I blogged extensively about it, I felt like I had to start from scratch because I wanted the focus to be on Christ and so I spent quite a bit of time organizing pictures in chronological order of Christ's life and making sure I had all my facts straight. Patty and Karen graciously provided refreshments a la Holy Land (hummus, fresh dipping veggies, oranges, pita bread and dates). In attendance were Patty and Vaughn, Karen and Vaughn, two other couples, my good friend, Michelle and her daughter, my niece, Delanie, and a single sister. I felt bad that what could have been done easily and more comfortably at my house, especially considering almost half in attendance were family members, was in a relief society room instead. I struggled to filter all the information in my head and make it spiritual and relevant and definitely veered off focus at times.  I also went a half hour longer than I planned. My take away is that I'm not much of the fireside giving sort. 

• I must have serious non-volunteer guilt because I offered my services to the middle school PTO when they needed someone to go to the grocery store and pick up food for the teacher's lounge during parent/teacher conferences. I always get all the emails because I must have signed it on some piece of paper at the beginning of Seth's sixth grade year but I have never done anything for this organization nor have I ever attended a single meeting. Some faulty wiring in my brain made me shoot off a reply on my iphone, "I can!"before I really thought things through and my rash eagerness meant I got to shop at Walmart on a Thursday at noontime which might just be the absolute worst time to grocery shop. I suppose Black Friday or the day before Thanksgiving might be worse but I am smart enough to stay away during those notorious times. I have no idea what caused such a backlog of carts at the check-out that day but it took a full 30 minutes of standing in line before I even got my stuff on the conveyer belt. Then, when everything was wrung up and in the bags and in my cart, I gave the checker the middle school credit card and Tax ID card and she said, "Oh, I needed this before I rang anything up. I'll have to re check everything." Before my polite self could regain composure, I lamented loudly, "I hate shopping here!!!!" The checker looked a little started but not apologetic as she slowly started taking things out of the bags and rechecking everything. Painful, painful and painful and a good reminder that I am not in a volunteering season of life. And I am already in Walmart too much as it is. 

• I played the organ as part of a musical duet on Easter Sunday. Even though it is not really my responsibility at all, as ward choir director who did not have a choir number prepared I promised a special musical number to the ward music chair. By the time I actually got around to doing something, only one week remained to prepare and not many people are comfortable with that sort of timeline when performing music. That left me doing something but people are sick of me so I asked a really talented woman in the ward who plays viola if she could come up with something Easter-y. She called me the next day with an idea of a He Is Risen/Christ the Lord is Risen Today mashup for viola and organ. That meant that the ward was not going to get a Lucy-free musical number but it didn't feel fair to make someone else learn an organ part in five days. We met at the church a few times and I realized that this little something she came up with was something she had just written. Like on Monday. Not only had she just written it, but she kept changing it and fixing parts that didn't work so by the time we rehearsed on Friday, it was pretty amazing. I was figuring out the organ stops and how to switch between memory sets quickly because there were no free hands during one transition. That meant...duh,duh,duh...I had to use my foot! I know, I know...organists are supposed to know how to use their feet but I don't. My brain freaks out if I even try. I would love to learn how to play the organ properly but, for now, the bass coupler is my best organ friend. Still, with the right stops, it sounded really cool. The first part had only the bell stop pulled and it sounded like those church bells that play when Maria marries Captain Von Trapp. It was a really fun musical number to play. 

• I would never classify myself as hard-to-please but my past hair care history would beg to differ. I am perpetually unhappy with whomever I pay to do my hair. Every once in a while, I will find someone I really like who also happens to make my hair look nice but it usually seems like it's one or the other. Or someone moves. Or I move. Whatever happens, I seem to constantly be on the prowl for a new hair person. I tried someone new today. It was a total blind date. I found a place online that seemed reputable and essentially booked an appointment with the first stylist who could get me in. It didn't go so well for me. I suppose the hair looks ok but she. took. for. ever! I'm sorry, but a mama with a one year old doesn't have time for slow highlights. This lady really seemed fresh out of beauty school because she could never manage to get the right amount of hair for the foil the first time. Which meant, by the time I was done, I had gone almost an hour longer than I told my mother-in-law, who had Daniel and a sick Seth, and Sam and Henry were home alone for much longer than the 15 minutes I promised they'd have to wing it when they got off the bus. Let's just say that I am still on the prowl. Sigh. 

• I finally called my former trainer to get some help remembering how to do something other than drive in my van and shop at Walmart:) I'm nervous. And it was hard to make that call. 

Well...that's about it. We just got back from another night out, this time having dinner at the church to support the Young Women fundraiser. Last year at this time, as Young Women's President,  I was pretty much in charge of this event and it was so nice to go, load up my plate with a navajo taco, sit, visit and eat.  And then...I got to leave! 

Tomorrow, I'm packing up for my in-law's 50th wedding celebration up in Utah with all of Jay's family and then leaving on Friday. Then...spring break. Then, Seth's birthday. And, in a blink, it's going to be the middle of April. Crazy. 

Life is certainly not slowing down. Being available for my boys and making their lives happen takes up the vast majority of my time but I wanted to spend a few minutes writing to remind myself that it isn't all about them. I have had opportunities these past few weeks to take off my mom sneakers and step into some less comfortable but a little more bedazzled Lucy shoes and I'm glad both shoes fit.