What I Miss

You know what I miss most since being pregnant?   Having any kind of energy.

In a lot of ways, this pregnancy feels nearly identical to my others.  My gag reflex is exactly has it has been in the past:  highly sensitive so although nausea can definitely make me throw up, so can coughing, sneezing or burping.  I crave horrible food that makes me fat.  I feel depressed and cry at the drop of a hat.  I murmur.  A lot.

But, one sensation that seems extra heightened this time 'round is my extreme fatigue.  I don't know if it is my 35 years compared to my 24, 27 and 30 years in comparison, but I am tired all the time.  Bone tired.

Most days, I can get away with it.  My world has been very sympathetic to my expanding womb plight.  My young women didn't bat an eye when I came unprepared last Sunday to teach my lesson (a big chunk of the problem was because I had planned to show a movie I had ready on my laptop...which I forgot at home) and ended up holding up my cell phone at the front of the room so they could watch it start and stop intermittently as it buffered slowly on the Verizon network.   Embarrassing, for sure, but I even got a hug from one of my laurels afterward telling me it was a fine lesson.  My sister came down for a long weekend and patiently did my laundry, cooked my children's meals and repeatedly cleaned my kitchen while I sat moaning on the sofa.  My husband is a saint and always asks me how I'm feeling when he walks through the door instead of looking around at all of the piles of things I didn't get done.

My mother's brother died this week from pancreatic cancer and I'm leaving tomorrow morning for his funeral up in Utah.  As much as the past month has tried to convince me otherwise, some things, such as getting ready for a trip, can't be sloughed off.  The tire pressure sensor all aglow on my dashboard needed some attention (nail - slow leak - all fixed).  Milk, as well as a few other staples, needed to be purchased.  Child care needed to be arranged and the big Young Women's Camp Fundraiser, which is being held next Wednesday, needed to be organized enough to be delegated.  I also tried to sneak in a cut and color today because I have looked hideous for a month and am tired of braiding my hair.  When you add my unrelenting need to eat at least once an hour, it makes for a busy and very tiring day.

It doesn't sound like a lot, but my whole body is screaming for sleep right now.  Why don't I indulge and take a quick nap, you ask?  Because there is still stuff to do, it is almost dinner time and I want to go to bed early tonight so I can wake up as early as I need to and not fall asleep during my seven hour drive tomorrow.

I could really use some energy.  Just a small amount.  Nothing Herculean required.  Just the amount needed to get up out of this IKEA chair, walk down the hall and switch  my clothes from the washer to the dryer.  Perhaps if I just close my eyes for just a minute....