Winter Repeat

I woke up early this morning and found myself emotionally exhausted with winter.  I am tired of the dark and the cold and the wet and the white.  I have thoroughly enjoyed all the skiing we have been able to do, and know that the skiing still yet to come will help keep me going through the next month.  But, if I could choose, I would do a genie head bob and have it be about seventy-two degrees and all the snow gone.

Still, that feeling comes with guilt.  Because I do love winter and I want desperately to love each month for itself. I want to love March even though there is little to love.  April gets a slow start, but I'm usually satisfied by its end.  As I sat here on the couch, wishing for May,  I remembered feeling this exact way a few years back.  My memory was confirmed as I found this old post.  Just look at the date!  It seems February 17/18th might be when I reach my winter threshold.

Rather than re-writing those sentiments, I'll just paste a copy of that past post here.  It could have been written this morning.

February 17, 2008

Dear Winter,

I've always defended you against your opponents. Always said you were something I couldn't live without. With you, a cup of hot chocolate tastes sweeter. With you, a movie date on the couch with a down throw is much more romantic. With you, the mountains become playgrounds and you give the cold credibility.

But lately, you've been hovering. You're always around...always, and I can't get anything done. I wake up and there's no reason to get going. There's no where to go - no where to be. Your constant presence has started to suck the life out of me and I'm not fun or motivated anymore.

At first, you were so good with my kids. They got to build a snowman and go sledding and you even helped build a cool fort. But my boys are still little and you aren't the easiest playmate. In fact, you don't help me at all. If I try to make them to play with you, it creates that much more work for me. So, they ignore you and stay inside and make more messes and more noise. You really only make my day harder.

Please don't panic. I don't think you're horrible and still recognize the many positive qualities you possess. But I'm tired of my car being dirty and and I'm tired of wet socks and I'm really, really tired of my frizzy hair, my pale skin and sweaters that need a special cycle on the wash.

Please leave. I'm begging you. I cried three times yesterday and I think it's your fault. We need a break.

I'm not saying I want you gone forever. I know I still love you...deep down. But I think some time apart will give me the perspective I need if we are going to make this relationship last the rest of our lives.

I think we should take about nine or ten months and see how we feel about each other then? I really think we need to do this. For our future. For my sanity.

Remember, I'm asking for this because I care about you. The last thing in the world I want to have happen is for me to end up hating you. I just need a little....change.

Still yours,

Lucy