Somebody called me fat yesterday.
At least, I think somebody called me fat yesterday.
I keep trying to reconstruct the sentence into any other possibility, because...well...I just might have heard wrong. I'd like to think so, anyways.
Here's what happened according to my not always reliable memory:
A group of us were at a restaurant after watching New Moon at the theater. Due to the size of the group, we were split into several tables and one of the women sitting at my table was someone I did not know. We spent the evening enjoying some comfortable banter, mixing the conversation with jokes and the more serious topic of home decorating. At one point, one of my friends joked that her secret mission was to have Person X become best friends with Person Y. She followed her happy declaration by telling the woman I had just met sitting next to me something like, "I'll let you know you your best friend should be too." She replied, I think, "I need a fat friend." And then she pointed at me.
I think.
But, maybe she said flat friend.
Or....cat friend.
But, then she said it again. And followed it with, "Someone who will make lots of desserts." Accompanied with another finger stab in my direction. Mind you, she said this while eating a dressing-less/crouton-less salad.
Or maybe not.
It happened fast and definitely wasn't the kind of scene where a pin drop could be heard. Honestly, no one reacted. No one looked uncomfortable on my behalf and the woman didn't act like she had said something rude or embarrassing.
So, maybe she didn't say it.
She could have said a black friend. But I'm not sure what that has to do with desserts.
Craft friend? Some people craft with food, don't they?
Vat friend? Referring, possibly, to someone who has a job at the local chocolate factory? All legitimate possibilities that aren't explained with the accompanying pointing towards me as I'm neither crafty nor do I have access to chocolate vat.
I suppose I could solve the mystery by inviting her over for cake, but, I don't bake. My fatness comes from a complex mixture of hormones, bad genes, pregnancy weight, years of bad habits and eating desserts I did not make.
So...she got that wrong.
Or not.
Maybe she said phat friend.
That's probably it.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Rhyme Thyme
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20 comments:
OK, I am sitting here laughing at your hilarious possible explanations - flat, cat, vat. You crack me up! I just don't understand people sometimes. Either you heard something WAY different from what she said, or everyone in the room lost their minds for a second, because if I'd been there and heard the same thing I'd be shooting the woman some pretty bad looks. My guess is that you guys aren't going to be best friends anytime soon?
Mmm, now I'm wishing for a vat of chocolate....
I wanna say, that just can't be right, can it? But how could you have gotten it wrong? The pointing? What??? I'm uncomfortable and I wasn't sitting there so how could everyone else have not reacted?
Can I comment on something else instead? I like your 20 classics list with the books read crossed out. So satisfying to cross things off a list. (I'm pretty sure from goodreads you are done #11, and I'm wondering what you are reading now. Yes, maybe I'll travel over to good reads and see you there.)
I definitely think she meant phat. Because YOU, my friend, are phat. Cool. Hip. Awesome. And amazing!!!
Maybe this is what happened. Maybe she just said something stupid accidentally. Like: I had this dress I wore when I was pregnant with Haley. Then i put it away until I was pregnant with Jake. One day, I showed up at church wearing my dress, and the bishop's wife was wearing the same dress. She said something like "yours is in better condition than mine" and I couldn't explain that that was because I only wore it when I was pregnant, because no one besides Kendell knew I was pregnant. So I said "well that's because I don't wear mine all the time." Then I went into the bathroom and considered suicide as a viable option to relieve my mortification. Yes, i did suggest to the bishop's wife---a very kind, sweet, good woman---that she should stop wearing that same *#@& dress to church. At least, that is how I know it came across, but it is NOT NOT NOT what I meant.
Then we both stopped wearing the dress.
So...maybe if she did say such a horrid and stupid thing, it was out of sheer accident.
Or maybe she is just a stupid woman and you don't want to be her friend anyway!!!
ps, one of my goals this week is to visit the P.O. I have your book all ready to go. I just haven't managed to stop at the post office!
I am totally cracking up. Not at the "fat" part but just because I can here you analyzing this whole entire conversation out loud. It reminds me of the deep questions and thoughts you, Doug, Jon, Steve and Dan used to have.
As far as rhyming I most certainly think she meant Phat, because you my friend are one of the greatest!
Well, you certainly have a way of looking at an extremely uncomfortable situation in a very humorous way. I definitely chuckled out loud but at the same time, I'm so sorry. I just have to think you heard it wrong. No one would really make a comment like that, would they?
I have no idea what she said, all I know is you made a great post of it. And I'm so glad you're my "that" friend, that I can point to. (In fact, last night I was watching an old BYU concert and there is a girl that looks just like you in the chorus. I told Calvin and Ande, "Hey! There's Lucy! She sings. I'm sure 'that' is her. I'm going to write and ask her." And when they said, "Where?" I pointed straight at you. Do tell, was it you?
Thanks for your friendship, dessets or no.
The reason it is a mystery is because the accused is actually a very nice woman. It's hard to think that was what she actually said. So, yes, I'm still uncertain. I just can't think of other possibility. Except for the ones I've already written about, obviously:)
Amy, I think she had that moment. That unguarded moment when you put your foot in your mouth. I hope, for her sake, that she never realizes what she said (if she said it) because I'm sure she would feel horrible. A lot worse than me who honestly just thinks it's kind of funny. And I don't think I'm someone who can emotionally laugh off being called fat by many, but, in this situation, it wasn't intended to be harmful. So...phat it is:)
Jane! If you were watching Hymns of Thanksgiving then you witnessed my famous moment. "That" is me! A much skinnier and younger me (I was a freshman in college) but if I was wearing a fetching purple dress with a crazy white zigzag appliqued mess on my left shoulder and had my hair in a twist, then you saw me:) How fun. I loved that whole concert.
Barb, I've been thinking about putting up my "current read" so that's a good idea. I do love the crossing out. It is so satisfying.
No, no, no, she clearly said "FAB" friend, and could tell at a glance that you would fit the bill.
So sorry Lucy! I don't know why Women have to be so rude to each other!!!!!!
You can be my friend anytime!
Surely she said Fab Friend!!
I've heard something similar ~ A mom from Jackson's preschool said I should go to a spin class with her at the YMCA so she wouldn't be the only big girl there! I stressed about it a bit, felt offended and even avoided her a little. I just needed to remind myself that there is so much more to me than my current size (which I am working on)! I guess I should actually thank her for giving me a little kick in the pants, I've since started exercising a little bit more!
I knew it! I knew it! But the dress had faded, it definitely looked blue on the tv.
How fun. I'm certain she said that friend and pointed to you just like I did :)
Just assume you heard wrong. Crazy lady!
I love how it is just assumed that you would bake her desserts.
I don't think I have anything original to say that hasn't already been said. You do want to think she just had that rushing heat of horror strike her inside, while she hopes she did not say what she thinks she said. But, my, oh my, you do have a great way of telling a story.
But, I also wanted to say that while I am terribly terribly behind on my blog commenting, and may just need to clear out my google reader and start over, I had noticed that it had been a while since you had posted. An 11 day drought, and I missed you!
Definitely PH!
My instant reaction was that she probably said 'that' friend. What woman calls another fat to her face whilst eating dessert after a vampire movie?
The whole post is so well thought out and a conversation that so many of us have probably had in our own heads one time or another.
If anyone is still checking these comments, know that I have confirmation that she did, indeed, say, "fat friend." It's still funny, though. Who says things like that?????
Lucy, who honestly says stuff like that. I'm on a clomid rage today so of course this makes me super bummed.
Lucy...you are such a great writer. You ought to have your own column in a newspaper....
My jaw is on the floor...WHO IS THIS PERSON??? On a lighter note, it made for an really interesting, funny post, you are a great writer!
For the love of Pete - I'm sorry I'm missing commenting on your blog - because this really sets me on fire.
I wish I could say I would come up with something snappy like, "Yeah I wish I had a rude friend like you that I can write a sassy blog post about." But that day will never come.
But I will say - jeez, I'm at a loss. Know that you are fabulous, both inside and OUT! And you only deserve wicked cool people in your life, not wicked ones.
That said, thankfully I don't know her from Adam, and if she truely is as nice as you say, then I hope she feels really bad about it.
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