My Bucket Overfloweth

I should have written this last week, when I felt the words in my fingers. The feelings behind the post hasn't changed, but, let's just say if I had written last week, when I should have, there would have been a lot more exclamation points. Like this!

Instead, what you will read is a sincere, honest and heartfelt testimony that was re-gifted to me after Women's Conference last week and General Conference this week. Still worthwhile, right?

I'm not going to lie, I've been going through a mid-life transition of late and it hasn't been one I'm super excited about. I feel like whining almost all the time. It isn't pretty! (there's one! Oh..there's two...) If you're familiar with the phrase "the bucket and the dipper" it will make perfect sense when I say my bucket has been perilously close to empty. Habit, dedication and memories of former spiritual experiences kept me crawling forward, but my knees were getting weary (It's getting crowded with analogies. I'll just keep it to the bucket).

Already in a good mood from the preceding pot-luck and mingling with friends, I was all smiles as Women's Conference got underway. What the choir's music lacked in beauty, it made up for in feeling. They sang with zest! Then the talks started. Sister Beck's was administrative by necessity and there was no chance at my pride getting in the way like it did for her much discussed "Women Who Know" talk a few years ago. Sister Allred's talk was sweet but when Sister Thompson spoke, my whole being responded. Her talk was called, "Mind the Gap" and it described my situation exactly.

Her talk aside, what really happened is that I felt the spirit. And I mean, I felt it. Sitting there, in the darkened room, I started to cry because I knew I was where I was supposed to be listening to what I needed to hear. I felt like shouting, "Ladies, the church is true!" This church which teaches us Christ's restored gospel, is hard, inconvenient and often times comes attached to annoying people and things, but it's true! Sitting there, I was so grateful for the powerful way the Spirit was supplementing my testimony. Sister Thompson was followed by President Erying and at one point, while talking about Relief Society's legacy, he said, "They gave when they had nothing to give." It was what a woman with an empty bucket needed to hear. Reminders that others have done it and done it when it was a lot harder to do. Imagine more tears. But happy ones. Happy, happy ones.

That night, my spiritual bucket was refilled to brimming. It's made this mid-life busy-ness, that I was so resenting, feel different...better. It made my whole week better.

General Conference was equally great today. All the talks were packed full of encouragement and instruction, but there is no denying the power of Elder Holland's testimony and defense of the Book of Mormon. Once again, my body and spirit responded to truth and I knew that he spoke with authority and was testifying of things as they really are.

It's true! There is so much beauty on the earth, and so much good in so many people and I just want to hug them all and say, "I love you!" And I want to say, "Here is truth." It is here for the taking and learning. I can't deny it nor do I want to.

I know I whine on this forum plenty, and spend enough energy highlighting the ridiculous and less than great. But, I rarely shout from the rooftops. It's sad that I'm more comfortable with sarcasm and venting, but I didn't want any record of mine to be lopsided towards a side I don't want to be on. This is my side. This is the side I want to be on.

From my bucket to yours:)