Big Sigh

I just got home from church. To adequately describe how light and free I feel now that my lesson is over is impossible. It's beyond words. Such a bizarre thing, to be so nervous... but I was. Like weird-dreams-about-catastrophic-things-happening-during-my-lesson nervous. The kind of dreams that stay with you and you're left tired from lack of restful sleep.

I mean...sheesh. I've long claimed that being a Relief Society teacher would be a dream calling. After today, I still think it would be but I was not thinking that last night.

Sam's birthday party was on Saturday, which kept competing with my lesson for my energy, thoughts and effort. Both went reasonably well. Sam's party was just fine for six year olds (which it would have been had everyone shown up and I gave them all a light saber and said, "Play!" but, no, I had to concoct five different games - none of which totally turned out the way they should have.

As I taught today, there were lots of comments, not nearly enough time to get through the massive amounts of information I had, but a good feeling at the end.

I taught on Agency. As I prepared, I wondered several times if I was preparing the right lesson or if I was merely giving the lesson I wanted to give. I love the ideas and principles of agency. I love how much more understanding there is about something so taken for granted when considered from a gospel perspective.

Here are some of my favorite quotes. Not all were read because there wasn't enough time.

• Teachings of David O. McKay: “There is a significant reference in the book of Revelation to a “war in Heaven” It is not only significant, but seemingly contradictory, for we think of heaven as a celestial abode of bliss, an impossible condition for war and contention to exist. The passage is significant because it implies a freedom of choice and of action in the spirit world. In the Pearl of Great Price we are given this account.“Wherefore, because that Satan rebelled against me, and sought to destroy the agency of man, which I the Lord God, had given him, and also, that I should give unto him mine own power, by the power of mine Only Begotten, I caused that he should be cast down.

• Teachings of Brigham Young: “Can the people understand that it is actually necessary for opposite principles to be placed before them, or this state of being would be no probation, and we should have no opportunity for exercising the agency given us? Can they understand that we cannot obtain eternal life unless we actually know and comprehend by our experience the principle of good and the principle of evil, the light and the darkness, truth, virtue and holiness and also vice, wickedness and corruption?”

• Boyd K. Packer: “During all of the taunting, the abuse, the scourging, and the final torture of crucifixion, the Lord remained silent and submissive. Except, that is, for one moment of intense drama which reveals the very essence of Christian doctrine (agency). That moment came during the trial. Pilate, now afraid, said to Jesus: “Speakest thou not unto me? Knowest thou not that I have power to crucify thee, and have power to release thee?” One can only imagine the quiet majesty when the Lord spoke, “Thou couldest have no power at all against me, except it were given thee from above.” What happened thereafter did not come because Pilate had power to impose it, but because the Lord had the will and agency to accept it. “I lay down my life,“the Lord said. “that I might take it again.No man taketh it from me, but I lay it down of myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again.”

• L. Lionel Kendrick of the Seventy: Laws are given as a standard by which we exercise our moral agency and by which we will be judged. At death, our first judgment will be based upon our obedience to laws given in mortality. And in our final judgment, we will inherit the kingdom whose laws we prepared ourselves to receive. We cannot enter the celestial kingdom unless we have lived the celestial law.

• Robert D. Hales: Although the devil laughs, his power is limited. Some may remember the old adage: “The devil made me do it.” Today, I want to convey, in absolutely certain terms, that the adversary cannot make us do anything. He does lie at our door, as the scriptures say, and he follows us each day. Every time we go out, every decision we make, we are either choosing to move in his direction or in the direction of our Savior. But the adversary must depart if we tell him to depart. He cannot influence us unless we allow him to do so, and he knows that! The only time he can affect our minds and bodies – our very spirits- is when we allow him to do so. In other words, we do not have to succumb to his enticements. We have been given agency.

• Teachings of David O. McKay: “With agency, there comes responsibility. If a man is to be regarded for righteousness and punished for evil, then common justice demands that he be given the power of independent action. Knowledge of good and evil is essential to man’s progress on earth. If he were coerced to do right at all times, or were helplessly enticed to commit sin, he would merit neither a blessing for the first nor punishment for the second.

• Teachings of the Prophet Brigham Young: “The Lord does not compel any person to embrace the Gospel, and I do not think he will compel them to live it after they have embraced it. I am not going to drive a man or a woman to heaven. A great many think that they will be able to flog people into heaven, but this can never be done, for the intelligence in us is as independent as the Gods. People are not to be driven and you can put into a gnat’s eye all the souls of the children of men that are driven into heaven by preaching hell-fire. Does it follow that a man is deprived of his rights, because he lists in his heart to do the will of God? Must a man swear to prove that he has an agency? I contend there is no necessity for that, nor for stealing nor for doing any wrong. I can manifest to the heavens and to the inhabitants of the earth that I am free-born, and have my liberty before God, angels and men, when I kneel down to pray, certainly as much as if I were to go out and swear. I have the right to call my family together at certain hours for prayer, and I believe that this course proves that I am a free agent, as much as if I were to steal, swear, lie and get drunk.” (Gotta love the way Brother Brigham puts things:))

• Howard W. Hunter reminds us that, “When the children of Israel returned from Egypt and stood on the threshold of the promised land, they faced the clear choice of what was before them. Of the future that was about to be theirs. The Lord said to them: (Deuteronomy 11: 26-28) “Behold, I set before you this day a blessing and a curse; A blessing if ye obey the commandments of the Lord your God, which I command you this day and a curse, if ye will not obey the commandments of the Lord your God." That is the choice the Lord puts before us as we face our own promised lands and our own bright futures. We are given the knowledge, the help, the enticement and the freedom to choose the path of eternal safety and salvation. The choice to do so is ours. By divine decree before this world was, the actual choice is, and always has been, our own.

I actually had a lot more than this but these quote were my favorite. We ended by singing the hymn, "Know this that Every Soul is Free" and then had testimonies from three women who all talked about choice. I'm glad I've had this experience. Maybe next time, I won't be as nervous so that I will be able to conduct a normal life while preparing.