I'm home but I'm not going to blog. I can't even describe what kind of mixed emotions that sentence brings up but after two weeks with little to no access to email or internet or blogging, I realized that I'm o.k. without it. The possibility for happiness is still there. This isn't my only outlet. In fact, it may be derailing some other opportunities. But to face the computer everyday and decide to blog or not isn't how I operate. So, I'm making the decision.
I hope I come back. I want to. At a minimum, I feel like I have unfinished business. There are eight book reviews burning in my head! And two trips! And my son's baptism coming up (my first as a parent - and that's a big deal!). So many, many reasons to blog.
But there is a nagging voice in my head that I shouldn't. I don't know where it's coming from. I worry it's coming from an important place and I've been ignoring it for some time. But, nothing bad has EVER happened. No strange comments. No weird hits. Nothing. But the voice...it still comes.
All I can compare it to is if I was a runner (and believe me...I most definitely am not) and felt impressed over and over again to stop. Do I? Is it to avoid a future knee injury? Or to prevent getting hit by a car by some negligent driver who decided to text message while turning on a red light? Or is it merely my own insecurities about how I look in those running shorts that split indecently up the side or my inner voice telling me I'm never going to win the Boston marathon so why bother running my three mile neighborhood route? I don't know. I don't know if I'll ever know. And, believe me, I've thought and thought about it. I mean...I really don't want to get hit by a car. I've seen those text-messaging-drivers and they are scary.
I wasn't sure what decision I'd make when I got back. I think either one will leave me curious and dissatisfied. If I continue to blog, I know I'll wonder if I should. If I don't, I'll wonder why I shouldn't. Perhaps time will give an answer.
I've thought about going private and I don't think that's the answer. Although, I admit to being tempted only to see who wanted to read (does that tempt anyone else?). I've also worried about writing this only to pop back on in two days and say, "Changed my mind!" Because...truthfully, I can actually imagine that happening.
I'll miss this part of me. I'll miss this part of many of you.
Until next time...
Monday, March 31, 2008
Hanging Up The Shorts
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39 comments:
I understand where you are coming from. When my husband was gone for 5 weeks and took our laptop I found I was almost relieved I didnt have the "pressure" to blog. Ever since he came back I have been blogging very minimally and thats okay with me. I still enjoy doing my occasional updates and seeing the comments and I still love reading others blogs.
If you decide to go private remember to include me:)
Oh, I'm so sorry! Your blog was one of my favorites, but I understand where your coming from. I've gone private several times, and have finally come to a happy middle ground where I protect the photos of my girls, but leave many neutral posts open to the world.
I hope you find your middle ground!
I've missed reading your blog these past few weeks, and I will continue to miss you, but I understand what you mean. So whatever you decide to do... I will accept it and go on...
nooooooo!
I seriously love your blog. I love reading your book reviews AND I love knowing that there's someone else in the world like me...who likes to write book reviews!!!
But, I also understand. So, I will miss your blog and I'll be hoping you change your mind!!!
Amy
It's up to you blog as little or as much as you want. You are such a great writer and I selfishly hope you continue... But you gotta do what you gotta do.
*sniff*
Here I was, all excited to see a new post from you after a long dry spell. And what is it? A goodbye post. I think I'll go eat worms.
I'll miss you. Come back if you can. =(
I totally understand your feelings! When my computer crashed last week, I think I started shaking and going into withdrawls from not being able to be online.....But after a few days, I realized how nice it was to have a "computer vacation." Whatever you decide I am sure it will be the right choice for you!
As a side note, I am going to send out an email (I don't think I have yours....) to ask my blogging buddies to take off the link to my blog on theirs if they are not private. I have had so many friends get weird comments from people they dont' know lately and although I am not wanting to go private I was thinking this might help random
visitors and hopefully still allow people I want to visit. Thanks!
*Sniff*
Do what you have to do, don't mind me. Maybe you'll have to make it up to me by meeting me for lunch... That just might make me feel better.
I'm going to miss you Lucy!
Don't be a stranger forever though, you have to update once in a while so we know you are still kicking :)
Will you send me your email, just so I have it? (In case you stop your wonderful, exciting, entertaining blog....!)
lisaballen@hotmail.com
Gosh, that's really too bad. Complete strangers are one thing, but we're family. I know you talk to your sisters all the time but for us, this has been the perfect way to feel connected and know what is going on in your family.
At least we'll be seeing you soon...
I don't have a sense of worry...but I sort of have a sense of blogger's ennui. I think it's all part of the blogging process. The excitement of blogging comes and it goes. I like to read the blogs I read but I don't feel a huge need to search out more. I like to post but I'm much less motivated. I think it comes and it goes. I have considered going private. (I wish all the lurkers would come out of the woodwork too!!) Who knows. Good luck with your decision. I love ya!!
first of all I have missed you and you know I would definitely miss you if you ceased to blog, but I completely understand as I could have written this post myself. This last weekend I had a moment of clarity and I realized that blogging is keeping me away from the truly important people in my life...it's keeping me from living. Of course there can be good, but I wonder and have been wondering if the bad out way the good. I can't imagine walking away from it completely, I mean I know I would miss it, but there are things about it I wouldn't.
I'm not sure what the answer is or what I will actually do (I've gone through this should I shouldn't I before), but I have been toying with making it private if nothing else. And yes I would be interested to see who the lurkers are.
So if nothing else I am grateful I have met you through blogging and hope no matter what either of us decide it will make no difference to our friendship. I'm looking forward to an update...what about lunch? :)
Hi Lucy,
visiting your blog today (it already is evening around here and that is usually the time when I can read) and seeing your new entry was like getting a little present, patiently waited for. I can only express my feelings of understanding and a tad of sadness, as have all the other ones said before!
But whatever you decide, just listen to your feelings, that will surely work best!
Best wishes - until next time...?
Claudia
Say it ain't so! Of course I understand the reasons behind it, but I would be sorry to see you stop blogging. Without blogging we'd still be strangers and at least I am glad we're not.
I'm gonna miss you, Lucy.
Oh no you don't!!! I think I just broke the pattern of understanding. OOPS!!!No really-you do what you want, but c'mon, you can't stop all together. How else am I supposed to know what's going on in the life of my dear Lucy Luc? I know that there's the phone and all, but I want pix too! Hey really, you do what you want. I'm just giving you a hard time, but do know that your blog will be missed if you stop all together. Just go private!
I had a feeling this was coming... I will definitely miss your blog more because I like you in real life now too but I understand. I have gone through ups and downs but I wouldn't call it a prompting. I hope you find what works for your family. I will miss your great writing and the fabulous way you share your thoughts.
I hope we can get together a few more times before your move!
Having talked to you about this via phone conversation today. I can totally relate as well. Perhaps a vacation from blogging after the vacation will allow you some time to breath and think. In the meantime, you really will be missed. Your wit, your Henry updates, etc. Hopefully sooner or later will be the trick. Love ya!
I'm surprised, but totally understand. I'll miss you. You are a great blogger. Very funny and interesting. I also like keeping up on the details of you life since I am horrible at phone calls.
Color me shocked! You're a blogging superstar, prolific writer and all around good time so I'm totally blown away by this decision. But it's important to do what you feel you should do, so we'll just have to be happy with that.
You'll still come to the blog party though right?
*sigh* Oh, Lucy. I will miss you greatly, and your beautiful boys. I hope you can continue your book reviews, at least in good reads. I LOVE your book reviews and use them in my book clubs, to persuade people to read the books! I value your opinion greatly. Thank for all that you have done for us! Your awesome, Lucy!
Darn. Bummer. Shoot. And I just bought a Bay point blanket to match yours. From Banff. We were gonna be Bay blanket blogging twins!
But seriously, I'll miss you and your posts.
Lucy, you will definitely be missed! I felt a bit of a "but I just found her!" feeling when reading your post.
But, I truly believe that whenever you have one of those lingering feelings that acting on those feelings definitely brings comfort. I hope you'll pop in and say hello every once in a while. I've enjoyed getting to know you a bit this way.
Hey Lucy......you had a break and found out it was fun! Love your blog but totally understand how time consuming it can be! Hope you are at peace with whatever you decide.... just know you have loyal, loving fans out there who appreciate the time you have spent the last few years doing this. I too love your book reviews and will continue to look them up..... just be happy and keep singing!! love from Kas
Lucy, I will miss reading you each day! I love getting your perspective on things. Thanks for giving us so many great posts.
I echo others above me in hoping you will check in every now & then. But I understand you acting on your feelings; you have to do what is best for you.
Hold the Phone!!! I too know how daunting it is to have your public waiting for the next bit of entertainment, but even if you just blogged when something funny happens that you just have to share, or if you are just in a bad mood and need an outlet! All I'm saying, don't go away for good, you will be severely missed!
(I know, I know, it is your decision....blah blah blah)
Love ya!
Feeling seriously bummed after reading this- Lucy! But I know what you mean and hope you do what is right for you!
I will miss all your great posts and book reviews but you gotta do what you gotta do, I will stick around and hope to see you again, if you go private and want to invite me I would love an invite. Hope to see a post sooner than later!
Everyone is right, you will be missed! But in reading your blog, I know you put your family first. And follow promptings when it involves each one of them. Good luck, I'll miss you! Here's to time outside as soon as we get spring, ha!
hope you had a fun trip! i'll miss you around these parts. i agree with jill, you are a superstar!!
You gotta do what's right for you.
I kept hoping this was an April Fools joke post. But I saw it was posted on March 31st. I have been missing you and, like another commenter, feel like "BUT, I just met her (do you hear my long whine?). If you do go private or stop blogging, please ask for my e-mail. I know blogging is time consuming (I even just said the same fated thing to my hubby a few nights ago "I think I'm going to have to give up blogging." The boys are up many times in the middle of the night and when I stay up blogging until 1 and then the baby rises at 6:30 or 7, I don't do well) and I don't want to ask you to go against an inner gut feeling. Still, I will miss your book reviews and your boy comments and your openness about struggles and just hearing how you are doing. Please don't go! Or somehow, pack me in your luggage!
Finally. It was getting to be a real drag clicking on your blog about every 2 weeks and skimming through a bunch of text to see what was going on. I say good riddance...
(You know I'm joking:)
AF
I will miss you too!
Darn, I was hoping you were kidding. I get it though. At least there is the telephone. Happy Days ahead for your baptism month!
Oh my! It's a slap in the face to return from my trip to a non-blogging Lucy. But I completely understand the dilemma. There's a time & season for everything. Just know that you are an AMAZING writer & clever, clever individual.
Evn if I understand you, I hope you will change your mind becase I reaaly love to read your blog. Iwill miss you :-(
Come on no regrets yet? I keep waiting for the Aprils fools joke. Miss you!
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