Lessons from Oslo

Like a certain political figure who was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize last week, I was similarly surprised with an award that I did not seek, nor do I deserve. Melissa, a fellow book lover I connected with on Goodreads and who blogs at Gerbera Daisy Diaries, played the part of Norwegian Parliament and honored me with this nod to "looking great." Thank you, Melissa. You are kind.

However, unlike a certain political figure who was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize last week, and because I have done even less to earn this award than my prize garnering colleague, I must decline this honor and give credit where credit is due: a complete stranger named Lena. She is the genius behind the cute bird banner and soothing blue and green background.

Maybe Melissa just wanted to make a statement hoping to encourage me to actually do something to eventually earn this accolade. Or, perhaps my dazzling words and skill with parenthetical comments made it seem like I had a good looking blog, never mind the fact that I have only changed my template a total of four times total in the three and a half years I've been blogging and have no idea how to do anything custom. If there isn't a widget or page element for it, you won't find it on my blog.

So, with a desire to keep the integrity of the award intact, and in the hands of those who actually make an effort to have great looking blogs, I will, as the award rules instruct me to do, pass this on to five blogs that are easy on my eyes.


This award is meant as a pat on the back to those paying particular attention to their blog presentation, and goodness knows some of them look awesome! Of course none of them are pretty empty shells, so there’s no shame to mention how nice their blogs are!

Here are the rules:
1. Post the award on your blog, with the name of the person who has granted the award, and his or her blog link.

2. Pass the award to 5 other blogs that you particularly like. Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

Here are my five:

1. Amy at My Words. Her photography is inspirational and makes clicking on her blog totally worth it.

2. Sue at The Mickelson Family. I love her banner and how large all of her pictures are. She also has a rocking playlist that certain Canadians enjoy:)

3. Annie at Deep Lunges and Unitards. You can tell she is an artist. Plus, she just might be the funniest blogger ever.

4. Libby at Sweet Land of Liberty. She is always changing her template to reflect the season or her mood. But, she's private, so...nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.

5. Bekki at My Mommy Musings. She is an expert digital scrapbooker and often shares her pages. i love seeing her creativity. not to mention, my cute nieces and nephews.

May those deserving souls enjoy the fruits of their labors.

IEKSA

I love how we compartmentalize grief. Five stages, right? Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. Or DABDA, if you will.

When I first learned about these magical stages, sometime during my 7th grade year, I thought they were a hard fast rule. If something bad happened, and I was angry about it, I'd think, "Can't I hurry up and feel depressed already?" Because that meant acceptance was next on the list and that was the only stage I wanted to be in.

Of course I say this facetiously, and am not meaning to belittle true grief. For those who experience it, I apologize that your suffering has been organized so well for you.

In a much more lighthearted arena, I thought I'd share with you my latest epiphany.

There are also five stages of Blog Award awareness.

In the year and a half that I've been blogging, I've experienced the unique phenomenon that is blog awards. Through hindsight, I can look back and point out some of the stages I've been in.

1. Ignorance. There you are, blogging along when you notice one. Perhaps it's on a sidebar of one of those "big" blogs you lurk on, or even good friend's blog but the bright chartreuse banner, the shiny trophy, the picturesque landscape catches your eye. They are all named differently but with titles that induce feelings of pride. Nice. Thinker. Inspirational. Mom. Rockin'. All things I aspire to be. Ignorance led to....
2. Envy. Why doesn't anyone think my blog is special? I'm nice. I think. Maybe I'm not very inspirational but I'm pretty sure I rock. How arbitrary is this judging system? My envy led to...
3. Knowledge. If you're curious enough, you can trace the origins to most awards. I wasn't. I didn't know where these accolade's came from, but I must have imagined them to be from some voting academy, because when I was finally given a blog award from a friend, and through the link discovered its origin, I was disappointed to discover that it was nothing more than a glorified chain letter. Pass this on to five people, who are each then supposed to pass it on to five people, etc. etc. etc. The award I was given, although from a distinguished blogger who I admire greatly, was started by a sixteen year old girl who had given herself an elvish name and wrote passionately about the evils of the secular world, the superiority in home schooling, and the paramount nature of all things Lord of the Rings. I couldn't take it seriously and ended up ignoring a very kind gesture. This unfortunate knowledge led to...
4. Scorn. Blog awards are unfair. They circulate among given groups and while there is no "academy" doling them out, they are very much peer based. You love me. I love you. And while I've spent the better part of the year judging them as things of naught, I've softened recently to acknowledge that there is no malice, no exclusion and no superiority attached to any of them. They are just nice things that nice people do for other nice people. It's a big valentine's party. I love valentines! Turning away from scorn led to...
5. "A proper and rational view of blog awards which includes gratitude, humility and appreciation. I mean, really, talk about much ado about nothing. Making a case against blog awards is like making a case against Junie B. Jones books (oh wait...I hate those books), or not putting your child in nursery because they don't have natural, wood toys or organic snacks (there is someone out there who needs to get over herself even more than me). It's just silly. It doesn't matter. Blog awards are nice things. To give...and to get.So without further ado (and it's possible for me to ado and ado and ado), I'd like to thank Kelly A for passing on this award to me:
   
   
   Kelly is a great writer. She's witty, articulate and a tongue-in-cheek genius. Her words pack a punch AND she's a self-described internet surfer extraordinaire, so I felt honored to be mentioned. Of course, these feelings are what normal people might have felt originally, but I, apparently, needed the process first. Now, I can join your ranks and genuinely say, "Thank you. It means a lot."
   
   For more information about this award, you can click on this link. Part of the newly crowned awardees' responsibilities include coming up with "three things they believe are necessary to make writing good and powerful". Here are my three:

1. It's got to be real. Good, bad, funny, sad, inspirational, crafty...it's just got to be you. The Real You. But your real self can always strive to be better.
2. Read your post to make sure it makes sense. I can be bad at this. I often read my blog after its been published and shake my head at some of my run-on sentences and poorly edited sentences. Most of the time I go back and fix my mistakes, which I think anyone who writes and expects another person to read such writing should do.
3. Write about what you know. I know about laundry. I know about books. And, unfortunately, I know too much about the crazy and annoying things that happen to me daily. Sometimes I wish I wore rose-colored glasses, or was an inspiration to the basket weaving world with my craft, but I'm not. I feel things and I write about them.
   
   Finally, like all good blog awards, I am now entrusted to pass this goodie onto five bloggers who I think roar with the best of them.
   

1. Amy. Her writing is poetry. And it still manages to be mostly about motherhood.
   
2. Kelly. Her stories makes me laugh. I really enjoy the "voice" of her writing.
3. Neighbor Jane Payne. She's got a really powerful roar and knows a lot about a lot of stuff. Her blog won't lead you astray.
4. Chloe. Her "dear you" letters always leave me gaping with their originality, humor and insight.
5. April. She's relatively new to the blogging community but with her word of the week and her eloquence in what she writes about, her growl has already garnered the attention such writing deserves. But I do admit to having to hate her, just a little, for already having such a fine looking blog. Um...where were the growing pains? The pictures that were too big for your banner and the ugly template? And yes, by comparison, I realize my blog is about thirteen years old with big teeth, acne and the wrong color eye shadow.


There you have it. I've come full circle. I just went through a big ol' pride cycle and I'm proud to be out of it. Oh wait....

Nice Matters. Even when I forget.

I forgot Seth at school yesterday.

I feel horrible. He's old enough to remember this. In fact, when I told Jay about my awful goof, he sort of sucked the air in through his teeth and said, "I remember my mom doing that once." See? It scars a child. He's never going to fully trust me again. The next time I'm late, he's going to wonder right away, maybe even panic, if I've forgotten him.

It wasn't that I was stressed or busy or late. I just forgot. I had my niece and nephew over playing (Kelly and I are switching watching kids; she watches mine in the morning so I can volunteer and I watch hers in the afternoon so she can do whatever she needs. I hope she naps because she is almost 30 weeks pregnant and has still has some bad days) and suddenly it was a half hour after school gets out. I sort of shrieked and scared everyone, put the little ones in their car seats as fast as I possibly could and drove my mini-van like I was expecting the checkered flag (my NASCAR knowledge came in handy there). Seth had left our meeting place, but I could see him walking along the school, all alone. Not a single other student outside, no adults anywhere...just my little boy in his pale yellow polo wondering where his mom was.

I screeched around the block to meet him at the front of the school, where I was hoping he was walking to, and when I saw him, I felt even worse. His face was tear-streaked, his nose snotty, and he had had an accident.

"Where were you!?!" he sobbed. "Where were you!?! What were you doing??!!"

I hugged him, begged for forgiveness, admitted that I had just forgot and begged for forgiveness again. He told me in shame that he just couldn't hold it anymore and wet his pants, expecting me to be somehow disappointed in him, and I reassured him that that was low, low, low on the totem pole of mistakes that day. I had nothing to offer as penance, except the front seat, which he has never sat in before. He climbed up into the seat where we could hold clammy hands and started driving home. Then he started reading the gigantic warning label on the back of the sun visor about the certain death that would befall anyone under the age of 12 sitting in that seat. As Seth is a rule follower, that wasn't my best parenting moment either.

We got home, he changed his clothes, we cuddled and talked about emergencies and what to do in different circumstances. I told him he had done the exact right thing: wait for me a while and then head back into the office where the secretaries can call me or an emergency contact. Now, I've lost any sort of grace period I might have enjoyed. No more couple of minutes late. I will be there on time.

I wasn't going to blog about this. I think I share enough of my lameness and this unfortunate situation happens to embarrass me. In fact, I was sitting down to blog about Lei's kind Nice Matters Blog Award nomination, and nominate seven blogs that I think are deserving of this award. Then Kelly A. called and I got distracted.

We talked about lots of different things, but at some point, she said something about bringing dinner and another alarm went off in my head. Yesterday won't go down as my best day ever.

There is a woman in my new ward, who I have never met, who has an advanced stage of breast cancer. She is young, younger than me, and has a four year-old and a one-year old. They've mentioned her in Relief Society a number of times now and passed around a clipboard with days to sign up to bring her family meals. I don't know her, but remember the heartache of my own sister-in-law's illness so I signed up. For Thursday evening.

I know I remembered on Wednesday but I forgot on the day that mattered. Kelly, who really is the queen of great ideas, consoled me and told me to go over sometimes today with a coloring book and crayons, maybe some McDonald's gift certificates and some brownies. I know they are great ideas, and I'm going to do it, but I still feel awful letting this poor family down.

Nice matters. And while I am not feeling particularly deserving of Lei's thoughtful attention, these bloggers certainly come to mind when I read the purpose of the award.

It is for "those bloggers who are nice people; good blog friends & those who inspire good feelings and inspiration. Also for those who are a positive influence on our blogging world. Once you've been awarded please pass it on to 7 others who you feel are deserving of this award."

Not me yesterday, but something I'd like to aspire to most other days. And these bloggers seem capable of it full-time:

Lei at My Many Colored Days. I know she nominated me, but she is seriously the nicest, most inspirational blogger I've ever read. In fact, it took me awhile to leave a comment on her blog, because I had to hate her. Not really, but her awesomeness is that intimidating.

My parents at Montana to Myanmar. They aren't really caught up in the blogging world, but they are the nicest people I know, totally inspirational, and doing a heckuva lot of good on their mission. If you read about the good they do, they are a wonderful, uplifting addition to the blog world.

Andrea at Half-Dozen Cuties. Andrea is one of the nicest people I've ever known, and her blog is always upbeat and hopeful. She is always encouraging and has been one of my biggest supporters, loves blogging and all of its blessings and uses hers for good.

Jill at Creativity, Musings and Such. After the lovely and absolutely bizarre (in a good way, it's just foreign to me) showering of thoughtful birthday wishes from people I hardly know that have added warmth to my mailbox this last week, I have to give Jill credit for her support and spread of "Good Mail." Many bloggers have been inspired and joined in this tradition and you really do get a pick-me-up when an envelope comes in the mail with actual handwriting and a stamp. Plus, with her daily updates, her absolute realness, her comments of support, she knows that nice matters and she shows it every day through her blog.

Victoria at Just Breathe. She has been busy this summer, and hasn't updated much this month, but when she's around, she's known for her inspiration and kindness. In fact, she's pretty much what this award is all about.

Donna at The Dentist's Wife. The thing I love about Donna's blog is how much she loves to do it. She frequently changes the look of it, adding new things as she discovers them. She also comments on so many people's blogs, always leaving a happy face. She's a good person and it shows.

And finally, my friend, Jenny at Organized Mayhem. From her goal of doing a good deed a day to her thoughtfulness and generosity when it comes to birthdays or events, she is a positive influence on the blogging world. After all, she got me into it! She's definitely a good blog friend and the blog world is enriched, not to mention - cleaner, with her in it.

It's certainly not limited to these seven, And I'm not a superfan of blog awards (because who's in charge????), but I do think that nice matters. Thank you for being nice to me.