The Specialist

I wouldn't consider myself a photography snob, but after my recent experience at both Sears and Target this year, I might be wrong.

As you may recall, I took Daniel down to the next big town for his three month photos.  Even though studio photos are pretty out of vogue, I had certain months documented for all three older brothers and I wanted to continue the tradition with the littlest guy.  Well...it was kind of a disaster.  The pictures were expensive and the photographer was borderline inept and now I've been dodging Sears telemarketers for the last nine months as they seem to be having a special offer they can't wait to sell me every other week.  I should probably avoid saying I'm never going back, because you never know, but...I'm never going back.

My resolution already caused one fail when a photography session I was planning for my kids fell through at the next photo milestone.  Daniel's eight month pictures didn't happen and the coordinating summer outfits I had purchased, including Gymboree polos and cute seerksucker shorts, went unused and unworn (because my kids wear t-shirts and basketball shorts.  A collar seems to insult their extremely casual sensitivities).




s
I was also less motivated because Seth's shorts were mislabled.  I already knew a size 12 would be borderline small but when he put these shorts on during the summer, they were skin tight.   I thought, "That can't be right," and had him try on the 10's I got for Sam.  Sure enough, the 10s were larger.  I figure these shorts are actually 7 or 8s.  Funny.  Really funny that he could pull them on!

When I decided to travel to Montana for Thanksgiving, I knew I'd be traveling through Utah, which probably does more baby photography, both professional, semi-professional and studio, than any other state in the union.  I thought my plan to get Daniel's one-year pictures, albeit a month early, as well as pictures of all four boys for Christmas cards, was failproof.  I also thought, "I can still use the matching polos!  They don't look too summery paired with jeans."

I weighed the differences between different options and decided to go with Target.  My sister had a Groupon something or other that made it seem like going there was a sweet deal.  It turned out to not work at the location I went to but the printed portraits lining the walls of the teeny tiny studio convinced me it was still a good choice.

I made an appointment for Saturday afternoon.  At a Target.  In Utah.  The weekend before Thanksgiving.

It was not a good choice.

Holy large families, batman.

There was no room for us.  I mean, we were quite a group as well with four children and two adults (my sister, Maureen, went to help me), but we were nothing alongside the family with five practically grown children, the family with six children in their Sunday best and the family with the week old, who came with lots of outfit changes.  Everyone tried to be friendly enough but crowds in a good place overwhelm me and that many people surrounding me, plus the appointments being late, did not put me in a happy place.  I thought Target could do no wrong, but....well...I was wrong.

By the time the photographer called us into the 12X12 room, Daniel was already done.  He was tired of being held.  He was tired of being touched.  He was tired.  I brushed off her suggestions for festive holiday backdrops and props and said, "Just black and white, please.  No props."  Every single picture, I believe, they have on their walls has a black or white background with no props.  They are close ups of faces or cute candid shots.  If their festive backgrounds and props are such a hit, why aren't they proud of any of those pictures????  No, no. no.

She took a few shots and I could tell this wasn't going to be successful.  Daniel wouldn't hold still and Seth and Sam were nervous because they could tell I was grumpy.  Henry did better than expected (sometimes, he won't look at a camera) but instead of being surly, he was super cheesy.  Every grin was hardwired on his face.

The woman taking photos was jovial and started putting the boys in weird poses.  She could obviously detect my discomfort and reassured me that I'd have plenty of the more traditional pictures to choose from but she wanted to show me what she could do.  "I specialize in relationship photography," she explained.  And by that, she meant that she really wanted me to put my hands in a picture.

I had already refused the alluring hand shot option before the photo shoot even started but I was so worn down and disappointed by how things were going that I said, "Sure" when she brought it up again.  She had me stand next to Daniel and hold his hands and then said, "Now, get him to look up at you by talking to him."

Of course, he wouldn't.  He didn't even want to be holding my hands.  He wanted me to let him go and let him crawl over to the expensive photography equipment.  I've got a technology lover on my hands.

She snapped off a few and then we were done.  I  knew there would be nothing I absolutely loved and I was right.  I mean....they are my children so of course I think they are cute, but the sales guy they stick you with out in the foyer couldn't convince me to buy anything but the CD.  And that was expensive.

The following pictures include every single one "saved" meaning these were the best ones.  Sigh.

Action shot?

Kind of cute but his shirt needs to be pulled down.

Cute.  But not overwhelmingly so.

And then came the hands.  I actually wouldn't mind these had she told me to take off my big ol' white watch.

This is what is called a relationship photo, in case you were unaware.

Probably the cutest one.  Blast that white watch.

Group shot.  Don't love it.

Best one of the bunch, although Seth's smile is forced and Henry is....something.

I would have had this be the main Christmas card photo but with Henry leaning out, it didn't fit in a lot of the templates.

Henry stopped looking at the camera.  He can only focus for so long.

No.

 This took some persuading to even get me to consent and I actually admit that it's probably the cutest one.  I was worried, though.

Then, came the sales pitch.  Look at what we can do with our computer magic!

 We can put pictures side by side but....just off a bit.  Wow!

We can stack them in a small print.

We can collage them for you!

The photographer took an up close shot of Henry's shirt pattern and then used it as the background.   kind of cute.

I know these are sweet but they aren't my style.

 I expressed interest in Christmas cards and the guy gave me these two options.  I figured if I had the CD, I could just make something on my own.

I need to get better at photography.  I know what I like and there just isn't anyone here who offers family pictures at a reasonable price.  I checked with one professional here and the minimum sitting fee was $250 (that came with no pictures) and if you want the digital images afterward, you can purchase the CD for $900.  There has got to be a happy medium between my failures at these box store portrait studios and these overpriced photography sessions.   I'd love to take a class to become that happy medium.

Christmas Day

With a brand new toddler, I had low expectations of keeping Christmas beautiful this year.  This might be due to my memories of Henry at the same age, when he pulled the Christmas tree over three separate times and the lights, garland and ornaments were all haphazardly placed by the time Christmas Day arrived.

For this reason, I purposely kept the bottom six inches of the tree undecorated.  And do you know what?  He never went near the tree.  It was if it didn't exist.  Eventually, I coaxed him to look at it and then he did swat at a few ornaments but it was pretty harmless.  You never know.

I also waited to put presents under the tree, thinking he'd tear the paper or ribbons off but he left those alone as well.  All of the older boys, but Seth especially, were eager to see their names on tags under the tree and I started putting them under as fast as I could wrap them a couple of days before Christmas.  This year, as in years past, my goal was to not overdo it.  It is hard enough to keep Christ's birth as the focus of the holiday and I worry as good as my intentions are, they all end up spoiled year after year.  By the time I had all of the gifts wrapped and under the tree, in addition to the gifts from their grandparents, aunts and to each other, I knew I had failed again.  They loved it, of course, but the piles and piles were a bit obscene to me.

Still, Christmas time is the one time a year I will change decorations in the home and the boys know by that effort alone that it is a special and unique event.  I have an affinity for nativity scenes and have five set up around the house.  I'd like to get more.  To me, it helps balance all of those glittery boxes under the tree. This one is in my front entrance and is the biggest and glitziest by far.  It was given to me by my mother and is just a painted ceramic from Costco, I believe.  I still like it and enjoy its size and splendor.  The boys like looking at it as well.  I also have a single piece creche scene from Israel, a painted clay Mary, Joseph, Jesus structure, a blown glass nativity from Myanmar and a cute spanish nativity given to me by some visiting teachers years ago.  No santas, frostys or rudolphs, although I am not philosophically opposed to them.  I enjoy those stories and songs but choose to surround myself with religious and sacred symbols of Christmas to keep me grounded to the reason for the season.



I almost have 24 Christmas books now.  I have been building my collection and hope to have a book for each day in December to read...a literary advent, if you will.



I know I could do more with this big mantel but I like the reminder of peace and the pregnant Mary and Joseph on a donkey on the left side.




My mom gave me an early Christmas gift and we enjoyed this beautiful quilt all of December.  The red fabric is my favorite as its pattern is red with black music.  It is a nice addition to our holiday decor.


Our boys have never woken earlier than any normal day on Christmas.  I'm not complaining but I do think it a little interesting that they go to bed threatening to wake up at 2 am and then...sleep right through all of that internal excitement.  Henry was the first up and after letting him and Daniel explore their stockings for a bit, we eventually sent Henry upstairs to wake up the other two.  Maureen was there to catch all of the excitement and everyone seemed thrilled with what Santa left them.  Well...Daniel was more interested in Henry's hippity hop than his bee toy, but that's to be expected.

In addition to the hippity hop, Henry also got a globe.  Santa has learned that toys with small parts tend to get lost that very day.  It's much easier to keep track of two relatively large orbits instead.

Sam, got two more sets of college helmets for his collection.  I've never seen a boy more able to play by himself with imaginary brackets.  He sets the helmets up in rows and in groups of twos and then, methodically, moves helmets forwards if that team "wins" eventually crowning a championship helmet.  It's fascinating to watch.

Henry might have also been equally excited to play with Daniel's bee.  I have noticed Henry loves Daniel's toys.  He is a very emotionally young 6 almost 7 year old.

This was Seth's Santa list this year.  Very organized, don't you think?  He makes me laugh.

Santa did bring him one item on his lengthy list.  A Kevin Durant jersey, who is his absolute favorite player.

Daniel didn't really understand why there were all these new toys but he didn't seem to mind too much. He got this very ego affirming dog from Grandpa and Grandma J.  My favorite line, "You're wonderful!"

Maureen likes her hair products from Sarah, who always spoils everyone.

My mom made BYU pillowcases for all of the boys and included an age appropriate book.  Sweet!

The family got an X-box.  I hesitated to get another gaming system as we have a Wii but it is 5 years old and kind of tempermental.  Besides, the boys prefer the sport games (Madden, NBA2K, FIFA) and the Wii just doesn't do those games very well.  We got one with a Kinect sensor and I got myself Just Dance 4.  It makes you sweat!

Seth's brother's spoiled him by getting him more elite socks, a compression tank (I am not a fan of tanks on boys but I guess those sleeves affect pure shooting?) and he put together this over-the-door hoop from Santa and played all. day. long.

Easy to please Sam still playing with his helmets.  He also got a Lionel Messi jersey.

Henry couldn't wait to play with his new bath toy from Daniel.  Seriously, I think this $4.00 toy was the most fun he had all day.

He just likes to take baths with his brother.  It's way more fun to have someone else in there than to be in the big bathtub by himself.

Everyone got lots more stuff - books, BYU gear, games.  As much as the boys enjoyed opening up gifts, they each got the most excited when one of their brothers was opening up a personal gift.  There was quite a mess afterward.  Last year, my dad was around and I could barely give him boxes and wrapping paper fast enough to clean up.  This year, the room looked like this for quite a while.

Because I splurged and got him a new suit for our anniversary, I only got Jay the book No Easy Day and the game, "Pandemic" for Christmas.  I know it's not a competition but he definitely outdid my meager effort.  The first gift I opened from him were pictures and a poem from him and the boys.  Jay has always had a knack for lyrics/poetry (that is how he proposed - by singing an original song for me) and he came through with a real gem this year.

Twas the night before fair
And all through the farm
Cowboys were sleepin'
All nice and warm

Out in the barn were steers happy and fat
Chewing their cud and gross things like that
While Dad in his bed couldn't fall off to sleep
So excited for the show; all he could do was think

Did we ffed enough, brush enough, give the right hay?
Tomorrow we'll know what the judges will say
While Ma in her pj's slept peaceful and sound
Dreaming of trips, cars and jewels around

Her head was not full of different feeding rations
No, we know that she has different passions
But there in the morning, she wakes up a grinnin' 
"No matter what place, I know our boys are winnin'"

Four legs and a tail, a hide full of leather
Walking and feeding in all kinds of weather
Are not the dreams of our princess so dear
But she never complains and always has "cowboy cheer"

Manure is not really high on her list
And halters and show sticks would not be long missed
A barn for some cattle was not her first choice
But she put herself aside, to think of her boys

We know that the "show" is not what you do
And 4-H may not be ideal for you
But deep down inside it brings me such pleasure
Our boys will learn lessons that they too will treasure

Plus, looking at sires just gives me a gleem
So thank you for letting me live out my dream
Someday you may wonder what the fuss was about
But you'll also be sure if a steer is "soggy" or "stout"

Jewels are easy to buy in the store
But we wanted to give you a little bit more
So with this nice necklace to our princess we say
To the best steer mom ever,
Merry Christmas, today!

I then opened up a jewelry box and found this!  Wow.  Words can not express. I have a cow...hanging at my throat.  A dream come true.

Jay quickly explained that the box I was to open next didn't arrive on time and that this was more of a joke than a real gift.  A couple of days later, I opened this:

A beautiful mother's necklace with my boys' birthstones.  It's interesting because Sam and Henry are both January and the color of garnets are not the same.  It doesn't bother me, though, because they are not the same. I like the difference.

I much prefer this charm dangling off my neck.  It really is lovely.

I loved Christmas and don't want to sound ungrateful or unhappy but there was sadness later in the day that shadowed over everything.  I don't know if it's an emotional letdown after so much preparation and anticipation or something more sinister and troubling but I felt a bit jealous.  Not of anyone's possessions or acquisitions but of everyone's seeming contentedness with their day.  As I talked to family members around the country, I felt like everyone was having a better day wherever they were or whomever they were with.  Maybe it was me missing being a child.  Or missing family.  Maybe it is the guilt from never making fudge, sugar cookies or gingerbread houses with my kids or not having annual ornaments or going caroling.  There are so many good things to spend time doing and we didn't do so many things and now it was all over and too late to make amends. I always think I'll have more energy or more ambition the next year and I never do.  I want my boys to understand charity and find the joy in generosity and giving but, this year, it was just easier for me to get all of the gifts for the family our 4-H club adopted for Christmas .  I'm not even sure they know we did it.  The thought, "They're missing the point of Christmas gifts," went through my head and then I wondered if I knew the point was of Christmas gifts.  I know.  It was quite the letdown.

I include my less than happy feelings because they were as real a part of the day as was all of the joy and fun.  I want Christmas to be meaningful and purposeful as well as memorable and wonderful.  By the sound of all those adjectives, I guess I want it to be "full."  Not just with stuff but with love. I hope it was.

'Twas the Night Before Christmas

Like most people, I suppose, I cherish family tradition. Like most married people, I suppose, I really cherish the family traditions that I grew up with. It's been a process for me over the many years to let go of how I think Christmas Eve should go and embrace how it does go.

We are so lucky to live in the same town as some of Jay's family. Most years, at least one of Jay's siblings has come to spend the holiday with their parents and there has always been a Christmas Eve gathering there. For awhile, I desperately attempted to hold on to some of the traditions I grew up with, namely reading the scripture account of Christ's birth by candlelight and finishing the evening with ginger ale, crackers and cheese, but, in years past, we usually don't return home until after 10 pm and our little kids have been too tired for anything more. It was hectic enough trying too keep them happy enough to open their Christmas Eve pajamas, a tradition Jay and I started together that neither of us grew up with, and set out their stockings for Santa.  Plus, I realized that I was the only person eating the crackers and cheese and drinking the ginger ale. Apparently, smoked cheese is an acquired taste.

While I mentally let go of my expectations again this year, I realized something. We have really, really awesome Christmas Eve traditions. My kids look forward to going to their grandparents house every year. It's become the tradition, not the thing that interferes with the tradition. Not everyone gets to grow up with a family talent show, take a whack at a piñata dangling off of Grandpa's gardening tool or try to find an almond in rice pudding for a prize (Sam got it this year. I have never managed to get the bowl with the almond in it. I'll have to eat more than one bowl next year. Won't be a problem because I crave it and Vaughn and Patty only make it once a year). This year did not disappoint.

Forgoing the traditional ham dinner, Karen, Patty and I decided on a mexican themed meal. Karen made posole, Patty brought tamales, Jay made his famous chile verde and I brought a 7 layer dip with chips. It seemed a small affair this year as it was just our family, Vaughn, Patty and Delanie and Jay's parents but my sister, Maureen, was there as well and it felt festive. Especially when the program started.

Everyone had been asked to bring a talent to perform and no one spoiled the fun by pretending to forget. Henry started the show with a bang with a rather fitting song whose meaning and appropriateness was lost on him. He just liked singing, "Somebody snitched on me!"  My Nikon was acting up again.  Something is wrong with the autofocus and most of these pictures are just blurry enough to bug me.

This video is long but really worth watching.  Henry is so funny and cute.  We just need to get those "s"s and "r"s articulated!

Karen followed by bringing out percussion instruments for everyone and we played and sang along to Jingle Bells.  No picture as I was busy rocking out with my wood blocks.

Seth and Sam's piano teacher didn't have them learn any Christmas pieces and instead sent them both home with books below their level so that they could work on sight reading.  Seth chose The First Noel for his talent.  His posture is killing me.

Patty brought this harp thing that makes it easy for anyone to play because you just strum where the note says to play.  All my boys enjoyed taking a turn.

Vaughn told a very funny story that was a play on God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen that had to do with someone switching the signs on a ladies and gentlemen's restroom.  So funny.

Jay shared the history behind the less familiar carol Good King Wenceslas.  With the backstory, we all enjoyed singing it while he played the guitar.

Maureen and Sam played two duets.  One for his talent and one for hers:)

I admit that I inserted a beloved tradition of my own family.  It wasn't really a tradition but something we did for a few years after we got married and still took turns going to our parents homes for Christmas.  When it was at my house, we all sang Handel's Hallelujah Chorus because we finally had more than one tenor and one bass.  With Maureen there to play the difficult accompaniment, it was the perfect year to have Jay's family give it a go.  We did great!

Jay's dad performed a few magic tricks with a string and later read Twas the Night Before Christmas for the kids.

Delanie performed Feliz Navidad on her trombone.

Then, came the pinata.  Really, a pinata makes any event a success.

Look at Daniel's face.  He was so overwhelmed.  Mostly because it was already 2 hours past his bedtime.

We got home and everyone found their Christmas Eve package.  It was pajamas!  Surprise!

Most years I try and follow a color scheme or some other kind of theme but this year, I just got what I thought people would like.  Daniel got some bronco fleece footies, Henry a pair of Angry Birds bottoms.  Sam's pajamas had the helmets from every NFL team and Seth's were thick fleece with a chalk drawing of a football play on them.  Jay was Batman.  Maureen and I were simply ravishing in blue.

I get goofy around my siblings sometimes.  Posing for pictures.

I tried the camera again, thinking it might work but it still didn't.  Grrr.

Phone photo option

I remember taking this picture of Daniel in the middle of the night last year during one of his Christmas Eve feedings.  As he no longer wakes up during the night, I took this the next night (when I remembered).  Look at how much he has grown!  Of course, Henry saw me struggling to get a picture of a still Daniel with his stocking next to him and wanted to show off how still he could be.  It helps to be six-almost-seven!

The stockings were laid out, WAY too many cookies with a large glass of milk were left and visions of sugarplums (or toys. Or mini football helmets. Or basketballs) danced in their heads. I went to bed happy knowing that our night before Christmas was laden with happy traditions for my boys...and me.  Maybe someday, I'll reintroduce smoky cheese and ginger ale.  Maybe then, they'll be ready for it as well.