No...I'm not joining the ranks of the super-fit 30 something club that runs insane distances just to prove she can. I'm not that crazy (or fit)....
Instead, I'm only crazy enough to haul my kids through six vast, western states and two large Canadian provinces in pursuit of family, friends and fun.
To ensure that I had the fortitude to make it to the end, my strategy focused on activity pacing: bursts of energy followed by temperate days of whatever. For the most part, this strategery (I'll always thank W for that great word) was a huge success. I'd give it a 96 % success rating; points taken away for being away from Jay for so long, car stresses, Henry theatrics and no alone time to recharge. I'm a girl that craves isolation every so often, and there were times I felt the emotional wear that came from being "on" too many days in a row. I'm glad I didn't cave into the alluring temptation to separate off and hide, however, because there really were too many people to see...places to go...and things to do.
The whole trip really did compare to a marathon, though. Blogging about it is even more similar.
Ergo...the marathon blog post...mile by mile.
Mile 1: Is my car ready for a man-free 4,000 mile performance?
Answer: No. My brakes needed replacing (again) the day I wanted to leave. Jay took the car in for an oil change and brake check "just to be sure" and was told they needed replacing. Of course they did. Hundreds of dollars later and hours after I wanted to go, I finally blasted off around 3:00 pm on Tuesday, the 22nd of July. Hold on to your bladders, kiddos, 'cause mama needs to make good time.
We got to my sister's house about 10:00 pm and I put the kids straight to bed.
Mile 2: Getting To the Glory of the West (i.e. Montana).
I love the drive between Utah and Montana. It's not particularly exciting with long stretches of straight roads and all of that Idaho in between (sorry Idahoans...but Southern Idaho is not your selling point), but it's a drive I've done so many times that almost every town, rest stop, mountain pass, and curve of the road triggers a memory for me. Like the time Jay and I discussed me serving a mission vs. us getting married on our first road trip. Or stopping alongside the interstate to do snow angels in eight feet of snow. Like I said...good times.
But the best part of this particular drive home was the fact that once I got there, I got to leave all three of my younglings with their grandpa and grandma while I jetted away for a weekend in Seattle. I've already posted about my dear friend's wedding, which was fabulous, but I also met my sister, Jennifer, there for a little sister's retreat. Two nights in a hotel, shopping and good food made a great weekend even better.

Before I left, we took the boys downtown to a kiddie parade. Totally my kind of parade. It lasted about ten minutes and they threw out tons of candy.
The next day we went to some factory outlet stores in Tulalip. I don't shop often, but when I do, I kind of go crazy. I felt like I had more than this picture shows.
Late in the afternoon, we ate at the cheesecake factory. Tragedy of tragedy, I ordered a Tuxedo cheesecake to go, but was too full to eat it before the wedding, it was too late after the wedding, and I forgot it in the hotel refrigerator the next day. I was sad about it for a while. Mile 3: Hanging Out A Home With The Cousins
Jen brought me back to Montana in her van and we spent the week together with our kids sans husbands. The noise level was off the charts, but the energy and fun levels were too. All the kids were treated to whatever they wanted for breakfast each morning from grandpa, lots and lots of parks and walks to tire them out and a nice, cool basement to crash in after the activity-filled days. My car had a little stressful incident when the tire-pressure gauge came on for no apparent reason. The mechanic put more air in the tires and I simply hoped for the best.
Feeding this many children, especially boys, takes some quick thinking and fast hands. Somehow, they managed to get fed everyday.
Henry tripped on the outside concrete on the patio and looked like Charlie Chaplin (or Hitler if you lean towards the darker side of things) for a good week.
We spent a very pleasant evening listening to a band perform in the band shell while the kids played on a nearby playground. Love summer nights in Montana.
One night, my mom and sisters went and saw the play The Secret Garden at a local theater. I saw my old 4th grade teacher there. Hello, Mr. Murphy!Mile 4: Hiking
Jen and I hiked our favorite mountain twice: once with our older boys and oncewith just the two of us. Sadly, my ideal pace is much closer to what the kids were able to do than what Jen was capable of. There are some really steep sections to conquer and after feeling pathetically lame after needing to stop so much, I only felt that much more out of shape when I called Jay later that week to hear that he had ran up a 13,000 ft. mountain as part of his training. Oh, how I wish I matched him more.
Mile 5: Local Sprinkler Park
I went to the local sprinkler park twice during my stay. Through a non-profit government program, a free lunch is provided to anyone under the age of eighteen between the hours of 12:00 and 1:00. Well..."free" meaning it's paid for by the taxpayer, because, after all, there is no such thing as a free lunch. Politics aside, our children had a great time running between the sprinkler park and the playground.
Mile 6: Staggering Ox
Seth had his first clubfoot sandwich at my favorite sandwich shop. Previously, he had stuck with the guts dipped in ranch dressing. I think the Ox may have a new convert. I had the Nuke Deluxe potato that day, but we went two other times with two different sandwiches, so I had all my bases covered.
My nuke potatoe (ham, turkey, two kinds of cheeses, onions, peppers and mushrooms broiled on top of a potato) and Seth taking a bite of his ham and cheese.My great friend, Kari, moved back to our hometown a couple of years ago, but this was the first time I really had a chance to spend time with her there. I met her for her birthday lunch at Chili's. Kari is one of those friends who when you see her, it feels like no time at all has passed. You just pick up from where you left off the last time you met...years previously.
Mile 8: The Tour Train
I love the tour train. Yes, it's touristy, and yes, I've done it plenty of times before, but I never get tired of going out in that fun contraption seeing the best of my hometown. Mom/Grandma offered up this activity to anyone who wanted to do it and everyone but grandpa signed up. Sammy has been struggling through some post-move/trip separation anxiety, so I had to turn around about 30 times to wave "hello" to him and reassure him that all was well, but he survived...even being several rows away.
All aboard. Sammy wanted to sit with his cousins, even though that meant a little separation from mom. Hence, the waving.
We even had gummy bears from grandma to keep him busy. He threw them over the edge sometime during the middle of the ride.Mile 9: From Montana, I headed further north to stay with my sister, Emily, in Canada. In case you didn't know, the border has gotten much stricter (and much more anxiety producing) to cross. I did remember to bring the kids' birth certificates and my own passport, but I didn't have a letter from Jay granting me permission to travel out of the country with our children. I knew I did actually have permission, only no letter to prove it, so I had my mom forge me a note. Her handwriting looks exactly like her handwriting, so I was really, really hoping they wouldn't ask for the note. They did.
Know this: I would never, ever, ever pass a polygraph test. My heart was pounding answering the simple questions like, "Why are you visiting Canada? Where is your intended destination? Are you bringing any produce, guns, drugs across the border with you?" All easily answered, but I was sweating as a result of that forged note! I couldn't even look at the border patrol person's face while waiting. for her to look at it. Instead, I pretended to busy myself with something on the passenger seat until I heard her say, "thank you. Have a good day." As stressful as that was, I have to say the Canadians were much nicer to me than the Americans on the other side of the border.
The best part about being at Emily's house, other than finally visiting after a seven year span, was watching our kids play together. She has a great house for play...a big basement, a nice shady backyard with a trampoline, and a safe neighborhood with a park nearby. And it also didn't hurt that her husband, Jim, is so willing to watch the kids when he can. We went to Calgary for a day, we went to a movie one night (the X-files. It was bad. Don't go. But if you do...bring a coat. Brrrr.)
Mile 11: Lake Day
Emily and I met two of her good friends, Amanda and Karla, at a small provincial lake for the day. It was exactly what me and my kids needed right then. A beach with sand toys that kept Henry safe and occupied for hours, water that was shallow enough to frolic in, and ice cream when the going got tough. Add the pleasant 80 something degrees temperature (they know it in Celsius, but that's just crazy talk), no wind and plenty of shade for the moms and we managed to stay until almost 5:00. It was that kind of fun.
Yummy ice cream. I didn't get any. I stood in line to get some, but got stuck behind a European gentleman, ordering for a whole lot of people, who was wearing a speedo. My senses were totally overwhelmed, so I left. Mile 12: Leaving Canada.
It was a long drive between Emily's house and Spokane. I wanted to arrive at Chad and KariAnn's house at a decent hour so that our kids could play and reconnect satisfyingly before bedtime. I left relatively early (as early as packing up all my belongings allows) and Emily packed us sandwiches so that we could stop and eat at a rest stop instead of a restaurant. The trouble is, Canada doesn't find it necessary to advertise their rest areas as much as I'm used to in the States. As soon as I saw the sign, it was too late to turn so I'd drive on by until the next one. Of course, I missed the next one too, and the one after that and before I knew it, my kids were hungry and we were in a town. A & W it was.
I ordered the boys all kids meals and myself a teen burger and four waters. Want to know the cost of our deluxe dining? $27.00. Canadian dollars. I only had American money, which, I was told, was not worth as much as Canadian, so it cost me even more than that. Darn rest stops signs!
I made it out of Canada, but not before some major grilling from the border patrol. Yes, they needed to see the letter from my husband (this time written by my brother-in-law, who has much more masculine looking handwriting), they needed me to take off my sunglasses, open the sliding door so that he could ask my kids some questions, ask me why my plates say I'm from Utah if I'm not, ask me why my husband is not with me, what he does, where he works and for how long, chastise Seth for not having his seat belt on (which I'm sure he did have on before our twenty minute stop at the border. Seth was horrified) and then tell us, "O.K. Move along." I get the tension. We are on high alert. But if a mother and three young children in a mini-van, registered in the US, with proof of US citizenship are now treated as a threat, heaven help the poor foreigner coming to visit our great country. Yikes.
I thought this line cut into the trees was kind of bizarre. That's the difference between Canada and the USA.Mile 13: Girls Night
My favorite group of girls came to KariAnn's to say hello. I'm so glad they did. It was very fun to catch up face to face and enjoy this beautiful bunch once more.
Mile 14: Lake Day Take Two
Our friends, Chad and KariAnn and Jason and Andrea, spend their summers on the lake. It's just what they do. Although boat less ourselves, after five years of being friends with these two couples, Jay and I spent our fair share on their boats during the summer months as well. Therefore, it felt totally appropriate to spend my one full day in Spokane doing my favorite summer thing with some of our favorite people in the world.
KariAnn got in the water to help Sammy in his first attempt at waterskiing. He didn't get up, but he tried and never cried. Such a brave boy.
He did wakeskate with Chad. The first time they got up, he panicked and cried. He tried again and after knowing what to expect, liked it a whole lot more.
Then it was time for tubing. Sam, Jack and Alec have a go (check out jack's hair from the speedy ride.)Mile 16: My Ward Family
After we moved, they realigned the ward boundaries in our former stake and the ward we belonged to was split. Realizing that many families I loved were not there on Sunday, it still felt like coming home. As soon as the boys and I walked into the chapel, there were familiar faces smiling and hands waving and all three men in the bishopric welcoming us back with their eyes.
Henry was an absolute pill the entire meeting, so I was mostly out in the hall and foyer, but when the meeting ended and I went in for the good-bye hugs, my heart longed to stay. Forever. I love those people.
Mile 17: Sunday Dinner With The Neighbors
Before I left on this epic journey, I emailed Neighbor Jane to request a visit with not only her, but two other local neighbors, Melanie and Susan. Not only did she warmly respond, but she topped any expectation I had of meeting bloggers for the first time.
The directions she gave me were very easy, with names like "Road 3" and "Road 0.5", but Jane will admit it did miss one critical direction from the interstate exit and I unfortunately got lost. Thankfully, I had her phone number and arrived only a quarter-hour late. As soon as I pulled into her driveway, I smiled at what greeted me.

Jane must have sensed this was necessary, for as soon as I took the kids out of the van, a man that had an uncanny resemblance to one I've seen on a blog came out and asked me what I needed.
I sort of chuckled, but with a totally straight face, he told me I was at the Johnson place and I needed to go further down the road to get to where I needed. If those welcoming words weren't written on the garage, I have no doubt I would have gotten back into the car in search for the right place. Thankfully, he cracked a smile at the end and, a little bashfully, I made my way into the house.
There was absolutely no need to be bashful, however, because I was immediately greeted by the most friendly faces in the world. Talk about kindred spirits! As soon as I saw Susan and her family, who I have actually met before, it felt just like seeing old friends again. And sweet Jane. A neighbor indeed.
I didn't know quite what to expect, but I did not expect a full dinner including shredded BBQ beef, all sorts of salads, fresh corn on the cob and fruit. And I certainly didn't expect everyone to bring their families.
It was beyond great to see Melanie's Milo, Jane's Calvin and see Susan's Terry. Add their children to the mix, who played with my own children (actually, Susan's Zoey watched Henry all night) and I enjoyed a very relaxing, comfortable and fun evening.
Calvin started a fire and we spent the better part of the evening outside attempting to perfect the roasted marshmallow (impossible) and feeling like models as our own posses snapped our picture (we all concurred that we preferred it to the self-portrait).
I left with a smile on my face and three additional real-life friends. They are as down to earth and kind as anyone you'd ever meet. Thank you. All of you.
Mile 18: My 33rd Birthday
I like birthdays. I love my birthday. I really try not to be a diva about it, because it's no fun forcing other's to be jolly on your behalf, but I do enjoy having a day that celebrates me. I'm really glad I exist, and I hope there are a few others that are glad too. Spending my birthday on the road wasn't ideal, but my sisters, Jen and Sarah, and my parents did their best to make me feel special. It was a nice day, with a girl's lunch at Chico's Tacos followed by pedicures where I enjoyed a chair massage that had me shimmying like a stripper. Seriously, those chairs can make you bounce! I left it on so that Jen could have a good laugh at my expense and now enjoy my bright red toes and slightly less cracked heels.
A kiss from Sammy. Jen got me all sorts of fancy hair products and shampoos. As you can tell from my frizz, I was needing some.
My mom put on a candle she brought back from China. I'm guessing their products don't have to pass the same kind of safety inspections that ours do. We were all worried about burning the place down.Mile 19: My first temper tantrum
I admit to being a little emotional on my birthday. For no obvious reason, other than maybe fatigue and missing my husband, I felt like crying a lot of the day. I would be ungrateful if I didn't acknowledge the efforts of Jen and Christopher, my parents and Sarah to wish me a happy birthday. They were awesome. But, I still felt disappointed with the day and that carried over to the next day as well.
I hate it when I become publicly grumpy, and usually try to channel my inner hermit to avoid such displays of moodiness, but there was no where to go in Jen's temporary apartment and everyone within my immediate parameter was treated to a full display of hmmphs, eye rolls, mutterings and the shaping of my hair into a pony tail (a sure sign of annoyance on my part).
It didn't help that my car started to make funny noises. During my visit with Jane, Melanie and Susan, Zoey came over at one point to inform me that Henry was putting rocks in my tires. I didn't think anything of it, but as I was driving away from Jane's, I didn't notice a funny sound, that after inspection, seemed to be nothing. My drive to Jen's place was completely alarm-free and to have the van making a sound right then, the day we were leaving for a family reunion in a relatively isolated place, had me stressed out.
I drove over three hours with my wheel going "clink, clink, clink" and greeted my awesome family with more ponytail making. Thankfully, I managed to cool down in my cute, woodsy room and remember that I was only there for a short time, and there was no time for my bad attitude.
Mile 20: Arriving at the Family Reunion
My sister-in-law, Tara, could be a professional party planner. Our reunion was so well organized, with every last detail attended to, that it really was easy to go with the flow and have a good time. When everybody had arrived, the kids all went on a treasure hunt with the clues read to them by their grandpa. The sprinted from clue to clue until they all found their "treasures" which was a basket for each family containing cups with our names stamped on them, straws to use for the reunion, t-shirts for those that ordered them, a printed itinerary and job list, and bubbles for fun. So cute. Guess what? I am in charge of the next reunion and I just might have to buy a few stamps now! I don't think the black sharpie has the same effect.
That evening, we played a fun game of BINGO, with cute prizes awarded to the winners, had a delicious BBQ dinner, with dutch oven peach cobbler for dessert. Yummy.
Mile 21: Losing Our "Weigh" To Mt. Rainier
Back in late April, I organized a family weight loss competition via a private blog that was based on earning points for good lifestyle habits (eating right, exercising, getting enough sleep, daily attention to our spiritual fitness, and keeping motivated by blogging about it) and that evening, the winners of the competition were awarded their prizes: $500 each. As embarrassing as it is to admit, even though I organized the whole thing, I probably performed the worst. There aren't any good excuses, but I can still come up with a bunch (packing, moving, traveling...hard!) But, I did manage to lose some weight. Not as much as our winners, Tara, who looked fantastic, and Jim, who was down to his wedding weight. He had lost almost 13% percent of his body weight since starting the competition. Incredible. My brother, Jon, was runner up in both categories, and looked great too. It was a fun night and we all learned a lot from the challenge. It's all about consistency. Blast.
Mile 22: Mt. Rainier National Park
We spent the majority of the second day at Mt. Rainier National Park. It included a short hike to view some falls, a picnic lunch, and another hike around Paradise with everyone but my mom, who had done enough hill climbing back up from the falls, and little Natalie, who was sick with a fever. The park is such a beautiful place to be and the day would have been perfect had Henry not lost one of the lenses from his glasses on our hike. I really hate children's glasses.
Mile 23: 40th Anniversary Celebration
That evening, we had a pre-celebration of my parent's 40th wedding anniversary, that will actually occur in September. All of the grandkids had filled out a questionaire about their grandma and grandpa and Jon had put together a 30 minute DVD with pictures from the last 40 years set to music. It was perfect and everyone, even Henry, enjoyed watching it. We had some cake, put the kids to bed, and then I had my parents answer some question for an Oldy-Wed game. It was fun to celebrate my parents as a couple and what child doesn't love to be reassured that his/her parent's love each other. Mine really do. It's incredible to witness, even 40 years later.
Almost 40 years later. We recreated the cake (kind of) my dad's parents were surprised with on their 40th wedding anniversary. Mile 24: NW Trek
I am not a lover of zoos. This is so much better than one! Set in an absolutely beautiful and remote location, we enjoyed spending the day walking around the park looking at big cats like cougars and bobcats, bears, eagles and owls and wolves. The best part was riding a tram into a preserved habitat where bison, mountain goats, moose, elk, and caribou all roam freely. Really freely. Like very close to our tram freely.
I love this picture. It's just how they always are. Happy and completely unaware of the rest of us grown-ups around. As it should be.It's nice to have a handy brother-in-law when you are thousands of miles away from home and your car is making a funny noise. After getting home from NW Trek, Jim took the wheel off my car and found the problem. One of the clips holding the brake pad to the brake wasn't on straight, or something like that. Anyway, he completely fixed it saving me hundreds of dollars, hours waiting for a mechanic and the absolute priceless give of peace of mind.
While I was worried about my tire, the rest of the kids played in the sprinkler. It was a hot day for rural Washington.Later that evening was the true essence of our family fashion...the singing and dancing. My nephew and niece started off the evening with an entertaining recreation song and dance from one of the High School Musicals (I'm kind of proud of myself that I truly don't know)
which was followed by Ansel and Jonas reading a funny poem.
My kids and I followed their act with our own song of "Peanut Butter and Jelly"
(yes, I made the costumes. Aren't I crafty?) and then Alyssa did her gymnastics routine (she's going to the Olympics....I can feel it).
Jon followed with his own talent of performing of Alyssa's gymnastics routine (we were crying with laughter by this point)
My dad led us in the Hokey Pokey,
AND the Macarena and then we all just dancing our hearts out underneath the stars. The s'mores were melting, the relationships strengthening and the reunion ended as a huge success.Mile 26: The Long Drive Home
The hardest mile, by far. I just wanted to be home, at this point, and I tried make it happen as quickly as possible. We drove ten hours the first day, stopping to stay with my Aunt LaRae and Uncle Jim in Idaho. We went the rest of the way the following day, with only a brief stop in Utah for a Cafe Rio lunch and visit with Amy M./ park play break for the kids. It was really fun to see her again after a couple of months and get caught up on all the goings on, as neither of us have been blogging much this summer.
Mile 26.1: The sickies
Most marathoners want acknowledgment that the race is not 26 miles. It is 26.2 miles, and those last .2 miles can be wickedly hard. The same can be said of my own marathon here. Although we are home, the enduring is not over. All three of my kids are presently sick with strep throat and some vomiting. It's not a good time.
Mile 26.2: Cast Off and First Day of School
Seth went and had his cast removed, which will no doubt make writing and life in general easier now that both Seth and Sam have left for their first day of school. It was a chaotic morning, with neither boy falling asleep until the wee hours of the morning (and when I say wee, I mean wee. Seth couldn't fall asleep until around 2:00 am and Sammy had me singing and back rubbing until almost 3:30. I don't know if it was nerves, a reaction to his antibiotics, but both of them were super restless. At first, I was super kind and compassionate until this morning, when my tiredness got the best of me and I sort of lost it with three crying, tired kids and Henry throwing up his chocolate milk on the bedroom carpet. It seemed like the hard stuff would never, ever end but....
it did.
They've been gone at school all day, I've had that alone time I've been craving (Henry is on his 4th hour of napping....hallelujah!) and the world seems right again.
I did it! I finished! I'm home!
And I finally finished this blog post. Sorry for the typos but I'm too sick of it to go back and check. Whew.....








































































































